ballpoint

My Doctor told me I'm suffering from hypochondria ...not surprising, I've had everything else.

A Yorkshireman with bad haemorrhoids goes to the chemist and says “as thee any **** cream”? “Aye lad", the chemist replies, "what does tha want, Magnum or Cornetto?”

A pastor went to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened. The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.

On this day in 1913 Walter Wrack first drew up plans for a device to allow luggage to be carried on the top of motor vehicles. His sad early demise meant that the fame and glory for developing and marketing the finished product all fell to his sister Ruth

I think my wife is a drug dealer. I was running late for work this morning and the phone rang. This guy asked if the dope was gone yet.

In that CNN report it says Lukashenko says he just spoke to Prigozhin on the phone in St Petersburg, and then, unasked, suddenly said that he doesn't think Putin will kill him. Seems a strange thing to state if no one actually asked the question.

Sorry, I missed your reply. I was having my 5th movement of the day.

A Pt response.

Trust you to table a comment. I knew it would Pb to that. (A word of advice. Don't sit on a razor blade, or you'll get an As, and don't leave bones around a dog, or it will Cs and Ba)

Only one left now, which is rather sad. To lighten the mood a bit, here's a nice pair of Bristols...