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ballpoint

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    Here are the highlights of the latest Eurovision song contest.
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    Following their recent judgement that only biological women are women, the Supreme Court has ruled on two similar cases. They’ve confirmed that bears do indeed <deleted> in the woods, and the Pope is Catholic.
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    Meanwhile, some international news: The Republic of Dyslexia has tested its first unclear weapon.
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    To all those people that said my tendency to prevarication would hold back my career, just you wait!
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    When I worked in a chocolate factory a man fell into a large vat of bubbly chocolate. My mate Bill was going to jump in to try and save him .... But I said: "Billy.. don't be an Aero."
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