ThaiLover1

[Comparing his status with a honest man (who is often punished because he is nothing else but an idiot), who tried to give his best and who finds himself divorced as thank-you from his wife for his good intentions, with 80 percent of his property gone, I think, some men would like to be in his position just now.

Happy man you are, Thailover1!

I personally can only dream about to meet some really beautiful model-like girls to take me away to relax for one night only from all my daily life.

Interesting comments, but you do not know something:

1) I lost 100% of my assests after the divorce, after paying for two attorneys (both my wife and my own attorney, at a total of more than $400 per hour) and reaching a financial settlement with my wife.

2) My wife ran off with another man and dumped the kids on me. (Please hold the nasty comments that I must deserve it etc.)

3) I think I am honest. I hope I can learn some of tricks of the liers and not be an idot or fooled too easily. I had a very sheltered life and did not get exposed to the liers in this world, until much later in my life.

4) I am not rich, and I make it clear to my girlfriends. I gave up on high-paying jobs in corporate America several years ago, in exchange for freedom to travel and be my own boss.

Despite what you think and my pretty female friends, I long for a serious relastionship with a future wife and kids. I do not like the single life at all (read: boring), but then that may just be me.

Dear Sandy,

Thanks for the clarification. I understand you now.

I did break up with my girlfriend for a day or so, but we decided to get back together and give the relationship a second try.

I made it real clear that I would not tolerate a second offense (fling). She said she would never do it again, and agreed that a breakup would be mandatory if she did it again.

I regret to hear that your man can not keep his pants on with other girls. It sounds like you gave him a fair chance, and that you also really care(d) for him. Maybe he does not care for you, or that he thinks that sex is only physical and not only for his girlfriend.

Is you ex-BF a Western or Thai man?

Loking at your homepage (the link, you posted here on this forum) - then I would say you are involved in such kind of business.

(yes, I saw you make other business, too, like software production etc...)

I make my living as a scientist, but not in photography. However, I enjoy taking pictures of people, and have spent some time donating photographs to charity. Thanks for being curios.

What do you do?

Taking the sentance in it's intended context , I imagine they mean that after cheating a first time, you have accepted it , she may take this as a sign that you will continue to accept this behaviour. Obviously you will not accept it , should it re-occur. Will you?

I did not accept her cheating. However, I did forgive her for this mistake and told her she would have to prove - to both of us - that she can stay faithful, during the next 6 months before I am fully ready to enroll in the relationship.

I made it EXTREMLY clear that I would do the same as her - have sex with another partner - if she ever had a fling again. She seems very scared that I might go out with another woman. Perhaps this is enough to make her stop and think, before dropping her underwear, next time. (smile)

Time will tell.

Thailover, if you truly love her and want to stay together then I suggest you sit her down and try to work it out but if you still have a serious doubt she will stay faithful then cut your losses now and move on...

I have decided to spend some more time with my GF and see what happens during my next trip out of town. If she can keep her pants on, I am still interested to continue the relationship. Time will tell who she is and what her intentions are.

However, this time I will be prepared and not expect anything, other than a happy surprise if she stays honest.

On my last trip out of town, over a period of time - she explained her infidelity as:

1) She did not believe I was returning to Thailand,

2) All her girl-friends were screwing around on the side (a sort of a fashion),

3) I did not send her any money (she thought I did not care about her),

4) Her friends told her I am not real boyfriend - only a sex tourist,

5) She felt alone and abandoned,

6) She was truly in love with me, but felt abandoned and wanted to forget me by having sex with another man,

7) Her mother told her to find a new boyfriend that is more supportive of the family (read: a BF that sends more money),

8) She thought she could enjoy another man for sex only, while still loving me.

The list is long and goes on. She says she made a big mistake and will never do it again. She seems real sorry and even slit her wrists (scared the shit out of me). Why would she even do that, if she is just looking for financial support!?

Are these all made-up excuses for her fling, or is there some truth to these statements?

(I already know some of the answer to these questions. And, I do not mean to sound too naive, but I am interested to hear the responses from people other than myself. )

So, I guess you're staying with her after all? Well, good luck, and i hope she dont do this to you again. Not trying to be mean, if she does cheat on you again, sorry, but u deserve it, for letting her do that to u.

I have decided to give the relationship a second try. However, many people have warned me against it and say she will cheat again.

However, right now my girl seems totally changed since her fling, including staying at home every night, when I call her at her Mum's house.

How can anyone control cheating? Your statement makes it sound like it is my fault. ("but u deserve it, for letting her do that to u").

Please explain.

Maybe I misjudged you in the beginning, the longer the thread goes, ... What wins you over to me is your sincerety, really.

She is jealous/possessive and wants to keep all options open with you, including telling you she wants to marry you, so you don't dump her, while she is continuing to look around.

Thanks for the positive words, and your explanation. It makes good sense.

But, why did my girl even bother to tell me that she cheated on me?

She probably knew that confessing sex with another man would mean the end of the relationship. And, I had no proof and no direct indication she had a fling - only a mysterious feeling in my gut. She could have kept the secret and claimed all is well.

What is the benifit of her talking about her affair?

Sorry for you.....but I think, your job is your problem...

Hmm, I am not sure I said anything about my job - or how I make money.

My job is not in fashion, photography or film-making.

Next time if you are leaving for a long time, discuss things out and put the relationship on a break. ... Then that way, you could also do things where ever you're at, without hurting each other. Open relationship!

Yes I agree, Sandy.

Problem is, I already discussed the option of breaking up while I am gone, and my girl got angry and said she wanted to stay together i.e. no break in the relationship. And, then she cheated anyway. Go figure...

For your comfort, I have never cheated on a girl. I am also not planning on doing so in future. I believe in being honest and open - like yourself.

Please read this.....

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/reader/reader431.html

I wrote this article last year and it is still a fair representation of my opinion......hope it helps.

That is a great article, but real scary.

If this is true statement of what goes on in BKK, I may need to rethink my plans to find a good wife in Thailand.

My god!!!

No jest.

The picture is real and is taken of me (with some friends) in San Francisco.

I have never been to Cambodia, but have heard many things about the place.

Guys & girls, the last two postings show you have a limited understanding of successful 50 year old single men in America.

Do you think a 50 year old man can not find and date (young) girls in his own country!? - That he can only can date young girls from desperate financial situations!? Maybe it is true for some, but not for me.

I date more beautiful girls (in the US) than when I was 21 years old! True...

I do not want to say any bad words, but this dialog disgust me. I do not want to get into a pissing contest, but now you are pushing me.

Here is a link to a real picture of me and some friends - in America, not Thailand. There is no trick photography, and I am not hiding under some fake identity. Come on guys – give it a rest:

Me and Some Friends

I have a very good life in the US. I just happen to have fallen in love with a Thai girl, and I am not sure what to expect from her – and what is normal with Thai girls in general.

And, there is no need to talk down about Thai girls. Most Thai girls are struggling to meet their financial ends, and are simply trying to survive as they see fit.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool

To weep is to risk being called sentimental

To reach out to another is to risk involvement

To expose feeling is to risk showing your true self

To place your ideas & your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naive

To love is to risk not being loved in return

To live is to risk dying

To hope is to risk despair

To try is to risk failure...

The greatest risk in life is to risk nothing

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing

and becomes nothing

Only the person who risks is truly free.

No offense to all the other posters, but this must be one of the best postings so far!!!

Who are you?

There is a tradition in Thailand of girls marrying older men.

It may be great to have a young lady on your arm aged 50, but look at things from the girl's point of view and you may see things differently.

I know I should not be able to marry a girl much younger than 35-40, in the US.

However, when you look at the young Thai lady's point of view; when a Thai girl marries an older man she gets a stable (read: financially secure), honest and well traveled man that can take care of her entire family, show her around the world and raise her social status several notches - without working or going to school.

I think it is a great deal for the Thai girl, and if she gets bored (or the husband dies off) she can divorce and marry another farang and get half the assets of the first husband.

The Thai girls control the whole equation, whether you believe it or not. I wish I was Thai girl. I would be the best baht vacuum-cleaner in the whole world.

What do you think, should I do with a Thai girl, who is 30 years younger than I, looking like a model, and who is telling me (a lie), that she loves only me and this forever until the end of her life???

1- Telling her the truth about myself, that I am a married man, children grown up, and that I love her too, and of course until the end of this night?

(baht 1000,- peaceful night)

2- Give the girl a good spanking on her bare model-a*s after removing her panty, so she tells me, she feels so sorry, she never will do that again, and from now on she truly loves only me and will show me straight, how honest she is after her punishment?

(baht 1500,- wild night)

3- Kick the girl out of the room, she will cry and tell me she is only a very very little liar, usually she is a good girl, she is only a liar for some days because her dear aunty is in the hospital with headache, ready to die because of heart problems....

she needs urgently buy medicine....(beer?)

(baht 500,- and spend the night alone without listening to this bulls**t all time)

I love it! I really do.

I am not a Thai man, but from Europe, however living in Asia since 1972.....

Yes, the Asian girl will tell you a lie, and I am surprised, that you are not aware of it. - ...

I feel somehow, Thailand is not the right place for you.

Did you look around in some other countries already?

Well, my hat is off to you. You have lived 30 years in Asia. I have only been there about ten times. You must have ton of experiences to report. I wish I had your wisdom.

I know that Thailand people do lie - quite frequently - to keep face. However, I still hoping to find a little honesty in all the roughage. Perhaps it is just me; I am setting too high standards for the Thai girls.

I have visited several countries and cities, including Singpapore, Malaysia, China and HK. I find the Thai girls to be the most "charming" and welcoming, and forget Singapore girls; they are more stuck-up than US girls.

Perhaps Thai girls are only good for play, not for GFs or wifes. As stated earlier, I am done with playing around with bar-girls - I really enjoy a real relationship with a healthy lady, at any age.

You say that a marriage makes a difference with Thai people. Why do you say this? I know that most Thai men (75%) sleep around, after marriage. This does not seem any better than the behaviour before marriage.

If I scratch Thailand off my list for finding a faithfull GF, what country do you suggest instead?

Why should she not go out and contact other men?

She is single.....there is absolut NO obligation between her and you....

I get the feeling you think like a Thai man. It is hard for me to do.

I still expect my GF to be honest with her communications - even if she is seeing other men.

My GF bluntly lied - and I have a problem with that. This IS my business, even if she is not my wife and can date other men.

Its tough anywhere in the world finding a decent girl(friend).

Rainman, can you clarify what you mean by decent girlfriend?

You are divorced - 3 kids - who takes care of them, do you pay for them?  And why are you divorced?

You are looking for girls dating here and there, and if you find one, 30 years younger than you, then you expect her to be faithful to you and not contact any other man from that moment on....

But she is not your wife - just a girl friend, and it is up to her to keep contact with other men as well....

You did not promise her anything for the future, and by the way, you are looking around for dating other girls.....and does she know about your 3 kids and our divorce?

Somehow single-sided, egoistic...openly said...

To answer your questions:

- I am a single parent and take care and raise my three kids alone.

- I did not divorce; my Asian ex-wife did.

- I do not keep more than one girlfriend, and I do not sleep around or visit bar-girls.

- Why can I not expect a much younger GF to be faithful!? I am interested in your comments.

- I promised to love my GF and not to play around with other girls. I showed her clearly I am serious about love.

- My girlfriend knows all about my kids, life and business.

You seem to make several incorrect assumptions. I hope my answers will set the record straight.

...  From reading your post I feel that the MOST important asset that your TRUE LOVE should possess is good looks, which to me it hardly says anything about your intention to find true love but more of a bragging right to have a "young babe" in your arms.  ...

You are right about my interests in good looks. It is the easiest things to spot, when first meeting a girl.

However, like you say it is not the most important part of love, but it is part of sex and dating. I have many nice (and older than me) female friends. They could be great mates if I felt physically attracted.

If you show me two girls with similar personalities, would you not choose the more pretty one? It is only natural.

As they say:

PEOPLE LOOK ON THE OUTSIDE, GOD LOOKS ON THE INSIDE.

This is hard to realize, but true.

I am human also and enjoy every bit of it.

Hey loverboy,

If you don't seem to find "straight" girls , it probably says something about your limited emotional understanding of People and the world.

All of your comments are dripping of chauvinistic pig fat.

Hey LoverGirl,

I love those big swinging br.. in the avatar picture. Great for getting some attention from the chauvinistic pigs you dislike so much.

Thailover1,

my expectations are the same as yours: TRUE LOVE.

now - back home after a 1 month funtastic time Thailand - I feel empty

...

I believe in true love. But it needs TWO persons to have those feelings. And I am aware of asian? mentality: It will be ME - only me - to feed my (future) family...

I feel for your man. I just returned from Bangkok, last week.

Please send me a private email. I am also planning to move to Bangkok, as soon as I am able. We should stay connected to compare notes.

Now that you have shared her foto and some personal matters of hers (with her consent?), could you give us her name and tel.no. as well?

Looking at the pic of the two of you again, are you surprised she's off with other guys while you are away? I'd say a clean shirt and a shave wouldn't hurt...

I will not share any photos or letters of my GF on this forum.

The photo on the side is real photo of myself (yes, it is true - beard and all), but it is not my girlfriend - just a fashion model that I happen to know. The picture is too small to make out any detailed facial features. However, it gives you some idea of the type of woman I hang out with, despite some sly comments about my presentation in this thread.

In other words, my friend, she's probably not with you because of some deep connection.  Like most girls that age she falls into and out of love quite easily though in the moment she may feel like it is the strongest love ever felt in history.  When you go back to the US she may think about you but here comes this other White Knight and he said the funniest thing to her and made her laugh.  Besides, he's only 35 and much better looking.  It was only supposed to be coffee but he was the most charming man she had ever met.  Not better than you, just different.  And he was there and you were 6000+ miles away.  What if this new White Knight is the one?  She doesn't want to lose him just because she won't give it up.  Then he goes home and never calls her again so she's back with you. 

She then said something about how shallow that sounded and I replied that it's not shallow, it's simply blunt.  I don't care what "true love" scenario you lay out for me, I can break it down into a simple exchange of goods and services between two people.  In fact, isn't that what all the relationship gurus tell people?  Marriage is a give and take.  Relationships are about two people treating each other as equals, as partners?  Well, in order to be equal, the fat balding guy either has to either marry a woman with equal physical attributes or have something else to throw on the table like a good job and financial security so he can barter up the physical attributes scale.

Great posting!

I agree with you that a 21 year old lady would not hang out with me, unless there was something in it for her - an "exchange" of some sorts. I do not mind this, and I really do not care too much if it is money or love.

What I do not understand is why she had a fling with another man and then told me she is sorry - and - wants to marry me.

I am sure in Thailand (as well as other countries) a "relationship of convenience" could be honest and open, right?

I just today met a lovelyThai girl who seemed almost perfect (depending on ones one criteria) in everyway.

After returning her to her home and I returned to mine a friend (or hers) told me BUT she has a BF, and all this while she swearing that she had not had a BF for close to 5 years.

...

And for all the posters who might categorically state that their GF / wife would never stray, you are deluding yourself. History proves that. And for the Thai girls who read or post here I might suggest that a faithful man is more likely to be faithful than a "faithful girl" will be.

Part of this is that there are always the dogs (men) ever on the lookout for a bitch in heat.

I still love the place. It's the same as any farang land "just a little worse when it comes to morals"

This is a really good posting!

I am starting to believe straight Thai girls can not be faithful or honest about love. Just look at the poll in this thread, so far. It should give you some indication.

I think I must learn to love Thailand for what it is, and not expect honesty, fidelity or true love from my woman. It is a bit sad, but maybe it is the harsh reality

Any other comments from a Thai girl on this board?