parallaxtech

You apparently have a lot of frustration and rage, so I would suggest a psychiatrist, not a gynecologist.

1. State your issues clearly, don't ramble on with gibberish.

2. Remember we are trying to help the op, not criticize me, so come up with original ideas if you have one.

3. Methinks you married a bg, so good luck, and keep the emergency number on speed dial.

Good luck with your rantings. I'm sure a lovely woman would enjoy your company!

Thanks for all the interest in me and my wife even though it doesn't pertain to the original op.

No, several of my friends charge their wives/girlfriends rent. I own the house, but feel she should do something for this free ride. Do you believe that women should not cook, clean, and do laundry??? If so it sounds like you got a bad deal. I believe in everybody working legitimately for a living in one form or another. As my father always said, "Nobody owes you a living." And please don't criticize my dead father, as he can't post a response. So work and contribute or hit the road! Besides, she is more than happy to do her part. I offered to hire a maid, as I like a house as clean as a surgical suite, but she refused.

As far as age, I actually sometimes feel she is too old for me, and sometimes remind her of this. All my previous mates were much younger (see previous posts). I even sometimes call her "Ma." At least three girls between the ages of 18-25 have come over to the house just to talk with me and she has chased them off. Plus, several young women in her restaurant have approached me on their day off while the wife was at work. So, no, I'm not concerned, just confident I could replace her in a short amount of time with an even younger woman. Whether she would measure up is another story. Right now I am very happy with this wife/lover/best friend.

In Thailand, the US, and most of the western world, a wife is entitled to 50% of all assets obtained during, not before, the marriage (non-marital property). Ask any lawyer or go to http://www.divorcesupport.about.com As a further measure, it is in a Thai company name that she knows nothing about. Plus, we had a Thai marriage (monks, no paperwork). If I ever do a proper marriage there will be a prenup. So, even if I married her, she would have no claim to the property. Tip #11 Never marry unless you plan on having children and then only do it with a prenup.

Does anybody have an original idea???

Raining today so have plenty of time on the internet...

Point 8. One: I am a retired gynecologist who worked in FS as a health officer, so I would be happy to check these "virgins" for a hymen. Someone once told me that a Thai virgin is someone who hasn't slept with a farang, just 5,000 Thais. If a woman used this line on me, I would say, "Let me or any gynecologist examine you and if true, I will marry you immediately. "All generalities are false including this one." Thoreau So, I guess, it is possible, just highly unlikely.

Point 9. She should have a proper and legal job; otherwise, you will be footing all the bills. What is contradictory?

Point 10. Is not ridiculous, but Thai Law. Sure she can show you a fake id, as nothing is 100%. If you have your doubts, walk away. I added this because a friend of mine was just scammed by a bg who showed him an id indicating she was 18, but was actually 14. He ended up paying big money. Some farangs still think you can sleep with girls under 18, so do at your own peril.

Again, don't mind criticism, just please add an original idea. Have one?

Mark: Sorry, forgot to answer your question about an escort ever becoming someone you can invest your emotions in and live happily ever after. Short answer: no! Another long-winded story condensed -- I lived with a Russian girl for three months before I learned that she was a former prostitute and was beginning to ply her trades once more. After I through her out of the house, I buried myself in research on the mind of a prostitute. Many have done their PhDs on this subject, beleive it or not. I am not a psychiatrist, but the bottom line is that a switch is clicked in their mind that a man is only a money source pure and simple, and just because you marry her won't change her depiction of you. Do yourself a favor and go down to a bookstore and read Private Dancer or any of the other books on the subject. You will meet many here who will defend their thought processes in choosing a bg as a wive, but if you have something worthwhile, there is no need to defend your reasons for choosing it.

Mark: No, before my wife, I lived with a 23-yr-old for six months (again, no money), before I left her for my present wife, so it's not a fluke. Are you saying that a woman can only love a man who is within ten years of her own age? I know over ten couples here on Samui with an age difference of 20+ years and they are doing fine. My best friend is 33 yrs older than his wife and they have been together for three years (she gets only a salary for working in his restaurant). The next time you walk around Tesco just look at the Thai/farang couples (not the ones with rentals). My mate in the Caymans was 18 when I met her and we were together for three years. Any other couples out there with a 20+ age difference??? A smart Thai once told me,"If you want to know if a woman likes you, don't give her any money. If she leaves then you know what she liked. Now, if you want to know if a woman loves you, she will offer you her money." My wife got her 12k bonus last Christmas and when I asked her what she was going to buy, said, "a present for you."

To clarify, my wife makes 12k/mos, so that is basically her money to spend on herself and family (no rent or food costs). She cooks, cleans, and takes care of the house in lieu of paying me rent. I have 1 rai of gardens so on her day off she sometimes toils in the heat tending to it. If she does I pay her the same wage as any other gardener (800b for 8 hrs, which she sometimes refuses). Every Christmas I give out cash or presents to anyone who has provided a good service to me over the past year. I typically give her 1B of gold (12-15K), so it's not like I keep her in rags and begging for scraps. It's just that I've met my share of devils over the years , so it is imperative that I know my mate's motives. If she were after money, she would have been long gone by now. Before her I believed most women were looking only for money, but I have happily proved myself wrong. My house and land were purchased before we married, so she has no claim on that, either, for those who might think she is after the property.

So, no, I didn't win the lottery. I did my due diligence and still help others to find the same. If they were easy to get, we would all have one. That's why you see so many with losers and other parasites - they are everywhere and easy to grab.

Anymore criticism or does someone have a tip for those who are looking for the right partner?

Communication Glitch: The op and I were trying to find a good Thai woman on Samui. She doesn't have to be born and raised here. My wife lived here for several years before I met her. Out of about 1,000 women I have met here, 3 were born here. So, nobody is trying to find a girl who was born here (or on the moon) for that matter. Any ideas you can offer the op on finding a proper mate here or do you now wish to criticize my wife's cooking?

BM: I will try to answer your questions. The op is trying to find a non-bg, so he wants to verify what she is. If she admits she is from the GM, bye-bye. If she lies It will be easy to verify where she works. If you were a gigolo would you admit it to a prospective mate? Ever see Pretty Woman? Many are looking for Richard Gere, not just a quick 1k and have come to realize that blurting out they are a bg kills their chances. My wife works 50+ hours a week and I don't work. I speak Thai and still spend hours each day talking to Thai women as well as helping friends to find nice women. I said in previous op that I went to the bar scene years ago, but try now to avoid it at all costs. I sometimes escort visitors through the GM just to show them what a zoo it is. So, no, I'd rather visit a local prison than the GM.

Do you have any ideas on how to find a "decent" wife/mate on Samui?

Mark: Good post and I will try to anwer your questions. If you live in a foreign country for a number of years (3+), the very least you can do is learn the language to a conversational level. What would you think of a Thai woman who lived in England for three years who only spoke Thai? The op is (was) trying to find a woman outside of the sex trade. The average "proper" woman in Koh Samui speaks ONLY Thai. Hence, if you want to search in that group the more you know the language the better your chances. If you put little effort into learning the language, most likely you will put little effort into finding a nice woman. The more work the better chance of reward.

Now, how did I come to these conclusions (to answer your requests)?: I was an Army brat and we were stationed in ten countries by the time I was 17. I went to university in the US and England. I then went to work for the Foreign Service, where I was posted to ten different countries (mostly Central and South America), but also lived in ten others for at least 3-6 months. I have lived on Koh Samui since 2004, but also have homes in the Cayman Islands and Florida. I have been a bachelor all my life and made a science out of my pursuit for women. When I first came to Samui, I frequented the bar scene, but quickly realized that this was not worth my time. I then read every book I could find on Thai girls and talked with at least thirty men who were married to different types of Thai women. At the same time I was taking courses in Thai (speaking,reading, and writing). Since I was retired, I spent all my waking hours approaching women everywhere outside of the bar scene not only in Samui, but all areas of Thailand. And the proof is in the Thai pudding: My lovely Thai wife (from Ubon) is 31, a chef, and the loveliest woman (inside and out) that I have ever met. We have been married for two years and money has never entered the conversation (own my own house and buy most of the food) . I mention our age difference (I am 55.) because many men here had advised me to only marry a woman within ten years of my own age, brcause anyone younger would only be after the money. Anyway, she learned some English (25%) and my Thai has improved to 50%. So many men have asked me where I found her that I continue to advise them how to find the same thing. This is why I presented my ten ideas to the op, which he thanked me for (read previous post).

It's ok to chastise or attack me or my opinions, but try to offer something tangible to the op. Any idiot can criticize, but only a reasoning man can offer a viable solution.

4. If a woman speaks good English, ask her where she learned it (possible hooker).

Actually some points of that list belong to the common sense ABC of "How to date". Isn't it? Other points like 4) are ridiculous or do you expect a hooker to say : I speak good English, because I had a lot of customers, with whom I slept.

In response...

The answer I expect to hear is that they learned English in university, at a bank or hotel, or lived in a western country. BG English is very different from the version spoken by educated Thais. However, bgs are getting very coy these days. If you meet them away from the bars they sometimes say that they work in a hotel or bank. I then say that I will pick them up from work tomorrow. Since deception is one of their skills, it's imporant to be able to see through it.

I feel it is better to find a Thai woman who speaks only Thai, which will force the farang to learn it. The reason I compiled this list is that I am constantly asked how I found such a lovely young wife (24 yrs less) who never asks for money. It might seem like a simple ABC list to some, but it worked for me, while others were frustrated with their bad choices of women. The woman you live with is a reflection of how you view yourself. And a man should put as much care in finding one as he would in searching for a new business venture.

I have lived in thirty countries and have lived on Koh Samui for five years. My wife is a lovely, educated, and talented chef, who is one of the most wonderful women I have ever met anywhere. So, let me give you my two baht's worth of advice on finding a "decent" woman:

1. Don't look in bars, massage parlours, or discos. Many will tell you they found a lovely partner in a bar, but they would probably also find a suitable mate on death row.

2. Look in shopping malls, beaches, banks, and other offices.

3. Always carry a "Beginner's Thai" book and ask any potential prospect for assistance with learning Thai.

4. If a woman speaks good English, ask her where she learned it (possible hooker).

5. If she asks you financial questions within the first week or suggests you buy her something, walk away.

6. You will need a minimum of three months here to search.

7. If she is living with her family, expect to jump many hurdles. It's much easier to date a woman who has family in another province.

8. Don't fall for the line, "Must marry me before sex." The only virgin here is an ugly ten-year-old.

9. Make sure she has a job making at least 8,000THB/month so the only support she will need from you is food and housing. Don't get involved with any financial support for her or her family or buffalo.

10. Make sure she is at least 18 -- check id if not sure.

Good luck!

I wrote previously about the problems encountered at Samui Immigration whilst renewing my non-imm visa. I hoped that things would have changed as I went there this week for my renewal, but they were actually slightly worse. Once again I was taken into a separate room and left there for one hour. I had my 800K bank book with letter from the manager as verification with me. This time they asked to see not only my other bank accounts but also verifications from each bank. I had to drive to the other banks and get these letters (200B each). When I returned they asked for a picture of my house at which point I said, "I refuse to drive all the way back to Chaweng to take a picture of my house." They then made me sign several forms in Thai and took several pictures of me (never happened before). Instead of waiting for them to once again ask for a bribe I simply put the 1,900B on top of my application and they handed over my visa.

I called a fellow expat asking if he understood this bewildering situation. He said that they want to track where your money is originating just to make sure you are not working, as unemployment is so high.

Thanks to you guys for not telling me to report them. I already have to everybody - not holding my breath waiting for a response.

I have written and emailed the Bangkok Immigration office - no response. This is why I posted it in the forum. Any other briliant suggestions? In the US I would report them and they would be up on charges -- no such recourse here.

I also go through the same routine each year on my retirement visa -- lock me in a room for one hour, threaten me with deportation, and then ask for a bribe. I always have my bank books in order and politely hand them the 1900B. They give me my visa with a frown. I have reported this to the Bangkok Immigration Office (no reply).

Any suggestions?

i'll take samui with all her problems thankyou

Agree with you completely. I lived in Abu Dhabi and you couldn't give me a $1M to go back even with a free condo! Ok for a short holiday but only a muslim would be able to live there.

About the country, you are right. It's doing fine.

50% loss in tourist revenue, 25%+ loss in export revenue, worldwide embassy warnings to avoid Thailand -- yeah, things are real fine here. You were correct the first time -- this is the SS Thaitanic!

Sorry to disagree with you, but I left a gorgeous beachfront home in Roatan, Honduras and ran for my life to Thailand. If you live in Honduras you will need 24/7 bodyguards, and for $10, they will shoot you. Several of my neighbors were killed and I was constantly threatened. Plus, the police took off their name plates at night and went around robbing people. Not to say Thailand doesn't have its multitude of problems, but you will probably never be threatened. As far as ocean, scenery, and beaches, Mexico/Honduras are much nicer than most of Thailand. But the cost of living is higher than Thailand. I feel that safety is paramount wherever you live. Whatever country gives you peace of mind first, then entertainment, and finally a nice social life is the right place to be.

There was a similar case in the US where the female teacher was in her early twenties and the student was seventeen. He agreed with authorities that he loved the teacher and that it was consensual. The last I heard she was facing thirty years in prison. I look forward to the day when this "witch hunting" ends. Many adolescents seek out mature partners even to the point of stalking them. I am around this age group all the time and turn down at least one sexual advance a week. My girlfriend had to chase a twelve-year-old away from the house last week who was trying to climb in my bedroom window. We should be clear on one thing -- there is a vast difference between a predator who snatches an innocent chlld from a playgrond vis-a-vis a consensual relationship between partners of any age. The law hopefully realizes this difference. Should a customer be given the same sentence for soliciting an underage prostitute as one who kidnaps and rapes an underage person? Sure everyone wants to protect the child, but do they have the same rights when they are the predator or the purveyor of sex who goes on to the next customer? In this particular case if the male student agrees it was consensual than the teacher should be reprimanded and a mark should be put on her permanent record, suspension of pay for one month, and a warning that sex with a student in the future will result in her dismissal -- exactly the same if the genders were reversed. How many of us honestly have known buddies who had consensual sex with partners under eighteen? Should they all be in prison?

Each year I get my multi-entry retirement visa renewed in Samui and each year they ask for a 5,000B bribe and each year I refuse! However, it is getting tiring plus they always lock me in a small room for an hour and throw subtle threats at me. The last time I simply asked the officer for an invoice for the bribe. He handed me my visa with a frown. Does anyone have any other ideas?

Correct. I am a retired physician in Koh Samui and met with directors of all the private hospitals here. My offer as a volunteer or advisor was politely declined. As one doctor put it" Sir, even if you had won the Nobel Prize you would not be welcome here." I have been studying Thai (speaking, reading, and writing) in hopes of taking the licensing exam, but even if I passed it, I would most likely have to open my own clinic. The last thing a Thai doctor wants is to lose face to a farang. Also, Thai administrators are worried that the western doctor might publish information about the hospital once he/she returns to their country.

Go to any Tesco and stand by the oranges. You will see entire families of Thais eat hundreds of baht worth of fruit. Is that shoplifting? Guess you would have to pump their stomachs to get the evidence even though there are security cameras everywhere. I still remember the advice given to me four years ago when I arrived here, "Thais have to follow twenty percent of the law; whereas farangs must follow one hundred twenty percent." In other words, would a Thai couple have received the same sentence?

Millions of lovely Thai women support their families not by prostituting themselves but by working in banks, hospitals, shops, construction sites, and sometimes taking second jobs sweeping the floors at restaurants, etc. They have my utmost respect. Prostitutes, on the other hand, have destroyed countless lives, not by taking 1,000B, but by stealing from customers, deceiving them into sending money from overseas, and even having customers killed. Each time I hear someone defending prostitution, it's usually because they were unfortunate enough to marry one. It's true that we are all God's or Buddha's creatures, but respect and admiration is something else. And all criminals use the same excuse (supporting the family). As we used to say in the correction business, "There is no excuse for crime." Try to remember one thing before choosing one of these creatures as a mate: Your partner is a reflection on you and shows what you think about yourself. If I meet a guy with a girlfriend/wife who is obviously an Olympic Pole Swinger, that tells me all I need to know about him. When you see a lovely, well-mannered, moralistic Thai woman, you can pretty much be assured that the mate is at least confident about himself and has enough respect for himself to choose a proper partner.

So, keep supporting prostitutes and other dregs of society. You can also go to http://www.thaiprisonlife.com where they also need your admiration and money.

Please, let's not play that broken record again about how these poor prostitutes were forced into this life and only pursued this career to support their families. What about the millions of honest Thai women who are supporting their families by working two decent jobs? You demean them each time you make that comment. I worked as a prison physician for many years and can tell you that every criminal states that they were only trying to support their family. It sounds much better than they were greedy, lazy, and supporting a drug habit. Prostitutes are criminals in Thailand and most other countries, pure and simple, and this Aussie is also now a criminal. Prostitution in Australia is legal except in Western and Southern Australia. They were lucky to be in an area where there are legal brothels; otherwise, they might be serving a sentence alongside him.

Any of you who have big money in Thai banks should consult with a financial adviser. I talked with many money types, some with 100MTHB accounts, and they are doing the following: changing their accounts into US$ accounts or changing their baht into dollars and storing them in a safety deposit box. The THB has lost twenty percent of it's value against the US$ in the last few months and will continue to lose into 2009 -- some predict 40THB/$ before the new year and possibly 50-80THB/$ in 2009. If it reaches that level you can deposit your $ and make a nice profit.

Another factor to consider is the US is Thailand's largest customer and, guess what, the US has stopped importing most Thai goods.

It will be a very bad twelve months plus for the Thais, but it doesn't have to be a financial disaster for us!

Sorry, no 12-yr-old virgins in Thailand -- maybe an ugly 5-yr-old. Seriously, ask any psychologist and they will tell you that a paedophile is similar to a homosexual in that they have a genetic predisposition. In other words you would have the same success changing a paedophile as you would telling a homo that they must be hetero. The second problem is that prostitution is the largest illegal business in Thailand along with drugs. I am approached weekly by minor children, some even knocking on my door at night, and then there are the mothers attempting to drop their daughters off at my house. Since I am a single, wealthy man iliving in Thailand, they see me as a cash cow. So far I have resisted any temptation only because I fear going to jail. Let's be honest, though, how many single males would turn down a gorgeous 17-yr-old coming to their hotel room at night??? I've done it, but how long I can continue to do it is difficult to answer. Get over the notion that innocent young girls are being tricked by seedy old farangs. There are a few cases of this, and the farang should be caught, however, the bulk of it is underage prostitutes plying their wares. You can arrest the farang, but they will just approach the next one.