Phoenix1312

Hi Tracker1,

Have you lived in Thailand long? Are you able to function on your own here? Do you live in a large city, or out in the boonies? Do you have any farang friends?

I would say, on the face of it, with so little info, that you married someone who was looking for money, she got it, now you are getting a more realistic version of her or of how she feels about you. My feeling about a lot of relationships with Thai people, is that they are not good at equal relationships, they either are deferential people-pleasers, and when they feel a power shift in their direction, become "not so nice" to put it mildly. Okay, maybe not all, not in every kind of relationship, but it seems to me, in family or family-ish things, love/fake love relationships??

At the very least, let us say that people who come to us, because they want money basically ....after they get the majority of what they expect, things change. You could try throwing out a large carrot, and see if suddenly, she is more able to control her feelings? Tell her someone died in your family, and you are expecting a huge payout and see what happens?

Keep delaying the carrot, come up with stories, etc. You don't even need to be a good liar here ...at least according to the lies I have heard over the years. But I would start setting myself up for independence, and see/think about how you can make a good life for yourself, without her. Put your plan into action, take the time you need ...travel a bit, find some friends, start living like you will be alone. That alone, might make things a bit better. However, don't fall for it, if she starts being nice again, while she believes in the "carrot" ...continue to make plans, and put those into action when you are able to.

Do things for YOURSELF, and yourself ONLY, and you will start to feel better. Remember that the competent person you were before Thailand ...you are still that person! And sorry for all the somewhat rude comments you got from many people here today. You don't need a job to be a husband, or have a life. Or to be a man. You might need money though, which it sounds like you have ...as I would assume most of us here, are retired, I don't know why so many people made certain kinds of comments. Knee jerk reactions. I am a woman here, and I think, I would be more than happy to live with a person like you ...but I am not looking for a cash payout!

If I HAD to live with a Thai guy that I mostly disliked, which I mostly would dislike most Thai guys, I would be a raving bitch too! In fact, living with Thai staff, that mostly drove me crazy for numerous reasons, made me quite hate life a lot more than I do now! I also hate cleaning in this heat but it is the better option for me. Things can get better for you I am sure!!! Good Luck and get busy please.

No havent lived here long but been back and forth for years living in Chiang Rai have 1 good buddy here as I only drink to be sociable can I function on my own presumably yes

Well said Tracker 1. Start to believe in yourself again. You sound like a very nice man and don't deserve this treatment. She just wants that carrot. Please do your self a favour and leave. You will be so much better off. You tell yourself you are better than that. I wish you all the best and good luck.

You are a man right?

highly unlikely

Just because some people sit around all day drinking piss and expect their wife to do everything doesnt include me

Maybe a farang wife would appreciate your being the house husband, but believe me, Thai women ... no matter what they may say ... will not respect you as a man when you're doing what they culturally believe to be woman's work. Actually I had to re-read your OP to make sure I hadn't misread and you were actually a woman. No offense meant here, just saying what it looks like to me.

I'm a farang woman. And I most certainly wouldn't appreciate a house husband unless I was a lawyer etc with small children. Where do you get off generalising us farang women. Don't think that we are beneath any race. We like our men to be men just like any woman. If she is always angry at him then there are issues and he needs to sort them out with her.

0417232946

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Got it. Will call you tomorrow..

Phoenix I am on the nsw central Coast

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You can give me your number if you like. The envelope is next to your name at the top of the page

Disgusting behaviour. What is wrong with these people.

Sorry new here I don't know how to get it

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On the top of the page there are little icons. One is an envelope. Click on that. I'm sorry but I can't put my phone number on the open forum.

Let me know if you got it. Where do you live?

I haven't been a member of this forum for long, but what strikes me is that almost everybody says that making a living in Thailand is almost impossible. But yet almost every single person that makes this statement lives over there. Just out of curiosity, are you all retired millionaires?

Haha. You nailed it. Good for you.

You have a number?

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I messaged it to you

What are vendors terms? Phoenix excuse my ignorance

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Vendors terms are you pay a deposit and I finance the rest. You can take possession of the apartment whilst paying for it. It is a legal way to buy and sell with out banks involved.

It is quite common in Australia. You can google it.

I am selling a lovely condo on the Phuket Country Club golf course. I can do some vendors terms if you like. I'm in Aus now. Willing to sell $50.000. Less than I paid for it

I think I am getting to know what we are calling 'trolling'.

No one could possibly be as stupid as this poster so it must be a troll post.

"No one could possibly be as stupid as this poster ..."

New to Thai Visa, are you?

And for the benefit of some posters who tend to take things very, very literally, my comment comes with this notice:

The money is most likely spent and long gone. Just forget about it and move on. You are not the first and won't be the last to experience deceit.

Or to practice it.

We haven't heard the other side of the story. Hard as it may be to believe, everything posted on Thai Visa isn't guaranteed to be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Silly silly woman

The money is most likely spent and long gone. Just forget about it and move on. You are not the first and won't be the last to experience deceit.

Thanks for the replies. And to those who so cavalierly assume I was just blindly listening to gossip from a friend check out my post again.

I was trying to verify what I had been told with a discrepancy in what my girlfriend had just observed this afternoon re early to work go-go dancers at Taipan. Her observation apparently undercut the accuracy and credibility of my ex-pat's bud's statement. So obviously I was already having doubts re what he had told me.

It would seem I was engaging "my head" unlike some people who didn't engage theirs enough to really see what was being asked in terms of my post. Next time try reading things from beginning to end.

Btw I did do a search before I posted but at the time I couldn't find any up to date news to help with my question so I turned to the forum in the hopes of finding some constructive clarification. And for those who gave it thank you..

There are some very cynical people on here. Don't listen to them. I do think it is in place till the end of the month. A friend who has a stall at Patpong markets told me that and it is national. Hope that helps.

You like animals?

Thank you I love animals. That was very nice of you xxx

I always said it was a win win situation. Enjoy OP.

Nah only kidding. The post was a perverted joke. Shame on you Grandpa.

I always said it was a win win situation. Enjoy OP.

What an odd question. What is wrong with a male answering her phone? Seems to me you are already suspicious of her and that is not a good way to have a relationship. Jealousy maybe?

Adams Apple?

Don't worry about feeling like an idiot. I supported my Oz ex wife fully (she didn't work the entire time) for more than the time you supported your ex, and walked away at the end with basically only what I came into the relationship with at the start - so had to write off ten years of earnings. I was then stuck with paying child support for a few years after that. It has taken me quite some time to recover financially, but doing very well now, and will be a multi-millionaire in Oz dollars within the next decade. Not trying to boast, just showing there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have to admit your case is rare, it is normally the man that supports the woman who then gets the fleecing.

But you live and learn, and as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My advice is sell the apartment, bring the money back to Oz, and move on in your life here in Oz. If you had a successful business in Oz, then you have the skills and knowledge to do it again. To be honest, once you have done that, I would probably look for somewhere else to holiday rather than Thailand, going back to Thailand is only going to bring back memories of your ex who you clearly felt very strongly for.

Good for you. Some women can be unreal can't they. Child support is a nightmare. My ex refused to pay for his children from a previous marriage. He owes a fortune but they can't get him in Thailand. Some women make you ashamed to be one.

Yes I was well and truly fleeced and he wants more. It's okay because like you I will get back to where I was. I am determent to. The only way is to learn from previous mistakes and never go there again. Life's lessons.

I did a trip to Tibet and Mt Everest. It was the best thing I could have done. Very inspiring. I don't ever want to go back to Thailand but I have to sort the apartment and put it on the market.

Good luck with your business. I hope it all works out for you x

if you watched him stiff his own children, i dont understand why you seem so surprised he would stiff you.

Long story but it had a lot to do with his ex. God we all have exes and yes I shouldn't have been surprised at all.

Don't worry about feeling like an idiot. I supported my Oz ex wife fully (she didn't work the entire time) for more than the time you supported your ex, and walked away at the end with basically only what I came into the relationship with at the start - so had to write off ten years of earnings. I was then stuck with paying child support for a few years after that. It has taken me quite some time to recover financially, but doing very well now, and will be a multi-millionaire in Oz dollars within the next decade. Not trying to boast, just showing there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have to admit your case is rare, it is normally the man that supports the woman who then gets the fleecing.

But you live and learn, and as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My advice is sell the apartment, bring the money back to Oz, and move on in your life here in Oz. If you had a successful business in Oz, then you have the skills and knowledge to do it again. To be honest, once you have done that, I would probably look for somewhere else to holiday rather than Thailand, going back to Thailand is only going to bring back memories of your ex who you clearly felt very strongly for.

Good for you. Some women can be unreal can't they. Child support is a nightmare. My ex refused to pay for his children from a previous marriage. He owes a fortune but they can't get him in Thailand. Some women make you ashamed to be one.

Yes I was well and truly fleeced and he wants more. It's okay because like you I will get back to where I was. I am determent to. The only way is to learn from previous mistakes and never go there again. Life's lessons.

I did a trip to Tibet and Mt Everest. It was the best thing I could have done. Very inspiring. I don't ever want to go back to Thailand but I have to sort the apartment and put it on the market.

Good luck with your business. I hope it all works out for you x

Who's going to win the first Origin Game this Wednesday?

The Good Guys in Maroon, or the Bad Boys in Blue?

Queenslander

I'm beginning to warm to you ...

Haha

So he lived off you for most of the 8 years, shacks up with a new bird, and he wants a slice (or all) of the apartment you bought before you met him. Nice. And he got to have sex with you for all of those years, judging by your photos that wasn't exactly hardship. He must have been a handsome man alright.

Anyway good luck. I have a nice couch as well, its free on Saturdays, and I live in Oz :-)

Yes he did and that's a fact. He claims it was his right and he lived very well. I didn't want to put that on here because I feel like a total idiot. He was very handsome but looks aren't everything are they? I was stupid simple as that.

I loved him. I know he loved me too. What we had was very rare so I couldn't believe what happened and how fast it did. We were happy or so I thought. Really I am fine now and have seen the light.

Couch free on Saturdays, gee I just need Monday to Friday now lol.

Please don't take offence to this, but purely from a legal perspective, if you were defacto living together for 8 years before you got married, then in the eyes of the law I imagine he would be entitled to some of that apartment.

8 years is a long time, long enough that all the assets get laid out on the table and divided. Of course it doesn't help that he has transferred his assets to the new Thai girlfriend.

What exactly have your lawyers advised? Are you using Thai lawyers or Oz lawyers? Do the Thai assets fall under Oz law? Surely the lawyers can see that he has shifted his assets to someone else and that because it was done so quickly they still belong in the marital pool?

Does he not have any other assets (super?) that can form part of the marital pool, thereby strengthening your claim on the full apartment.

All very messy, but only proper legal advice can sort this out.

Also I would be wanting to sell that apartment ASAP and bring the money back to Oz where it will be much safer. Forging of signatures in Thailand to get control of property, then mortgaging it to the hilt to loan sharks, is not unheard of, particularly in Phuket.

It is a bit messy I agree. I am going to Bangkok next month to sort it out. I have been told because the money to purchase it and it's in my name he can't touch it. Saga in forged signatures do happen. He forged mine to gain the restaurant and then transfer it in to her name. I do have the bank statements to prove it.

I might add the Aus lawyers have said it also depends on what he contributed financially to our relationship. He worked about 18 months as a chef and then lived of my business for the rest of the time. So I am hopeful I will sort it all out. Boy it's not easy when it's another country you are dealing with.

I am selling the apartment. ASAP