ravip

A tourist decides to visit a Native American Chief who is famous for his perfect memory. "Okay, Chief..." says the tourist, "Let's test that memory of yours. What did you eat for breakfast on May 9th, 1972?" The Chief thinks for a moment, and responds "Eggs." The tourist replies, "Wow, that's incredible! You really do have a perfect memory." and leaves. Ten years later the tourist finds himself in the Chief's neck of the woods and decides to pay him a visit. He enters the Chief's home and respectfully greets him, saying "Hau, Chief." The Chief promptly replies, "Scrambled."

A couple wants to have sex but their son is in the house. The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie " with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities... "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "An ambulance just drove by!" "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike!" "Looks like the Sanders are moving!" "Jason is on his skate board!" After a few moments he announced... "The Coopers are having sex. Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having sex?" " Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

A non medical student attended a Medical exam by mistake. See his answers... 1. Antibody - One who hates his body . 2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. 3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria . 4. Coma - Punctuation Mark . 5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl . 6. Genes - Blue Denim. 7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work . 8. Liposuction - A French Kiss . 9. Ultrasound - Radical Sound that is above human hearing capacity, such as wife's talk. 10. Cardiology - Advanced Study of Playing Cards ..... 11. Dyspepsia - Difficulty in drinking Pepsi. 12. Chicken Pox - A Non-Veg. continental dish. 13. CT Scan - Test for identifying person's city 14. Radiology - The study of how Radio works 15. Parotitis - Information about the parrots. 16. Urology - The study of European people

Can someone please tell me how the Taliban survived a year and a half without masks, social distancing, pcr testing, mandatory vaccines, and now even managed to recapture Kabul and freely rule Afghanistan in the middle of a global pandemic.

VID-20210824-WA0026.mp4

Picky pigeon...

Coffee shop Internet Nothing is ever free these days.

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He could not control his curiosity and asked, "Do you always carry your TV remote with you?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote." Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies... The story continues... The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing. He said, "your husband has blocked your credit card..." MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband. The Story continues... Wife took out her husband's credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card. Moral: Don't underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE. The Story continues... After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'... Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him! The Story continues... She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse. It was her husband's phone showing the forwarded SMS. She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn't call her during her shopping. She bought her items and returned home happily. Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate woman! The Story continues... On getting home, his car was gone. A note was pasted on the door "Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something". Damn... He left with the house key too. *Moral: Don't try to control your husband.

Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to... yes, you guessed it... pull myself together!

I was asked during a job interview.... What is my greatest strength? I replied, " My greatest strength is my ability to give my opinion on anything regardless of other's feelings or concern. " The person interviewing me started to say," I don't see that as a strength rather it's weak...". I quickly said, " I don't give a **** what you think."