Regyai

UK Home secretary should order a few for Dover

Surely this is merely the agent 'shortcutting' his fee from available cash funds. Unless of course its written into the rental contract that half the tenant's deposit is to taken to pay your agent. The equitable way is to place the full deposit in an interest bearing account until the resolution of the tenancy agreement. Then (and only then) if there's default per the agreement do the valid amount of these funds become available to you.

Why not just do it properly and put the whole deposit in to a separate account on receipt of it? This in essence is the root cause of most of these deposit return bouts of acrimony (notably with Thai owners). 'Pi55ing up the wall' a received deposit as some kind of windfall cash winnings leads to the inevitable prospect of trying to relinquish unachievable funds from their grocery monies a year later when the tenant leaves .

Or for that matter normal mackerel

Pretty sure it was in one of his books I read a tale which always stuck in my mind, and very germane to the OP's question: Basically the monk goes to the Abbot of his then Wat and asks to transfer to some other Wat where he feels it would be more conducive to his meditation practice. The Abbot reflects on the request then asks the monk to observe the temple dogs, how restless they are, how they scratch and shuffle, then move somewhere more comfortable, or somewhere a little cooler. Then insightfully explained that the dogs don't realise that where ever they go, they take their fleas with them.

Only because you keep hitting motorcycles ????

Apparently two .22 cal rifles (which may or may not be mere 'air-guns' no info given) and a wall full of toy guns.

Source of mirth in 1922 (Charles Penrose - The laughing Policeman)

Of more importance where there any possible lottery numbers to be discerned from the skateboard or bloodsplatter?

& definitely more welcome

If it doesn't dispense lottery numbers I call fake

Rather an involved and drawn out saga with a virtual cast of ill defined hoops which may or may not be needed to jump through. All explaining precisely why an agent's intervention is well worth the fee.

Exactly the way Ive done it each time

Heavy Swift fees for a UK bank I opened a Halifax current account for sole purpose of using their £9 swift fee for transfers to Thailand. There may be cheaper but this is with a free account, something with a monthly fee may have a cheaper swift fee hidden amongst its 'bells n whistles'

Got a link? Google Play search unproductive

Then put it back on its bar stool where it belongs ????

Very low key when compared to the Manchester craze of 'steaming' years ago - where a large gang of very violent ethnics would storm a shop and pick it clean like locusts.

He's doing this nonsense in London, sooner or later he'll find one that turns a bit stabby .

Correct The cheapo hotel ruse seems ideal and keeps the photocopying folks one step away from your residence. Never endured a communist regime so cant understand the slavish willingness to 'register' your whereabouts.

He'd be like a duck to water in the Land of Smiles Snitches they'd probably set up a hotline phone number for him

So where are you located? How much £ do you have? What do you want for it?

Curiouser and curiouser & if no plates were actually broken was he really Greek

Not really Thailand has been the L.O.S. (Land of Snitches) for as long as I can remember. If they're not found following the national pastime of dobbing each other in, they certainly can be relied upon to throw any and everyone to the wolves if captured - when their DNA seems to cause an inability to hold their own water. And to be honest the Thais aren't much better ????.

Why not change flights to arrive 1st Oct?

Be fair its a refreshing change from the more routine Pattaya beggar type plying shares in his bar