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Posts posted by fangless
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Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus.
Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
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Ireland’s on lock down due to the virus!!
Paddy and Murphy have just been signed up by the army. They are given a rifle each and told...
“Listen up men! We are on the lookout for Virus Curfew offenders. Martial law has been declared! Anyone caught out of their home after 6 PM ……….. it's SHOOT TO KILL”!!!
On their first day, they are sitting on a rooftop when Paddy lets off 3 rounds and kills a man who is walking along the pavement! Murphy shouts “JESUS PADDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S ONLY 5.45 PM”!
Paddy replies:” I Know where he lives...... He’ll never make it home by 6PM!!-
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Abbot and Costello meet the Corona Virus
The World Health Organization says Corona is officially a pandemic.
Who says that? Yes.
Who said it's a pandemic? That's right! They also said don't touch anyone.
Who? Anyone!
I'm asking, WHO said don't touch anyone? Absolutely. And they're not the only ones!Who's not?
Right. The newly-formed 'World Health Action Taskforce' said the same thing!
The what? Yes.
I just wanna know; what did who say?! No WHAT and WHO both said--
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Because of the global pandemic, the teacher had to move the assignments online. Thinking of this student, she thought that he surely wouldn’t have an excuse anymore and would finally have to turn an assignment in.
But after the assignment was due and the teacher was done grading, she noticed that the student still hadn’t turned in the assignment. She emailed him to find out why he still wasn’t doing his homework, to which she received the usual reply that his dog ate his homework.
The teacher thought she had finally caught him in the act! She was curious as to why he would tell such an obvious lie, so she responded back and asked how that could still be, as the assignment was completely online.
The student responded, “I’m sorry this keeps happening, but I can still turn in the last few problems if you want as I managed to stop my dog after the first few bytes.”-
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Have you heard about Cario's taxi drivers?
The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns even louder than before the pandemic.It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
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Julius Caesar....
Is offering his friends some delicious ancient roman pizza Everyone eats a single slice except Brutus who sneakily eats another one.
Caesar catches him in the act and says
"Ate two, Brute?"-
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A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar
One came, one saw, and one conquered,-
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It seems I have a new medical disorder, “alcoholic constipation”; I can’t pass a pub!
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My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.
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My best mates and I played a game of hiding and seek.
It went on for hours...
Well, good friends are hard to find.
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My parents are always telling me that their world doesn't revolve around me.
So I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun.
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56 minutes ago, OneeyedJohn said:
I heard midget porn is quite big.
In a short time way!
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Pattaya: Man steals 200,000 baht from a temple - then goes on bargirl spending spree!
in Pattaya News
Posted
What were Monks doing with that amount of cash in their quarters?