Okay, so apparently my dating profile in the ASEAN forum is comedy gold. They're all chuckling because I have this tiny preference for partners with a job. Little do they know, my decade-plus in Thailand was basically a solo vacation funded by my significant other. Pure bliss! Fast forward to Canada, and suddenly I'm not just a partner, I'm a human bladder escort. This woman needs me for everything. It's less "happily ever after" and more "24/7 stage five clinger crisis." Send help... and maybe a job application.