GuestHouse

Careful with these numbers.

In the UK the condition known as ADHD was hardly on the radar, cases were recorded and doctors were trained to pick it up during surgery visits, but the figures remained low.

They shot through the roof when the British Government announced special welfare payments to families with children suffering ADHD. I personally know one parent who tried several times to get her child diagnosed with ADHD in order to get the welfare payments. There was nothing wrong with the child.

Likewise US statistics, where there is a whole private, profit making industry catering to mental illness - There are financial rewards for over reporting.

I bank with Lloyds in the UK, I have never had a problem with them sendnig me cards (replacements when expired, replacements when lost or replacements when I had my card cloned).

I've had cards sent to Thailand serveral times, Singapore, Japan and recently Italy. Why should it be a problem? The card is inactive until you receive it and confirm receipt by answering a string of security qestions over the phone.

I wear dog tags with my medical insurance details on them.

I take the view that they are not likely to be stolen, I have a friend who had a lovely gold SOS bracelet, well you can imagine can't you.

I can't imagine anything further removed from Thai culture than a boarding school. Going to live with relatives near a bigger school, definately.

Being sent away from family and friends, definately not the Thai way.

I'd put a solar heater in, one unit will provide hot water for the whole house. Installation costs are higher, but there are no running costs.

The cost of electricity is going only one way.

A solicitor here looked at the form and said that he would not be able to help her and the British Embassy will not either.

Get another Solicitor. One who understands that he can act on behalf of a client by means of Power of Attourney. (A Solicitor in the UK - Never give Power of Attourney to a Thai Lawyer)

I'd also have all the forms pr-completed with only final details to be finished (dates/signatures etc) and a full list of instructions to the solictor with respect to obtaining certified translations of documents.

Appoint and Executor to your Will in the UK and give him/her a list of instructions of what needs to be done to secure your Wife's pension, contact details, forms etc.

Could be an expensive lesson in life for her, now she should know to never lend money to friends or family

She hasn't lent money; she's stood as Guarantor something infinitely more risky than lending money.

Lend money and the most you can loose is the money

Stand as a Guarantor and you might wind up loosing every single penny you have, your home and the shirt off your back.

Lend money if you feel like you should.

But

NEVER EVER NOT IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS EVER NEVER CONSIDER SIGNING AS GUARANTOR.

The forms and paperwork required for my wife to claim after my death a share on my industrial pension are impossible for my wife to fill in and they insist that they have to be filled in after my death.

I think this is an example of why is necessary to find out how your dependents claim their share of your pension and an example of something that should be perhaps addressed by a solicitor/executor as part of the attachements to your Will.

I certainly think that you should be completing a Statement of Wishes and sending it to your pension Trustees, and I believe that they are then duty bound to ensure your dependents receive the pension for which you have paid.

I'd be right down their throats now, sorting that out.

Oh and don't forget your state pension. I've not looked into this fully yet, but my understanding is your wife is entitled to a UK Widow's pension when you die.

When I've looked into this I'll post more.

Firstly, the basis of making a pension plan should be the needs of you and your dependents, not the disparity between what you are due and that others will receive.

So my first piece of advice is - Keep Paying into your pension.

given that i have paid my pension, and start to recieve my said pension,

if i were to die early would my wife [ thai ] carry on recieving my entitlement until at least my contributions would have been matched.

Your wife is a legal dependent and will be entitled to a Widow's pension if you die before her. The pension she receives will be for the rest of her life.

A couple of things you need to address:

Firstly - Write to your pension trustees/managers and ask for a 'Statement of Wishes' form, in which you will declare that, in the event of your death, you want your wife to be the beneficiary of the pension (This will usually be two payments, a lump sum and a monthly pension - The lump sum will usually reduce to zero in the first five years of your retirement, so if you die directly after retirement your wife gets a bigger lump sum than if she waits two or three years before bumping you off

Secondly - When you write to your Pension Trustees/Managers, ask them two things:

1. Do they need proof of marriage to include your wife in your pension? and if so what (marriage Certificate, Signed statement from you, Translations?)

2. In the event of your death, how does your wife claim her pension and how does she continue to demonstrate she is still alive to claim the pension (Remember she's half a world away from the pension Trustees). Get that sorted out, get it written down, translate it into Thai and place the explanation in a safe place.

I take it you have made a will, if not do so, but do not put your pension in your Will (if you do that you can cause tax problems) The statement of wishes controls your Pension.

However, Do add an attachment to your will. A letter outlining the details of your savings, pensions and importantly, copies of the instructions to your wife of how to claim her rights.

Just Two More Things To Add.

It is very commonly the case that the Pension rules will reduce the size of you wife's pension by a small percentage for each year of age difference between the two of you. This will often start to come into effect when the age difference reaches 10~14 years after which your wife's pension will be reduced by perhaps 2% per year over the maximum allowed in the contract.

The reason is clear, she's likely to live a long time. Be aware of this and if you have difficulty working it out, ask for a pensions forcast including widows pension.

This leads to my last point - If your wife is a lot younger than you (common in Thailand) you should consider the pension she needs and the effect of inflation over her long life.

You can't change inflation of course, but what you can do is maximize the monthly pension to ensure you and she has enough for the years ahead.

Basically, if your wife is a lot younger than you, think very carefully before taking a lump sum out of your pension when you retire.

This is even more important if you have a young child as you approach retirement.

That lump sum might get you the Fortuna you've been promising yourself, but it might leave your widow, and perhaps child, with insufficient funds to live on in the years to come.

There, it was Thailand related.

Yes it can, but the problem is execution of the Will.

If you hold substantial wealth in the UK/US then it makes sense to have a Will and an Executor looking after those UK/US assets.

Likewise it makes sense to have a second Will and Executor looking after your Thai assets.

You can split the two and at the same time follow the golden rule of Wills - "Simple is Best"

I think Boo is giving excellent advice – Offer support, a place to stay and time away from the abuser. I also agree with her advice that at some point you need to be able and willing to walk away from the problem if the abused is not taking the chances being offered.

I think using the power of peer pressure should be considered, a group of friends acting together rather than a single person trying to take the whole load.

Also, have you considered contacting a help group back home, you may find they can provide you with some basic guidelines

I would add some cautions: Think very carefully before getting directly involved, ie calling the police. Firstly the police will almost undoubtedly treat this as a domestic and therefore private matter. More importantly (for you) how will the abuser react? – Having already demonstrated that he violent the last thing you want is for you to become the focus of the violence.

It is not uncommon for the abused to side with the abuser in attacks on those who are trying to help – The psychology is simple (by siding with the abuser they hope to gain appreciation and therefore less abuse) Don’t get caught up in that.

I’d also see if you can find contact details for members of the abused person’s family – You’d need to treat that with care, but maybe it’s possible to enlist family support for the abused without being seen to interfere.

The observation of being tied to the abuser because of wanting to remain in Thailand is very valid and plays out in a huge number of problems many foreigners face in Thailand and I would add, Thais face when they go overseas with foreigners.

Soph’s account of the knife on the way to the airport is horrifying and perhaps a good example of why saying goodbye to abusers is probably best done with a telephone call from the arrivals hall back home.

Since last Autumn, the sister has not made any monthly THB 5,000 payments. So the bank has a bad debt with over 180 days of no servicing

So the Bank is owed Bht30K in payments (Less than two months of your friend's salary).

Tell her to go and EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO THE BANK and ASK THE BANK TO ALLOW HER TO MAKE PAYMENTS HERSELF.

Before we go into a rant against Greenpeace and the environmental lobby, let me add this.

I work in the Oil and Gas business, almost all of my work for the past 20 years has been as a direct result of Environmental and Safety Legislation.

Greenpeace, and others, push for legislation/changes to policy – The policy/legislation eventually changes and large amounts of money are made.

Environmentalism makes sense on a lot of different levels, including but not only caring for the environment.

Living overseas, where you don't have a job (or if you do have a job it's not secure and finding another job would be difficult if not impossible), in a country where the immigration laws as such that you can be denied residence on a myriad accounts (including the immigration officer not liking you for some spurious reason) and in a country where there is no welfare or free medical care.

Now it strikes me, that is not the place and the personal circumstance under which anyone, short of an idiot, would want to risk loosing access to credit.

I think it is a mistake to think that Western ideas about social equality have any relevance in Thai culture

I think it's a bigger mistake to disregard ideas of social equality because you perceive them to be western.

The company that I work for has an equal oportunities policy that we apply in all our offices - Thais take to this with great enthusiasm and I have often heard Thai collegues remark that they enjoy the oportunities they get from working in our company.

I've also witnessed first hand Hi-So Thais overseas meeting members of our staff and struggling with the idea that Thais from seemingly ordinary backgrounds have the lifestyles that they do.

She's your girlfriend, not your wife - Make your choices accordingly.

I would say you need to decide what you want as a couple and what you want as an indvidual, then see what the alignment is like.

Certainly I'd not be buying anything in the name of a G/F and since you say "that in any case you can't afford to buy right now" then she needs to come to terms with the fact that nothing in life comes easy.

She want's something that she can't provide for herself - You are not in a possition to provide it right now (I would say you shouldn't unless you are married).

So she has a choice - Wait until you are married and you can provide her the security she wants or move on.

You have a choice - Sell out your own security - or let her make her own decisions.

I know which I'd choose.

I’d add, she’s not alone in this mess, I have known several Thais and one expat who have gotten into this problem by underwriting someone else’s loans.

It is a particular problem where family members see one person in their family has gained financial credibility with banks/loan companies and then use ‘this family pressure’ which the OP mentions to get their loans underwritten.

The most financially risky thing anyone can do is to underwrite someone else’s debts – You can loose everything on the back of them not paying.

Also be aware that having a Farang Husband is seen as having wealth and that almost certainly comes with approaches for underwriting loans.

Not underwriting loans and the reasons for not underwriting loans is a conversation that I’d advise anyone who marries a Thai to have with their spouse – This family pressure is enormous and we all need to be aware that it is used in exactly the way the OP mentions.

She should make an appointment to go in and talk face to face with the Loan Company.

At that meeting she should explain the situation and affirm her commitment to meet the debt she has signed for. She should ask for a rescheduling of the payments and for all the documents to be sent to her address so she can commence payment.

If she, or her family has collatoral that should be taken along just incase the loan company ask for security.

I'd advise you to stay clear of this, certainly do not attend the meeting with her as the loan company may put more pressure on her to pay up in the expectation that you are going to help out.

If she's unable to do the above, the inevitable consequence will be that the loan company will foreclose the loan and come looking for your friend, her money and any property she owns.

If I have beneficiaries in my home country and a legal wife and family in Thailand, is there any problem splitting the loot several ways? eg, half to my children in my home country, half to my Thai wife. I assume this will would be written and executed in my country by a executor there.

Would there be any difficulty for the executor to realise it all in cash and send my Thai wife her share?

Directing how you want your wealth to be split is exactly what wills are about.

There are a couple of issues you would need to discuss with your lawyer in the UK.

Firstly if your children in the UK are legally dependent on you, under the age of 18 and or in full time education, then they have rights to be maintained by you in your Will

An example might be, if you have a share in a house (shared during a divorce but inhabited by ex wife and any under 18 year old children) then your executor would not be able to liquidate that house while the children remain in the house – up to the time they leave full time education.

Secondly, you may need to consider how you leave money to your wife and child(ren) in Thailand.

The view I take is four things need to be considered:

1. Provision of a Home for your Wife and Child(ren)

2. Provision of an income for your Wife and Child(ren)

3. Provision of future help for your child(ren), higher education, a start in life etc

4. Protection of your children against being dispossessed by a later marriage of your wife and or her family.

The home ought to be quite straight forward, provided funds are available, and may in any case already be owned.

Because of peculiarities of Thai family culture, I would recommend securing an income for your wife and child(ren) rather than a fixed lump sum payment, which might get absorbed by family commitments leaving nothing to provide for the future. I think it is worth considering that with a secure home and a modest income a Thai family can have a very comfortable life. In those respects, protecting the modest income is a far better idea than giving a lump sum.

The problem here is that in the UK we would use Trust Law to provide such incomes, leaving capital in Trust and the Trust to disperse the income according to instructions within our Will. But Thailand has no Trust Law. So if you plan to provide a secure income you would need to do that in the UK – Talk to your UK Lawyer.

Likewise, provision of future help for your child(ren) in Thailand. Basically, you need to secure the fund in a Trust back in the UK and then use your Will to instruct the Trust to pay the money to your child(ren) at a later date.

Protection of your child(ren) against dispossession is a tricky one, not difficult to do, again Trust law was designed to do just that. Rather it requires you to look at how much wealth you have an make some decisions about how you want to distribute that wealth in the interests of your child(ren).

I helped a dear friend formulate his will when he learned he was dieing of cancer and I was executor to that will. This discussion about dispossession proved immensely difficult for his wife, who saw it as a slight on her that she and/or her family might not act in the best interests of their child.

It took a lot of persuading to get both my friend and his wife to understand that the issue is not can his wife and her family be trusted, rather, will they be able to act to protect the child’s interests. For example, what would happen if an aunt/uncle/cousin/brother/sister got into debt?; The same arises with a health problem and medical bills in the family or a second marriage and the risks of a new husband using any lump sum.

What is surely human nature (Not just Thai nature) – If there is a lump sum of cash, reasons to spend it can be found. If there is a steady but modest income a budget will be made and eventually followed.

All of these issues are easily dealt with by lawyers in a Will and are the exact issues that lawyers in the UK deal with on a daily basis.

Take some time to talk to a UK lawyer and to draught your Will. I realize that for some, doing this is difficult, but it should be considered as an act of caring for the people who matter to you. It’s a very caring thing to do.

Oh an please do not forget to contact the Executor’s of any pensions you have and complete a ‘Statement of Wishes’ telling them what you want to happen to your pension after your death. (See my post above regarding not putting your pension in your Will)

Another Perspective On This

An individual can be held back from promotion/responsibility for being Thai – It often happens when they are working with Farangs.

I know a number of Expats working in Thailand who, at every opportunity will launch into a diatribe on the uselessness, unreliability, untrustworthiness of the Thais they work with and how those same Thais are totally unable to complete any task without the careful and constant monitoring of Johnny Farang.

Dig a little deeper and ask Johnny Farang why he came to Thailand and he’ll tell you he was sent by his employers to help train Thais in the company business.

The question that it is he, Johnny Farang, who has failed seems to not arise.

GuestHouse,

Maybe I'm having a thick day but I don't see how your post contains an answer. Can you explain?

Chownah

Come back and read it again tomorrow.

Odd that you should choose a hotel as a case.

A few years back a letter was published in the BKK Post in which a Thai graduate of a European University described his experiences as an employee of one of the very well known top end BKK Hotels.

He described how he had been appointed in a lower post than a fellow graduate of his university (Same class), despite he himself having graduated with the University’s award for best student on the course, despite having received the top grade and despite the other student who was employed in a senior position (and rising) having barely passed the course.

A few days later the personnel manager of the hotel replied. What he said was telling. They noted the qualifications of the letter writer during his interview, but also noted that he was from a poor background and were not able to reconcile his background with having attended one of the most prestigious universities in Europe. He went on to say, that while the other candidate had lower grades there was no doubt over his access to the university.

But it did not end there.

A few days later, the director of the NGO that had sponsored the poor student to attend the university wrote to outline the history of the student. He had been spotted as an extremely bright student by a teacher working for the NGO at the student’s up-country school. The NGO had provided the student with a scholarship, including language training and sent him to sit the university entrance exams. He passed entry and later graduated as the top student, reaffirming their faith in his abilities.

There, then, it would seem is your answer.

As neither of you are Thai then the first piece of advice I would give is: Take especial care and give careful consideration of how much of your capital you wish to move to Thailand.

If you are not yet retired you might want to seek advice from a financial planner/accountant on how best to invest your money in order to finance your life overseas.

I would also take legal advice in the UK before you move capital overseas, or make overseas wills.

To correct one misconception, English Inheritance Law is not troublesome – It is very straight forward and provides extremely good safeguards for dependants and families via two reliable vehicles:

1. The laws relating to Wills and Testaments

2. Trust Law (I note here there is no Trust Law in Thailand).

Married couples moving overseas and considering moving their wealth with them should also take careful consideration with respect to Family Law. Family Law provides both partners with significant protections that should not be disregarded – This is especially important for women.

Finally, both the English and Scottish legal systems provide several levels of protection that

are definitely not available in Thailand – Very stringent controls over the actions of solicitors/executors and legal representatives (backed by a criminal prosecution system that does take action when abuse is reported) + The availability of Free Legal Aid under circumstances where the complainant has no funds to pursue a court action.

For the reasons above, I would urge any UK Retiree thinking of setting up in Thailand to leave the bulk of their capital in the UK where it is safe. I would doubly advise any married woman to think extremely carefully before giving up the protections her share of marital wealth has if left in the UK.

Wealth you leave in the UK must be protected by a UK Will.

If you are moving some wealth to Thailand, then your UK will must state that wealth you hold in Thailand is covered by your Thailand Will. Conversely, it is a good idea that your Thai will shall state, wealth in the UK is covered by your UK will.

Again - Take some time to talk to a UK Lawyer with regards making a will in the UK.

If you hold a Private or Company Pension in the UK then you need to give some consideration to how you wish that to be distributed after your death. Typically, your pension will make two levels of payment after your death – A dependent’s Pension and a Lump Sum on your death. This lump sum, where it exists, will usually reduce to zero over the first 5 years of retirement.

You must control these ‘Pension Benefits’ with a “Statement of Wishes” (Your Pension Provider can send you the forms) – You must not control your Pension Benefits in your will. The reason relates to the fact that your Pension is held in Trust, if you place your Pension benefits in your Will you may be placing your pension fund at risk of death duties.

The same applies to Insurance funds - Speak with a Lawyer back home.

A couple of important things about Thai Wills, firstly they must be in the Thai Language and Secondly they must be formally registered.

On the basis that I would not trust a Thai lawyer as far as I could throw him/her. I would advise that you get your will written by a lawyer – Photocopy it to remove all indication of who wrote the will, and then get a full review of the will by a second lawyer from a different law firm. I’d also be getting a translation by an accredited legal translator – I figure that millions of Baht capital is worth a few thousand Baht spent on double checking.

Now something very important:

The law of Trust does not exist under Thai law, moreover, Thai lawyers frequently take advantage of the trust of their clients. For these reasons I would never ever trust a Thai lawyer to be the executor of my will nor would I ever give a Thai lawyer my power of attorney.

You need to think about that, and give careful consideration to who you want to be your executor. I would suggest at least two people in order of (Spouse then children).

If your capital allows, consider providing expenses for your executor. I’ve done the job, its hard work, takes a great deal of time and involves quite a bit of expense.

Make sure your executor has a copy of your will and the details of all banks, account numbers, lawyers, insurance certificates, pension plans, share certificates etc.

As a parting bit of advice, I’m going to repeat what I have said earlier.

Leave wealth you want to protect BACK HOME and protect it with a Will - A will BACK HOME.

Do Not bring wealth you want to protect to Thailand or control that wealth with a Will from Thailand.

Thailand is not the place to put money you, or indeed your dependents, can’t afford to loose.

Oh and one last thought....

The secret to wills is 'Simple is Best', complicated wills make for complicated understanding.

Use the power of percentages (Not 20 million to my wife, 20 million to the cat's home. But 50% to my wife, 50% to the cat's home"...

The problem with discussing this issue is that of “Perception”.

A foreigner (and especially one who does not speak or read Thai), will not receive the same breadth of information relating to crime and risks of crime in Thailand to the same extent as they would at home.

The truth of this can be demonstrated by asking a Foreigner who is married to a Thai about their perceived level of Crime Risk and then ask the same question of the Foreigner’s Thai spouse.

I’ll wager those of you with Thai wives have widely different views of crime in Thailand than your wife does.

As for people who claim they were more at risk of crime back home, that can be a number of things:

Firstly it can be proof of my argument above that we are more aware of crime and the risks of crime in our own society/culture.

Secondly there is the real psychological issue of adjusting to a new country where the immigrant over compensates for his new surroundings, praising his new home and denigrating his origins in a re-affirmation of his choice.

Thirdly, well it’s like those stories of how boring life was before Thailand, you sometimes have to figure some people really have had it rough in the past.