fredwiggy

Actually, in many studies, genetics play a small role in sexuality. Maybe up to 20% at most. It's also hormonal and environmental.

Like I mentioned before. She will not change. She wants to use the both of you and if she is having sex with him she look st you as nothing but extra cash. This kind is very dangerous and people here have died because of this mentality. If you built the house with your money, she can not kick you out. She can try, but if you can prove you paid for everything, you can stay in it. It might be in her name, but a judge will look at who paid for it. If she paid partial, you can settle for whatever works out to 50% and then divide everything bought after the marriage date. Audio tapes aren't going to do well in court. Receipts, or a signed,and better, notarized, statement from the builder, which I got, are proof that you paid. You should be looking at , in the future, to get the kids out of here. This country is not good for girls especially, and everyone knows it. Accepting her ways , giving in like that, shows she has you controlled, the last thing a man wants. You are not her slave, and neither is she yours. A relationship should have two people helping the other to be the best person they can be. One sided never works. She is cheating with you with a local. This can mean you might pick up a disease, as people who are promiscuous, especially in this country with it's high rate of STD'S, and if someone is having sex with a married woman, they are probably cheating on her as well. Let her be, and her and her boyfriend will self-destruct in time. You don't need to be there, nor do the kids. You aren't a victim unless you let yourself be one. This happens here a lot, and in the end, the woman ends up all alone. She might get part of the sale price of the house, but that is a good way to say goodbye. A lawyer can help, even though , yes, they don't care much for anything besides getting paid. You will get 50% of things bought after the marriage, and visitation. Then you can plan your leaving with the kids later. If she is like a lot of women here, especially my ex, they don't care for the kids except what money it will get them. When they get to be a burden, they leave them. I would also worry about this man being around my kids. Can't trust he's a good guy with his actions speaking volumes.

This is a family who travels the world and they (he) don't have the common sense to both leaving their things where monkeys will grab them, as they do most everywhere in Thailand, and bringing small children around animals that are well known to bite?

Had a few do the same, including the one I moved here to take care of. No guarantees in a relationship. All you can do is treat them right, and hope they were brought up with love and respect , and taught a man's worth. If they were neglected, as my ex here was, they grow up to be narcissists, and treat everyone badly, and only look to use. And they use good people, because an empath trusts easily. I always treat women right, and they sometimes take advantage of that. All depends on how you treat them, and how they were raised. Some who were raised badly, try to make up for that by being open and loving, hoping they will receive better than their own parents treated them. Many, if not most, can't escape the anger.

That's your choice, which comes from experience. Or you can pay for it. Or you can really love a woman right, and she will learn from time spent. No one starts out a pro.

Maybe there's a reason they're "boring"? Maybe a woman doesn't like to open up to a man that isn't treating her with love and respect and really listening to her when she talks. A man can have desire just by looking at a nice body. Women have that also, but need a connection to the man ,if she's normal, for her to open herself to having sex. I'm not talking about bar girls, where their desire is money above all. Would you rather have a woman that hasn't been around and is willing to learn, or someone who's had many partners, is skilled, and looks at you as just another body to do the act with? Research shows that two people can have fantastic sex if they are close emotionally. A dog can have sex with many partners and get nothing out of it. People should be above that.

Behave? Sounds like slavery, which isn't a good thing when it comes to mutual pleasure in love making. Porn degrades women, and sex is supposed to be mutually satisfying, not just a man getting his rocks off in an "object". Of course, that's calling them men, when all they are is a grown up boy in a man's body. You can take two people who have never had sex or heard anything about it, and they can have great sex if both look at the other's pleasure as a priority. Most everyone has looked at porn in their lives, but it does take away your desire for your partner if you compare them to other's who might be more attractive.

Been living here for over 5 years. When I first came here and applied for an account for my Social Security retirement, they told me I was unable to get an ATM card with my account because I was married then and they didn't give it to joint account holders. I understood why. After divorce, I got a new account in my name only, and tried to get an ATM card then. The one I was issued didn't work right after I got it at the branch, so they refunded me. I tried recently again and the teller said I can't get an ATM card for this account with my Social Security. Has anyone else has this trouble with Bangkok Bank? I know a few friends have cards with other banks but when I applied for SS I was told that Bangkok Bank was the only one that handled this. Misinformation, lies and ignorance of course runs rampant here. Five different people give you 5 different stories.

Karma always hits. Just takes some time. People usually cannot change, even if they want to, unless they see what their habits are doing to themselves and others and have a conscience. A woman that was brought up without a good father figure doesn't know how to relate to other men and usually will do what she sees being done around her. Here especially, more so than other countries, that means using for money, although that happens everywhere, in poorer countries it's a tactic that they think will give them a better life, or things. Make your plan, and when the time is right, and you see that she's no longer interested in the kids, especially as they get older and are more of a "burden", then you can leave with them. You mentioned that she is living with this man, but then now ,you stay with her. Meaning you're still "with" her, but in separate houses? That's okay,and better if the girls can be with you more. Her looks can get her a man, at least for awhile, until they see her for what she is, and leave themselves. Some will tolerate that behavior, as long as they can have the woman themselves, but Std's are rampant here, and playing Russian roulette with a bar girl isn't anything besides dangerous. If she continues with this lifestyle, it will end up with her all alone, as her past and fading looks won't attract anyone but the most desperate. Losing a house doesn't compare with giving children a better way of life, and girls here have an uphill battle from the start, with only a few ending up with a good man and lifestyle. Renting a house, and making a deal that you get the kids at least on weekends, paying some support, figuring in your wages, is fine for now. You don't have to give her anything more. Let her choices bring about her karma, and live your life in more peace. I came here for peace, and didn't get it, but I'll be getting it eventually. I know you have feelings, and lust for her, but you'll never find that peace staying with this type of woman. My ex is beautiful, but a covert narcissist that was damaged from childhood, and took that into her adult relationships and how she looks at kids. And narcs, although they are damaged themselves, never change.

Thanks, but it's going to take a lot of planning, visiting back home, and dealing with other people to make it work. Think of those kids, and do what you think is best for their futures. Don't worry about your wife. She obviously isn't thinking of you or what's best for the children, so let that be your guide.

That's the plan

When she came back, we went to court,visitation was granted, and she lives near me. The bf came into the picture mainly after the divorce, and his habits came to light soon after. I'll be here awhile until I can set things up back home. That will take a couple years to do, and my daughter will still be very young.I will not see her drive a scooter here, as that's a pet peeve of mine, seeing so many young kids dying because their parents, or grandparents, which is the case so often, let them drive scooters, without helmets, by the time they're 8. And I can get her in school back home, where education is not weak like it is here.

I didn't see you there. And God, if you believe in his laws, knows certain things can't be tolerated, like infidelity. It doesn't say anything about taking abuse, but to me, a woman, or man, should not stay with anyone if they are being taken advantage of and hurt.

Bf is Thai, I was married for 6 years until I filed, and daughter is 6.

Good advice as long as he takes care of the kids he's already made. A father is just that. Any idiot can make a baby. It takes a parent to raise them. Kids need two parents to grow up okay.Divorce doesn't mean the kids are left out. Even more so, they need support so they can know sometimes people can't be together, but you don't use the kids as pawns or belittle the other for your own ego. The kids are part of both, even though one, or both parents might be totally disturbed. It's best you leave advice up to those that actually care about their children, and don't see them as baggage.

Divorce is necessary when one is married to a cheater, drug addicted or abuser. You don't leave because they upset you in some small way. Only reason for divorce is abuse, neglect or infidelity. Doesn't matter if you're a Christian or not. Some things can't be tolerated.

Leopards can't change their spots, and she has proven what she is. Kids seeing this kind of lifestyle, where farangs are looked at as walking ATM's, is not good for them and is one reason I will take mine to the US to live. Girls, especially those that don't have a college degree here, don't do well. Generations have ingrained of how women are looked at here, and I will not have that for my daughter. It's hard enough to find a good man anywhere. Here, it's extremely hard, unless you want to be a farmer's wife. Nothing wrong with that if that's what you want, but farming is a very hard way of life, and not what I want for my daughter. There are, if you're intending to stay here because of your not completely stable job, many good looking, young women who would love to have a man take care of them. In my case, when my wife left with my daughter, for the 4th time, she had help from a man here who was after her for awhile, while he was married. He posted that she was his wife while we were still married, and this was known, by facebook to others, what she was doing. I treated her with more love, respect, generosity, romance and care than she ever saw before, or since, and she still says I'm her husband forever. This, after I have a gf of over two years and I live in the house here I has built. This "man" hits her, is a drunk and smells bad, (that told to me by my daughter also). He hasn't laid a hand on my daughter, as I've told him, and my ex, if he does he won't walk again. Being part of a "threesome", with this other man, is dangerous to you, and a child's worst enemy is usually a man that isn't her family, meaning a boyfriend or stepdad, of course this doesn't mean all boyfriends or stepdads. There are quite a few women here that get money from husbands that live overseas and they have Thai boyfriends here. Pretty scummy yes, but it happens, and no one wins except the boyfriend, because he will eventually leave her anyway. A lot don't care, because they have that cash to buy things to impress their "girlfriends" , and the gold for others to see. A condom won't protect you from some drunk, jealous local who's bent on having you disappear. Your best bet is to do anything you can to get the kids away from this drama, and if that means leaving this country, that's what you need to do. I would be very surprised if she fights you on this, as kids are looked at differently here than in America, and I'm sure France also. A small village in France around your family is a lot better than being here, with all of what could happen to you or those kids. You might like it here, but remember what those kids will be seeing as they grow up here. Thailand can be okay, if you do what it takes to live a peaceful life for you and your kids.

First time my gf and I saw this story on TV, I said to her, that mother's lying about the man with the yellow shirt. Then I saw pictures of the child with bruises on his face and I knew, from observation over many years in the US, that child was being abused. I told my gf that boy was already gone, and it's sad I was thinking right. I'm thinking she didn't want that child all along, and got rid of him, instead of finding someone else, like thousands here do, to take care of him. If it's murder, it's a life term. 9000 baht bail? So she can disappear?

He is entitled to visitation and half of the marital assets. I, and a few other farangs I know, pay child support because I (we) wanted to be in our children's lives. A lot just leave when divorce happens here , and go back to their own countries. Child support is not enforced here for Thai males, which is one reason they keep on making more girls pregnant. No responsibility. Rinse and repeat, generation to generation, and it's the courts failures. In America, if you don't pay from age 1 to 18, you go to jail, like my ex did when I took custody of our daughter. If that was enforced here, the population wouldn't be half as high as it is now, and kids would grow up a lot more secure.

Guess you think that being older makes you senile? Sounds of ignorance and prejudice, or maybe jealousy. If you can't make a helpful reply here, better to go elsewhere.

I made a reply to help him because I've gone through a divorce more than once, and gotten custody. He's an adult and can make his decision based on this and other sources, some of which ARE opinions and biased. Failure is how you learn to be better, unless you ARE a true narcissist that controls others and thinks their way is the only way. I'm an empath, which is the opposite of a narcissist, and if you would research before replying, you would understand what a narcissist is, and their habits. I got custody of my children because with me they would have a better life, not as revenge as others do. You must try and read up on a subject before you reply. I'm trying to help here. You are making an opinion to try and build your ego up, and it's not working. Looking at a lot of your posts, it's plain to see this. When a man reads up on subjects to understand women batter, how to raise children better, and how to live better, it's not narcissism but a caring for someone else besides myself. Every relationship comes with problems, and they only way to fix them is to understand the other side, and to communicate with that side to get to a place where both win. Not one in control and the other miserable.

Comes from reading 65 books and thousands of articles on marriage, understanding women, raising children, how morality is lacking, depression and treatments, narcissism, both covert and malignant, over the last 30 years from authors that were (are) counselors and psychiatrists. Gary Smalley, John Gray, Doctor Laura, Steve Harvey, Dr. Aaron T Beck, Gary Chapman, Harville Hendrix,John Gottman among many others.

Opinions mean nothing. Facts stand. I don't make opinions because they wouldn't matter. Researching always helps before you post. It is what it is.

A barstool philosopher is like a couch quarterback. Making opinions and not going by facts, with little to no experience in matters.A barstool philosopher is like a couch quarterback. Making opinions and not going by facts, with little to no experience in matters. A catch is a man who treats women like a man should, not a boy who uses them and leaves. Morals, and the lack of, are the reason for the world's problems, wouldn't you agree? The breakdown of families, narcissistic alpha males, and loose women who don't want to be moms to the kids they make, are the reason this world is going downhill so fast.