Aussiepeter

Missus is too afraid to learn to drive, although she was OK on a Honda Dream in C Mai. I have driven our 11 yo daughter to school and picked her up daily for seven years now. Been a breeze too, 'cos after surviving twenty-five years of LOS driving thrills we moved to Oz, seven years ago. Safe as Fort Knox to drive here, apart from maybe hitting the odd 'roo if driving at night. Saw more death and destruction over there in LOS on the roads, than I did in 30+ years in the Infantry. I have a photo album of unbelievable accident pics taken during my time in LOS. It never ceases to amaze anyone who views it. Just how do you flip over the trailer of an 18 wheeler upside down on a straight dry road, whilst keeping it connected to the prime mover which is still upright ? Some real skill involved to do that. 

Hi Barnabe - only a few years ago one young German backpacker lass in her early 20's died and another girl suffered horrendously, when they went for a swim, from memory at Samui. Chironex (sea-wasp) or box jellyfish stung both of them. Deadly creatures, well known down here in The great South Land of Oz. Unsafe to swim in the north here in rainy season. No warning signs in any international language in Thailand at the time. Probably still none either. LOS is all about $ and zilch about safety, so you are clever to ask. All you need is a layer of something to stop them. It does not need much. The stingers can get you on any unprotected skin. Rubber booties, a thin wetsuit or even just pantyhose will protect you ! Seriously ! I'd go for neoprene myself though. Don't forget your face - in 1972 I raced a young bloke to hospital on the Queensland Gold Coast, after he and I were surfing and he got severely stung across his face by "blue-bottles" or Portuguese Man-o-war jellyfish. Lastly, don't touch the tentacles either, without gloves ! Enjoy the ocean - I just hope you can find a bit of it in LOS that is not filthy and polluted. 

You can not educate pork. As Covid-19 destroys the worlds' economy, the missus' best friend - a former "Miss C. Mai" -  is posting hundreds of photos of her and her hubby (read Chinese-Thai and rich) touring LOS. He drives OK, but she is 'dodgy' on the road. Safe ? Hmmm. Ignorant of the Highway Code ? Hmmm. Why are you driving in third gear on the highway (says me) ? 'Only three in the car', says she. Use gear 4 when 4 in the car. Yeh, that's ok, says me. Strewth ! This woman has ha ha ha 'a degree in finance from C Mai Uni' and used to work for a bank ! Her husband sells fertiliser and they own at least ten houses in LOS. Unbelievably wealthy, BUT thick as, both of 'em ! They tried to show off their new BMW to me last year when I visited LOS, by taking me to a new restaurant in C Mai. They got there too early to get a "special show off that I am a f***ing VIP with a new Benz or BMW" parking spot (as the Burmese staff were not at work yet), so they made up some BS excuse to buy more time and then drove me around for the next hour, until they could park and get a "VIP" spot. The joke was on them. When we left much later in the night, theirs was the only BMW sedan in the entire 'VIP' area. Every other car - twenty-seven of them - were brand new Mercedes. They drove me straight through a red light, back to my hotel. When I asked (in Thai) about the red light, the answer was "nobody there, so it's OK to go straight through in LOS". "Mai pen lai. No problem". Unless, of course, you are a driver on a green light and approaching the same intersection on Hang Dong Road (a major crossroad) at 100 kph. I have a photo album with over 300 horrific pics of accidents I saw in the nearly 30 years I lived in LOS. I'm too old to handle "Thai driving" anymore. Scary stuff. REAL scary !

I think that a line from my all-time favourite movie, "The Magnificent Seven" covers this situation quite well. Calvera (the Mexican thief and outlaw) says to Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen "we have a saying here" (in Mexico) - "a thief who steals from a thief, is banned for a thousand years". Could be a bit of a worry in LOS, especially if you believe in reincarnation. Certainly, back in 1995 when I was dating a C Mai lass and her younger brother had just become a cop in Lamphun, she asked me if I could help him 'to get kitted out' as his first salary was only about 6 thousand baht a month. Oddly, they had put him straight into the murder investigation squad, but he had no gun. I was a serving army Officer at the time - it was only then that I realised what she meant by 'helping him get kitted-out'.

My post on this topic was deleted by the mods and perhaps rightly so, but for the record, I never had any intention to suggest any conspiracy about C-19 reporting in LOS. Quite the opposite. I speak to folks there very day - I think it is a non-event in LOS. My post was more about how safe the system here in Oz is going at the moment, but I do accept the mods decision, as my post could have been misconstrued. I was talking about the MIL being ill at age 70 in CM and having 5 vials of blood taken today. I have since managed to get Mrs P off the 'games on her mobile' and, she called her mum in C Mai. The MIL now says that she is just 'sick' from the cold season arriving early, but is otherwise very well. It turns out (and Sheryl especially will be interested in this) that the hospital (the big one at Mae Rim, I forget the name) took 5 vials of blood because the old girl  has survived for 27 years on Thai made retro-virals, as she has been HIV+ for that long ! She has NO symptoms of C-19 at all. They simply wanted to check "everything" which I can understand, at her age of 72. My own belief about C-19, given that I have a real Uni-degree with a major in Chemistry is that viruses, any viruses, can't survive in heat. Last time I looked, LOS wasn't cold. Ever. It just makes sense. I apologise again to the mods, who do a great job, under stress too.

As lujanit has said, I can assure you all on TV that (apart from Victoria which is run by an idiot) Oz has its sh*t together pretty much re C -19. I am in a small country town in Nthn NSW, about a hundred miles south of Brisbane. No virus here - but our friend's half Thai daughter age 8 got sent home from our daughters' school yesterday with a fever and a runny nose (not been out of town for 9 months) and has to get a Covid test and 'safe' result before being allowed to return to school. There has not been a case within hundreds of kms from here. No masks - no social distancing. Like another planet. A plane load of Aussies from London came into Oz yesterday from London, into lockdown for 14 days in Darwin. And yes, they are allowed to have alcohol ! Tried to tell the wife tonight about this headline, but all I got is "I'm not interested - that is Thailand - I'm never going back there" but yet she'd only just finished a long call from her very sick mum in Chiang Mai, who at a govt hospital today in CM had to give 5 vials of blood, to find out 'just what is wrong with her' ! Never happened before, she said. Aged 70, she lives near the airport, for those locals. Guess we will know soon.

I arrived in LOS in 1987 and read the Trink column from then right up until his services were terminated. I'm glad he made old age and he certainly could tell a story. Although I never lived in BKK, I tested a few of his theories (when I still had a prostate gland) without repercussions and whilst I did not agree with all of his writings, he was writing 'from the coal-face' as it were. He was certainly a character and his would have been a hard act to follow. The front page, his page, the Andy Capp cartoon and the crossword were the only reasons I bought the Bangkok Post, for a great many years. RIP Mr Trink.

Almost thirty years riding all manner of motorcycles in LOS, including a Kwaka 900 and a Yamaha Genesis. I put Michelins on all of them, plus several Honda Dreams belonging to Mrs P over the years. I admit that I am biased, - I put them on a brand new Triumph Daytona 500 in 1971 in Oz at the suggestion of a professional biker, after the original Dunlops wore out in weeks. We shipped the missus' 125 Dream here to Oz when we moved away from the Chiang Mai smoke pollution (and Thai driving) a couple of years ago. Put new Michelins in the spares box, plus a chain and sprockets etc. When I registered it a few months ago, I put the Michelins on. The bloke who passed it for rego in Oz said "why did you put them on - they are worth more than the bloody bike" ! He services the 'postal-bikes' (<deleted> Chinese-made single-seat copy of a Dream) and took ours for a spin. He said the Michelins made it "corner on rails". As someone else said - they are the most important part of the bike. 

My favourite aircraft too. Flew to LOS umpteen times over thirty years in 747's with Alitalia, Thai and even BA once. I was lucky enough to be the bod in charge of taking Australia's last 60 WW1 Gallipoli Veterans back to Turkey for Anzac Day 1990, in a QANTAS B747 when I was still in the military. One of the perks was that the Captain let me sit in the "jump" seat just behind him on take-off from Sydney. Absolute thrill. Never be allowed to do that these days. Several years ago I got a load of spare 747 windows and other aircraft bits 'dirt cheap' at an auction as one 'lot'. Still have about a dozen windows but so far, I've never really worked out what they could be re-purposed for. We have re-purposed a Lockheed Tristar seat tray though - it is in our bathroom. Always gets comments. 

Many thanks to 'DavisH' for the info on my work status - I did wonder for years just what the schools were doing about my paperwork - but whenever I asked, it was always "may pen rai" so, I didn't worry ! We left Thailand in 2012 and my wife says "we are never going back" and that's good, as there are not too many teaching jobs around for a 70 year old in LOS ! Good luck to all you young 'Ajarns' ! 

I taught English in Chiang Mai for many years until 2012. For the record, I never ever wanted to be a school teacher in LOS and I never ever needed the money, as I have a good pension and I invested wisely in the real world. A retired Army Officer, I taught several senior Army Officers in the current Thai hierarchy, when they were Officer-Cadets during my army years. Married to a Thai, university educated and well versed in all three dialects of Thai, namely Cum-Muang (northern dialect), Phaasa Lao (north-eastern dialect) and Phaasa Klang,  (central Thai) which is that taught in schools, I was (after my retirement from the army, or rather my wife was, when I moved here, if you get my drift) 'actively encouraged' to 'apply to be a primary school teacher', at a school owned by none other than a Generals' wife. After that, it was simple and I taught at several of the best schools in Chiang Mai, for several years. To the best of my knowledge, I never once had a work permit. Legally married to a Thai and thus 'allowed to work', it worried me for years - but the best was when a senior Thai Immigration Police Officer asked to see me, only to thank me for "teaching his twin daughters" to speak English. I love kids and have half-Thai daughters of my own. Only then did I get the plot. I had finally fitted in, perfectly. Or so it seems. TIT ! 

Go to Chang Puek gate, go straight on and then turn right at the main lights, onto the super-highway. Head towards Makro. Used to be a big place on the left, a few hundred metres down after you pass Lanna Hospital. Another place is turn left to San Kampaeng at the lights, just after you go past Makro. There used to be several places in the first or second sois on the right. A few of them only cater to one or two brands, while some want you to buy the entire front or back half of a car ! Mostly Jap import stuff. Some of them may have closed, as no customers during Covid. Good luck !

I had a Honda 550/4 that did this after a bloke took it to fit new tyres and crashed it. It was the steering head bearings. I replaced them and the problem was solved. Seems several were crushed a bit when the clown dropped it. Is this a new model ? I am not up on new Kwakkers, but the early two-stroke triples, especially the 500cc model, were known as 'widow-makers' as there were no gussets in the frame joints. They would develop "drunken camel syndrome' with no warning and cause the rider to drop it or even fall off. I seem to remember that it was more often at speed in a straight line though. Anyhow, they solved it by welding in extra gussets wherever the frame tubes joined together. As this is happening only when cornering, tyres or steering head bearings are my best guess. As others have said, get the mechanic to ride it, as it may be a common fault. Been all over Laos on small bikes and many roads are very average. 

I lived in LOS for years. After getting typhoid fever a third time, I asked the best GP I have ever attended (those in C Mai will know Loy Kroh clinic and, I hope he's still alive) "we get local bottled water delivered - do you think it's safe ?" to which he replied "over 75% of all bottled water sold in Thailand is unfit for human consumption." Next he said - "I sincerely hope you boil all of it" - to which I replied "I will be, from now on." He had no reason to lie, - at that time he was head of the biggest government hospital in C Mai - the clinic is/was his way of giving back to the community and, farang are welcome. Long queue, but dirt cheap. He said that "In C Mai, the bottled water companies have their own wells, but in rainy season the water table rises up and what happens is their 'safe' well is now getting ingress from the next-door neighbours' "bore-key" (septic tank), which is spilling into the water table. After learning this, we boiled all our home delivered water for the eight years we lived in Saraphi - you expats will all know the stuff that comes in re-fillable bottles in a crate. For ex-UK lads reading this - I am a big fan of "Minder" and "New Tricks" with both series starring Denis Waterman. Our water-delivery guys were forever totally 'smashed' on lao-cao' (moonshine) whenever they delivered our crates and, they reeked of it and tobacco. Which is why I nick-named the boss man "Denis" - it was always "Sawatdee Khun Denis" but, I suspect he didn't really get it. Wifey did. She translated it as "Denis," "the water man."

That sea cucumber they "touched' is in fact a very expensive and highly prized delicacy, adored by the Chinese. It sells for (believe it or not) $400 - $2000 USD per kilo, depending upon quality and species. They are known as 'Beche-de-mer' (worm of the sea) and have been heavily fished in Australia and exported to Asia for over a hundred years. Any Chinese tourist diver down-under would pounce on one, if he saw it. Doubt anyone would give a hoot, unless said diver was actively poaching dozens of them. I just wonder what the penalty would have been if those two divers had been, say, Chinese folks ? Anyway, I doubt the Thais are aware of the true $ value of sea cucumbers. Total overreaction by some pumped-up official to put these two behind bars. Like others have said, I hope that every diver on the planet hears about this. Diving is a very expensive sport and divers spend big bucks - just going to be more lost revenue that LOS can ill afford to lose.

For the uninitiated in building things in LOS, rebar is the Thai name for steel reinforcing rod. When I built our 2 story palace in Saraphi in 2008 the plans, approved and checked by a building inspector mate in Oz, specified 8 X 25mm (one inch for you American folks) rods to be included in each support pillar. They get regular earth quakes in Chiang Mai. When our lousy builder started, he had Burmese lads binding bundles of skinny 4mm rods together to make each 25mm rod ! Useless ! It would never withstand a storm, let alone an earthquake of say, level 6. He was made to stop and use the real stuff - which upset him greatly and damaged both his ego and his profit margin, which is precisely why if and when you ever build anything in LOS, you make sure that you (the farang) are on site each and every day to keep an eye on things. Fourteen years on, it it still the strongest home ever built in Saraphi. Only thing is, the 'Nai Amphur' now owns it, as we live in the real world these days. For those who like a laugh - when I was posted to Athens Greece in 1988, there was a high-rise building just around the corner from the Australian Embassy in Athens' main road, that was abandoned at the eighteenth floor, as the building had a design flaw and from the third floor up, each additional floor stuck out several metres on one end, just like that tower in Pisa. The thing is, they knew about it at level three, but no one would make a decision to stop, knock it down and start again ! At about level 18, the left end was almost touching the already occupied skyscraper next door - only THEN did someone pull the pin on construction. It is still there and looks like a wedding cake that has been dropped. Saw it twice a day for a year, but never took a photo. I swear it must be listing around 40 degrees ...

I lived in LOS for almost thirty years, with twenty-five of those in Chiang Mai. I assisted the Thai military for six years in the nineties, until I retired in 2000 and married my Thai wife. I have a university degree, but was never trained as a school teacher. After years of working with the Thai military I formed an opinion - "don't waste your time" because they were more interested in me speaking Thai (I speak all three dialects of Thai and can also read Thai) than them EVER learning ANY English at all. However, I did meet a UK educated Thai General who had a mutual dislike of a certain ex-Thai PM (now in exile in Dubai) so much so that he subsequently took early retirement, just to avoid conflict with that now ex-PM. When I first met that General in 1998 in Chiang Dao over lunch and complimented him on his excellent English, the General said to me quietly "my goodness man, what did you expect - I have a Masters Degree in English Literature, from Oxford."  No BS, as they say. Yes, I was shocked, but they are out there. (Some very educated Thais.) I subsequently found out he was not only a brilliant soldier and a great leader, he was also a very experienced army parachutist. He taught me that most Thais have little or no interest in speaking English, so "don't waste your time". Shortly after I married in 2000 and retired I was approached by another senior RTA Officer, whose sister owned a primary school that needed an English teacher. I was "actively encouraged" to put my hand up, as they say. I stayed there teaching A1 - K4 (Anubarn (Kindergarten 1) to grade 4 for three years. I loved it and the kids loved me, as they were all "muang" (district) kids and I can speak 'Phasaa Neua' (local language in C' Mai). I then spent two more years teaching at other schools in C' Mai. The common denominators were ALWAYS - lousy pay, long hours, no work permit, always treated poorly. I was on an Officers' pension from overseas and legally married to a Thai, with a legal visa and legally allowed to work. I did not need a job, I did not need the stress and, I most certainly did not need the pittance they paid me. I did it because I love children, all children, no other reason. I could have been on a bar stool all day had I so wished, for those five years. All of that was well BEFORE the current regime, who have quite clearly identified that "foreigners are not welcome" in LOS any more. Given that salaries for foreign English teachers have gone backwards in LOS over the last twenty years, just who in their right mind would ever even consider teaching English in Thailand ? 

Although not in the north-east, there was at least one Thai man who dared to paint a "Union Jack" on the roof of his house in Chiang Mai during the war, so as to avoid being bombed during air-raids that were expected to come from Allied forces based in Burma. It is well documented in Chiang Mai and it appears he was able to keep it a secret from the Japanese, who I am sure would have been less than impressed with such behaviour. I seem to recall another chap did the same thing in Bangkok. Although not on this topic - I wonder just how many folks who live in and around the north-east are aware that those really long concrete 'straights' that appear all over the place on random highways around Udon and Ubon are in fact old B52 emergency landing strips, left over from the Vietnam conflict. They have simply been re-purposed by the Thais as parts of roads. 

Several folks here have the right answer already. We used to live right near that intersection and the flash from the bike on the left is just the reflection of the street lights hitting the right angle on the rear-view mirror that half of Thailand 'removes', to make the bike look 'cool'. Had the 'flash in the mirror thing' happen to me many times in the past at the same location. Does startle you the first time. I recall they even changed the street lights to yellow ones at one time there, to cut out the 'flash' as others had been startled. I think being at 0200 this is more likely "Brahms and Liszt and no helmet" and one of the bods simply passed out and fell off. It doesn't take much to be fatal, as I posted previously I came out of school one day to go home, only to see a 16y.o. dead from the school with just his head popped like a watermelon on the main road. Helmet in the basket - brand new Honda Dream, almost undamaged. The co-incidence of just who the chap was is a whole different matter. 

I'd be surprised if Porsche actually marketed a car in such a butt ugly colour. It was probably resprayed in LOS as a grey import. In 1969 when I was 17 and the Vietnam War was raging, I traded in my first car, a 1956 (small rear window) VW for a one owner 1961 Porsche 356 coupe. James Dean had one, until he hit a tractor. Amazing what 4 cylinders and 1600cc could do and, in gunmetal silver it helped to pull girls, as I'm ugly. Mate lent me his Cooper 'S' when he went to Vietnam - loved driving it, but it was unreliable and leaked clutch fluid everywhere. My folks were poor, so I always bought 2nd/3rd/5th hand cars. This guy is lucky his folks are wealthy, but maybe he better get a few lessons. That flat six in the rear end set-up is very unforgiving for a novice. Perhaps that is why he was on his way to the go-cart track ? Sold the 356 to my dad, as I had fallen in love - with the Ford Falcon GTHO. I got a second-hand 1970 model - at the time the worlds' fastest four door production car. 160 mph. Amazingly, I survived with no accidents and only one speeding ticket. No trees either and I was just 20 years old. Petrol (or 'gas' for those US folks) was 20c a gallon, which was good as the tank took 36 imperial gallons ! About 9mpg when being gentle, but a lousy 4mpg when thumping it. Wish I'd kept it and, not sold it to marry the adulterous farang witch who was my first wife - those bloody cars are worth nearly a mil $ now, if you can even find one for sale. Come to think of it - both the VW and the 356 would bring big $ these days. My Thai missus says cars are just transport, nothing else. After seven years in Oz though, even she agrees that most Thais can't drive for ****. That prang in BKK was low speed, but a mate here nudged a high footpath with the front bumper on his new Boxster and the repair to the bumper was $5K - it is carbon fibre. No problem for Somchai tho' - mummy will get him another nicer, newer, faster car. Surely ?