mstevens

9 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

People bashed me starting on the second post because I am of opinion that I am better off in Canada. 

And that sort of talk makes some long-stayers in Thailand feel threatened because it confronts them and forces them to consider that maybe Thailand is not as great as they make it out to be, or maybe they are stuck and even if they wished to move back home it might not be possible due to their financial situation.

I think it's a great shame the way this whole thread has deteriorated and there have been veiled personal attacks when the discussion of long-term expats moving back to their homeland is very relevant these days given the number of people who are returning home after a long stay in Thailand.

18 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Even though I'm experiencing a culture shock of epic proportions,

I moved back after many years in Thailand.  One thing I never felt was culture shock or "reverse culture shock" as some refer to it.

All was well for me for a few years, but then I found that I started missing Thailand.  It wasn't that there were any problems at home.  I think it was the fact that home is rather quiet and can be boring and I was missing the liveliness of Bangkok.

I think I was often guilty of comparing things between New Zealand and Thailand which almost always showed NZ was better such as clean air and water, free of corruption, free medical care, high quality food etc.  All of these things are entirely true but often they are just not that applicable to me.  For example, I always drink bottled water in Thailand (which is cheaper than the portion of your property tax which covers water in NZ).  The corruption in Thailand had zero direct effect on me.  I lead a very healthy life and have had no need to pay for medical issues.  I ate out most of the time in Thailand in decent enough restaurants so food quality was never an issue....and on it goes.  I guess the point I am trying to make is that when you make comparisons between Thailand and your home country you need to make sure that the comparisons you make are valid and relevant to you.  Comparing things that don't really matter or are not relevant to you is an exercise in one-upmanship.

I'd love to split my time evenly between here and Thailand but I just don't have the finances to allow that.

It's great that you are happy in Canada and don't miss Thailand.  I felt exactly the same.  But my feelings did change somewhat over time.....so be prepared because that might happen to you too.

7 hours ago, baansgr said:

Forget the deposit, turn all the electrics and water on, put fresh prawns in as many hiding places you can and have a good flight home.?

 

And if you are feeling really naughty, a bag of ready mixed cement down all the pipes and toilet.

And slip a pair of handcuffs on your own wrists while you're at it.

If the photos in that article are anything to go by perhaps they should suggest the woman aims for a guy a little closer to her own age (unless of course she wants him to die decades before she does).

You will get the visa no problem (so long as you're still married at the time you apply for it).  The ban will not be waived.

You can't go to the cops if you want to keep what happened a secret as sooner or later - most likely sooner - everything will be known by everyone.  Therefore you need a strategy to kill this situation as quickly as you can.

I'd never normally suggest paying off someone who was blackmailing you but if she wants 1,000 baht then I would give it to her.  Many Thais have this idea that nothing in life is free....so she probably sees your tryst as an action by her that resulted in a debt you now owe her.  Pay her and in her mind that will be the end of it.  I disagree with others who believe that she will request more money from you - I doubt she will come back asking for more. 

And I'd actually tell her that you're very sorry about what happened.  This, again, might sound like a crazy thing to say to a blackmailer but you're looking for a strategy to resolve the situation, right?  Apologising is what I would do.  Contrition works with Thais and is an effective means of deescalating and resolving a difficult situation.  The absolute last thing you should try and do is tell this woman she is in the wrong or, God forbid, say to her that you will go to the police or anything like that.  That will escalate things and make it much worse and much more difficult to resolve.  It has been my experience that in confrontations most Thais cannot be reasoned with.

So I'll go totally against the grain here and suggest that you pay her 1,000 baht (which is peanuts in terms of the big picture) and apologise for any upset you may have caused her.  With a bit of luck that will be the end of it.

17 minutes ago, Jeffrey346 said:

We had our 2 kittens done when they were close to 6 months. Our vet said it's not all about age, the kitten needs to weigh at leased 1 kg.

Ditto this.  Had our male cat done about 6 months ago when he was perhaps 7 or 8 weeks old.  Vet said wait until he is a kg in weight and do it then as apparently the younger it is done, the less traumatic and the faster they recover from it.  Dropped him off in the morning, the procedure was carried out and when we picked him up that afternoon you wouldn't have known it - he was running around and full of energy as if nothing had happened!

1 hour ago, utalkin2me said:

I think everyone should just stop paying their debts. F--- em. That is why you pay the points anyway, because there is a chance, which they are aware of, that they wont get paid.

And then everyone who has money in the bank would find that when they went to make a withdrawal there was nothing there.  They would have no money to buy anything and society would fall over.  If you borrow money to buy things like fancy cars or high-end iPhones and you cannot pay that money back you should be ashamed of yourself.  Personal responsibility should be taken more seriously.

3 hours ago, Hoppyone said:

Can you imagine trying to get a travel insurance claim paid after a night of drinking and getting run

Anyone who gets drunk, does something stupid and then expects an insurance company to compensate them for their own recklessness is a self-entitled <deleted>.  Insurance is all about managing risk and insurance companies rightly have exclusion clauses in place for those who behave like morons while drunk or on drugs.

I left Thailand 3 years ago after living there for a similar length of time as you.  My feelings were much the same as yours - there was a time when I loved my life in Thailand but those feelings changed over time, eroded and I found myself enjoying myself more when I visited friends and family back home.  Like you, it took a few years to actually make the decision and leave Thailand, sell up everything and move my life and my wife back home.  I don't have any regrets.  That's not to say that I don't miss Thailand because I do miss some things, but with a Thai Mrs we still visit Thailand regularly - about once every 8 months or so.

Each of Thailand and our homeland have their respective advantages and disadvantages.  Just be honest with yourself about what you want from life and which country offers you what you're looking for.

FWIW, the things I don't like about being back home are the high cost of living, the political correctness and the village mentality.  Many people cannot comprehend the lives we had in Thailand....and most are not even that interested.  But the negatives are relatively minor and are more than outweighed by all the positives.

Threads like this come up from time to time and I have read more than a few people say that the culture shock of returning home is greater than the culture shock of moving to Thailand in the first place.  I never experienced any culture shock at home, or "reverse culture shock" as some call it.  At this stage in my life I prefer to live in the West, and know I can still visit Thailand any time.  More and more, I feel Thailand is best enjoyed as a tourist, and not as a resident.

Did this woman REALLY complain strongly enough to the taxi firm to get a taxi driver fired?  That strikes me as debatable.  I doubt that a driver would be fired for taking the long route as he could quite easily (and probably quite legitimately) explain that there was an accident / unusual or busy traffic that caused him to go the long way to save time.  Many taxi drivers are complained about for things much worse than going the long way and nothing comes of it.  This woman may very well be a BSer and as such, I wouldn't take a lot of notice of anything she says.