fredwiggy

Good advice as long as he takes care of the kids he's already made. A father is just that. Any idiot can make a baby. It takes a parent to raise them. Kids need two parents to grow up okay.Divorce doesn't mean the kids are left out. Even more so, they need support so they can know sometimes people can't be together, but you don't use the kids as pawns or belittle the other for your own ego. The kids are part of both, even though one, or both parents might be totally disturbed. It's best you leave advice up to those that actually care about their children, and don't see them as baggage.

Divorce is necessary when one is married to a cheater, drug addicted or abuser. You don't leave because they upset you in some small way. Only reason for divorce is abuse, neglect or infidelity. Doesn't matter if you're a Christian or not. Some things can't be tolerated.

Leopards can't change their spots, and she has proven what she is. Kids seeing this kind of lifestyle, where farangs are looked at as walking ATM's, is not good for them and is one reason I will take mine to the US to live. Girls, especially those that don't have a college degree here, don't do well. Generations have ingrained of how women are looked at here, and I will not have that for my daughter. It's hard enough to find a good man anywhere. Here, it's extremely hard, unless you want to be a farmer's wife. Nothing wrong with that if that's what you want, but farming is a very hard way of life, and not what I want for my daughter. There are, if you're intending to stay here because of your not completely stable job, many good looking, young women who would love to have a man take care of them. In my case, when my wife left with my daughter, for the 4th time, she had help from a man here who was after her for awhile, while he was married. He posted that she was his wife while we were still married, and this was known, by facebook to others, what she was doing. I treated her with more love, respect, generosity, romance and care than she ever saw before, or since, and she still says I'm her husband forever. This, after I have a gf of over two years and I live in the house here I has built. This "man" hits her, is a drunk and smells bad, (that told to me by my daughter also). He hasn't laid a hand on my daughter, as I've told him, and my ex, if he does he won't walk again. Being part of a "threesome", with this other man, is dangerous to you, and a child's worst enemy is usually a man that isn't her family, meaning a boyfriend or stepdad, of course this doesn't mean all boyfriends or stepdads. There are quite a few women here that get money from husbands that live overseas and they have Thai boyfriends here. Pretty scummy yes, but it happens, and no one wins except the boyfriend, because he will eventually leave her anyway. A lot don't care, because they have that cash to buy things to impress their "girlfriends" , and the gold for others to see. A condom won't protect you from some drunk, jealous local who's bent on having you disappear. Your best bet is to do anything you can to get the kids away from this drama, and if that means leaving this country, that's what you need to do. I would be very surprised if she fights you on this, as kids are looked at differently here than in America, and I'm sure France also. A small village in France around your family is a lot better than being here, with all of what could happen to you or those kids. You might like it here, but remember what those kids will be seeing as they grow up here. Thailand can be okay, if you do what it takes to live a peaceful life for you and your kids.

First time my gf and I saw this story on TV, I said to her, that mother's lying about the man with the yellow shirt. Then I saw pictures of the child with bruises on his face and I knew, from observation over many years in the US, that child was being abused. I told my gf that boy was already gone, and it's sad I was thinking right. I'm thinking she didn't want that child all along, and got rid of him, instead of finding someone else, like thousands here do, to take care of him. If it's murder, it's a life term. 9000 baht bail? So she can disappear?

He is entitled to visitation and half of the marital assets. I, and a few other farangs I know, pay child support because I (we) wanted to be in our children's lives. A lot just leave when divorce happens here , and go back to their own countries. Child support is not enforced here for Thai males, which is one reason they keep on making more girls pregnant. No responsibility. Rinse and repeat, generation to generation, and it's the courts failures. In America, if you don't pay from age 1 to 18, you go to jail, like my ex did when I took custody of our daughter. If that was enforced here, the population wouldn't be half as high as it is now, and kids would grow up a lot more secure.

Guess you think that being older makes you senile? Sounds of ignorance and prejudice, or maybe jealousy. If you can't make a helpful reply here, better to go elsewhere.

I made a reply to help him because I've gone through a divorce more than once, and gotten custody. He's an adult and can make his decision based on this and other sources, some of which ARE opinions and biased. Failure is how you learn to be better, unless you ARE a true narcissist that controls others and thinks their way is the only way. I'm an empath, which is the opposite of a narcissist, and if you would research before replying, you would understand what a narcissist is, and their habits. I got custody of my children because with me they would have a better life, not as revenge as others do. You must try and read up on a subject before you reply. I'm trying to help here. You are making an opinion to try and build your ego up, and it's not working. Looking at a lot of your posts, it's plain to see this. When a man reads up on subjects to understand women batter, how to raise children better, and how to live better, it's not narcissism but a caring for someone else besides myself. Every relationship comes with problems, and they only way to fix them is to understand the other side, and to communicate with that side to get to a place where both win. Not one in control and the other miserable.

Comes from reading 65 books and thousands of articles on marriage, understanding women, raising children, how morality is lacking, depression and treatments, narcissism, both covert and malignant, over the last 30 years from authors that were (are) counselors and psychiatrists. Gary Smalley, John Gray, Doctor Laura, Steve Harvey, Dr. Aaron T Beck, Gary Chapman, Harville Hendrix,John Gottman among many others.

Opinions mean nothing. Facts stand. I don't make opinions because they wouldn't matter. Researching always helps before you post. It is what it is.

A barstool philosopher is like a couch quarterback. Making opinions and not going by facts, with little to no experience in matters.A barstool philosopher is like a couch quarterback. Making opinions and not going by facts, with little to no experience in matters. A catch is a man who treats women like a man should, not a boy who uses them and leaves. Morals, and the lack of, are the reason for the world's problems, wouldn't you agree? The breakdown of families, narcissistic alpha males, and loose women who don't want to be moms to the kids they make, are the reason this world is going downhill so fast.

Actually a former bodybuilder that still looks in my 40's at 66, and have worked out for 45 years, weight training and training others until I moved here 5 years ago. Still going to the gym weekly. Not a barstool philosopher by any means.

A lot of women here leave once the boyfriend leaves and they give the kids to grandma to raise. Thailand leads the world in kids raised by grandparents and it's a big cause for problems for the kids later in life. Mine gave two away and will eventually, if not already, bet bored with my 6 year old, and I'll take her to the US for a much better life. She's a US citizen so it won't be a problem anyway. You should look into just going back to France with the kids, as it looks like she's more interested in the latest man than a family. Wanting her cake and eating it too sometimes isn't good for children. She's cheated so in my book she's out. Your 7 year old shouldn't be your best friend, nor at any age. You are the father, and have to be one. They need a father and not another friend. Like mentioned earlier, if you can prove infidelity, it will help with custody, and she might not fight it anyway. If a lawyer told you it's ok for her to be living with another man while she's still married, he's an idiot, find another. Staying with a woman that lies will only bring heartbreak for you, and teach the kids it's okay that mom does this. They need stability, not a lying, cheating, greedy mom. Raising a child is hard enough in a divorce. Sex is great with her, while she's having it with a Thai man, who is most likely having it elsewhere, which is dangerous to you, isn't an excuse to stay. There are millions of women everywhere that are faithful, and that would appreciate a good, working man. Get proof now what she's doing. When you go for custody, you'll need everything you can get because of the bias here. Think of what you'll be teaching your kids if you allow this to continue as they age.

Men rarely get custody here unless the wife doesn't want the kids. How many Thai men want custody? How many foreigners want custody? I've talked to 7 divorce attorneys before I used one, and they all said the same thing. One is a Canadian who has practiced here for over 15 years. My ex didn't work, had two kids she gave away at 9 and 10, and contributed nothing to the house . I get SS monthly, had custody of my other 4 kids in the US, and paid for everything. I'm 100% the better choice, but the judge didn't see it that way. He spoke good English, and said she was wrong for taking the child and absconding, and told her she did it again, she would go to jail, and our child has to stay in our area Like I mentioned earlier, if she did this in the US, she would lose all custody and be jailed. As for the latter reply, I gave him advice that it doesn't matter who you marry, or divorce, the kids should still be taken care of by the dad also. And if the dad is the better choice, as in my case, that's where the kids should end up, no matter how long it takes.

Kinda naive of you. And not an excuse by any means. There are police in the UK right? If my ex said that to me, I'd take the kids and go to the law and make a complaint, because that's a legitimate risk. The court sets up visitation anyway, so she wouldn't have a choice, and visitation is always given to parents if they want it, and the other parent has no say in the matter, unless the other parent is somehow a risk, which would need proof.

What problems did she give you, so we can understand why . And you can always be near your kids unless she kidnaps them, illegally, and hides them, as my ex here did until I filed for divorce and she was forced to bring my daughter back. Nothing was done to her, as parental kidnapping here doesn't exist, which is another reason things aren't right. If she took my daughter away for no reason, which she did, in the US, she would still be in jail and only allowed supervised visitation. Of course the judge, being biased, gave only joint custody, with her having her more days than I, and i pay support. Kids don't want money from dads, they want time, especially until they are teenagers, and they naturally push parents away and want cash.

Local laws sometimes hurt men or women. That's from ignorance and bias. A man isn't weak if he leaves a bad woman, nor if he pays child support. He has a choice to keep those kids in his life, and they need him. Divorcing a mentally ill woman is necessary, especially if it's a mental illness that is very hard or impossible to treat, and they don't care to help themselves. You don't divorce your kids.

Better to actually be a man, and take responsibility of the children you make, one of the main things wrong here and a huge reason kids grow up messed up is having no father around. If you don't want kids, have sex with birth control, simple. Your comment on Thai men walking away doesn't work. A boy walks away after sex and a child. A man stays and raises the kids made from it. What a person's past is what they've become. People don't really change what they are . By the time you reach 30, your personality and how you act is ingrained, and it takes a lot to change a person's character after then. A woman that has had many men doesn't look at any as special, and that's a big reason someone stays with another person for the long run. Everyone's looks fade, and only if you look at someone as a person and not a body to use, will you want to stay with that person, and them with you. Otherwise it's just a transaction without feelings, and that always gets old. People get bored with others for this reason exactly. They are boring themselves and need constant attention and entertainment and think money can buy others. It can, and that makes them a thing, a purchase, and not a human being. A woman , if she's not a lunatic, mentally ill or so hurt by her past that she can't open her heart, will treat a man well. Men don't do well when they get old by themselves. You can buy most anything in this life, including people, but that doesn't help you with loneliness. Ask yourself how you treated that Brit Christian Virgin Schoolteacher. Was it with love, respect, honor,and loyalty, and did you help raise the kids you made? Your attitude and opinions on women here and in the past shows me what probably happened.

Should have stayed in France with the kids, thinking they have France citizenship, but that means nothing now anyway. Marrying a prostitute will only get you this kind of story. I married a regular Thai national and it cost me enough heartache to last a long time, and the only way things will be right is when I bring my daughter to the US permanently. Land can't be owned by foreigners here so that's a dead issue. The house is usually in the wife's name but you can get part to half of it, if it can be sold, meaning not on government land. If it's on her land, as it seems to be, you can fight for anything built or bought after the marriage date. Proving you paid for things is needed, as a lawyer will need that to have a case for you. Receipts, money transfers before items were bought, anything from the builder in your name etc. There isn't a specific law for alimony here, but expect to pay child support unless you can get custody, which is extremely hard here, as the wife is favored. Joint custody is usually given, and you will be asked to pay monthly. I have that, and pay 5000 baht a month for one child. If you can prove adultery you might have a stronger case but judges here are still prejudiced against the men unless you have proof she's done something illegal around the child. It isn't like the US where I'm from, where men, including me, get custody if they can prove they are in a better place with you. She can say you gave the house, car, etc as gifts but you can still retract that and ask for a split. Best it seems you can hope for is joint custody, child support to her, and you rent close so you can be part of the kids lives. They are important, she isn't to you anymore. You are a lot better off than staying with that kind.

It seems that some still think America is anything other than a conglomeration of every country on earth, with the involvement being, besides yes,money, that the US helps others because of that reason. Every country has thousands living in the US, and it sticks its nose in because of many reasons, that being a big one. Why "bully" other countries if many of that country's people are living in the US? No country on earth could stand against the US if it put all of it's power against it. When some maniac decides on killing the people of his own country, the US gets involved, not all the time in some so far, but being that conglomeration of all, it actually is it's duty, seeing that we have the firepower to help. As far as "losing" in Vietnam, the casualties speak for themselves. 58K US soldiers lost, over a million North Vietnamese and VC . Sadly, over 2 million citizens lost their lives also. Politics and money made is a big reason for wars, and pulling out came too late for thousands of soldiers. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten involved, but lessons are learned, and some bad was dealt with. When some country's certain people decides to hurt the people of the US, the US responds by destroying them. A necessary evil. There are terrorists, and crazy leaders, in a lot of countries, and there is only one way to deal with them, extermination.

Been here over 6 years now and know around 10 foreigners I can call friends, a few good friends. This is in Sisaket province. When I was here a few years ago, I was at Tesco Lotus and said hi to a farang with his wife. He said hi back, and we had just started to say a couple words when his wife dragged him away with a scowl. Guess she didn't want him talking to anyone who might have negative things to say about living here, or that might give him ideas that might strengthen his relationship with other farangs. It isn't the only time this happened in some way.

Having raised 5 kids before I came to Thailand, and having one 6 year old now joint custody here (the others I had custody of in America yes, I know exactly what it takes to take care of children regarding finances, and living here over 6 years now, I know what it takes here. I teach English part time here ,and work with many schools, so I know what it takes here. If you are going to have children, you take on the responsibility of their needs. That doesn't include leaving them with grandma because your boyfriend here left, which happens thousands of times, and as far as the justice system here goes, they aren't held responsible. That means you stay home, get a job locally, and see that your child is taken care of by at least one parent. Grandparents here are a lot of the times too old, and illiterate, to properly take care of children, and when the kids get to around age 8, they are out riding scooters without helmets. Yes, I know about at least 5 personally just in my village. Then when they get to be teenagers, as one replied, they are smoking,drinking and doing drugs. The schools pass them even if they are failing, and that leaves them in the same place as their parent (s). You don't have to make a lot of money here to have a child in public school, and if you have the "help" of family for a little while during the day, you can work full time. That way, you are home every night, taking care of your child. No excuses. Thailand leads the world in the stats that over 35% are raised by grandparents. Even Laos and Vietnam are only around 3 to 6%.

Nothing of the sort. I just state things as they are. Opinions mean nothing.

Home, working locally, instead of spending her time in another country, child in school, going home to family until she comes home from work, if work lasted until after she was out of school. Going to another country, or city , as thousands do here, is an excuse to not want to take care of your kids, while they party it up elsewhere, and granny gets the job. Thailand leads the world in kids raised by grandparents. Not a good thing.