It's 'quiet' this time too, because neither side wants to seem 'weak'. A whole lot of rumors and denials. Funny you should mention families - one of the routine Palestinian (well, Gazan) complaints this time is that Hamas leaders smuggled their families out of the Gaza Strip beforehand. I have no idea if this is 100% true, but it's a fact that some are/were living with families abroad.
Sinwar is one of the two main people behind the attack. The other being Deif.
And to add extra spice - a year or two back he was almost voted out as being too 'soft' vs. Israel. I don't know if the plan was already in the works, and the 'softness' (everything is relative, eh?) was part of it, or whether political pressure within helped push this along.
Yes, there's a lot of that too. I think mostly for public consumption. In effect, intel should know who's who, and who matters.