GuestHouse

You are living in a part of the world where the ecconomy is booming due to the investment/price of oil. You are 26 years old.

Do the right thing and stay there, make money and enjoy the prime of your life while you can. It's not just money there are a whole lot of life experiences that the world offers a young man.

You should be laying all the foundations for your later life, not ducking out because you think you have enough money to do so.

If you want to move from Canada, then go see the world and all it has to offer before you settle on Thailand.

If you retire in Thailand at 26 you'll be lucky to hold it together past 36.

I'd start thinking beyond Dowry, and consider what is the next payment, and the next.

First questions to ask, who is the father? Where is he? Is he going to be back looking for money?

It's not as simple as, well he left and he takes no interest. Believe me, if you start buying houses and land for your new Thai wife (the mother of this child) then the child is heir to your wealth and at that point the father will start taking an interest.

Why are you giving a child Bht4800 a month? My guess is his mother has never given him that much. Not just that, what lesson are you giving this child? Writ large across your forhead is 'ATM'. You are teaching this child that you are a source of money.

My view on this is that you have already established a relationship based on you paying out. That is never going to change, the only change will be the amounts you pay and the frequency - Take it as read that they will not be reduced.

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PS Guesthouse sei italiano?

No I am not Italian, I'm assigned to a duty post here in Rome for about 18 months (It's a tough job but somebody has to do it)

You are presuably taking on financial responsibility for the child, in which case I'd argue that your contribution is going to be significant and why should you pay a dowry for the privalage of raising someone else's child?

Given the Security, Consumer Protection, Purchase Insurance, sound legal framework, high credit limts and no membership costs of Western Cridit Cards, I'm at a loss why anyone would go begging to be allowed a Thai credit card, doubly so if they are havng to secure the card with hard cash.

The Thai Credit Card Companies have a lot of catching up to do before they'll get my business.

No experience with Panang, but good luck with the move. I myself decided to move out of Thailand for reasons relating to the working enviroment in Thailand and the oportunities elsewhere, a decision other colleagues derided, but the truth is there is a lot of life away from Thailand - a lot more pay too.

I know entirely what you are saying and again wish you all the best of luck.

(Brace yourself for hopefulls PM'ing you for a lead on the job your leaving).

We have to look at the whole number.

Before I was married I had an appartment in Edinburgh that was fully paid for and I had a pension that I have been paying since I was 18, on top of that about a year's salary in savings.

With that under my belt I spent my entire monthly income on cars, holidays, partying, gadgets, endless new hobbies and what is generally refered to as a 'Bl00dy good time'.

When I got married, I inevitably settled down a bit, yes there are costs, but I've since added a house in Oxfordshire (paid for) land, two houses and two appartments in Thailand (paid for), we are considering buying an holiday flat in Rome and my savings have gone up.

So I figure, when I look at the whole number, I'm a lot better off married.

But I would suggest that a Thai girl who is not a virgin is in the same general category as bar girl as a rule of thumb.

And I suggest you are talking out of an orifice usually reserved for other bodily functions.

General categories and rules of thumb are no excuse for utter nonsense like suggesting that any Thai woman who has previously lost her virginity is no better than a prostitute.

Unless proven otherwise claims made about education, sucess and wealth should be treated no different than claims about not being a bargirl.

Moving the power lines is going to involve shutting off the power upstream of the cables, so its a job for the local power company.

The phone lines are not so problematic, you should of course get the phone company to move them, but equally, with a bit of sneaky planning and the help of someone with wiring experience, you could make the move without the user or company ever knowing.

I'd start by deciding exactly what route you want the cables to take, if the route is entirely within the plot you are leasing then you at least have control over getting permission.

Talk to the leesor and get an agreement to the change or route, installation of poles etc. Then talk to the electric company to ask them to make the move for you.

A couple of special payments ought to do the trick, and if you are lucky you might be able to get the Power Company wiremen to move the phone cable for you too. (Perhaps coming back after working hours for a private job).

The question I’d be asking myself in your situation is: “What is best for the children?”

The number of considerations is huge, education, health care, family and social support, income, stability.

Taking education alone: Unless you are able to afford international schooling your children are going to have to attend Thai state schools, a pretty dismal option even if as a parent you understood the workings of the system enough to get the best out of it for your children.

Then there’s your own age and health to consider, you say over 50. What happens if you are unable for any number of reasons to take full care of your children. In Australia you have a range of social services you can call on, perhaps family and friends too.

My advice would be think very carefully about making a move to Thailand, as a single parent at your age with children the ages your children are, I’d rate it as a very risky move.

I've read loads of 'A friend of mine', 'A guy I know', 'Someone at my local bar told me'.

But I've never read or had a firsthand report of intimidation, asking or key money yes, changing the deal before the contract is signed, again yes.

But where are the firsthand reports.

Either it doesn't happen, of it happens and scares the sh1t out of the victim to the point where they daren't even post an account on the internet of how they are being done over by the mob/police/local politian.

It starts with a old news and continues to something even more familiar(?)

Read Past the First Few Paragraphs.

That someone needs to "get a life" is without doubt, but I ask who?

I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has enough of his own life so as not to have the time or the inclination to worry about telling other people how to live theirs.

farangsay

There you go again , guesthouse......

Diatribe removed for the sake of brevity

...... May your God go with you , because I don't want him hanging around pestering me.

Now go back to my posts and find where I say I'm a Christian.

I didn’t say he’s racist.

But I do suggest he’s intellectually bankrupt.

Use some common sense and a bit of Thai culture.

Get another Thai neighbor or Thai friend to go with you to talk to the dog owner.

Start by apologizing for the loss of the dog, explain that you do not think it was you, but state categorically that if it was you then you apologize un reservedly.

Explain that on the morning of the accident you were deeply concerned over your daughter's hospitalization and that might have been a reason why you did not notice a dog in the street.

Add that you have until now been concerned over your daughter's health and apologize for not having come to speak to the neighbor sooner.

If they ask for payment, then tell them that you are not willing to pay for an accident running a dog over in the street, but that you are willing to make a donation to the local temple.

If you are unable to do the above, consider moving house as the last thing you need anywhere, especially in Thailand, is aggrieved neighbors.

The consequences of rampant credit card fraud in Thailand are not just higher costs to credit card users.

The direct consequences include the lack of confidence in Credit Cards in Thailand, resulting in difficulties using, obtaining and even having a credit card posted to Thailand.

As for Jaidam’s rant against asylum seekers – I take it Jaidam didn’t start his life in Thailand, but is happy to move there. - The 'Little Britain Rant' is best saved for use while actually in Britain (probably best in some BNP infested public house).

What does your contract say about lost deliveries?

I'd then go and ask the shipper to provide you with a record of the item's receipt and forwarding.

If the item was registered when you delivered it, they must have a record of where it went.

Chase them down.

And here's another Bible Basher - You'll find him working in Klong Toey with drug addicts, HIV/AIDS sufferers, Orphans, the stateless and the poor.

Father Joe

Just because you don't understand the cultural and religious rules of the country you've come to play in doesn't mean to say there are no cultural and religious rules.

And perhaps that is what is at the heart of the post, Christian Missionaries are reminding you of the cultural and religious rules that you do understand.

I've read some <deleted> on TV but the Opening Post here is among the worst.

Has he any idea of Thai cultural values towards sex? - It seems not. Did he even ever have that conversation with a Thai regarding Christian Missionaries?

Rather than rush to rant against Christian Missionaries in Thailand, take time look at some of the work done by Christians in Thailand (particularly in the areas of caring for orphans, the stateless, and people suffering from HIV/AIDS)

Very many of the problems created by the sex industry in Thailand are taken care of by faith groups of which the Christian Community are perhaps the most active and visible.

As for the message they are putting out - Well it's obviously reached this forum, so it is to some extent hitting its mark.

I put the whole Thai lack of public manners down to the emphasis on family in Thailand - Oft quoted as a good aspect of Thai society few examine the impact on Thais interaction with people outside of their group.

Thais are handicapped in social interactions outside of their family/extended family/work group.

It's not just manners, it's taking care of the environment beyond their own gate, charity, moving into external social circles, being introduced to strangers - The list goes on and on.

It has nothing to do with education, I know very well educated Thais who struggle with social reactions.

But here's a thing, I've also observed educated Thais moving into international corporation offices, indeed moving overseas - The very quickly pick up on what is expected in them in terms of courtesy.

I suspect they loose it just as quickly back home, but it does demonstrate they understand courtesy and why or at least when it is important.

I do a lot of business flying - and I mean a lot - I usually fly Business Class so my experience of upgrades has been limited to personal flights. I've been upgraded half a dozen times in the past ten years or so - with the exception of once time I am sure it was simply because I have a gold membership with the airline.

From my own observations I honestly believe that you are far more likely to get an upgrade if you are a young, attractive and presentable female travelling on her own.

I have a friend who worked for a while at LHR check in and she once commented that they see hundreds of passangers a day asking for upgrades, they even play games trying to spot the people who are going to ask for upgrades - Guys standing in the ecconomy queue wearing a business suite are apparantly easy 'spots'.

First up I think is take some time off work when she comes over to spend time helping her find her way around. If you live where a car is necessary, encourage her to take driving lessons and drive.

Definately encourage her to enrol at school for English and perhaps other classess too. Following on from what sbk says, English for foreigner classes can be great as they are full of people who are new to the country, going through the same settlement issues.

Then there's work - Hugely important as it enables a lot of things, life outside of the home, contribution, self estime.

My wife tried all sorts of work, but found charity work to be the best thing she did in her first year outside of Thailand - Charities attract the kind of people who like to give time and effort for others - My wife found the charity shop she worked in a very possitive help to her settling in.

I'd suggest some caution with respect to jumping in with Thai friends, it is seldom as straightforward as we might imagine.

Soon after moving to the UK my wife was invited to join a group of Thai women she met at college for a night out - She went out all excited at meeting some Thai friends but returned home an hour and later 'Not her sort' was all she said at the time. She revealed later that the issue was one of different backgrounds - We need not go into details, suffice it to say that as your wife is from a regular office girl background she might find few friends of similar background.

There is another problem and that is the one I recently referred to here on TV as 'Khun Latch', making friends with Thais overseas is easy enough, getting rid of them can be a bit difficult.

Oh and there's one other possitive help - Your own family. Almost every sucessful Thai/Farang relationship I know of in Europe is backed up by the family of the Farang welcoming and supporting the new Thai member of their family.

I haven't tested our water yet, but I plan to test for Biological Contamination, followed by Organic Chemicals (Agro Chemicals) and I'll also test for Non organics (metals) - The latter because I have a bore hole that goes pretty deap (60meters).

At 4 meters I'd be concerned over organics (sewage contamination, burried garbage and ground water running into the well).

Having gone to the trouble of a well, I'd have made a bit more effort and put a bore hole in.