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An old war general is at a banquet by himself A young woman says to her friend "He looks lonely, I wonder how long it has been since he has been with a woman" She walks over to him and says "excuse me when was the last time you had sex" He replies 1955. She replies i will change that for you. They have sex and she is amazed how good he is. After sex she says "I can't believe how good you are after all this time." He looks at his watch and says "its only 2230."

Why did the atheist fail his math class? He didn't believe in a higher power.

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!" The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

When 3 people have sex it's called threesome When 2 people have sex it's called twosome I guess that's why people call me handsome

Why are women so bad at parking? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

Internet discussion: user kiki357: HEEEEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M NEW HERE! user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock. user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!!

Two communists are sitting together at a nudist colony. One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

Wife to her programmer husband: "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen." Husband returns with twelve loaves of bread.

The Judge addressed the drunkard, "You have been brought here for drinking." Drunkard, "Thank you very much your honour. Let's start." All, present in the court, burst out laughing. Banging the gavel, the Judge said, "Order." Drunkard, "For me Whiskey with Soda please."

I too learnt the basics of computing on the Sinclair ZX81. Plugged it in to an old TV - Black & White.

Inventor Sir Clive Sinclair, who popularised the home computer and invented the pocket calculator, has died at his London home aged 81. His daughter Belinda Sinclair said he passed away on Thursday morning after having cancer for more than a decade. Sir Clive's products included the ZX series of computers and his ill-fated C5 electric vehicle. He was still working on his inventions last week "because that was what he loved doing", said Ms Sinclair. "He was inventive and imaginative and for him it was exciting and an adventure, it was his passion," she added. Article