EvilDrSomkid

I'll never forget my first night in Thailand when I actually went down to the guest house reception and said to the guy "excuse me but there's no toilet paper in the bathroom". I genuinely didn't know Thai's did it another way.

Now I'm all converted to the hose. It's cleaner and more refreshing. But I am still at a loss about that guest house room, and anywhere else for that matter, where there is no hose - but instead a huge barrel of water and a plastic sauce pan. I would really love for somebody to explain to me how that works. There's no water pressure for starters so how the hel_l do you reach? Last time I checked water was also subject to the laws of gravity, so how the hel_l do you pour water downwards onto your arse hole without getting 90% of the water on the floor or your clothes?

Somebody, please explain this to me.

I think it involves using two hands. You figure out where the left hand goes...

Anyone know in basic terms what I need to do to have a legal marriage in Thailand. I am a UK citizen and she is a Thai citizen.

Quick bit of background:

My Thai GF and I plan to marry in the next 12 months but due to the expense of the Sin Sodt and other wedding expenses she is going to do so without telling her parents, a shotgun wedding of the Thai variety if you like.

What documentation do we need to do this? Is it a straight forward procedure? What should I bring from the UK?

Also Is there some sort of ceremony/ritual be can get? Would be nice to feel we had actually done something symbolic other than signing a piece of paper. Would be good to get photographs etc as well as would support her settlement application.

Neither of us have married before, have children and are both 30 years old.

Brian, first off: Congratulations.

Secondly, like some people have said, don't do the shotgun thing. Just don't.

If you do, you will have problems with your in-laws for a long time.

What kind of background does your fiancée's family have?

Have you met Paw and Mae? How did that go?

Just go to them, talk to them about it. Say you cannot afford sin sod, especially if you do not get it back.

You do need a Cerficate of no impediment to Marriage from your homecountry.

What kind of

You need your name in a house register in order to register ownership of the car in your name.

Can you explain what a "house register" is? I assume that with a retirement visa and living in a rented condo or apartment will qualify me?

Thanks!

Its called the Tabien Baan. The famous yellow book.

FWIW, a foreigner can own a car in Thailand. The registration is little different. Check out the Motor sub forum.

Thanks for the advise. Yes, I can't imagine anyone agreeing to that, especially after literally no tests. Just months of attempted but failed medicating treatment.

I most definitely will get a 2nd and perhaps 3rd opinion... I have had surgeries before and know its something that should be completely avoided if possible.

If you need another quality hospital, you could also try Vejthani Hospital on Th Lad Phrao. Near Soi 107.

My wife was there for some weird bleeding and bellypain, they ran her around with all kinds of tests before a single cut was made. Which was necessary it turned out.

No idea if they are affordable for you. The operation was a success so I dont care what I paid.

Schumi was only the Stig on that particular show.

If you look closely, the body posture is not the same as the "regular" Stig they have been using the last few years.

They had him on that show because he is the only one allowed to drive that FXX.

I often wonder if Thais living in the USA, UK, Europe (I guess anywhere else in the world) have a forum and if so, what do they discuss.

For instance, I wonder if Thais living in USA have a forum where they ask "Where to buy bread making machine?", or "What's the best time to visit Las Vegas?", or "Does my American husband only love me because I'm young and beautiful?", etc., etc. You get the picture.

I guess what I'm asking is, are most of the questions, comments, concerns, suggestions that we post on here (thaivisa.com) common to expats elsewhere in the world?

I would love to be able to read one of these forums to get a glimpse into their way of thinking in that particular country. Just like I'm sure some of the Thais would laugh, shake their head, get angry, etc. at some of the things we write because (probably) a lot of the comments we make are based on misunderstandings, stereotyping, anger, etc.

Any ideas or comments about this?

http://www.asiafinest.com/forum/

if TV were parental guidance ....... this is XXX

They sure tear into each other on that site.

A quote:

"Only dumbasss fake thai want to swim across mekong to Laos, when you have boats and bridges to use. If you need help in thinking let me know. "

edit: Thanks for the link. VERRRRY educational. The ethnic insults are thick and fast.

Even the layout is the same as TV.

Spray and drip-dry here. You need to add that to the poll.

I second that.

This has just become my favorite thread on TV.

3 pages already on how to clean your ass! 55555

Love bum guns. Don't understand my buddies that they complain about getting their as all wet. After a while you learn how to aim straight for the "spot". It very nice after you have eaten some serious gaeng keowaan.

I just feel filthy without a bumshower now. Actually, I include the head downstairs, too. Keeps it fresh...

I guess Time readership must be down. What a bunch of <deleted>.

If someone had not mentioned it, I do not think I would have make the association.

Call it cognitive dissonance.

Besides, there is no political party in Thailand that gives a flying f*** what the world outside (or inside) Thailand thinks about them.

NEXT!

I have found a solution for junk mail! They always include a card or envelope for my response which says that first class postage will be paid by the sender on delivery; I just glue it to a brick, put my return address on it, and drop it in the mailbox. It's usually the last I hear from them.

now to think of a SPAM eQuivilant...

That's pretty good actually.

When, through no deliberate fault of your own, you get a bad reputation locally because a small sector of people decide they like to stir the sh*t, for whatever reason, be it jealousy, being overlooked, ignored, their face put out because you do not want to know them, or for petty revenge because you refused to date them or have dumped them because of excessive demands.

They start to talk and make up stories you yourself know to be untrue. Even start to get to people you have long friendships with and make life difficult for them also and it is starting to affect your social life and also any future prospects you may have locally, what do you do?

The obvious and easy answer seems to be to move on.

That means moving the car, the m/c, furniture and all the other sundry items you have acquired over time.

You can sell the car and the m/c but at reduced cost especially when they see a Farang owner and they want to give you as little as possible.

Things like the fridge freezer, washing machine, computer, bed and furniture are not so easy to sell here. Do you either take them with you and that means an unfurnished place or dump them? Also means finding an unfurnished place that is suitable when it might be easier for the future to be in a furnished place so you can simply 'up and go'.

Or do you hang on in there. Put up with or ignore the sh*t and get on with life and hope the stirrers find another target for their gossip and innuendo?

Yo G, could you please be a little more specific? Just nit noi. If you have a case of a woman scorned (as in hel_l hath no fury like), you might have trouble.

Do you know who is making you look bad? If yes, have it out with them. If no, you find out.

You will also find out who your real friends are in the town.

Move? It will just make you lose even more face.

Chohk dee khap.

The wife told me it causes liver trouble. Can make it fail actually. So combining with Lao Khao is not a good idea. I did hear that you have to eat mangosteen afterwards.

Dont care for Durian or Mangosteen. Will drink Lao khao on occasions, but only the 40%. The 30% does not taste quite right.

I have seen a video of somebody having 5 of those larvae pulled out of their skin. Its quite revolting.

Luckily, I have nver had this happen in the LOS. Left stuff to dry on the bungalow balcony on KPN all the time without trouble.

The routine is always the same. They signal me to stop, come up and demand my license (I have a Thai one). Then they make up some sort of offense ("You took the card too fast", "You started too fast after you got the card", You were approaching the toll booth too fast"). Then they tell me that I'll have to drive to some far-away police station in 2 days to pay the fine and retrieve my license. Of course, I offer to pay the fine immediately, and they demand 500 THB. It's always settled at 200 THB, and I go on my way with my license.

Gregory

They tried this on a friend and I as we were driving to Future Park Rangsit. Despite being the slowest car on the highway he said we were speeding. Same deal,far away police station, licence to be retrieved in 2 days....velly inconvenient ..

" So how much is the on the spot fine cuntstable ? "

" Er.......1500 baht "

We both burst out laughing at this and so agreed to give him the licence and we would retrieve it from wherever. But first we will need your name , number and rank and we'll just take a quick picture of you please.

" Why ???? "

" Because, if we have to go to get the licence they will ask who took it and where so we'll need some details "

Now followed some back peddling.

" Well, I've never taken anybody's licence before because it is sooooo inconvenient "

" But we havn't got 1500 baht "

" How much have you got ? "

" Not much, we were going to the bank at Future Park to get some . "

" How much is not much ? "

After a quick rumage through my emptyish wallet

" 68 baht "

" Well, just give me the 60 and I'll let you go this time "

" Thanks cuntstable. "

I have torn past police at high speed, left and right, so many times and never understand why they don't do anything.

What type of car do you drive?

I'm happy to see them doing the job and making roads safer, but being constantly stopped for no reason is annoying.

Then, it was a 2001 Altis 1.8. One of the most common cars around.

Making the roads safer? Hardly. If they would really be serious about making roads safer, then they would arrest 80% of truckies, bus drivers, van drivers and every single kid on a motosai.

The BIB don't give flying f*** about safety as long as they get their money.

I've been driving between Pattaya and Bangkok for years on the motorway without problems. I'm a cautious driver, and always drive slowly and carefully.

Two months ago I became aware of numerous motorcycle Highway Police waiting at the Bang Na toll plaza (direction to Pattaya). They are on foot and randomly stop a large number of cars usually including me. I'm never at fault of any kind, and indeed the first they see me is when I'm actually stopped picking up the toll card.

The routine is always the same. They signal me to stop, come up and demand my license (I have a Thai one). Then they make up some sort of offense ("You took the card too fast", "You started too fast after you got the card", You were approaching the toll booth too fast"). Then they tell me that I'll have to drive to some far-away police station in 2 days to pay the fine and retrieve my license. Of course, I offer to pay the fine immediately, and they demand 500 THB. It's always settled at 200 THB, and I go on my way with my license.

I realize every expat sometimes has this experience, however the frequency of it happening has increased at a astonishing rate. And it's ALWAYS the same toll plaza, and the same officers. I feel that Thai government officials and high ranking police are not aware of this "feasting" on our wallets by a group of dishonest police in the same place day-after-day. Has anyone had the same experience at the Bang Na toll plaza heading towards Pattaya? (It's on the elevated motorway in Bangkok where you pick up a toll card, not pay).

I've had positive experiences with the police in Thailand the past 5 years, and find them to be generally good natured and helpful. It's a shame that this pack of greedy Motorcycle Highway Police are soo agressive.

Can someone help alert the authorities?

Gregory

I have seen those dicks at the Bang Na tollplaza many times, too.

However, I have never been stopped by them. Don't know why. I do/did come into the tollplaza at high speed, take my ticket quickly and if possible floor it out of there.

However, everytime I made eye contact I gave them a BIG smile and a nod, they waved hello sometimes as well.

I have torn past police at high speed, left and right, so many times and never understand why they don't do anything.

I have been pulled over just one time and that was at the end of the Chonburi bypass right before it joins the 7 towards SriRacha/Pattaya. Real dangerous place to stop vehicles, but Thai people have no concept of danger anyway.

The BIB was very polite and smiley, I was very polite and smiley, wais all around and the excuse was I overtook on the left. Likely I did. Kui gan nit noi, showed him my license including the prerequisit 100 note and I was on my way.

First rule is do not talk about ... errrr, I mean: be very polite and smile. If you disagree, stay calm, insist "mai chai khap", and they will likely let you go.

I had been looking for an s4, s6, or and s8 for quite some time in Thailand but gave up because I could not find one that had been treated as well as I had wanted it to be. Glad you found a nice s6. It's very difficult for any car to pull up on an s6, as the boost comes on very evenly and the car pulls hard in all gears. I've always been a fan of the S/RS series of Audi, I think they are under-rated or maybe just over-shadowed by BMWs Ms and to a lesser extent, Merc's AMGs.

I stick with SAAB in Thailand because of my mechanic and all of the SAAB guys are top-notch stand-up guys - made friends all around the world just talking about SAABs, and most owners are at least very cordial - and on the same kind of wave-length - 'lagom' is a very Swedish term, something like "just enough." (go to any SAAB forum and you'll see names like "Mike900s" and "ILuvmySAAB" vs. another forum where you'll see names like "RiceKillah" and "12foot-schlong")

Best of luck with your new German gal Give her a honk when I pass ya' on the freeway!

p.s. I guess I'd have to thank you for not buying my car, othewise I'd surely rationalize buying that 850CSI here in the US I was drooling over in the "imported car" thread...

You are welcome.

If you really are interested in an S4 or S6, check out the audiclubthailand.com forum. These guys have the same mentality as the SAAB guys. My wife and I went to one of their meetings last year and the guys are very friendly, welcoming and very enthusiastic. They know a lot about Audis.

Did they ever sell the S8 in Thailand? My dream car is the B7 RS4. I have seen an R8 on Phahonyothin a few month ago.

Pass me on the freeway? Hardly... Not in the corners anyway. An 850CSI huh? Very heavy cars. Have you considered the 335i? Twin turbo...

See you around.

I had a non-turbo 1996 900S Draken 4 years ago. Bought it for 300k - back then. Fell asleep waiting for it to get to 120kph. Tried pulling the floormat out to see if there was some more pedal-range, but to no avail lol... 300K 4 years ago and it was owned by a celeb, so that carries a bit of a premium (for whatever reason, but it does). So 300K now is still over-priced IMO.

The best mechanic at Autec is P'Bo. Pracha is his real first name. He knows EVERYTHING about the classics and also the NG900 series (and the 9-5, not so much the 9-3SS)... he is the main mechanic for the guys in the SAAB club of Thailand. He is my personal mechanic and he is a genius. Ask for him if you buy and go to Autec. Big large dark man. Very nice, though. But I'm not sure he'll work on a non-turbo car.... I have the only white SE in Thailand parked there now, you can find it and say you're a friend of that car's owner.

Distributors run around 30,000 THB too.... so if that's totally gone and then 30k for the evap that's 60k.... but you can get 2nd hand distributors and I know a shop that does the evap for much cheaper (I've heard Autec even sends them here to do them...)

Even if you're not a speed demon, the N/A SAABs are slooow, the only thing that can help is if you have a manual tranny... you have been warned!!! I had that Draken (black on black) for a few months, and couldn't handle it, so I got a 9000CSE Strosek, then a 900SE, then a Classic 4-door, then a Classic 3-door... now... waiting on a 'vert... If you've got questions, pm me. I know pretty much ALL of the SAAB guys in Thailand.

Sawat dii khap K'Ton!

55555.

We talked with P'Bo today at Autec. We were checking out your white 900turbo for while. P'Bo is a very nice man. He actually looks like a classic SAAB 900, prev version. Your ride looks sweet. Bo said it is the only white 900SE manual in Thailand. But why do you have 850R wheels on it? Looks good though. My wife put a post looking for you on SCOT because we were interested in buying it. Anyway, we have found out from P'Bo that the asking price of the black 900S draken we looked at the tent in Taling Chan was ridiculous.

So we went and bought an Audi S6 today.

Its a sweet car. '96, Midnight blue, 1st owner, 101,000km, and runs perfect. 350k baht. I do know something about Audis.

Man, that turbo spooling up put a BIG smile on my face. The wife loves it, too. Actually, she will be driving it most of the time.

It's a small car world around here....

Hope you are well in the US

The wife and I are looking to buy a car. We cannot afford a new car, so we went looking for something in the 250k to 350k range. She said she wanted a 3 series BMW, which I thought was fine. We went to a few tents after having a look on one2car.

The BMWs is that price range are crap. However, at one place there was a nice SAAB 900S coupe for sale. Looked good, just some small dings at the front, 170k KMs on it, and decent interior (the Beamers were rough). They said it been sitting there for about 6 months. They are asking 370k Baht.

I know that the A/C system needs to be filled and that there is always something that needs to be done to an old car.

Anybody know a decent place in BKK with experience with SAAB?

If it's not a turbo (of which there are only a handful, ok two handfulls - of real ones), then you're getting ripped off - by at least 100k THB.

SAABs in Thailand are priced a bit strangely according to the desirability amongst the small group of enthusiasts. For example, the NG900S you mentioned will go for 200k (because nobody wants it) but the SE can go for 400K, and an even older classic 3-door can go for 550K and a classic vert will go for 900K. Doesn't seem to make sense, but it does

The best place to fix a SAAB is at Autotechnic Petchburi rd... the dealer, yes. But until you get to know a mechanic there, that's where you need to start.

(A/C system doesn't need to 'be filled' (that's tent horse malarky and they know it - if it needed to be filled they'd do it for 400 baht at B-Quick for R134A refrigerant), most likely the evaporator is leaking (which happens on *every* NG900) - new evaporator at SAAB, 30,000 baht.)

P.S. If it's a SAAB and it's not a turbo, why buy it... turbos and SAABs go together like... well, they just go together. Period!

Hi jcon,

Yeah, 370k is too much. We know this. We are not going to pay it. Max 300k.

We are well aware that the tent boys will tell you almost all kinds of BS to sell. We know a well respected mechanic that gave us some good advice. He also mentioned the name of a mechanic at Petchburi Rd. A turbo would be cool, but these run at double the price. So the A/C needs a new evaporator, OK, I know that there needs to be some (preventive) maintenance to be done. Oil, filters, possibly distribution belt etc.

Thanks.

BTW, it is a sweet looking car. It has a certain "P'Tamruat pai sii" factor. We will obtain a certain type of sticker on the windshield to improve this. hehe.

The wife and I are looking to buy a car. We cannot afford a new car, so we went looking for something in the 250k to 350k range. She said she wanted a 3 series BMW, which I thought was fine. We went to a few tents after having a look on one2car.

The BMWs is that price range are crap. However, at one place there was a nice SAAB 900S coupe for sale. Looked good, just some small dings at the front, 170k KMs on it, and decent interior (the Beamers were rough). They said it been sitting there for about 6 months. They are asking 370k Baht.

I know that the A/C system needs to be filled and that there is always something that needs to be done to an old car.

Anybody know a decent place in BKK with experience with SAAB?

<deleted> are you complaining about? That's nothing.

Don't tell me you have never run into a store clerk before who get's it wrong. Do you never make any mistakes?

The time it took to fix the mistakes was jot that long. OK, it was hot in there. Big deal.

Dare I remind you: TIT!

Juts deal with it, this the way things work here

Have nice hot day.

The Phetkasem, too? Oh crap...

I need to get out to Nakorn Pathom next week. Anybody have a smart alternative?

Found my wife on TLL...

The King of New York is showing his colours...

JG, why do you think that all other members here are not "young"?

Just to get things clear, how old are you?

It will not help being conceited here. If fact, you will become just as notorious as Mr. Maigo6 and his buddy patklang.

To go ontopic, I have not observed what you refer to. ou see, I am assimilating Thai ways, I just observe what I wish to.

Yesterday, chon buri by pass, bmw m3

Do you do this regularly? I think I might have seen you a few times. On the bypass then on to the elevated tollway to BKK.

What is the colour of you car? A weird green?

If its you, I have tried to chase you a few times. Almost caught you. In an Altis 1.8.

In anycase, awesome sound and cool car.

I have resorted to start at the August 03 archives and read everything from the start!

Very interest I`d must say could read them all day at work

he really knows how to express humour that we can all relate to as thai-fanatics!

That's exactly what I did when I discovered his site.

Makes for wonderful entertainment on quiet days.