jing jing

Seeing as this one's about to be closed in short order I'll throw in my 2 cents worth as quickly as possible.

Without getting into value judgements about OP's life choices, and assuming that his first wife and kids have already gotten a chunk of his cash and property, I would suggest he needs to sit down and think long and hard about what he really wants his life to look like for the next 20 years.

Does he want to continue his relationship with the Thai woman and their daughter over the long term? If so, it will be difficult to do from afar. If not, then sending them some money on a regular basis seems like the only right thing to do, assuming the child is in fact his, and he will have to accept that his GF may end up with a new man (I know, I know ) in her life.

If it was me, I'd do whatever necessary to secure my finances... take the first decent job offered... and try to send money and visit whenever possible.

Scam or no scam, if it's his daughter she ought to get some support from him -- that's the bottom line. 100K in one shot may be more than he can manage but it's not an unreasonable amount. Unfortunately it may be going to pay off old debt rather than buy food and clothes for the little one.

Tough situation, but OP seems like a decent sort who's made some less than stellar moves and gotten a few bad breaks besides. Best of luck to him and the little one... they could sure do with a little bit.

I think that raising a family in Thialand definitely gives a different outlook on the place.

[snip]

Indeed.

Living upcountry with wife, kids, and extended family is a bit different than living in a tourist area and hanging out watching footie at the pub.

Seeing how Thais raise kids, up close and personal, certainly gives insight into the whys and wherefores of Thai culture.

Also, living in a place where almost nobody speaks any English obviously forces an expat to learn more of the language and local customs.

Of course, as GH has suggested, even upcountry there are those who will find the one pub within an hours drive from their dwelling and spend all day drinking with their mates, much as they may do back home, thus avoiding any meaningful contact with the locals and engendering a feeling that Thais are ignorant, backwards, impossible to understand, and generally inferior to themselves.

The fact is that living anywhere in the world full-time for an extended period of time is different than visiting that place regularly, so Thailand is not unique in that regard.

I agree with Heng the most in this thread. As a luk kreung myself, the truth is that you guys are looking too far into this rather than seeing Luk kreungs simply as children of opportunistic Thais and farangs. Luk kreungs are not their own distinct class/culture (aside from the stupid media buzz), and within a generation or two usually marry outside of Thailand or marry a Thai. In the long run though, there won't be a lasting luk kreung "sub-ethnicity/culture" in Thailand like the Thai-Chinese but instead the luk kreungs will assimilate or leave but ultimately a generation or two down the line their children and grandchildren will be Thai and not really have the whole "luk kreung" cultural thing intact.

That may be true, but as I understood it the OP's question was whether first generation lukkreungs would face discrimination in Thai society. What would happen to the next generation is anybody's guess, considering the number of independent variables involved.

Thai Women of high social class are not likely to marry farang men

Nonsense.

Not if they're pensioners living in Pattaya.

Nor English teachers living in Isaan, for that matter.

I imagine the average luk kreung kid would endure some teasing if he/she was put through the Thai public school system, especially if mom and dad were uneducated or of lower social status themselves. On the other hand, if the child in question has two college educated parents and attends private schools in Thailand or is educated overseas, then I'd bet he or she stands a better than average chance of success in the Thai corporate world. Naturally, in certain business circles where nepotism is practiced exclusively there would be no chance for a luk kreung to break in, but otherwise they should fare rather well.

I'm looking for a car - already own a Toyota 4 door pickup - to drive the highways and byways of Thailand in a modicum of style and comfort at a reasonable price. Browsing the usual sources of info I've noticed that mid-nineties BMW E36's are available in the 400-500,000 baht range, which seems like a lot of car for the money. In particular, the 325 model is even cheaper than the 318 in many cases -- probably due to the higher maintenance costs.

What I'm wondering is, how difficult is it to find parts and service for these cars, and how suitable are they for Thai road conditions (i.e. hot, dusty, big bumps and potholes, etc.), from folks who have some firsthand experience.

Also, would you opt for the 318 or 325 if the acquisition price was about equal? And how much more expensive is the 325 to operate than the four-banger?

Congratulations on the new baby.

What type of visa do you want to get? How much time do you plan to spend in Thailand?

With your child's birth certificate naming you as the father, you can get further documentation from your own embassy which will then allow you to get a 1 year non-immigrant visa in your home country.

I've gone through the process with two children, am not legally married, and have never heard anything about needing confirmation from a Thai court.

Reasonable folks ought to concede that it would be NICE if so-called wealthy retirees could have a permanent visas and "rights" equal to Thai nationals, but guess what? Ain't gonna happen. I know of several fellas here on retirement visas who need do nothing more than mail some simple paperwork to their local immigration office every 3 months and they're good to go. On a related note, if the US gummint had kept better track of who they'd issued visas to prior to you know when, we taxpayers might have been spared Dubya's 200 billion dollar a year "war on terra."

Furthermore, although my lovely significant other was fortunate enough to receive a 10 year tourist visa to the good ol' US of A which normally allows her to stay 6 months at a time, for every one like her there are probably a hundred others who are refused visas altogether. Basically, the only way they will EVER set foot on those golden shores is by marrying a citizen.

Is life fair? I don't reckon so. We play the game in Thailand knowing the rules and taking the bad with the good. For many of us it is the very ambiguous, everything-is-subject-to-change, no-hard-and-fast-rules sort of environment that makes living here more interesting than existing back in Farangistan. Things are different here and it's unlikely that we foreigners are ever going to change the situation into something more like where we came from, and I say thank (insert deity of your choice) for that.

Suitable thread on His birthday?

title of ‘khunying’ (the highest title awarded to women) was recently conferred by His Majesty the King in recognition of such contributions.

- ARC Asia Pacific Futures Research Network PROJECT SUMMARIES Third Round 2005

No comment on the suitability of the topic, and the hairstyle is definitely not my cup of tea, but I was under the impression that the title of 'thanpuying' is higher than 'khunying.' Please correct me if I'm mistaken.

Sure I could walk out without leaving a tip at all, but for a two hour massage costing on average 350 baht, 100 baht seems like a pretty generous tip. Still, somehow I feel guilty leaving less, especially if it was a really good massage.

I find in general the cuter girls give the worse massages, maybe because they know some dudes will give them a good tip just because they're cute so they don't need to put much effort into the massage. I try to discourage that practice by giving a much smaller tip for a lousy massage, regardless of how hot the girl looks.

I don't feel persecuted, just on a short leash. It's only normal to desire more stable status in a country you have moved to and live in full time. And again the obvious, you can't be a second class citizen if you aren't even a citizen.

Interesting how 2 people can perceive the same situation 2 different ways. Here I feel no leash at all, free to do more or less what I please, whereas back in the States they jerk my leash the minute I hit Immigration.

I am only talking about length of permission to stay. That is the short leash. I don't run a biz here but the rules for that sound very restrictive around that, another leash. I also prefer living here to the states; that is why I want more perm status.

Comprendo. As I said, there are workarounds, but as of now we are permanently impermanent. Can we stay as long as we like? The answer to that is a definite "maybe."

I don't feel persecuted, just on a short leash. It's only normal to desire more stable status in a country you have moved to and live in full time. And again the obvious, you can't be a second class citizen if you aren't even a citizen.

Interesting how 2 people can perceive the same situation 2 different ways. Here I feel no leash at all, free to do more or less what I please, whereas back in the States they jerk my leash the minute I hit Immigration.

There is always some sick desire by some farang to paint poor Thais as spiritual enlightened beings, when in reality it is the complete opposite. They are less spiritual and intelligent than richer Thais. They live a meager life style because they have no other choice.

"They are poor, but at least they are happier than Americans" -- I don't see any factual basis for this statement. The Thais, the ones working slave like jobs and standing in store isles, they look like zombies, not the enlightened happy beings that you describe.

Have you ever been to Issan? I doubt it. You have an open invite to my village. You will see most of the people earning 100-300 baht per day. what you will not see are zombies or unhappy people. I have travelled to every continent on the globe other than australasia and i have never seen people as happy.

Less intelligent? Maybe less educated but money does not buy intelligence.

As for them being less spiritual, that is the biggest pile of bovine dung i have read on this thread. Get out of the city and open your eyes.

If they are so happy than why do they send their teenage daughters to sell their bodies to old men in the hopes that he will marry her and take her out of that perfect, happy, blissful lifestlye? There are not ANY unhappy people in Isaan? Zero? Nata?

Please explain to me the difference between intelligence and education. Ever heard the phrase 'use it or lose it'?

A real one-trick pony, regardless of topic you always return to your favorite theme of the farmer's teenage daughter selling her body to repulsive old men in order to satisfy the family's craving for white whiskey, mobile phones, and a new motorbike. What you apparently fail to realize is that this scenario does not represent reality for the majority of families in Issan.

Why do some folks hammer this theme so relentlessly when they have no real knowledge of life upcountry?

Anyway, this discussion is so far off-topic it's not worth pursuing... let's just say it's obvious that Tony's awareness of the happiness and spirituality, or lack thereof, in the average Thai village is virtually nonexistent.

Back to the topic, put me in the group of folks who feels like they're getting a pretty fair shake over here. Although it would be nice to have more favorable visa and land ownership rules, this being Thailand there are always workarounds if you have even the slightest inclination to figure them out. Although admittedly I'm not moving in HiSo circles, I never get the feeling I'm considered inferior. If anything I'm usually given some deference or special treatment (hey, I'm rich and have white skin, right?), except in tourist areas.

If I truly felt persecuted or hard done by here, since I have the choice, I'd probably find someplace else to live.

Certainly the house should be oriented to take advantage of prevailing breezes and afternoon shade. For whatever reason it is a no-no for Thais to sleep with their head toward the west, but if you pay attention when drawing up the house plans, avoiding that shouldn't present a huge problem. If it's important to your mate but all the same to you, why put up a fuss? Save fighting for the important stuff... like the color of the curtains or which shower head is best. ;p

It seems most Thailand-based expats favor Singapore and Hong Kong as their "offshore" banking centers of choice. This may be at least partially due to their relative proximity to Thailand, as well as the availability of user-friendly accounts with all the popular features, i.e. internet banking and proper ATM/debit cards. I've also heard some discussion in expat circles of banks based in Isle of Man and Jersey, which apparently are advantageous to UK citizens for tax reasons. I'm wondering if these banks, as well as the SGP and HK-based ones, offer the same degree of tax "invisiblility" to US citizens as they do to our UK-domiciled brethren?

In short, how does offshore banking in the Isle of Man compare with Singapore and Hong Kong for US taxpayers?

I went back to that restaurant the other day(first time for a couple of years) and ordered "Grapao gai mai pet thoraai" and guess what? Too bloody spicy - I aint going there again.

you are also ordering a dish that is normally very spicy, why not just say mai sai prick? pretty difficult to misinterpret that.

Indeed. Also why order a spicy dish if you don't want something particularly spicy? I do love my gapao gai/muu and have never ordered it any other way than straight up (pet mai? ao thamadaa krap) but if they go too heavy on the prik I just flick a few off to the side. Normally there's nothing left on the plate.

Have you guys considered that you have certain characteristics or qualities that cause the women who aren't interested solely in money to avoid you?

Tony, your contributions to this topic don't merit a serious response but I'll try to elucidate for you just a little bit in spite of your apparent supercilious attitude.

Consider the market for potential mates to be analagous to any other competitive market -- the prime assets will generally find their way into the hands of those with greater resources. At the risk of further alienating the female/feminist contingent here on TV I would suggest that a woman's greatest resource when it comes to attracting men is her sex appeal. If you wish to refute that, please give an example of a successful and/or handsome male (i.e. a "good catch") who has chosen an unattractive woman as his mate.

Conversely, I would suggest that a man's greatest resource for attracting women is the sum total combination of his charm, good looks, and financial werewithal... with finances being the dominant factor. If you wish to refute that please give us an example of a beautiful woman from a non-disadvantaged background who has chosen a poor, boring, unattractive man as her mate.

My earlier homily about attractive women and wealthy men was obviously an oversimplication as there are other factors at work, such as the woman's degree of affluence, the man's appearance and personal charisma, social status, and the like.

From a fellow who makes comments implying that he can have all the beautiful women he wants without spending a dime, it sure would be interesting to see a picture of you and your latest conquest along with an accounting of your expenditures to date.

Of course, every guy is a Valentino when they're hacking away at their keyboard on an internet forum.

Somebody wiser than I once said that women generally end up with the wealthiest man they can attract, and men with the most attractive woman they can afford.

Right, somebody wise back in the 7th Century.

Do you deny that it's true? There are exceptions of course, but the evidence is all around you... the same basic principles of mating and dating have been in effect since day one.

I have a close friend living here who prides himself on the fact that his Thai girlfriends over the years have never been bargirls... all had "real" jobs... but somehow they all ended up getting gifts, trips, expensive meals, and other forms of financial support from him.

Dating back in the west, if the woman was attractive and had other suitors, generally involved some wining, dining, or the promise of future "rewards" as part of the deal. Part of the screening process for most [attractive] women is determining if the man in question is capable of providing some degree of financial security for her and her children in the future.

Somebody wiser than I once said that women generally end up with the wealthiest man they can attract, and men with the most attractive woman they can afford.

Damian, if you're dating a hot young Thai woman and aren't helping her out financially I can just about guarantee you that she's seeing someone else who is, or will be as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

SBK, it may be that you aren't aware of all the reasons behind why the Thai women you know married the foreigners they did, but I would venture to say they didn't end up with men who were financially dependent on them... they probably found the wealthiest guys they could attract.

Was it a hot one? I also have a tub but use it exclusively for taking showers It's just now getting cool enough to enjoy a hot bath.

Ah Yes, nothing like a hot bath, a glass of red wine, and a couple of Vicodin to relieve the daily stress of family life...

^^Steve, did you ever get that piston and barrel sorted out?

How much did you pay for your SP?

I paid 15K plus tax and fees -- about 18K out the door.

As an update to the RC valve question, I just got around to doing some tinkering with my SP, pulling the tank and bodywork off to have a better look at the inner workings and discovered that one of the small hoses connecting to the carb body - some sort of emissions recirculation gizmo or such - had cracked and broken off with age. I snipped off the ragged bit on the end and reconnected it, put in a new spark plug, and voila! the bike runs like a tiger. All the shops I'd brought it to said the RC valve was working fine and it didn't need a piston yet.

Now I'm really glad I read this topic... the NSR is a slick little motorcycle, fun to ride and it's cool to look at besides. Due to the age of these bikes I would recommend that anyone considering purchasing one have a little bit of mechanical know-how or experience with wrenching because part of the fun is - as a buddy of mine likes to say - "rubbin' on it".

By the way, as I wrote in the other topic, in a total coincidence just as I was bringing my bike up to Surin from Chonburi I stopped for some noodles and saw another NSR 150 SP for sale in front of the shop, cleaner than mine is, in Repsol colors -- I got the owner's number so if anybody's interested, send me a PM.

CB750 eh? You couldn't get much farther from an NSR than that, short of a chopper.

Amazingly enough I was bringing my bike to Surin from Chonburi last weekend and stopped for some noodles, and what was sitting for sale in front of the shop but a very clean NSR Pro Arm in Repsol colors. It was in better shape cosmetically than mine but shows more km on the clock. Fired it up and it sounded healthy, RC valve seemed to be working.

Anyway, I got the owner's phone number... if anyone is interested, shoot me a PM.

A decent Superfour will cost minimum 55K, more likely in the 70-75K range and parts may not be so cheap or readily available.

15K should buy a Dash RS in good condition, I've seen them for that much or less.

30K IMO is way too much for an NSR Pro-Arm where the true condition is unknown. These shops know very well how to tart up an old battleax, and a new paintjob with old tires is one of those deals that sends up a red flag for me. I'd prefer a bike with an old paintjob at a reasonable price because new paint can be done for about 5K. I'd hesitate to pay more than 25K for the bike without being quite sure the mechanicals are solid.

I don't think riding the bike would be showing too much interest. Ride every bike you can just for comparison, and at some point you'll need to whip out cash and make an offer anyway, so they'll know you're interested then.

Where are all you fellas getting your rebuilds done? Those sound like some excellent prices. Yesterday a shop told me the piston and rings alone are 3500 baht just for the parts -- sounds like BS to me but then I haven't priced them yet at a dealer.

Let the good times roll! What's the itinerary, spending the whole time in Bkk or planning to do some travelling about?

And hey, how's Saudi Arabia compared to Italy and Thailand by the way? Inquiring minds want to know.

What you want and what you get are sometimes 2 different things.

Up to you