GammaGlobulin

6 minutes ago, Nojohndoe said:

So your declared emotional state remains singularly personal as in romantic adulation from afar with no reciprocal confirmation?

One can only wonder about reciprocity in almost all cases of love, maybe.

And, perhaps in this case, it might be more a matter of symbiosis.

I would also like to say that one of the main reasons I appreciate reading this forum, and TV forums in general, is that there are some very smart people on TV. No need to pat yourselves on the back, or crow about it, I guess.

However, it is very true that this forum produces much information and advice which can inform us all about important topics of interest to people who live in Thailand, like no other site on the face of this Earth.

Just from reading this topic, I have learned the necessity of toning down my expressions of love, and curbing my enthusiasm, a bit.

There is much good advice on this topic from a few knowledgeable experienced posters, as I know.

I will adjust my approach, having been guided by the posters on this topic, and I will definitely heed the advice I have read.

Still, as I think you know, it is possible to feel deep love for those people who are close to us, and those who help us.  And sometimes, the boundaries of love become fuzzy.  When this happens, one must rethink one's approach, in order to avoid disharmony or, even, disaster.

TV is second to none as a forum for interesting and crucial advice for those living in Thailand.

Too many smart people on TV, as many of us have known for years.

Good Topic.

Good Forum.

Stay Safe to Live another Day.

8 minutes ago, Nojohndoe said:

But  do you  love her?

I am not discussing an imaginary person, here.

In reply to your question:  Yes, I do.  However, I would never overstep clear boundaries. To do so, would not be an expression of true love.

31 minutes ago, Rookiescot said:

If you are sniffing around a woman who you know is already involved with someone else then you deserve all that's coming your way.

And believe me it will be coming your way.

 

"Sniffing Around" is definitely the wrong term in this case.

Instead, think of pure love, the purest love in a Tale of Two Cities, or several other literary examples.

My love is mostly a matter of gratitude and appreciation, not to mention respect.

Even in my wildest imagination, I would never overstep boundaries.

Love can take many forms.

Selfish love is not love.

If you wish a good definition of love, then you might read a chapter dealing with this topic of Love, in the book by Covey: "The 7 Habits"

You can easily read the translated version of this book in passa Thai.

I am NOT necessarily recommending this book to anyone, although if you want to know more about the various classifications of LOVE, then there is a good chapter in this book.  In other words, true love does not require constant hits of dopamine, if you get the drift of what he is telling us.

(Or, re-read "Don Quixote", or read both books.)

W. Somerset Maugham is one of my favorite authors.

All I can tell you is that chaste love from afar can provide a huge hit of dopamine, anytime one lays eyes on her.

I am committed to being single, a lifestyle which I have adhered to for many years, simply because I find it suits me and is far less stressful.

Celibacy is a blessing, and love is pain, when one loves too much.

I dearly hope that I will be able to enjoy my chaste and platonic relationship with my beloved for many years to come, maybe even unto my grave, or my prefered method of cremation.

Perhaps, by then, she might keep my ashes in a locket.

The future, as we know, is so difficult to predict.

Paramount, in a relationship such as this, is to always be careful to never cross the boundaries of proper decorum and moral rectitude.

It has been said, by many, that a man and a woman can never enjoy a platonic friendship, for long.  This is untrue.

Such a relationship, longterm, is admittedly rare, yet definitely possible.

One must maintain the illusion that the older man is the father, or the grandfather, and the object of one's love is the daughter, a daughter that one respects above all.

Never overstep.

And things will proceed swimmingly. 

Note: Regarding any love notes, all messages should be couched in terms of a loving father's respect and love for a wonderful daughter.

1 hour ago, nkg said:

Is she any good at word games?

She is, as I have stated above, extremely intelligent and intuitive.

Word games is not a problem for her.

Innuendo is not above her, in any way.

Fortunately, when I am not moving fast enough, she refers to me as Khun Boo.

This is fortunate in that her referring to me in this way allows me to express my feelings of love in a non-threatening way.

The message still gets across, but no harm done.

I can live with this.

One must constantly remind oneself that an adulterous affair is absolutely never worth the huge amount of stress that accompanies such foolishness.

Loving is Ok, however.

Always act according to one's moral precepts, and remain calm and collected.

It is acceptable to gaze upon the object of one's love and desire, I think.

17 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Yes you can ( and that applies to both sentences ).

 

Anyway, how can you leave her when you ain't with her?

 

If, many years in the future, you should happen upon her again, you'll wonder why you loved her. That too, happened to me, when I met my once upon a time idyll.

Love, is a fleeting thing.

 

Correct.

And, this is important.

I am not with her.

Key point.

In addition, it is not morally right that I should ever be with her.

This does not preclude my feelings of love, chaste love, for my darling and beautiful, and so kind friend who is much more than a friend to me, in my own mind.

23 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I am a bit confused with this sentence. 

Did he fight in the trenches and commit acts of bravery in order to commit acts pf adultery upon his return., If so your GM was a heck of a horny fellow. 

or

was he ordered to commit acts of adultery upon his return as a  part of the war  effort?  

a. He did not fight in the trenches. He only acted as a medic trying to save the lives of those who were dying after they went over the top to face the horror.

b. Although he did not carry a gun, apparently, his acts of gallantry were enough to win him the Croix de Guerre. The Croix de Guerre was not passed out like jelly beans to anyone who asked for one. Also, he received the medal which was normally only given to French soldiers, and not to non-French.

c. It is possible, as you say, that, after the award, and after suffering PTSD, which stayed with him for the remaining years of his life, he soon fell in love with a married

woman, probably a welcome respite after dodging so many bullets and bombs. 

d. Concerning how many girls he met in France, there is no record. But, you can read Remarque's book in German, if you want.

e. One interesting hypothesis is that World War One was a great divide between civilised culture, pre-WW1, and rampant barbarianism which followed soon after the great war.

f.  After serving as a medic in the trenches in France, grandfather became an orthopedic surgeon.  Maybe he missed the blood and guts of war, too much. 

g. War crushes and destroys men.

h. We should all be pacifists.

14 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

If that were true, the "substantial inheritance" would not even be mentioned.

 

you still havnt said how she feels ? Or is it that you dont actually know ? and all this is just something you have convinced yourself of, based on a rose tinted observation and perhaps a polite smile from her and your fertile imagination has run riot.

a.  As you know, I do suffer from a vivid imagination.

b.  I do not know how she feels.

c.  She is very polite, and this is one of her many strong points which first attracted me to her.

d. More importantly, the moral imperative should be to do no harm, and only try to do good.

e. Happiness can only come from doing what one knows is right.

e2.  Why?  Cognitive Dissonance.  If one acts in ways which are incongruent with the ways one believes one should act, then this causes cognitive dissonance, which, in turn, leads to great stress and unhappiness.

e3.  Most people misunderstand the term "cognitive dissonance", and often misuse this term. In fact, the term originally referred to believing and acting in opposing ways, which causes stress.  If everybody would read more Festinger, then fewer might engage in adultery. 

f.  And so, in order to remain more congruent in my beliefs and actions, if I wish to reduce stress, then I should give up my writing of Love Notes to the woman I love.

Thank you!

14 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Dorsnt say how she feels, takes two to Tango.

If she is not intetested, game over really and you are left in fantasyland.

"B" does not paint her at all like your OP and above more like a materialistic gold digger.

Yes, you are correct.

Although she is definitely not a gold digger, by any means, yet one can hardly expect that most women do not dream of meeting a prince charming, one with charisma, good looks, and money.

Still, the woman I mentioned, above, is one of the few who can settle for less, and yet remain thankful for what she has received. And this is a rare quality which I both love and appreciate.

(I am definitely not speaking of a "fictional" woman, here.)

22 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

You havnt said if she knows, and how she feels ?

 

a.  She knows.

b.  She feels, one might guess, that it would be better if I were younger, more handsome, and if I were expecting a substantial inheritance.

c.  She is such a lovely and kind person.

d. I cannot live without her.  (I mean that I can live without her; it is only that I would not wish to live without her.)

Maybe, non-monogamous cultures are better?

We are not monogamous beings.

So, why try to force a square peg into a round hole?

Seemingly, many cultures around the world are becoming ever less monogamous, year by year.

Marriage is far less sacrosanct than it once was.

And so, if someone might love someone, then this is a good thing.

Strangely enough, my grandfather received the Croix de Guerre for acts of bravery during the Great War, in the trenches, before returning, in order to commit acts of adultery.

My grandfather was a medic who saved many lives; hence the medal.

Maybe adultery was just his way of blowing off steam after returning from France.

Or, maybe adultery runs in my family.

7 hours ago, StreetCowboy said:

I dread to think what my neighbours say about me

Better to attend Trinity in Dublin than to get a Tattoo in Thailand.  It's just a matter of choices.

NPR?

NPR? NPR is only a shadow of its former self.

No one listens to NPR, these days.

NPR has become irrelevant and obsolete.

(Funding has dried up. Handcuffs are on.) 

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I was only referring to the number of posts you make, not to the content.

However, as I have your attention, run, run as far from her as you can. You will only make yourself miserable by remaining in a situation where you are constantly reminded of her. I know- been there done that, got the T shirt.

In my case it was resolved when she moved far away. I felt a whole lot better soon as she left.

I cannot leave her.

And, I cannot think of a reason why I should.

27 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

This is a song about wanting someone else wife. Thus the title. 

 

Someone Else's Wife

The Go Betweens

 

Can't find my way down my own street,
Got to get my dream feet back on its feet.
I'm trapped in my house
On first name terms with its mouse.
Don't say this house is a shack.
We had it once, can I get it back?
It's a fine line between love and despair;
Do you know the times I've waited on your stair?
Don't say you've got a home and new life,
I won't stand in your way 'cause
You're someone else's wife.

I'm trying to set things straight
But I can't see straight.
I'm gonna drive if it takes me years,
Gotta learn to live with fear.
Don t say this house is a shack.
Lightning hit it so I struck back.
It's a fine line between love and despair;
Do you know the times I've waited on your stair?
Don't say you've got a home and new life,
I won't stand in your way 'cause
You're someone else's wife.

Don't say this house is a shack.
Thunder cracked so I cracked back.
It's a fine line between love and despair;
Do you know the times I've waited on your stair?
Don't say you've got a home and new life,
I won't stand in your way 'cause
You're someone else's wife.

“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger;
But, O, what damned minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!”

(Obviously, Shakespeare. Probably Othello.)

24 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

No. Gamma is just bored IMO, but if not for his entertaining posts there would be little to comment on anymore, as the supply of interesting posts seems to be going through a low phase on the Pub, especially as the chief entertainer seems to have gone AWOL.

Thank you.  But, in this case, you are mistaken.  I am writing from the heart. No Joke.

Note:  When I say that I am in love, I mean...TRULY in Love.

The Taxi Driver doesn't even exist, in any Land, even NYC...

"On the edge of madness"

27 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

A bit off subject but when playing a competitive game, when you hit the ball, do you try to get out of your opponents way? do you stand your ground and block? Or can you aggressively block them? 

 

I played a bit in college and loved it and then played once w/my dad and he was an animal... he seemed to think that it was a contact sport. I could have flattened him but it didn't seem right... 

 

He continued playing w/a couple of fiends into his 60s and would come home beaten abt the face and bloody. He eventually had a hockey helmet fitted for his squash game... 

There is always the danger, in squash, of getting hit in the eye with the squash ball.

In order to avoid this, some wear protective eyewear which is not entirely protective.

Here is an article up your alley, for the game of squash:

SQUASH: THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME? (Vanity Fair)...

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2008/10/squash-the-most-dangerous-game

Don't play squash if you might be disposed to heart failure.

Also, don't go to Elite Schools if you are shy of competition.

Best regards,

Gamma