dannyh2000uk

Hey Dropkick, my bolthole is actually in On-Nut, Suk 77, If your selection of Avatar is a window to how you think of yourself, I'm not suprised by your responses to this thread.

My apologies,I should not rise to the bait. I must constantly remind myself "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all"

With respect, having 'nice things to say' doesnt really help this guy does it. Your post only serves to perpetuate what Briggsy said . . it encourages him to procrastinate and wallow in self-pity. It's telling he only really replies to those posts (like yours) which offer little except easy to articulate pleasantries about how lovely his gf is, how unlucky he's been, and how life can only get better.

Blah blah bloody blah.

So you're a lovely guy, and i'm a jerk. Tell us something we didnt already know.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, his irresponsibility has created yet another life which he can't afford to keep and here he is worrying that the daughter's mother is trying to scam him (at the same time as exhorting to us how he can only see beauty in her soul).

<deleted>, which is it man? Is she a good woman or is she a cheating whore? Only you can decide and it's no point asking us - a bunch of indifferent cyber entities - to look at some sickly sweet youtube video to decide for you. You've said over and over again that she is a lovely girl, so why the hel_l are you baulking about send a piss poor 1,500 quid to her?

Grow a backbone and be a man.

Well if that is the measure Of a man then I was more a man 15 years ago when this amount was just a weekend out.

but I am here asking on the fact that principle means more.

if you have 100k then it means nothing, like the rich man being fined in court

but dude the little girl is the one who is going to pay for your indiscretions with a disco girl..........how sad.

I am doing all I can to make her situation better, don't you think it doesn't play on my mind everyday?

but what to do, get her here, or pay for decent education there.

It is easy for me to get her dual passport, but If you know UK, is it really better here?

It's a difficult decision, I've got 2 Thai/farang kids with my wife and I keep thinking if it would be better to move back to the UK or not.

I'm fortunate that I can afford to pay for their international school in BKK (about 300k a year each), but if I had to leave them in a Thai school, I think I would be booking the tickets back to the UK.

I've been in Thailand for 5 years now, but I work in other places (HK, Sing, Saudi, India), Thailand has very little business nowadays and seems to be becoming more insular (typical thai reaction to criticism).

From the kids point of view I would move back to the UK, but my job requires travel a lot, and I feel bad about leaving my wife with the kids in a strange country for 50% of the time.

Life is full of hard choices, but I think you have to expect the best possible outcome and prepare for the worst. Above all, don't make yourself miserable for something that you think is best for your kids. Kids are adaptable...

Thanks, it means a lot to get advice from somebody who has been there, and is still there.

wow 300,000 baht a year each

Yo Danny.

I appreciate the situation here. It is deep. Saw your vid, the girl is lovely. I think you have a good thing. And now the daughter too. I'm with everything Midas said. And I also see Bendix's perspective. I read in an earlier post where you said ".....this thread is not about x, y, z." I totally understand your feelings there, but I have to say it is. You've got a lot of us believing you here and then looking at your situation and it's hard to hold back. All I can say is that I sympathize. But at this point, with a child, you do have to look at your money, your life, your work, your course of action for the future. That is the truth. If others comments got under your skin, it's for a reason - it struck a chord in you. I can only imagine the frustration and ruined feeling of a divorce that takes everything away from you like that. But it's also time to get back up on the horse and ride. You've got to pick yourself up here and do good with a good lady and a daughter. You're young, you can work. And you should work hard. Right now. Like it or not. Maybe England sucks. But also it can suck trying to scrape by in LOS as many do. You have alot of choices in front of you, but some are rather compulsory here. Again, tough situation. But you seem a sensitive guy who knows to do the right thing. That's all the others who are looking at other aspects of your life are talking about. It reminds me of the many kids who later grow up to realize their dads worked in shitty jobs they hated just to provide for their families just so they had a better lot in life - or the best lot possible for them. That sacrifice is what it comes down to. You, your other family, your friends, and ultimately the kid would understand and respect you for that sacrifice now. And you'd be doing it for the right people. Best of luck to you.

thank you real- you speak a lot of sense

"Oh Blizz have you read this whole post?? Anyway best of luck with your charmed life. but be aware it can all change very quickly, and oneday you'll see that "

Come on, Danny, buck up! My original post was "don't pay", and your response was "I should pay". When someone posts, "you should pay", your response is "I don't have to". I think that it's pathetic that a middle-aged man is in such a confused emotional state that he has to rely on advise from strangers...and then chooses to argue with them.

I read a doctor's response about seeking medical advice from strangers on the web, "If you believe the advice of strangers, rather than that from your doctor, change your doctor." Perhaps therapy is in your future.

I have not argued with anyone, except when they have gone off subject.

and therapy might well be in the future, but in answer to " such a confused state" well surely that is why I am asking for advice, because if I wasn't I would not need it. qed

Danny, I don't get it . Why are you sitting up all night on thaivisa instead of getting a good night's sleep so you can be up early Monday morning to look for a job .

good question, the answer, I have been Ghosting at a broadcast company over the weekend.

and Having been freelance for 20+ years I am aware that to get the job I must not seem desperate.

so I have emailed them and are awaiting shifts ( which are 24 hours not 9-5).

guys ,I have sent nearly 30,000 baht since I have been back in the Uk- borrowed.

That I think has kept my daughter.

This is not about responsibilities, this is about am I being scammed.

Surely on this forum you guys know all the angles, why are you now laying into me.

I never said " all Thai people are con artists", but after my painful uk seperation, I am aware that I am ripe for the taking, I just wanted info on what you thought, and if this was a common theme.

but dude the little girl is the one who is going to pay for your indiscretions with a disco girl..........how sad.

I am doing all I can to make her situation better, don't you think it doesn't play on my mind everyday?

but what to do, get her here, or pay for decent education there.

It is easy for me to get her dual passport, but If you know UK, is it really better here?

have you considered directing for Thai television?

LOL- no the soaps are to cheesy even for my story.

In fact having watched the thai soaps I think I'll open a school for over acting

Well Dan, as usual your post has attracted the full spectrum of responses, from the supportive and sympathetic to the insulting and derogatory. I am not an expert on Thai/Farang relationships but I do have a good knowledge of Thai culture. Having read all the thread and seen your you tube video, I feel very sorry for your plight. I do not believe your girl is trying to scam you, there are many people here who have had their views on Thai's tainted by their own experiences and they are the first ones to put you and your Thai girlfriend down - IGNORE THEM! Their opinions are worthless and in the long run provide no useful advice to someone in your situation.

I have known many Thai girls from many walks of life and one thing they all have in common is their loyalty to and love for family, some of them, particularly the first born, assume responsibility for the entire family's well being. They see it as their duty to provide for the rest of the family. I know one girl who has built a house in Si Sa Ket for her family and is now planning to pay for her sisters daughters education in an international school, this despite the fact that she is not very well off herself.

Your girlfriend exudes openness and good character in the video and your daughter is beatiful. If there is any way for you to provide the 100 k, then as an act of trust and good faith you should provide it. Forget the doom and gloom merchants who say it will set a precedent and you will become the family ATM. At the end of the day it is not much money (probably less than half of what your initial holiday to Thailand with your family cost) and it will show her that you genuinely care about her and your daughter.

With respect to your first wife, don't feel too bad, it happened to me too, although not with one of my friends, I also had a marriage of 18 years and lost everything except the love and respect of my children. I imagine your children from the first marriage range in age from 12 up? They are not stupid, they will recognize that you are not to blame for the break-up. It is important that you do not bad mouth your ex to them, even if she tries to poison them against you. In the situation you find yourself in an eye for an eye is not an appropriate motto.

I wish you every success in your endeavours to get back on your feet, I think you have found a good Thai woman regardless of what form of employment she had before you met her. By the way, many Thai women visit Pattaya for reasons other than prostitution!

Good Luck Dan.

With respect to the payment of 100 k If as others predict you are thought of as the ATM you can always say no if they ask for more.

Thank you so much midas, your reply resonated with me, so I guess that is the way to go

its not the color of her skin that makes her unsightly................lol .

this guy is a troll or wot? he playing all of us like a fiddle.

i dont think anyone cares about yr opening concern, bout the old lady with the debt. people here want u to be a man and take care of baby.

Troll me thinks.

Looking for advice? Does he not know he needs a job? What other advice he needs? Junk cliches provided by sympathetic posters are worth hitting a shreader.

And that "gorgeous" girl - he could have found somebody more presentable and demure to act on her behalf.

What a drama - 3K US$ pittance she is asking from a man who left her with the baby, disappeared and may never return.

Or she has sensed he is a deadwood that would do something silly (like posting the story and videos on this board) rather than showing maturity and assuming parental duties? Well, he's done that to 5 other kids, why would she trust him? Looks like it is happening to the sixth.

Or, could he be running a scam on his own? To get us here to chip in? Hmmm....

Oh god, please read the whole post.

<deleted> I am not asking for anything but advice on the situation at hand- not on how X speaks, Not on how X looks, Not on why my life is a mess, Not on what anybody considers 100,000 baht to be, not on My age, Not on her age, Not on Pattaya.

And what is your defination of deadwood? somebody who worked there whole life and got 4 kids to live in a lovely country house in the best bit of the uk?

Stop judging I thought this forum was above that sh#t I thought you all left farangeland to get away from that.

so wots the problem then . send her 100k baht. she ask you give. case closed.

sound like you drama man. very entertaining.

get a job dude. dont spend yr time posting here.

Oh Blizz have you read this whole post??

Anyway best of luck with your charmed life. but be aware it can all change very quickly, and oneday you'll see that

anybody who want to see her watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7GuZ38-2LQ.

I believe the chinese say look in the eyes to see the person, that is what I do, and I see a nice person

its not the color of her skin that makes her unsightly................lol .

this guy is a troll or wot? he playing all of us like a fiddle.

Blizz. I am not a troll, I am a man in very bad place who has come here for advice from thai experts that is all and please refrain from insulting X she has done nothing to you.

And as far as I am concerned she is beautiful-in looks and the fact that she looked after me when I was mashed up.

ami i missing sumthing here.

the girl aint GORGEOUS! she not hideous looking...............i give you that. ive seen worse.

Depends on what you see as gorgeous I guess, beauty is in the Eye-blah, blah, blah.

but this post is not about " shall I pay her because she is a super model"

Can you imagine a man in your situation, I mean the broke, jobless stuff, being able to BOOM knock up a gorgeous 20 year old? I am not saying that I am not also benefiting from the birth lottery, its just an amazing thing, ain't it?

It is amazing, but in this case I think it was more down to the effect that for all her life the thais had slagged X off for being dark and ugly for it.

Now the racism in Thailand is incredible ( see all the skin lightener adverts on tv)- I just came along and said " you are beautiful" I think this had a resonance with her- the fact that a light skinned person was saying this after a life of insults.

But before X yes the difference is incredible, a man could quite happily f##k off there till he died.

and I met many such Falanges in Trat- and who can blame them

pray tell me, where did she learn to speak English?

I have wondered myself, but that does not detract from a good person, sometimes you just have to let the past go, for the sake of the future.

well it seems I am now fair game-no problem.

In The uk it is full of 40 yr old women bragging about toy boys, have we now got to the phase where we are ageist the other way????

This original question had nothing to do with age

Re VDO. I did note that the clip taken in a bar (?) a girl called out...'Hello, welcome, sit down please'. Hmmm I wonder what X does for a living? Another clip X laughs about 'chuk-wow' and 'aroy'. Nice.

That portion of the video was me on the loose solo, it has nothing to do with X

I have already explained the Chuck wow clip.

Jesus where did all these puritans come from???????

I guess the obvious objection to all this is the very fact that a grown man needs advice on what to do in this instance. He's knocked some Thai girl up. Putting aside my misgivings about the age of the girl and how the OP's timelines don't stack up, I will assume this is all genuine. If it's genuine, why are you even asking the question. You have obligations, man. Meet them. Stop whining about your misfortunes and take care of your responsibilities.

In Theory I agree with you, but I have not been whining about my mis -fortunes, that was to put into context why I couldn't just pay off what would have been nothing a few years ago, and to put in place the reality of the situation.

In terms of obligations, when is it the case to get screwed.

I was originally asking if this was a common story to which I was now playing the mug.

I think you'll appreciate after now losing the last 20 years income, It is not something to replay.

I'm Rushing off so this will be a fast reply, a more detailed one later.

1. In 2004 My wife and I and 4 kids were in LOS on Beach when Tsunami came, we ran.

2. On arriving back uk 2005, My wife and I argued a lot.

3. By Nov 2005 she was having an affair which she wouldn't end.

4. I had to leave our house, a house where I expected to live forever.

5.At that house in an Out building I had built my studio to work from.

6. During 2006 it became apparent that wife wanted me nowhere near my House/work.

7. 2006 spent working BKK, and Texas, sleeping various places when back in UK.

8.2006 Aug sick of wife carrying on with ex friend, decide to go back to LOS to have one last good birthday ( aug).

9. X gets pregnant- 2 peoples error.

10. I decide to stay and help as uk nothing going on, can't work from studio etc.

11.Wife in England contacts our joint account takes my name off it ( don't know how), my ATM card gets swallowed in BKK,

my Debits to all my credit cards cease.

12.In Asia surviving on whatever, then accident.

13. Back to uk, no Car, House, atm cards, credit Cards, bank account, Job.= Bad way at 40.

14.Found solicitor battling for access to my studio, in order to sell or re-set up.

Tune= I'll find out later I forget the name, but on Montage music does change for those who hate cuban

Jackanory...

RAZZ

<deleted> are you so cynical????,

Is your life so boring that my life seems like a story?

If so I'll write the book because I was under the impression everybody had an intersting life if put under a Microscope.

I only put this on the forum because I had nowhere else for advice.

Please all posters keep to the original question, I can get jibes anywhere, they are cheap and not very useful.

Difference between a bad girl and a good girl Danny?

When you're with a bad girl, it's all about her and she lets you know it.

When you're with a good girl, it's all about her, but she makes you think it's all about you.

That's life, the smart ones know how to get what they want without all the drama.

I think on that basis you have a good one.

Good luck.

Excellent post by torrenova BTW.

Thanks man, that is funny, and probably very incisive.

I would suggest a trip to Planned Parenthood for a snip. You have 4 kids with wife A & 1 with wife B - that is plenty. You're too irresponsible to use a condom. Cut off your swimmers.

Blimey having worked in Texas and seen all the repressed thinking I thought on here I hadn't dialed up.

bible belt dot com.

In answer to your post- the first 4 kids were planned and due to my wife's poly cystic ovaries, were celebrated when born, as we were told "no way".

In terms of Thai girlfriend-jesus how many people think that just one time with no condom will constitute pregnancy??

I was married since very young, maybe I didn't way up the odds, But like I say I was on a self-distruct mission.

But the past is the past, we have to move forward and I have no plans here in UK to even try and find female company.

I just wanted answers to this problem, not some moralizing, bur thank you anyway

You don't get many good girls going on camera talking about wanking though !

I agree with the most of your post so thank you, but I have to ask " what constitutes a "good girl", at the time of that segment we were pissed up before we knew she was pregnant.

Once she did the test she didn't drink again.

I am of the impression that a good girl is somebody with a good heart, not somebody who might/or might not have done some stupid things.

Also X has a crap phone, and no jewlery to speak of.

Blimey you have me defending her honour now.

a guy say a thai girl goes to pattaya for excitement is hilarious! although it could be true............lol.

if you dont help to raise girl when she get older she prolly going to pattaya for excitement too!

Although I never judged most of the girls of pattaya I mean life offers the girls of Issan a pretty tough life.

I still find the idea of my Daughter going there oneday to be pretty misrable.

Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind, the hypocrasy of my thinking.

I remember seeing a cartoon in Pattaya where a new born girl says " hello welcome".

I was so gled when the baby scan said it was a boy, I was dumbstruck when a girl popped out, but you get over these things quickly.

Sod it things seem different in LOS that is why I am asking these questions here, because there ain't no balanced advice in London

So Danny, have you made any plans for a course of action yet?

Well this forum has given me much food for thought and some reasonable replies.

I would like to add an incident that I just remembered.

The final time I stayed in Issan awaiting recovery to get my plane, I was awoken by a furious argument between X and her Dad.

When the dad had left I asked what it was about.

It turned out he had ask X to ask me for 120 baht to go to Hospital for an ear infection and she had told him " no I can't ask danny".

Of course as soon as he came back I gave him the dosh, and off he went via tuk, tuk.

I am not sure if this is normal thai daughter behaivoir, but I appreciated the gesture.

I guess what I am saying is now You lot have convinced me,It doesn't really matter what the reasons are, but I have to get money over to them if for no more reason than they now have additional costs of my daughter to find- and vaccinations ain't cheap there.

Best

Dan