ToYoungToRetire

My job takes me all around the world so I have spent a lot of times in immigration queues.

At Brisbane and Melbourne airports I have witnessed 20 to 30 minute queue times while I have witnessed queue times of 1 hour and over at Charles De Gaulle and Joberg. I was in Bali 2 months ago and regrettably didn't use the express service people were offering when I entered the large immigration hall. Suffice to say I waited over 2 hours to get through. Don't even ask about Central and West Africa!

As for Suvarnabhumi airport it is no different from a lot of airports. I have heard people grumbling in lines all over the world while waiting with their passport in one hand and a bag in the other. These people had no choice, but to wait. No express services were offered. In Bangkok this option is offered and in fact I use it costing me 850 baht. 850 baht! The price of a meal. The price of a nice glass of Merlot. A small price to pay to see my kids 1 hour earlier than I normally would. I don't get that choice in most airports. At Suvarnabhumi I do.

Standing in the line won't speed up the waiting time. Complaining about it won't speed up the waiting time. You know what will speed up the waiting time? Paying 850 baht.

If you don't like it pay the money to bypass it.

It shouldn't be necessary to have to pay extra - and such a large amount at that (the price of four nice meals for me, or 850 liters of drinking water from the water machine in my apartment building) - just for reasonably prompt immigration service at an airport. In fact, having the option to pay extra for express service gives immigration officers the perverse incentive to serve people as slowly as possible - in order to entice as many people as possible to pay extra for the express service. No way would I reward them for that scam.

A large amount of money? 850 baht! I suppose it is relative and you may well be retired. I am not. I work for a living and can afford to pay it.

If you cannot afford to pay the 850 baht then be prepared to wait. I can pay it and I will be in the arms of my wife and kids one hour earlier than if I didn't pay it.

It aint a scam. Bangkok immigration waiting times are no different than a lot around the world. Except they offer an express service. A lot of airports don't and I have no choice but to wait. At Bangkok I have a choice. So thanks to Suvarnabhumi for offering me this choice. I am very grateful for it.

​If you cannot afford it then don't complain because others can. Complaining won't speed the queue up. Paying 850 baht will.

Obviously I will not be seeing you next Friday night at L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon in Bangkok if you consider 850 baht a lot of money!

How do you the "express" service. I dont recall seeing that at the airport.

My last and only experience was "ok". Immigration wasnt bad for me but while I was there the line filled up and got 4 times longer, the people behind me had a long wait.

The taxi was a different story. Typical Taxi mafia crap, when I insisted the guy use his meter he actually pulled over on the side of the freeway and wouldnt go. I told him turn on the meter or take me back to the airport and I'll get a different taxi. We sat there for a good 5 minutes before I took out my phone and told him I was calling the police. He then finally turned the meter and drove me to my hotel, he was trying to charge me 700, The total ended up being about 350...

If youd would like you mental midget I would be more than happy to help you understand

To the hotel owners...

I think its a great way to save on room cost by not having the AC on constantly. However if you're from a cooler climate like I am there really is no chance to adjust to the mind numbing heat of Thailand. Getting back to your room which is your sanctuary from the heat and having it take a full hour to get to a comfortable temperature is very unpleasant. My last trip to thailand I made a very simple purchase that completely changed returning to my room, I bought a fan. A decent functioning in every way it should fan, one I sit very close to my bed to get the full effect of moving air. I also wasnt mounted 1 ft off the ceiling blowing down the hottest air in the room onto my bed like some hotels I stayed at.

1. I've stayed in hotels where the fan was mounted in such a way it could never be adjusted to actually point at the bed.

2. I've stayed at hotels where the wall mounted fan oscillator was stuck on or off.

I would have to think the wall mounted fans are more expensive. Keeping a few of the standard desktop fans at the hotel for customers to use would be a very nice option with minimal additional expense.

More important than the AC is the refrigerator. Having the AC turn makes it impossible to keep food and liquids take even longer than the room to cool down.

Am I missing the connection? This is neither funny or prophetic...

"Can you guess which one is the lady boy?" - it's a trick question. They all are.

Only one is (to the best of my knowledge)...

2nd from the left

Nope...2nd from the right...

"Can you guess which one is the lady boy?" - it's a trick question. They all are.

Only one is (to the best of my knowledge)...

Stanleys with some expats have beers and lunch with me...

I would occassionally call into Stanley's and say hello to Keith, the owner. Last I heard, he was in Issarn.

I know Runi (probably not spelt correctly) He is/was a TPV - but I never see him on duty.

There's some friendly bars along Soi Baanzan, but I wouldn't suggest the OP have a night out in this part of Patong.

I talked with Rune quite a bit while I was there, good guy. He liked to come to the hotel for lunch, sometimes with his daughter. He's got some interesting stories about the tsunami. I never met the owner

I bought my phone in USA and had it unlocked before I left for thailand. Worked perfect for me and it was nice to have my phone setup the way I like it.

Phuket Nice bar/hotel across the street from my Favorite hotel the Orchid... Phuket nice had very low priced rooms but I didnt stay there.

If you see Lek tell her Peter from America sent you and that I said hi! Her Fiance owns the bar...

Fang on the left and Lek on the right...

If you plan on getting more than 20ft out of the touristy area's and have a smart phone get a translator app. Requires internet connection...

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greenleaf.android.translator.enes.b&hl=en

Couple of more things, stay away from the really nice hotels if you plan on bringing a girl back to your room. They wont refuse you but you might get some dirty looks from the staff.

If you are single and going to Patong you will eventually bring a girl back to your room, its inevitable.

Buy condoms and size them before you need them, medium for a thai is not medium for a Pharang... to large or to small can ruin your night...

If you care about being ripped off sign for all tours yourself.

Never ever get into an unmetered taxi without first negotiating the price.

My last trip I was in Pattaya, on my last day I found a taxi that would drive me anywhere I wanted to go in a big clean air conditioned van for 8 hours for 1000bht. It pays to ask around

If you get tired of drinking and whoring around go See "Big Buddha" and the nearby Buddhist temple (please be respectful, these are not tourist destinations these are religious sites).

Stanleys with some expats have beers and lunch with me...

Not the prettiest girls, but they make up for it by being super sweet and fun... Kangaroo bar day staff. Can you guess which one is the lady boy?

I really enjoyed this hotel. There was some construction starting across the steet so I dont know about noise levels currently. This is right next to all of the night life. Across the street is a quiet French bar with a manager named Lek who's voice I can only describe as snowwhite doing a porno .... There are cheaper hotels and quieter hotels, but I found this one to be my favorite. 1 minute walking from Bangla, its also where all of the girls park their motorbikes. Sitting at the bar at 10pm or 4am when they make their way to/from work can be great eye candy.

http://www.hotels.com/hotel/details.html?tab=description&destinationId=1806849&destination=Patong%2C+Thailand&hotelId=448897&arrivalDate=07-03-15&departureDate=07-10-15&rooms[0].numberOfAdults=2&roomno=1&validate=false&previousDateful=false&reviewOrder=date_newest_first&hotelid=448897&rffrid=eml.hcom.US.440.00.2015.01.06.src00.00.00.0000.0000.00.0000.kwrd%3DHTL.TR.CAN.eml.1806849.448897.canhotel01

Another good hotel if you want to meet expats in Patong is (and you will eventually want to meet expats so you can speak English with someone fluent in it).

http://www.hotels.com/hotel/details.htmlchildren%5B0%5D=0&previousDateful=false&reviewOrder=date_newest_first&dd=07/10/15&so=DISTANCE_FROM_LANDMARK&rl=GEO_LOCATION:Patong,+Kathu+District,+Phuket,+Thailand%7C7.896914958953857%7C98.30200958251953:GEOCODE:UNKNOWN&roomno=1&pa=1&rooms%5B0%5D.numberOfAdults=2&tab=description&dn=Patong,+Kathu+District,+Phuket,+Thailand&hotelId=436229&cd=07/03/15 Its far enough from the action thats its quiet (for patong) and you have message palor right across the street, 7/11 ectera... Its about 15 minutes walking distance to Bangla (where the girls are). I Know the staff is completely different now, but when i stayed there the staff went above and beyond for everything I desired. My biggest complaint about the place is the bed was hard and there was no elevator. Food is so/so, but I'm not a big fan of English style cooking...To the left and right are bars owned by expats, both are very nice guys who are very helpful.

This was one of my favorite hangouts during the day, I girls were beyond sweet and fun. The night staff not so much fun, but very attractive. Decent mix of music...

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kangaroo-Bar-Soi-Bangla-Patong-Phuket/46087034860

If this is your first trip to Patong...

1. Go to http://www.jungceylon.com/index_en.aspx and get some DET bug spray, use it every day especially below the knees. Its also a good place to stock up on everyday items (look for the grocery store).

2. Bring footwear that dries quickly.

3. Bring Underwear / Shirts that dry quickly (wicking).

4. Buy an umbrella your first day there before it rains, it will rain...

5. The fresh food market at night is great place to grab a bite. I will pretty much eat anything so I dont know if all of the food there is for everyone. https://www.google.com/maps/place/Ban+San+Fresh+Market/@7.891166,98.301652,15z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0xecb83eaace4d02a5?sa=X&ei=RVOsVIyfCYjaoASoxoGwDw&ved=0CHoQ_BIwCw

6. Its HOT, I mean HOT and humid.

The girls....the working girls, I dont mean thai woman in general.

1. They're doing their job when they're nice to you.

2. they're doing their job when they're helpful.

3. They doing their job when they come on to you.

4. Its their job to get very dollar of you they can.

5. They will tell any lie they think you will fall for to get money out of you.

6. its their job to make you happy and empty your wallet.

7. Dont fall in love, they are working girls.

8. Dont fall for any sob stories about sick family or starving family... Its their job to get every penny out of you...

9. She's not your girlfriend, she many Farangs Girlfriend...

That doesnt mean they are bad people, you are their job. Its their job to empty your wallet and fill theirs. Some are very nice girls who couldnt find any other work. If you plan on bringing a girl to your room put EVERYTHING in the hotel safe, EVERYTHING. Any decent hotel you stay at will make the girls check in, this is for your safety. I cant say for sure but Its possible my drink was drugged by a girl while I was there, watch your drinks...

Read this book before you go.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761454985/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I got sick 3 times while eating in Patong, each time was after eating a restaurant. I never got sick eating off of the food carts. If you go out to the bars during the day watch the girls who work around you. When they all run out to buy lunch from a cart go with them. I had some great inexpensive food that way.

Judging from your picture you're built like me, not exactly skinny ... You'll have a hard time finding decent clothes that fit, bring everything you need with you.

Insist on a metered taxi at the airport. Bring directions in English and in Thai on how to get to your hotel from the airport.

Bring a unlocked phone and buy a thai SIM with DATA at the airport. Being able to use online mapping and GPS/ searching is invaluable especially if you get lost.

I havent posted much here, but this post is typically the highlight of my "thailand" day.

Thanks guys.

So I'm planning my second trip to Thailand...

I have a female friend who lives in Southern Eastern mainland Thailand. I was hoping to ....

1. Spend a few days in Bangkok and meet up with my Pharang friend and his Thai wife. And of course sample the nightlife...

2. Get a rental car and drive to Issan and pickup my friend and drive the short distance to the Laos border and spend a few days in Laos.

3. Drive back to Thailand, possibly drop her off at her home or Bangkok and go to Chon Buri/Pattaya for a few days.

4. Back to Bangkok for my last evening and a flight back home.

Total time 2 weeks...

Problem is my Pharang Friend in Thailand is telling me if rent a car I will most likely not be allowed to take it over the (any) Laos border.

Got any imput on that?

If you get into a taxi without negotiating price first.... Farang tax is everywhere, every country I've visited tries to charge more to foreigners. Taxi drivers are the worst of the bunch...

Wyoming is a large desolate place. She choose her location poorly, and she must have admitted to it. That many years and all evidence would be gone.

Anyhow she's 75, she'll be dead in prison in no time. Hardly a just punishment for the crime if it wasnt self defense.

What's all the fuss about? Two consenting adults having a bit of fun.

Isn't that the justification used by many perverts the world over? Including farang sexpats in Thailand?

You're so cute!

So this noob has yet to get out the tourist traps and bars.. Is that sleep quarters for the Farm hands?

I smiled.

If you are in a relationship its safe, easier and less expensive to the man to have a vasectomy. Mine in the US was around 30,000bht, I'm sure thailand would be much less. The equivalent procedure for a woman in the US is 2 to 5 times as much with a longer more painful healing process.