parallaxtech

Ricardo: What level of player are you? You can also play at Centara Hotel and the Imperial Hotel. I would like to get a tennis group started, so anyone please reply indicating your experience and time of play preference.

5.0+ A Player

3.9-4.9 - B Player

-3.8 - C Player

What is the name of this security company??

Thaivisa.com Rules will not allow me to name the company. Any company you choose, just make sure you keep an eye on the workers. As an update, they also destroyed my water heater in retaliation for reporting them. Keep in mind that relatively speaking, you are rich and they are poor, so expect some resentment. I get high anxiety any time I have to get Thais to repair something at my house. In every case they have fixed one thing, but broken or stolen something else. I've seen this same behavior in many other countries where there was a divergence of wealth, so it is not just a "Thai thing."

If your property is supposedly worth 20mil baht, apart from the security guards that you pay maitenance every month for, what security measures did the builder incorporate for that kind of price[/color],

In this community you buy the land and build your own house. The property management only controls the road access, common areas, security, water, and electric. In the beginning they built some starter houses (5-7MB) that were all cookie cutter. Then others began buying up the land and wanted their own design so we challenged the management company with a lawyer. Now, you can build whatever you want within Thai law. The house across the street from me is 5br/6b, theater, pool, jacuzzi, and will be close to 30MB. They are installing 200,000B in security equipment.

As I said previously, don't expect the police or anyone else to help in a burglary. If you don't have security on your house it's only a matter of time. One tip I do have is to never leave your laptop in the open. I have a hidden compartment in my house, so they will have to defeat all my security measures and then find the computer.

Soi'll speak for some friends who have been visited by robbers, they took a chair on the balcony and installed it at the back of the house and removed properly the bars for the other one, the thai style windows often don't close properly or not at all so it's easy to break in the house.

the robbers certainly don't act in a urge, i think they check wich house hase the potential to be robbed and come back when they see it can be done without risking too much

I agree. The bars on my windows are reinforced into the concrete and the heads are welded, so good-luck in removing them. There are five houses around me now that are unoccupied and unsecured, so I'm sure the burglars will hit them first. Security measures can always be defeated, so just have enough so that they will think twice and move on to a less secure house.

One thing that might sound ridiculous, but you should be aware of it: The security company workers know your vulnerabilities, so they might be your next burglars. While they were working on my house I left for an hour. When I came back, they had already loaded my gardening tools into their truck, and asked if they could have my friend's motorcycle (covered by a tarp while he is in Greece). It's ironic that the people who are supposedly providing your security are robbing you at the same time! I complained to the supervisor and they returned the tools, but they were mad about it so went around breaking small things like pvc, lights, etc.

The problem with many farang communities is there are absentee owners. Sure, I know Pierre who lives in Monte Carlo and Paris, Hans from Germany who visits one month per year, and Costos from Greece who lives here four months a year. Most of these houses have caretakers who live in the basement apt, but the houses don't have alarms. My partuclar house sits on one rai of land and I have planted over one hundred trees and over five thousand plants to make it into a jungle paradise. Unfortunately, the burglars can creep through the jungle under cover of darkness and go through a back window. Now, they will have to pass through a maze of security. I would like to even find an attack monkey, but my wife doesn't like monkeys.

A few owners are now installing security measures. The point is that three years ago there were no burglaries in my neighborhood, and this year most of the houses have been burgled. I have a strong feeling that in 2012 we will be saying, "Why are we having all this crime? It was so safe back in 2009!" The trend is going one way so just be prepared.

Can I ask? How did they get in? Did they force windows? Force doors? Break anything to get in? Or climb in through an open window?

I have the typical aluminum frames/windows. They easily used a screwdriver to pop it open. I did it myself one time when I lost my keys!

Someone asked "Why only a two-man security force." They are employed by the property management company. It might be better to have a thirty-man security force, but my monthly management fee would be about 30,000/mos, and let's face it, security people here are pretty useless. My community covers about sixty rai, so it would be difficult and expensive to surveil the entire area.

I have come to the conclusion that it was your fault if you were burgled in a house you own (rental security is up to the management) as you didn't take the necessary security precautions. My house is not impenetrable, but it would now be extremely difficult to get through the physical security (barbed wire, walls, electrified fence, armored windows) and electronic security (motion lights/sensors, alarmed windows and doors), not to mention two large dogs. I now feel if anyone can get through that, they deserve whatever they can take.

All farangs need to realize that they are a big target and it is not if but when you will be attacked!

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions -- made me feel a bit better! Yes, I now have physical (not guns) and electronic security as well as two guard dogs. What I think would be useful, but will probably never happen, is more roadblocks at night, especially stopping any vehicle with Thais (sorry for the profiling) coming out of farang residential areas.

What bothers me is I left my home in the Caribbean because they were shooting and robbing westerners in their homes. I was feeling very safe here up until the last six months. I've heard through the grapevine that many rich farangs are leaving here due to the increase in crime. One guy told me that Phuket was not safer, but the police were actually much better at catching the criminals. My concern is that if the word spreads through the criminal community that it's open season with impunity on farangs, it will become much more dangerous for us all and I will once again be looking for a safer place to live.

I live in a nice upscale community in Chaweng where the houses average 15-20MB. We have a two-man security force and a secuity gate. For three years we have not had any type of burglary to think of, but this past three months, six homes were burglarized, including mine. I lost only a laptop with the backup drive, but was still traumatized over it. We called the police (tourist and regular), but they never came. The next day we went to the police station and filled out a report. The police said that they typically leave one man as a lookout while the other ransacks the house. When we came home that night we did notice one suspicious character on a motorcycle outside of the entrance gate all dressed in black. I know it is difficult for the police to catch the multitude of criminals living on the island, but I'm wondering if they ever make any attempt to surveil them. It won't take long for the criminals to get more brazen, knowing that the police never bother to catch them.

I realize that times are getting tougher and crime is on the increase. My question is should we just take more security precautions realizing that the police are never going to curtail the problem? Of course I have recently made my house into an armed fortress, but would it do any good to contact my embassy or write to the police commissioner or is that just a wasted effort?

Thanks,

Mike

[quote name='Rooo' date='2009-10-02 23:48:11' post='3051119']

At the end of the day, if the people that are supposed to save your life & look after you, bleed you to death on cost. Well I suppose private sector, do what they like.

Roo and Mark, you are both correct. When you receive a prescription from the doctor, DON'T have it filled at the hospital pharmacy! Tesco Lotus is a good bet, but there are many other pharmacies with reasonable prices. Secondly, if you know a farang doctor or trusted Thai doctor, have them review the prescription. I usually accompany my friends to the hospital and then check their prescriptions (Sorry, don't have a Thai medical license and not available for consultations.) In one case, I found that the combination of drugs was not only harmful, but potentially lethal. Remember, medical malpractice is virtually unheard of in Thailand. So, buyer beware, but also be aware that the doctor might be harmful to your health! Not to end on a sour note, as I know many doctors here and in Bangkok, and most of them are good people who will do their best for their patients.

I have packages delivered every month via the postal service with little to no duties. Once I had a package delivered from the US via a private express service (can't say their name, but starts with a D) and they charged 100% of the value. I refused it and then had the same product sent via post where they charged 10% duties. If you use any of the big three you will be scalped for sure!

What bothers me is that if you now send in the FBAR under the Amnesty Program, you will be considered a tax evader. Like most retirees here I have to keep 800KB in a Thai account, which has been transferred directly from my US account. Since this amount has already been taxed to death in the US (income tax, ss tax, capital gains tax, etc.), I am concerned that they will want to tax it again. I don't generate work income here or in the US, file the 1040 each year, but have never checked the box for having a foreign bank account. According to the FBAR FAX on the irs.gov site, I have to send the FBARs in by Sept 23rd (did last week), but also send copies of the FBARs plus tax returns to another investigative office. It sounds to me like I am building a case against myself. The question is if you are sending $24k directly from a US account into a Thai account for a retirement visa, how is that evading taxes? If anyone knows a cpa here in Thailand or in the US who would answer emails, please provide an email address.

As an aside I contacted five US citizens living in Samui and asked them if they had filed an FBAR and checked their 1040. They all said they hadn't and on top of that hadn't filed a 1040 since they left the US. They all travel back and forth to the US and have never had a problem. They all just said, "Hey, relax and don't worry about it -- f..k the US." I am trying to follow US law and frankly am a nervous wreck.

Thanks,

Mike

Still searching for news... According to my neighbor, a house on the mountain near the Monkey Theater in Bophut collapsed killing all five farangs occupying it. He said he watched the ambulances arrive and carry the bodies away. Anyone living near this area should know something.

Does anyone have any information on the house that fell down the mountain in Bophut yesterday? My neighbor said that five farangs died. I have checked the internet, but can't find any verifiable source.

This will be a short-term fix until they enact laws with teeth, i.e. quite harsh penalties. A 1000 baht fine is chicken feed and has no deterrent effect whatsoever. Make it 100,000 baht or more in addition to jail time of at least 1 year and really enforce that law and they can then clean it up. Many laws here have paltry fines and have not been updated for years. 1,000 baht may have been a lot 30 years ago, but it's chicken feed today.

It wouldn't be too hard to push through such a law in Parliament I would think especially because these vultures tarnish the image of the country and as we all know, first impresssions are everything.

Agree with you completely, but will never happen here. Lived in Jamaica in the 1980s and they had similar problems with a loss of over 40% of their tourism dollars. Parliament passed a one year mandatory sentence on anyone targeting a tourist -- result was an immediate rise in tourism. Another good, but for some, strange destination where tourists are completely safe is Cuba. Castro has secret police everywhere protecting the tourists -- anyone caught bothering a tourist is immediately hauled off to prison. These countries know how to protect a precious resource, the farang, and realize they will be sunk without them.

There is a difference between a relationship and a marriage- a relationship is any acquaintance between two people, be it casual or serious- marriage is an equal life-partnership where both partners (should) exist on equal social strata and be able to inhabit their mate's respective worlds (in a social sense)- different interests or hobbies is one thing- different levels of lifestyle are entirely another (especially when one partner enjoys privileges that the other may not have access to due to different economic circumstances).

A marriage is "WE", not "you and yours and me and mine, and maybe we'll meet on occasion"- I wouldn't want Eliza Doolittle for a wife.

[/quote]

OTS - It is wonderful and a credit to you that you have a classic marriage that is working splendidly. Many never achieve this. However, some are not so dogmatic about marriage. For example, does someone who lives nine months out of the year in England, sees his wife and child in Thailand three months of it, and has very little interest in his wife's activities, considered to have a bad marriage? They are both extremely happy and it works for them. I and you would probably never want it, but I would not think of telling them they didn't meet the guidelines of what I felt makes a marriage. One 65-yr-old mega-millionaire friend of mine here married a poor 25-yr-old ladyboy from Isaan, and you better believe there was a quick transfer of assets to offshore locations, so is this a bad marriage? There are hundreds of examples I could cite of what some would call an unorthodox or non-traditional marriage, some work and others don't. In Thailand there are two types of marriages: ceremonial (majority) and contractual (signed papers at the Amphur); see Wikipedia.com for reference If one does the ceremonial marriage only, keeps their assets separated (no contractual obligation or marital property), is this a bad marriage? On and on ad nauseum. My only point is that if it works for you, both are happy, who cares what others think or say? Sharing one's assets in a pool and living together in the same strata is ideal for many, but would be a death sentence for others.

Agree with you that one should offer their partner the opportunity and means to enter their social strata. Some, however, decline the invitation because they would not be happy in it. Pierre Bourdieu developed the theories of social stratification and writes that 'tastes in food and culture are indicators of class or social strata." So if one chooses to entertain clients on their yacht while the wife eats sticky rice with her friends in Lamden Market (two distinctly separate strata), is this a good marriage? It works and they are happy, so great for them!

The longer you live the more you realize that life is not so well-defined and utopian as you once felt. When I was 25, to see an older man with a very young woman would have gotten me sick. Now, I see a 64-yr-old with a 20-yr-old and don't blink an eye.

If I have offended anyone by these statements, please ignore them and accept my apologies.

my post was in the capacity as a mod & there was no flame. You must have a very sensitive nature if you beleive my post to be flaming towards you in any way, shape or form, but understand this, I take a dim view on posters who like to make sweeping generalisations about women so crying out for Rooo to assist you will make no difference. Read the forum rules specifically those about making offensive posts based on gender. If you have issues with women this is not the place to air them.

Roo, agree with you wholeheartedly on generalising about women. That is why I usually put "some," "others," or "many people," in lieu of "I". Once you changed my statement to "I," you turned it into a broad generalisation made by me alone, which I found highly inflammatory and inciteful (TV Rule #4). I understand now that you didn't mean it that way, so forget the previous post. All generalis(z)ations are false including this one. Thoreau I posted yesterday, so I try to not make such sweeping comments, like you. Thanks for monitoring these posts, as I'm sure it is a thankless job.

I feel that (I) escaped from western society because (I) no longer wished to be around the girlfriends/wives (I had) who constantly reminded (me) to resume our position next to the dog bowl or she would strip (me) of all (my) assets! I want nothing to do with western brainwashing regarding relationships and live in Asia because I enjoy the staus (I) have, which was sorely lost (by me) years ago in the western world.

I think that is more accurate

Flamed by a mod? Amusing, but somewhat troubling. Earth to Roo, are you asleep at the controls?

"I" wish I could take credit for this cliche, but I can't. Hundreds of books were written on this subject, tv shows like Sex and the City rejoice in it, and forums are full of it. You might want to google or yahoo "Are Men Second Class Citizens in America?"

I used it just to provide an example of why some of us prefer Asia to the US/UK, but can't claim it as my original idea, thus the omission of "I."

Don't have a flamethrower to get you, but could borrow a RPG.

Tip to the hat to this women. Working and living hard every day under extreme conditions only a stone's throw away from the easy going bar scene, where thy could joint at any moment...at a place where thousands of other women enjoy a rather easy life with foreigners, these young and beautiful hard working women show dignity...

BM - Thanks for this wonderful sentiment that I wish would be flown on a banner around Samui! These women are the real heroes and backbone of Thai society, even though a few of them work the bar scene part-time. Every time I see a gorgeous 18-yr-old carrying a load of cement on her shoulder for 100b/day, I almost feel like giving her a medal, and then asking for the phone number.

OTS - You have done a great deal of reasoning on this subject, which should be helpful to the op as well as the rest of us. However, I disagree with you slightly in that I feel one can have a wonderful, loving relationship, and still stay in two different social strata. She can eat som tam with her friends, see traditional dancing, watch Thai soaps, go pray at the wat, or pick rice with her parents (not that all Thai women are only into these activities). This is a microcosm that she is happy and comfortable with. The farang may wish to go listen to western music, play pool, entertain guests on his yacht, or simply watch football -- some things that might be abhorrent for her. I think that some of us try too hard to make sure we are both equal and willing to compromise. It is more important in my view that a partner keeps her comfort zone and I keep mine. If she happens to like parts of mine, and I hers, then that is wonderful, but not essential. For instance I usually search the internet while the wife watches the soaps. She sometimes asks me to look up something and I frequently try to interpret the conversations. Shouldn't we all ask everyone in our personal spheres if they are doing what makes them happy? If not shouldn't we then see what can be done to change the situation? To me this is the most important part of any relationship.

An example of the Samui My Fair Lady happened to a very rich British friend of mine. He flew his new Thai bride and her Isaan family over to England where he had arranged a private viewing of the Queen's jewels, trips down the Thames on a private yacht, and several nights of theatre in Covent Garden. They refused to leave the hotel, asked where the Thai food was, and complained that they couldn't see the Thai soaps.

Thanks to those of you who have written to me through the TV messaging system outside of this forum. I welcome all correspondence, good and bad, and hope it will continue.

Excellent post and very useful!!!

It would be nice to hear from those out there who have married someone in their own social class vis-a-vis those who have someone from a very low social status. I had several friends in the US who traveled to remote areas of the world, grabbed a poor girl, and returned ot the US with her. They immediately showered her with gifts and began taking her around to society balls in Palm Beach. This was a 100% disaster as all the men ended up with a loss of assets and no girl. So, this is an interesting question that is relevant to Samui where so many poor girls live, "Can you take a poor girl from northern Thailand and successfully acclimate her into a much higher social class?"

Most experts agree that someone from a social class that is closer to yours is always an easier transition. The problem is that many of us are not attracted to someone within our own social parameter and once we successfully raise her status are no longer interested in her.

If you look at the average western couple (both from the same country), they are equal partners or the woman is ahead in the pecking order. In Thailand (Thai only couple) the man has command and control. Should we follow the western example or the Thai example?

I feel that most of us escaped from western society because we no longer wished to be around the girlfriends/wives who constantly reminded us to resume our position next to the dog bowl or she would strip us of all our assets! I want nothing to do with western brainwashing regarding relationships and live in Asia because I enjoy the staus men have, which was sorely lost years ago in the western world.

Again, only my opinion, and not a slur on anyone. My hope is that all of us will have happy relationships.

Thanks for the rantings that were amusing but once again bored the readers and did nothing for the op. I listed my ten ideas to help the op and answered questions about my lifestyle that were posed to me, never attacking anyone's lifestyle or them personally. So, for the tenth and last time, has anyone come up with an original way of finding a good mate here?

Someone mentioned earler that just by staying positive the Laws of Attraction would take over and a loving woman would one day appear. Even though I firmly believe in positive thinking most "proper" Thai girls will never approach a stranger. True or false?

Also, someone said he had a wonderful wife who had worked in a bar. Fantastic, but the op wants to find someone outside of the flesh trade.

One question I am often asked is "Would it be better to go to a remote area of Thailand, grab one, and return to Samui?"

Thanks for coming to the rescue! You are the best and I appreciate it.

Indeed, I think we have gone far enough with the personal attacks. From all sides.

Fact is, if you bring your personal relationship into this forum you will find some people who are more than willing to dissect every single aspect that you bring up. There are also members who delight in twisting people's words in order to suit their own ideas, and this, too you will just have to either learn to put up with or ignore.

However, this does not give carte blanche to people to flame, insult or abuse people. And I strongly suggest that these kinds of comments cease now.

Dr. Snapper: The op is looking for ways to find a proper woman outside of the sex trade. It's amusing that you like to compare your relationship to mine, but I would rather suffer with HIV than be in your situation, and you might feel the same about mine. So, try to appreciate that we all have different likes and needs. You will note that I never attacked your lifestyle, just said it was definitely not for me.

My wife chooses to work as you seem to ignore in all your comparisons. I asked to hire staff, which she refused. I expect the same of her as anyone I'm associated with -- pull your own weight and don't be financially dependent on anyone.

Please don't continue to misquote me. I love a debate, but hate misquotes. Where did I say I was an authority on relationships? The op asked for tips on finding a "proper" woman and I offered ideas that helped me find my wife. This makes me an authority on social situations about like you are an authority on doctors, which you obviously have a big chip on your shoulder about along with much disdain.

Try and read what others have said, like poster 76 -- very similar situation to mine. After my ten tips, note how the op wished I had provided these earlier. Talk to older farangs with younger spouses and ask about their relationships. Nobody has a perfect relationship just one that seems to work for them if they are lucky. Admittedly, more effort, so might be easier just to criticize others -- might want to flame them for having a similar opinion or for thanking me.

This thread was stopped yesterday, because of violators of the rules, so you will shortly see a message from the mods. You can check yesterday's posts to see their warnings. So, no, I love a good chat, but we all have to abide by the rules, which you feel free to ignore. As stated previously, "Any idiot can criticize, but only a reasoning man can offer a viable solution." Do you have anything to offer the op or would you like to debate on whether the Thai baht should be devalued??? And no, I'm not an authority on that, either, so don't say I claimed to be a financial analyst!

Snapperhead (sorry, had a friend with that nickname). I'm surprised that the mods allowed this further flaming of my lifestyle, but I actually enjoy explaining it, hence this response. [

Parallaxtech- it's super that you're a retired gyno and that you've devoted your life to the "science" of finding women (I've always thought of it as an "art" myself...)- now you've got a woman who busts her butt working 50+ hours per week for 12K per month (a mere 60 baht an hour- she'd do better toiling in your garden at 100 baht an hour) plus she has the expectation of doing all your cooking/cleaning/laundry (another 15-20 hours at least)- it sounds more like you've hired yourself a workhorse who shares your bed rather than found yourself a wife (this may not be the case in reality, but all I have to go on is your posts)- you don't exactly sound like a "catch".

My wife, like most "good" women in Samui, worked 50+ hrs/wk when I met her. Are you suggesting she now retire and demand the money from me? I can get a bg anywhere for much less money and she wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. She is now starting her own small restaurant where she will most likely work 60+ hrs/wk. Some people actually like the work they are doing. If I told her to stop, she would refuse. Once again, this is not a bg or typical leach you find on Samui. She likes to do gardening only once a week, so not interested in doing more. No, I found exactly what I was looking for. News flash!: Some women really like their jobs and enjoy taking care of the household. I asked her to hire an assistant to help out and she nearly took my head off! So, no, she is not your typical Samui girl, but I never wanted the typical girl.

My wife shares my fairly affluent lifestyle (she doesn't need my money to do it, though I would make sure that was the case even if she did- also, she's my wife in every sense, not just "unofficially" under Thai law where I could leave the country and her behind if it doesn't work out- I owe it to her and to our child)- I believe it's your job to pull your partner up (if possible and if necessary) rather than have them live in a social class below yours in a sort of "indentured servitude".

You mentioned a son, which changes everything. I will never have children, so my views are skewed towards a non-family arrangement. I choose an "open door policy," which means that there are no strings keeping us together. That ensures that we are together because we want to be, not because of children or the difficulty in getting a lawyer to dissolve the partnership. She has her money and I have mine, "and never the twain shall meet." If I had a paid lover, what would happen when the next guy offered more? I offer no money, so why is she still with me??? Must be a good catch.

Many of her friends would love to live in this "indentured servitude." They work their behinds off only to go live in a shack with a drunken boyfriend who beats them. Mine returns to her lovely home on the hill overlooking the ocean and spends her time with someone who actually cares about her. It's a partner's job to support the other with help and advice, not pay her for sexual or menial services. This once again doesn't pertain to a housewife who is taking care of children.

You should be more tolerant of other's lifestyles. I can only imagine what you would say to a same-sex partnership. We are all unique in our dna, so don't assume that everyone should meet your strict guidelines. My lifestyle works fine for me and my wife, and yours works for you. Should I give mine up because it doesn't meet your moral standards?

Does any of this pertain to the op? Mods, help!

Many to most marriages in Thailand with or without farangs are performed by monks and not official. You can search this on Thai Visa. All my friends here are married unofficially, as what is to gain by officially marrying her? So, yes she is my Thai wife. Love and money don't mix. Why should my wife have to know about my assets??? This is none of her business. I know that she owns some land in Ubon, but that is none of my business, either. Keep money and love separated. You can't buy love as they say.

You apparently have a lot of frustration and rage, so I would suggest a psychiatrist, not a gynecologist.

1. State your issues clearly, don't ramble on with gibberish.

2. Remember we are trying to help the op, not criticize me, so come up with original ideas if you have one.

3. Methinks you married a bg, so good luck, and keep the emergency number on speed dial.

Good luck with your rantings. I'm sure a lovely woman would enjoy your company!