Aussiepeter

Re the army racetrack in C Mai. My Thai missus and I now agist racehorses (as well as her growing Thai fruit and veg) here in Oz and we have several good horses that race in SE QLD. In 1989 my then GF took me to the C Mai racetrack, inside the army camp at Mae Rim. I looked over the horses in the mounting yard and picked one I wanted to put my money on - (it was the 'favourite'). They have an interesting TAB there, with windows numbered from 1 to 12, each corresponding with the horse carrying that saddlecloth number. I wanted to back No 1, but as I approached window number 1 they slammed it shut ! When I asked <deleted> was going on, they told me that No 1 was no longer available as it had already been heavily supported ! "I was free to back any of the other eleven though". No thanks - but we watched the race and No 1 strolled home first easily. Later in the day I had a bet on No 5 and it clearly won, but the judge semaphored three other numbers, with No 5 as fourth ! (Imagine if they tried this on a real racetrack). The races in CM are all 1200 yards or thereabouts, with a permanently fixed barrier. No stewards and some of the dirtiest 'foul riding' I had ever seen - jockeys even trying to knock each other out of the saddle. These horses are not thoroughbreds per se, as it is 'illegal' to import any male thoroughbred (and thus increase the bloodstock). Most of these horses racing are descended from the 450 Australian Stock Horses (Standardbreds) supplied to the RTA by the Australian govt. under some aid deal in the 1980's. They do have a bar and food there and, you can even have "sidebets" (legal?) with many in the Thai crowd. Worth a look if you have nothing to do in CM on a Saturday arvo and like racing. You need to speak some Thai though, or take a pretty girl with you who does. There is a shaded grandstand and a 'members' part, which has air-con. You can also rent a horse to ride at the Cavalry Battalion at Mae Rim or at least, you could back then. It was very cheap, but only for those who are experienced riders. Don't try it if not.  

I suspect the Op is genuine with this offer, as I've been to Samoeng a couple of times in the late 90's (it is really just an area in a valley) and although quaint, there is very little of interest to speak of although it does have a hospital. Back then I met a BG who invited me to see the 'house' her last BF had paid for there. It was a simple block house with power (when it worked) and outside toilet on a dirt Soi. No running water (used the creek over the road). It is quite remote and is really dirt-bike country, or even a small 4WD. Apart from the main road, it used to be all dirt tracks back then. Usual small shacks selling booze, cigs, shampoo etc and not much else, except that December/January the area is the strawberry capital of LOS. Never saw another foreigner away from the tarmac. I had the same problem with a house in a remote area north of Chiang Dao with an ex GF. Couldn't even rent it out for 1k baht a month. We ended up just abandoning it. I would suggest that anyone considering this offer should have some command of either Thai or better still, northern Thai.

All you naysayers - my 98 y.o. father, an 8 times decorated WWII pilot and fighter ace (he was born in Oz from UK folks, but he only flew USA made P40 Kittyhawks and PBY Catalinas) just absolutely loves his Holden/Chevrolet/Isuzu Colorado pickup truck (ute in Oz) and yes, he still has a licence and still drives daily with no glasses, unlike me ! As others on here have already referred to though, they were really just an Isuzu, with a Holden badge added on - made in Thailand, as all Holden/Chevy Colorado utes have been since 2001. Great vehicles. I personally love real 'old' Holdens (pre 1978) as they go for ever. I clocked 589,000 miles in a 1971 Kingswood, whilst in the army - it and I went almost everywhere. This decision by GM has just added $5 grand to every old mint condition Holden in Oz. I am about to buy a 1957 Holden (real nice though) for $30K AUD, (if the old guy accepts my bid). For you Americans - it looks like its' big brother the '57 Chev, tail fins and all. Little 138 c.i. six cyl motor, "three on the tree" gears, but slightly smaller body. It is for my half-Thai daughter, who turns ten on Wednesday. Hope she learns to drive one day .... (not like in Thailand though) !

Thai missus says Penang neua (if beef) but for me, it reminds me of the years I spent in the enlisted mens'/other ranks mess in the army. Precisely the reason I got my Commission as an Officer as soon as I possibly could ! Veterans will get this - as an Officer you have to tour the enlisted mess when on duty and any complaints from the men must be written down. One day the food was 1000 times less attractive than the Ops' photo, so I asked the cook what it was and, where he learned to cook it - his answer ? "Whilst doing a ten year stretch in prison." Says a lot. (He was a private caterer, the Oz army uses them now, rather than the UK system which has real (army) cooks. It is a cost-saving thing by the govt.)

Their genuine birth/family names are usually quite long, as the Op says, which can be a nuisance at the best of times. Another Op has dissected the example given quite well. A lot of it is indeed Chinese in origin in many cases. Anyway, the majority of Thais are thus given a 'nickname' at birth (or soon after) and are usually known by this name by their friends and family. Which explains why there are dozens of girls named "Nok" (bird), "Gai" (chicken), "Noi" or "Lek" (little or small) etc. I must have bonked a dozen girls named "Dang" (red) over the very many years I was single in LOS (and still had a prostate gland). In more recent years, as Mr Orton has said, it has become popular to use new or more modern topical words - my wife has a relative with a son named "Golf" who has dreams of being the next Tiger Woods. I once taught the twin daughters of a senior CM policeman and his Mia Noi (minor wife), who had the names "Bim" and "Bomb". My all-time favourite though was a girl by the name of "Beer" and, she liked a few too !

We (the missus) had our beautiful 2 storey air-con 4br 2bath with solid teak doors house on big land with lumyai (longan) orchard in Saraphi (built it 2008) on the market for nearly a year for 2.5 mill baht. It was built to cyclone/typhoon safety standards and had high grade electrics too. Had many Thai lookers, but most were just tyre-kickers who wanted to see how a farang lives, or dreamers who had no money and could never get a loan, as they were already in debt to their eyeballs. We ended up taking 1.53 mill cash in 2013, which was a bargain for the Chinese-Thai lady manager of Singha brewery CM who bought it. (We had to sell, as I needed urgent cancer treatment in Oz). We still made about 100k baht profit, but it hurt to let it go so cheap. The lady re-sold it 4 years later for 2.4 mill baht. I went to look at it last year whilst in CM - the new owner had sold off the orchard which was now 6 tiny townhouses and, had repainted it bright red with gold trim - it looked butt ugly, almost like a temple. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it seems. Best of luck with your sale and move south. Cheers !

Assuming he is still there (I left C Mai in 2013 after I got laryngeal cancer from breathing the same air pollution that is hurting you now, but then I breathed it for 25 years), I would strongly recommend Dr Tawatchai at Loi Kroh Road clinic. Speaks English near fluently and can treat just about anything. He is a govt doctor (head of a hospital), but runs his private clinic after 1700 hours daily. He was still there last year. Get there early - as he is very popular and very cheap ! After successfully diagnosing me with skin cancer, he removed it in his 'spare time' on a Sunday, surgically. (Sidelight) I once suggested that I put up the money for him to open a clinic in Australia and he just laughed and said "I can't go there - I have too many patients here already" ! He should get a Nobel Prize. I have seen him treat hill-tribe aids patients for free. He is my 'poster-boy' for the Hipocratic Oath. (Money don't come into it ...) Cheers mate !

Sorry folks but, after following this 'epic' saga, I just had to add this gem of info to the mix. In 2012, just after I had been diagnosed with cancer in C Mai, my totally useless married adulterous millionaire older brother (then age 64) told his wife that he was "heading off to LOS to help me". (UK/Oz/NZ/Canada please read '<deleted>'). Just after he arrived he walked out of his 5 star hotel and immediately fell for the charms of a friendly 'massage lady'. You can safely guess the rest. Quick bonk bareback and he was besotted. Single mum and sad story. Then he (a) did his best to avoid me (b) gave her lots of money AND the 'clap' and (c) did not help me at all, but instead bought her a brand new Honda 'Scoopy ? (or Honda something) that cost him over 90K baht ! He kept on banging her and sending her $K for some years after. Sound familiar ? We have ALL heard it before ...   

I know that road too. In 1994 I had to do a visa run C Mai to Laos, to just stamp a Non-0 in and out. The Myanmar border was closed at that time as Thai and Burma were boxing. I left CM at 0900 on a TT500 Honda and nearly came to grief at very high speed near there, when I came around a bend and saw a thin rope, slowly moving across the highway. Problem was as I hit the corner very fast a buffalo came out connected to the rope and walked across the highway ! Seconds later a second one came out - I bisected them beautifully, crossing the rope between them at high speed. Shocked, I looked back to see an equally shocked owner of the 'kwais' (yes it is kwai, but there were two of 'em) on the end of the rope. But for luck or fate I would have impacted one of those animals at around 120kph. I was 42, you don't have to be young to do silly stupid stuff. I slowed right down and, took another 12 hours to get to Nongkai. Now I'm 68.

ChipButty's comment reminded me of that old BBC show "Porridge" starring the late Ronnie Barker. His character 'Fletcher' is being examined by the prison doctor who asks "ever had crabs ?" - Fletcher replies "nah, don't like seafood". 

I can understand her 'alcohol' mistake, as the word "root" itself has another connotation in Australia - something LOS is well known for. As a teenager growing up in Oz, I could not wait to get my hands on a can of "root beer" after I saw it in a military store as a cadet, especially as I'd already tried normal beer, knew exactly what it did to girls and, it was available and cheap and I was only fourteen. Bitter disappointment when I found it it was just sarsaparilla.

It is kind of funny now reading this at 2200, with the rain falling gently and, breathing the 100% totally pure clean air at our little farm in northern NSW in Oz. Almost surreal. My Thai wife, washing the dishes ('cos she won't let me, as she says I don't do it properly) had just said "I hope you don't die for a long time - I am never going to be able to learn to drive (our daughter to school) - you already know how Thais drive". Seriously ! Then I showed her this prang on my laptop. She nodded and said "tumma-dar" there - (normal/usual). I drove through this crossing at least a hundred times on my way to Big C or Makro in the six years my wife and I lived in Saraphi after building our house, between 2008 and 2013. I lived in Changers for over twenty-five years, until I got laryngeal cancer from the foul air. Now in remission after radiation and with the Saraphi house sold,  we aren't ever going back, (at least according to the boss).  I never had a problem driving or motorcycling in LOS, but I saw the aftermath of at least a dozen really bad accidents at this same location, with so many cars written off, but never by trains, just by idiot locals, who couldn't drive to save themselves. Goodnight !

Me and my Thai family are now in Oz, permanently. Today's "Courier Mail" (QLD newspaper) listed the countries most at risk of this virus - LOS at number one, followed by all asian countries. We already have cases here, mostly Chinese tourists, but no one is dead here yet. Who knows how bad it is - are we really getting the truth ? 

You can laugh, this happened to me fifteen times in five years living in Saraphi, Chiang Mai, between 2008-2013. Our dog alerted each time to activity in the carport, under the pickup truck. First one was a common cobra, the next two were Malayan pit-vipers, - the Chinese call them the "seven steps snake", as that is about all you will take, before you drop dead ! Rest mostly common cobras, plus one 'spitter'. Nasty things. Klong out front was the culprit. Lots of frogs, their main food source. All were despatched by me, but nothing changes. We left Thailand permanently in 2013 after I got throat cancer from breathing the "air" in CM. After 3 months radiation (and hopefully cured), we established a small farm in Oz. We 'spell' racehorses and the missus grows Thai fruit and veg. Two weeks ago, picking coriander (paak chi) she yells out (in English, now good after 7 years in Oz) 'xxxxing snake'.  Me 'did it bite you' - her - 'I'm not xxxxdy stupid mate', - and then "go and get the camera, so we can show mum in C Mai" ! It was a king brown, well over twelve feet, or nearly 3.5 metres long. Quite majestic really. Just wish I knew how to put the photo on here. She's a keeper my missus - she was a locksmith in Thailand. Our 10 y.o. daughter loves horses, but hates snakes - horses don't like 'em much either - and, it is illegal to kill snakes in NSW Oz ! 

If it is any help, there is a small book called something like 'A Guide to Thai Law' (in English) which used to be available at both DK bookshop and Suriwong Book Centre at a cost of 250 baht (both shops are in CMai but may have branches elsewhere). The book covers all sorts of common subject matter and importantly, the statute fines for various offences.

Most of those fines were, not surprisingly, tiny by western standards. Can't find my copy or I'd look for you. However, I bought a hill-tribe crossbow in CMai for 150 baht some years ago and had a lot of fun with it. Suspect it is a grey area though. Cheers !

Gotta agree with you Captain Monday, less than a mile/1600 metres and poor viz, go elsewhere sounds good. I also learnt in a C 152 - great little aircraft and many commercial airline pilots (I was never one of those) started in them. For the record, that plane that crashed in Phuket was not TG - it was an MD 82 (a sort of DC 9?) belonging to the now defunct Orient Thai Airlines - a budget start-up, nothing to do with the national carrier. They bought 14 old MD82 aircraft from Japan Airlines and managed to get a few of them flying again. Whenever planes took off or landed at CNX from Hang Dong direction, they flew over my house in Saraphi and I saw these loud MD 82's daily. The plane that crashed in Phuket was being flown by an Indonesian pilot, who had already twice done a go-around, as the driving rain made viz terrible. He attempted a third landing, but at full speed and touched down halfway down the runway. No chance of stopping at all. It ran off the end of the runway and exploded in flames. The airport controller was not in attendance and many said that the airport should have been closed till the storm had ceased. A load of backpackers died. As for CNX smoke - on a Silk Air flight from Sing to CNX a few years ago in peak burning season I heard the pilot, who had an Aussie accent, announce "we will be landing at Chiang Mai airport in about ten minutes," and then, a pause and ever so quietly, (but heard by many on board) "if I can see it" ! Really (Jing Jing) ! 

In the twenty-five years odd that I lived in Thailand I have nothing but fond memories of Hua Lamphong station. Must have caught the Nakornping Special Express from here to C Mai at least forty times. I loved the old train with the "hole in the floor" toilet. (Exciting to use at speed). In second class (fans) the windows opened too and folks would sell you things at various stations - even cold beer ! A bygone era and the air was a hell of a lot cleaner then too.

Backwards and forwards CM to BKK by sleeper train in 2012, when doing the migration thing to bring the Mrs to Oz was not really the same, but we had a baby to look after. No shortage of things to buy or foods to eat in that station. Hope they don't just pull it down.   

Don't even consider Chiang Mai - and BKK is now almost as bad, as is everywhere in LOS. I have already said it on other forums so many times now. I lived in LOS for 25 years - the air just got worse and worse - locals in denial say "oh, it is only REALLY bad for 3 or 4 months" Air purifiers ? - utter rubbish ! Six years ago I moved my Thai wife and then 3 y.o. daughter to Oz to escape the foul air pollution in Thailand. My voice had gone funny, like a lady boy, but worse. Just after arrival I was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer (T1) from 'exposure to air pollution PM 2.5' and the Dr said I was his fourth "victim ha ha patient" ex LOS to present with the exact same thing ! Four months of more radiation than the Lord Mayor of Hiroshima got, saved me. I was in my fifties, very fit and never smoked in my life. If any of you reading this have children and you can afford to leave LOS - "GET OUT NOW". (The truth often hurts). Yesterday, after speaking with her family in LOS on skype, the Mrs turned to our 9 y.o. and said "Daddy saved your life (and hers) by getting us out of Thailand" (in English, as our daughter doesn't speak a word of Thai). She was so right. I loved what LOS used to be - but it is now a toxic time bomb. Who would have thought that thirty years ago ?