My mother in law passed this year. Total cost a little under 100,000 baht. 5 days total. Donations and the village fund covered all the expenses. There was also a fund they paid 200 baht each time someone died. In all over 360,000 baht. The family is not rich by no means. I agree if you donate 30,000 baht you will probably have donated the most of everyone. Just make it clear to your wife your not supporting a crazy expensive funeral .