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Goinghomesoon

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Posts posted by Goinghomesoon

  1. Having done both (sponsored work visa for 4 years, then a non-O) I would say it doesn't really matter unless you want to stay in Thailand long-term, and then the marriage option is probably easier - as others have pointed out, it gives you options down the track for citizenship etc.

    And ignore the naysayers. There are plenty of us with brilliant Thai hubbies :)

    • Like 1
  2. I was never able to work it out blink.png Crumpled you could try taking her to Central to try on on bras in the Marks and Spencer section - then you'll have an idea of her UK sizing.

    The main difference I have found shopping for my Asian daughter's bras is that the Thai/Asian brands are usually quite small across the back, compared to the western sizes.

  3. OP David congrats on expecting twins. What a learning curve.

    Until now I never really took much notice of my pregnant sisters-in-law and any special cultural beliefs. I know most of them only because I lived in Cambodia for a few years and several of my Khmer girlfriends had babies and went through the herbs/special food/fire under the bed routine. And I was warned very early on to never-never-never say that a newborn was cute.

    Actually I suspect my Thai hubby never took much notice either, because I'm currently expecting and he hasn't really expressed an interest in doing anything the Thai way. Except the need to massage the baby's nose to ensure it looks more farang, of course!

    • Like 1
  4. Hubby is from Phon Phisai but if you don't know anyone in the area that can accommodate you the night before I would recommend taking the Mutmee's boat cruise. The traffic is really horrendous all day on the main 'fireball day' (as others have pointed out). You will be scratching to find any shade if you are there all day and you do need to get down to the riverside fairly early to stake out a spot or you won't get a place to sit. If you need a 'farang break" there is a pub near the bus station but not sure if it will be open at lunch. Have fun!

    If you are interested for future years, there is a really pretty guesthouse/set of bungalows called Baan Waas run by a mother/daughter just as you drive into Phon Phisai - they have a deck right on the river, it's perfect because you can have food and drinks in your bungalow and set yourself up for a picnic without the stress of the traffic.

  5. 1DaySoon would love to hear what you ultimately decided. If I could be invasive and ask whether you and your wife had extensive testing before doctors led you down the AI path? When we were first investigating, we went to a couple of the 'top' hospitals in Bangkok - both suggested testing hub's swimmers plus a bunch of tests to determine open tubes, hormonal levels and possible immunology issues that can prevent implantation. Whereas the specialist fertility clinic that has been recommended numerous places on here didn't suggest anything except lots of medication and straight to AI. Which would have been useless if there was ultimately a physical problem with either of us.

    We were also on the Thai adoption waiting list (and presumably still are, since we haven't formally withdrawn) but the wait is currently a number of years. There is a Facebook group for families living in Thailand & wanting to adopt if you are interested.

  6. Thanet is right - I know a couple with a young child that applied. They knew the rules and specifically asked in their cover letter to be assessed for PR straight up (bypassing the 2 year rule) and got it with no problem. That said, they had a long-standing relationship and lots of supporting documents and statements to support their application.

    Contrary to what Thanet says though, we don't know anyone that has used a migration agent and hubby and I have a wide group of friends with spouses from Thailand both male and female. I know in our case, as soon as things got serious I started keeping every scrap of paper that related to our relationship, made sure we kept our phone records, bank statements etc to show calls and transfers between us. When we went to hotels we got them to put both names on the account, that type of thing. I didn't find it too difficulty - most of the evident they ask for is common-sense stuff really.

    Hi, can you elaborate a bit more on the bypassing the 2 year bit? What was their reason for wanting this? Hope I'm not asking to personal of a question! I see the 2 year temporary part as just a cooling off period so to speak, which still gives all the benefits of the permanent visa anyhow, correct? I'm curious as it's the first time I've heard of this being done, hadn't even crossed my mind you could.

    Kris don't worry about predictive....my initial post was appallingly constructed. Must have just woken up after a few night shifts smile.png

    Bypassing the temp residence period means your spouse qualifies for citizenship faster. My friend's husband is not Thai but from a country where he experienced difficulty getting visas to various places they travelled for work & holidays. The quicker they could get citizenship (and an Aust passport) the better. As a permanent resident he would also be eligible for consular assistance from Australia if something horrid happened while travelling, but not as a temp resident.

    Also spouse permanent residents are eligible for HECS whereas temp visa holders get charged international student fees. (The exception being the gratis AMEP English classes for those that don't read/speak good English).

    The text on the Immigration website says "While it is not common for permanent visas to be granted less than two years from the date of application, in certain circumstances it is possible for a visa to be granted in this time. An example of when a visa may be granted within two years is when the relationship is long-term at the time of application (long-term is defined as three years, or two years if there is a dependent child, excluding a stepchild, of the relationship)."

    Would be nice to hear back from the OP and see what they decided to do.

    • Like 2
  7. Thanet is right - I know a couple with a young child that applied. They knew the rules and specifically asked in their cover letter to be assessed for PR straight up (bypassing the 2 year rule) and got it with no problem. That said, they had a long-standing relationship and lots of supporting documents and statements to support their application.

    Contrary to what Thanet says though, we don't know anyone that has used a migration agent and hubby and I have a wide group of friends with spouses from Thailand both male and female. I know in our case, as soon as things got serious I started keeping every scrap of paper that related to our relationship, made sure we kept our phone records, bank statements etc to show calls and transfers between us. When we went to hotels we got them to put both names on the account, that type of thing. I didn't find it too difficulty - most of the evident they ask for is common-sense stuff really.

    • Like 1
  8. Murray if you are in Australia and intend staying here, you and your wife can also look at a step-parent adoption under Australian law, or a Family Court order (which is not an adoption but can give you some parental-type rights). Each state has different requirements and step-parent adoptions are administered by your state welfare department. I don't know where you are, but for the ACT information is here http://www.dhcs.act.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0017/11708/DHC1628_stepchildrenandadopt2.pdf

  9. Spa 1930 is a day spa in a restored house near Lumpini park http://spa1930.com/html/contact.html it's very good and different to the run-of-the-mill spas you see around town. Very classy, easy to get to if you are staying centrally. The prices are expensive for Bangkok but still cheap by western standards.

    All of the major hotels have nice day spas - I've been to the one at the Royal Orchid Sheraton by the river (Mandara spa) it was outstanding. And on par with prices here in Australia.

    • Like 1
  10. The Kingpin of the Falang meetings in Tesco is old John ( aussie ) He makes a big effort to get falangs talking to each other. sad.png He is there most Friday afternoons. Be ready for a fair bit of sarcasm from him, all in very good humour and if you have car...well, he might ask for a lift home biggrin.png ( 10km )................Draught lager sold in Tesco at the food court.

    Talking about how far reputations reach...I'm in AUSTRALIA and I know who you're referring to ;) John also holds court in Nong Khai once a month or so when he goes up there to clear his mailbox :)

  11. We have a traditional Thai house on our farm, now we are looking to build something over our dam so we can fish and 'hang out'.

    My hubby wants to build a traditional on-concrete-stilts sala over the water (he would like to make a simpler version of this www.nongnit.com/thaihouse/gazebo1.jpg) but I think they look a bit stupid in dry season when the water levels drop. However we haven't really been able to find any way of floating a roofed structure. And I right in assuming the building structure & roofing would make it too heavy? Have any of you seen such an animal in your travels?

    **oops sorry meant to put this in the DIY forum! Sorry ***

  12. Or you can order off-menu at Din Tai Fung. I know, it's not from a trolley & there's not the huge variety of choice. But they come hot - really steaming hot - and for anyone that's lived in Taiwan they are, well, just that bit of familiarity that sometimes we crave :)

  13. I know loads of thai man western women couples that are long term where both work together & contribute together to their relationship both emotionally & financially. I know zero that are like the supposedly thai poster (I have my doubts) claims but hey what the flub do I know right, I am only a western women married to a thai man who doesn't hang out with bar boys or motocy taxi drivers & neither does anyone I know. wink.png

    Like Boo I know quite a few western women with Thai hubbies both in Bangkok and here in Australia and I too haven't met anyone remotely like a 'mangda'. And while my husband may be originally an Isaan farm boy who worked 20 years in Bangkok doing menial hotel and other jobs, he's an absolutely brilliant husband, wonderful step-father to my daughter and an excellent communicator. And since we moved to Australia he's not only learned a new language but also gotten a permanent job. I think as was pointed out on another thread, that there is a lot to be said for being raised by good role models. Perhaps the difference between mangda and normal Thai fellas is that our blokes have been raised with a decent dose of respect for themselves and others.

    • Like 2
  14. good point on the model the father set. My FIL is a coconut farmer and he and his wife have worked side by side for nearly 60 years. They spend most their time together, do talk altho if they do about emotional stuff (which I doubt) its behind closed doors.

    When hubby and I got married and were filling out the forms I said, when is your parent's birthdates. He had no idea. I couldn't believe it and said how can you not know?? So we go to his Mom and Dad's house and ask Mom and she said, "I don't know. Let me go look at my ID."

    To this day Thai people are amazed that I know my parents, sisters, nephews and nieces birthdates.

    try explaining that one to the immigration folks here when anon never remembers any dates liek: when did u get married (amphur or village ceremony?, when is bina's birthday?ummm; how old are her kids? not sure... etc etc.....

    Oh god yes! Trying to work out the birthdates of hubby's 7 siblings including one that died as a child, for his visa application was the worst. His mother had no idea, she just remembered the seasons they were all born (and the season the one child died).

    Bina, Happy 50th and glad you had a wonderful day and got a present. See, you CAN teach an old dog/hubby new tricks!

    To the OP I have no advice - hubby and I haven't had any children together (although he is Dad to my youngest) and we have never had any major disagreements or communication problems. But I wish you all the best.

  15. So glad to hear that you guys are talking about how things will work (and where smile.png ). Your son is such a happy little guy that I'm sure he'll do fine wherever he is, at least for the next few years and you can always supplement his English with some home-schooling. Maybe there are some families in town that would pay for some supplementary tutoring in English too. Thinking good thoughts for you!

    • Like 1
  16. Hi there, sorry I don't check in this forum very much anymore. I am guessing it should have cost around $3,000 but in our case due to all the delays, extra cattery fees & repeat blood tests due to our BAD agent, it was just over $4,000. I mentioned above but my friends were very happy with the service they received shipping via Singapore.

    • Like 1
  17. Thanks David. No GF's here! Thai hubby might listen to it though laugh.png

    Lenny that's the problem...I did Google it. And ended up on a site that bombarded my computer with viruses. I thought someone here might know a reliable service that didn't do that.

    Endure, will try that too. Thanks clap2.gif

  18. I would probably consider somewhere else in Thailand or a regional country where you could be more comfortable and form support networks, where you would have a better choice of education for your son, put some distance between you and the in-laws and your hubby could see if he can make a go of working and supporting his family in Thailand. I love my Isaan in-laws and love our house up there but could never live there for all the reasons outlined above, but primarily education (my daughter is in high school & doesn't speak enough Thai to go to a local school).

    We lived in Bangkok with regular visits to Isaan and found it worked very well for us. However hubby was not able to find a decent-paying job and my contract finished, so ultimately we came back to Australia after 4.5 years, where we are both happy. We have a great house, I have gone back to my job and hubby has been studying full-time. It sounds like your husband is very adaptable, after all he lived in the UK and it sounds like he quite enjoyed it, so perhaps a move within Thailand or regionally would not be such a big stretch.

    We haven't come across the hubby-partying-with-his-friends aspect yet but he's just gone back for his first visit, so I would expect a certain amount of celebration. Then again he's in his late 30s and a bit past the party-boy age and his father still keeps a tight rein on him, so maybe not! We'll see, when daughter & I get back to Thailand next week.

  19. The old man's still alive. He's still got somebody taking care not depending on any money that's coming in or not. I do not even wish that my enemies have to suffer like he does.

    There's another Australian old man, without any relatives or fiends two beds away from him. Also very sick. Tried to help him a little as well.

    Should anybody live in Ubon area, the German and the Australian are in building three, 4th floor.

    If you have the Australian's details (name and date of birth) email them to [email protected] Depending on how sick he is, the embassy may be able to try to find his family to let them know about his situation.

  20. I must say I admire anyone that can live full time in their hubby's village. Having our own beautiful, wonderfully airy, cool house has made it easier to visit but 2-3 weeks is still my limit :) Hubby is going back soon for 2 months and the rest of us will join him for the last couple of weeks. He will do the hard labour on father-in-law's farm first and then we will spend a week or two working on our own place when I am there. I am originally a farm girl and thought i was tough but living without electricity or running water and cooking over charcoal fires is really really hard, really just like glorified camping. Luckily I really like my father in law and the personal relationships with other family members are good, but I'm not sure they would remain that way if I were there full-time!

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