YoungFarang13

a mixed child will generate more income in the future for the family... i hope thats not what they/she is thinking.

how so? it's not guaranteed that all mixed kids are attractive and can be models. are u refering to bilingualism or something?

on average, mixed kids are more attractive thus are more likely to make a higher salary have more options than a Thai child. just think of the sin sot she could command from guys like me in 20-30 years when we turn 50, or how much she could make in working in the upper class bars in bangkok. plus, you never know she could be the next tata young/leuk male pop sensation.

Don't agree. I think full Thai kids are far more attractive.

some men prefer women who weigh twice as much of them. it just means your taste differs from the norm. it does not change the norm.

a mixed child will generate more income in the future for the family... i hope thats not what they/she is thinking.

how so? it's not guaranteed that all mixed kids are attractive and can be models. are u refering to bilingualism or something?

It seems in the public pysche over here that children of a mixed race will earn more money, although I am sure this is often not the case. Factors that will possibly contribute to them earning a higher wage include the bilingualism that you mentioned. I should also image they will benefit from growing up in a multi cultural environment so will possibly understand how to think 'outside of the box' more, something that many of us 'one culture' people are perhaps less able to do (although I am sure we all consider ourselves to be multi cultural as we live here, yet often heckle the Thais for how they are!). Then there is the greater ease and opportunity to travel, and perhaps even go to university overseas. As an employer here in Thailand all of those factors would definately make a candidate more attractive, and I would certainly consider paying them more if they had such skills to offer.

its an indisputable fact that attractive people earn more money, are more likely to get a job/position, etc.

bottom line is that poor people have children as a way of generating income. that is why the third world birth rates are astronomical compared to the west. mom needs someone to pay the bills when she is older, having a child is the insurance plan. having a mixed child is an even better plan.

gl.

Yes, and whilst the world is the way it is we should not frown upon it. We really can't expect Thailand to take the moral high ground whilst the elderly starve to death. Iincrease salaries, tax fairly, set up a welfare state, then watch birth rates come down. Dont expect birth rates to go down before people can be sure of their care when they are unable to take care of themselves. We have seen a century of state care in Europe, what precceded that was centuries of what goes on here in Thailand.

i am not complaining. i am just hoping they dont get thing right before i die.

u can get married without the ceremony you know.

a mixed child will generate more income in the future for the family... i hope thats not what they/she is thinking.

how so? it's not guaranteed that all mixed kids are attractive and can be models. are u refering to bilingualism or something?

It seems in the public pysche over here that children of a mixed race will earn more money, although I am sure this is often not the case. Factors that will possibly contribute to them earning a higher wage include the bilingualism that you mentioned. I should also image they will benefit from growing up in a multi cultural environment so will possibly understand how to think 'outside of the box' more, something that many of us 'one culture' people are perhaps less able to do (although I am sure we all consider ourselves to be multi cultural as we live here, yet often heckle the Thais for how they are!). Then there is the greater ease and opportunity to travel, and perhaps even go to university overseas. As an employer here in Thailand all of those factors would definately make a candidate more attractive, and I would certainly consider paying them more if they had such skills to offer.

its an indisputable fact that attractive people earn more money, are more likely to get a job/position, etc.

bottom line is that poor people have children as a way of generating income. that is why the third world birth rates are astronomical compared to the west. mom needs someone to pay the bills when she is older, having a child is the insurance plan. having a mixed child is an even better plan.

gl.

a mixed child will generate more income in the future for the family... i hope thats not what they/she is thinking.

how so? it's not guaranteed that all mixed kids are attractive and can be models. are u refering to bilingualism or something?

on average, mixed kids are more attractive thus are more likely to make a higher salary have more options than a Thai child. just think of the sin sot she could command from guys like me in 20-30 years when we turn 50, or how much she could make in working in the upper class bars in bangkok. plus, you never know she could be the next tata young/leuk male pop sensation.

a mixed child will generate more income in the future for the family... i hope thats not what they/she is thinking.

for those saying "how much would you pay your mother in law back home"...

you do realize that most Thais do send money to their parents. therefore, if you marry a thai lady, either she can continue working and send the money she earns to her parents, or you can send it for her.

while many farang are conned into paying too much or whatever, its not like the system is completely corrupt. also, a large percentage of thai parents/grand parents live with their children which obviously leads to their children spending money on them.

Bang Kwang looks like a walk in the park compared to some of the other ones on there. Also, good to see they have Guantanamo Bay listed.

yeah, i would much rather be in any african prison than an American prison where I have not recieved a trial...

seriously, guant being on the list is completely silly and pandering.

i just think his relationship works much easier in Thailand than it does in the Usa. for one thing, having a husband twice your age is acceptable in Thailand. its not unnormal. other girls will envy her. when she goes to the Usa, i have no idea what a 20 year old farm girl who might or might not speak English is going to do all day? if she starts socializing, then she is going to realize that marrying a man much older than you is not acceptable in most Americans eyes. I think its possible that this could have a negative effect on her. 20 year old Americans are going to say stuff to her like "You are so pretty why do you have to stay with that old guy? Thats like totally unfair. You should like have your freedom." If you initiate her into a Thai community, well the warnings have already been given, so..... What is she going to be doing in America all day and what is her future going to be like? and just to clarify, age differences don't bother me at all. i am sure every man wants to come home to a nice young p everyday.

Its funny, most the people I know with Thai wives dont pay the mother inlaw anything, I know of only one guy, but he does everything for his wife and she wears the pants in there relationship. I know Thai's and farangs who dont give anything. I think these girls most people meet are having you on.

Look I can understand you may send a small amount of money a month if her parents are poor, but if they dont have any money problems and well off why would you.

lol, either you have an absolutely minimal number of farang friends who are married to thai ladies, or you only mingle in the upper social circles. Just look at this thread. The majority of Thais, that means > 50% do send their parents money or support them. As for farang with Thai wives, lol, yeah they are definitely kicking back to her parents. Dont be ridiculous.

There must be a guideline, right?

In the end it's all a question of numbers. Assuming you are biologically sound I guess you want to get laid 2-3 times a week which at current market rates of 2000 baht a pop (including room and refreshments) would set you back 2-3 mil over a 10 year period. Marriage and sin sod might seem a suitable alternative in this case.

such a romantic.

Thais often get a rough deal at the hands of their Thai employers but if there's one thing that I cannot abide, it's westerners who come over here and do the same because they know they can get away with it. Sure, there are plenty of fair and honest foreign employers in this country but there's also a reasonable number who are happy to exploit the lack of rights and protection that workers have in this country. I could go on to be very specific in my accusations but I'd be breaking forum rules in doing so. I've seen and heard enough in my time here that'd put some of these guys firmly at the mercy of courts and tribunals were they to do the same back in their home countries.

Sometimes "when in Rome" is not applicable!

so how much did it cost to buy her out of the contract?

just curious, if she is in the usa and some of the other teenagers invite her to a party is she allowed to go?

i dont remember hearing about someone losing yen

did they at least engrave your name on the toilet or have a sign designating that you sponsored it? ground breaking ceremony?

500.00 a month is more than enough to support the whole family. If you can afford this monthly "gift" to the family, then it should suffice in place of any sin sod lump payment.

Explain this to your fiance.

If however, marrying in Thailand, a "show" of gold and cash will be displayed at the wedding...most modern parents return this to the newlyweds...but not all of them.

If your gal expects 2 mil...AND a monthly payment of 500 dollars, she is either naive, or taking advantage of you.

A one time sin sod of 100,000-200,000 baht is what you should reasonably expect to pay...and 2 or 3 baht (a standard weight measurement) of gold as well.....then a small monthly payment to help the family (5000-8000 baht) could be sent by the both of you if you choose to do so.

Don't let yourself be considered a bottomless ATM. You have your futures to look out for...and it's irresponsible and selfish for the parents not to consider your future together.

Discuss this fully with the fiance and family before you get visa's etc.....bring it out in the open, and don't be pressured.

Think with your big head.

Good Luck.

My plan has been to pay no more than US$5,000 and give the family $150-200 per month. I will not be deviating from that too much. If it all falls to hel_l, then what can I do. Meant to be...... I'm a generous guy, but I have my limits. So far, I've already given her over $3,000 (I don't pay when I'm there in Petchaboon).

you are already paying $500 a month why would they accept $150-200 now?

i still reckon she's playing you like a violin.

just cause he is double her age does not mean that she is playing him. its pretty common for 14-20 yo thai girls to cry when their boyfriend or parents says no to something or that its their bedtime.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

having heard all the details, i think you should ask them if you can pay the 2m over 2 or 3 years, making quarterly payments. this way her mom and granny who are both very nice will not feel sad that the mean neighbors daughter got more from her farang husband. meanwhile, you can take their daughter to America to live which as you said is all granny wants (besides the 2m) and i have no idea what shell be doing in america, but i am sure she will love it. good luck.

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

if her mom is living in a village somewhere in isaan, she was probably living on 2-3k a month. now you are sending her 15K baht which is wayyy more then the average Thai makes. so i ask, what was her monthly salary/stipend before you came along and why did you triple/quadrouple it? again, it is your money and you can spend it however you want. if it makes you happy to give more, give more, but i am just pointing out that it seems likely that you overpaying by a wide margin.

One of the show girls in living dolls told me she earns 50-60 k every month, .you wouldnt get that one walking the buffalo for $500 a month ! ( im only joking )

and how much of it does she manage to save?

nothing, ! price of drugs have skyrocketed in pattaya !

blindeddddddddd by the light

the op was too elaborate to be a troll, imho. i go out every day and from what i see, i am guessing OPs are a ten baht coin a dozen.

does waking up in the middle of the night punching me because i dream cheated on her count as schizo?

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

if her mom is living in a village somewhere in isaan, she was probably living on 2-3k a month. now you are sending her 15K baht which is wayyy more then the average Thai makes. so i ask, what was her monthly salary/stipend before you came along and why did you triple/quadrouple it? again, it is your money and you can spend it however you want. if it makes you happy to give more, give more, but i am just pointing out that it seems likely that you overpaying by a wide margin.

One of the show girls in living dolls told me she earns 50-60 k every month, .you wouldnt get that one walking the buffalo for $500 a month ! ( im only joking )

and how much of it does she manage to save?

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

Well my wife is one of 10 children, of the married sisters,none were /are bgs,. here are her comments when asked this question, normally its a volunteered amount, not a demand or or a request, one of the husbands gave flowers as he had no money, he told mother in law he was in love with her sister and would look after her, they are still 20 years on happily married,other dowrys ranged from 6.500 baht to 150.000..by the way 2 of the husbands are farang, neither of us has been asked for a penny since the marriage, so whether its "REAL MEN " or not i dont know, but i think its more like is it a "REAL " woman,or a gold digging bg,..in most cases where people i know have married a bg they do pay monthly as in most cases they have had their girlfriend quit work, then of course the wages have stopped and the men take over as breadwinner,.unfortunatly greed also takes over and the family in most of these cases get out the farang milking machine,.some can see this coming,others jump right in,.if it smells wrong, it will be,.

Thank you for the comments. That is very helpful.

I don't believe this smells bad. Currently, her neighbors daughter and other young ladies in her villiage have married Farang's and one Farang paid 2M Baht. Since then, she has asked me how much I am going to give her mama. I don't know exactly how to answer...yet.

just so you know, sin sot is supposed to be given back to you after the ceremony. but maybe the cultural rules differ for farang spouses. It sounds like that is the case here. Better come up with the 2m before she meets another bloke who can.

What is sin sot?

thai words for dowry presented to wifes parents at marriage ceremony, and then given back to the couple afterwards (traditionally). there is a sticky in the general forum on it. if you dont speak thai yet... maybe its not the best time to get married?

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

if her mom is living in a village somewhere in isaan, she was probably living on 2-3k a month. now you are sending her 15K baht which is wayyy more then the average Thai makes. so i ask, what was her monthly salary/stipend before you came along and why did you triple/quadrouple it? again, it is your money and you can spend it however you want. if it makes you happy to give more, give more, but i am just pointing out that it seems likely that you overpaying by a wide margin.

once you start giving sin sots and large amounts of money that you dont expect to receive back, it feels like itll open the flood gates to me.

i have many thai friends whose parents bug them constantly about money, they play down their income and they also set budgets and stick to them. you dont have to look any furthor from Thaivisa to see guys being ate alive by their wife and her relatives. good luck.