ThaiLover1

1.  I had a stiff argument with her and let her know in very clear terms that she had to shape up, or else... 

2. After this, she has been more loyal and more sweet sweet than ever. 

3. It seems that when the girls know you are not a complete push-over (read: loser/idot) they gain some respect for you.

... I can say is your wonderful insight into the inner-workings of the Thai psyche are outstanding.... sheeeeeeeshhhhh..

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Thanks.

It takes one to know one. (smile)

So what does he charge?

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Save your money.

Instead of paying a PI 10-20,000 baht for a basic investigation, simply buy a small spy-software and log the password of your girlfriend's email account. After you check her email, you will find out all you want to know - and more - just from this small investment. It will really give you piece of mind and save some bucks - if you are really thinking about hiring a PI.

I found out that my girlfriend was receiving email from all over the world. She had profiles posted on dating sites etc. I could read in the email that she was not meeting any of these folks (except one guy - but who never got into her pants). But, it gave me a very clear picture of who she was and what was going on with her romantic life. I was quite shocked about this sweet little girl that kept telling me "no have - no have" each time I asked for some information about her dating life. I had a stiff argument with her and let her know in very clear terms that she had to shape up, or else... After this, she has been more loyal and more sweet sweet than ever. (However, I am still checking on her from time to time and so far all has been good.)

It seems that when the girls know you are not a complete push-over (read: loser/idot) they gain some respect for you.

Here is an example of software I have used and like. I have no association with the company. The software needs to be installed on the machine your girlfriend is using, before she sits down to start her email session.

Perfect Keylogger

Here is an example of another low cost software that will does not need to be pre-installed on the computer. It can find complete email dialogs of Yahoo, AOL or Hotmail etc - by using temporary system files - without the need for email passwords:

Email Recover

After you check your email, you will see how many guys or girls she is emailing with, from what country etc. Quite often she will also keep a saved folder will all her favorite old email from a year or more ago. You can learn somethign about her history as well as her current life.

This little investigative step will save you much wasted effort with a PI. Almost all young BKK girls now have a free email address on Yahoo or Hotmail.

Use technology and knowledge to your advantage! Be safe - not sorry.

Agree.....no trust....NO HOPE

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Trust is not automatic - it is "earned". If we follow your logic of TRUST:

1) You will trust a person applying for a job in our company, without checking references?

2) You will buy a used car, without paying for a professional car inspection?

3) You will ... (fill in the blanks)

You might find trouble if you live your life this way. However, you might also be lucky, for a long time. It is a bit like gambling. (smile) We all have free will - live your life the way you want.

I believe trust is needed to make peace on Earth and between sexes, but it is not automatic. A better motto might be: TRUST - but VERIFY.

Older Thai chicks are great - if they look good. Many Thai chicks over 30 are fantastic! This lady is 31 this year!

I would not say no to a date with Sonia, no matter what the Thai guys say. (smile)

Sonia Couling (Sonya/Pim)

.ซอนย่า คูลลิ่ง (พิม)

Career Actress, Model

Birthday June 18, 1974

Status Single

Birthplace Bangkok, Thailand

Address TV Scene Co.,Ltd.

282 Lardphrao 94

Bangkapi, Bangkok 10240

They ... get more money for selling themselves, makes economical sense.

As for the stupid farang who is gulible enough to take one over, he deserves all he gets.

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Strangely, I agree with this response.

But also, who cares? In some sense, dating women in Thailand is really not that different from dating women in the US, Singapore and Hong Kong that look for the three Cs - Credit card, Car and Condo. Thai girls may be a little more "up-to-you" and less demanding - at first. But, it is all a game, and a little education and knowledge will teach you how to play it and keep what you want. (smile)

Even bar-girls are ok for what they are - if you know the rules of the game.

The point to emphasize here is that the real danger is not external – not the bargirl - but rather the individuals internal response. Bars and Bargirls have been around a long time and the game is established. Don’t blame the other players because you don’t know the rules. Those that out of ignorance think that the relationships they form with the girls are REAL, are destined for disappointment.

Bar-girls, straight girls or Thai girls that are looking to upgrade their social status by finding a "rich" foreign man - are all playing a game with certain rules that has been around since the beginning of time. Play the game to the fullest, but know the rules and guidelines before losing your heart - and valet.

Enjoy life! Splurge on it!

Upon reflection some of my comments were inappropriate.  I crossed the line from commenting on your comments to making uninformed personal judgments about you.  I apologize.  Best of luck with your relationship.

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No problem. It takes guts to appologize in a public forum.

You just earned yourself several big credits. (smile)

Her I am getting married. Matt

Very nice wife, Matt.

Can I ask where you met such a sweet lady?

...Are you going to disclose that to the "good" Thai girl your are looking for if/when you find her?  Most good Thai girls probably wouldn't be too interested in a foreign man who frequents prostitutes...no problem, just lie to her and keep sneeking away to patpong when you get the chance.   Nothing like building a relationship on a foundation of lies and double standards, just like many Thai men like to do.

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I have told my woman all about my past, it is an open book. She love me dearly. And, I do not cheat either (no sneaking off to the see bar-girls). She also knows it and likes this integrity.

I am VERY stable and secure. And, I get all I want from my woman at home. Sorry, to break your illusion. Find somebody else to pick on.

>>>> However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of &lt;deleted&gt;..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls.  <<<<<

Some friend you have!

The straight girls on the Jerry Springer show would make these girls look like saints! 

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Agreed.

Stay informed about bar-girls. Education is power.

Do not close your eyes - just because you believe you and your girl is different from all the rest. I have seen so many Western guys make this mistake in Thailand.

...Finally I had to 'consumate' the marriage at the time determined by the monks with all the family outside the room,...

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Please explain what you mean by 'consumate'? Do you mean having sex with your new wife, next to the wedding party!?

Isn't that a bit contrasting to the "no-kiss and no-touch" attitude of respectable Thais?

... Many 'good' women are not good women and many bar girls are angels. I have said it before and will say it again... The best human being I met in my life was a prostitute. ...

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I agree with you there are always exception to the rules.

However, I still will not forget the night when the "entertainment girl" answered her cell phone and rushed to the bathroom and told me to be quite. I heard her say things like: "I love you", "I am good girl" etc. She told me later she is engaged to marry and will fly to Europe next month!

I have dated a number of straight girls, and I can tell you first hand nothing like the bar-girl cell phone has happened with them. However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of &lt;deleted&gt;..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls.

However, we all milk our own cows - and I think some men have shutters on their eyes. You are welcome to marry a bar-girl. It is your life - not mine.

...

party was about 5,000 ish say7500, and I also gave my wife 3 baht of gold.

The wedding present from me to her was a bit bigger than expected....

The House, land, everything. So in all I gave up about 1 million, and I don't care - we have alot of happyness.

...

Very nice - thanks for sharing!

What part of Thailand do you hold a wedding for 7500 baht?? I am still licking my wounds from going to dinner in a 5 star hotel in Bankok. The bill came to around 3,500 baht for two people. Your wedding costs seems very low. Perhaps you are talking another currency. Please explain.

What is "3 baht of gold"?

Where did you buy your two story 1 Mill. baht house?

(1) Do you think a Bar girl is any less cultural a Thai than a non Bar girl ??? Do you think that a bar girl would miss her family, friends, food and Thainess any less than a non Bar girl.

...

(2) Remember that marrying a non bar girl doesnt automatically mean that you will have a true and honest wife who loves you for yourself, She will still have the same expectations as the bar girl.

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I totally agree on point (1). On point (2) I disagree. Ask around and check Internet sites and you will find:

Bar-girls are far more dishonest and more interested in money than straight girls.

This is generally speaking, but you can write it on the wall so you do not forget this rule. Bargirls are looking for sugar-daddies and will generally leave when the money runs out. This is their job. It is not that they are evil - it is just their business and training.

I started this thread and would like to limit the experiences reported to non-bar girls. So far, I read more positive stories than negative. It is very educational.

Her I am getting married.

Matt

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Thanks for sharing. Very nice picture!

How much did the wedding set you back? How much for the dowry?

ThaiLover, you've gotten many fellas (and one girl) in happy relationships to post their thoughts here -- is any of this helping you?     

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I agree, the stories are very positive and happy.

It sure beats the horror stories I have heard from a few traveling friends about Thai wifes scamming the foreigner for all the money he has, keeping a secret Thai boyfriend, divorcing him (when the US greencard is in hand) and moving back to Thailand to stay with another sucker for money etc. I have heard several stories like this. (no joke)

But, Thai girls are so cute.

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

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Excuse me!? In this thread we are not talking just talking about the hot and cold weather - and other effects that might happen to Thai girls. We are talking about cultural effects, including economic. Bar-girls are still people, but a totally different breed of people. Not better or worse - just so different.

No offense intended, but from what I hear the bargirls are mainly in it for the money - not for the love relationship. Non-bar girls can still be in it for money, but they are usually more interested in love!

I never plan to marry a hooker (bar-girl), so if we can limit the discussion to non-bar girls I think this becomes easier. Here is another picture of a sweet office girl.

One question here!

For those pictures of Thai ladies that you posted on the web, Did you get their permittion to post the pictures?

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It is nice to hear about your success story from Denmark. I grew up in Scandinavia myself, so I can relate.

Regarding photos taken in public places:

The photographer owns all the pictures he takes in public places, and he can do what he likes with them - including selling them for money. I am sure you have read about the famous photo paparazzi? They follow famous people around like ghosts. Even though I do not agree with what they are doing, they can make big money doing this.

Of course, you can sue a photographer for defamation of your person etc, if he does something harmful to you, for example posting nud_e photos of you in a magazine or internet. However, by this time it is often too late to stop your photo from being circulated all over the world.

Most snapshot - like the ones in this web page - are harmless and only for fun and enjoyment of life. I would remove any picture if asked, but most people enjoy my pictures in a flattering image. In practice I usually ask people for permission - before taking any photos, and I always remove them from my portfolio when asked (even though I do not have to).

In a private setting (inside a house, a photo studio etc) I would never not sell a photo for commercial gain without getting a model release, and I would also pay the girl for her image.

In a public place, take as many photos as you like. You legally own them. Like this girl - her name is "Aum", and she is now perhaps the number one TV star in Thailand. I met her outside of Gaysorn Plaza. Thai people are so nice and approachable - not at all like US counterparts.

... I think my wife has addapted extremely well to the cultural changes.

No complaints from her and none from me.

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It is nice to hear such a good report.

I like to think I am confident and secure in my being. However, I am asking the questions in this thread because most of my Western friends that go to Thailand on a regular basis advice me against bringing a Thai girl back to the US. This question is a point of education and what to expect.

The Internet is all about information from the masses. I hope to hear from several people regarding the questions raised in the beginning of this thread. It saves time and research, and can help make the transition more easy for my Thai girl, if we decide to make the move to a Western country.

PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE - THANKS (at the top of this this web page)

The cold is something they have never had to deal with. She was 42kg no body fat ...

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Yes, you are right - Thai girls have a low body-fat. Perhaps this is also one of the reasons we like them so much. (smile)

The body-fat percentage of my GF is only 9% ! This is almost unheard of in Western countries, unless you are an athlete.

Did you girl get a serious cold or flu? Any more details to help me understand?

The first wife was Lawyer was bored to death not able to work. The first winter she almost died (she did get very sick) ...

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Why did she get sick? Did she have problem with the cold weather?

My Thai girlfriend complains when it gets below 25C, and sometimes starts wearing a scarf. I always laugh when I see this. To me it is summer weather when it is 25C.

(Yet, another Thai sweet thing.)

Twice I took them home with me. never again. It's all too hard for them.

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Care to explain why you were having trouble with your sweet Thai thing?

(Picture of an unknown Thai lady from a business conference.)

To all Western men:

I am interested to hear your experiences about bringing a non-bar Thai girlfriend (or wife) to another country for a long term stay. I am not asking about immigration issues, but simple things about possible hassles from the Western culture and the impact on the love relationship with your sweet and caring girl from Thailand.

For example issues like this:

- Will the Thai girl lose the charming "up-to-you" attitude, and become more independent and Western thinking?

- Will she be bored and watch soap-operas on TV all day and become another couch potato? Willl she become a party freak and want to go dancing with local Farangs? Or, will she pick up and do some postive activity (read: go to school or start a business)?

- Will she adopt some of the “strong” attitudes of Western women where divorce court is just around the corner for a 50% split of all marital assets? The Thai girl might even enjoy to learn from her new Western women friends that the major income earner (read: Western husband) will pay for the legal costs for both parties in a divorce!

- Will she be hassled by other men - because she is Thai, young and beautiful? Perhaps an older man (like me) with a 20s young girl will be seen as fair game for a young romantic Western male, or does the Western male keep his distance and respect?

- Does the Thai girl show disinterest when approached by an interested Western male, and does she decline to get involved with needless chat and refuse to give out her cell phone number etc? In my experience Thai girls do not like to say “no” to a phone number request, even if they have no intention to start a romance.

- Will she adjust to the new Western culture, without convenient food vendors offering food and fresh fruits wherever you turn?

- Will she get used to the Western middle class suburbia, without taxies and people walking around in the neighborhoods? Things may be very quite and boring compared to sanok Thailand.

- Do you have any other cultural comments to help to set me straight on whether to bring my future wife to America or not?

PS Please hold all your flames that I should find a Western girl around my own age in my own local country.

What hassles do the Thai chicks get when they move to the US?

Just been out to Koh Phi Phi to bring some thai friends back who have shops there - there are some areas which have not come off so bad but the centre of Tonsai Town is utterly devastated. Never seen anything like it ...

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Any pictures from Tonsai Town of your visit to Phi Phi?

Animation of Indonesia tsunami (Credit: NOAA)

It shows the tsunami waves coming from a stretch of islands - not behind and West of Sumatra, as originally assumed.

from 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake