nattydread

an update story from CMN including an interview with one of the victims

http://www.chiangmaicitynews.com/news.php?id=2088

is it possible to take driving lessons in CM?

in the pic it looks like the cop is asking the thai guy on the end why he was carrying a machete....I haven't seen too many farangs out tooled up with one have you?

responsible for the deaths of 12 million people during the Holocaust

last time I heard they were trying to convince us it was 6 million

rent rent rent rent rent...........don't trust these greedy people one iota or you will be sorry

can you think of any others that can be added to the list below??????????????

1. Determine if the buffalo lives and / or works in Thailand. If he does, attempt to seal the deal quickly. There is very little chance that we will be able to put our hands in his wallet other than for this one off transaction. He knows too much and will be a hard target. He might even have good contacts if we trick him, deceive him or steal from him so unless he is exceptionally handsome and / or rich, try and get him to go short time and then return to the bar to fiund a tourist. Tourists are the more profitable customers when they go back to their country than one off customers - who are also more work! Further, if he has a cheap necktie, scuffed and unpolished cheap leather shoes, is wearing white socks with business trousers and leather shoes or simply seems reluctant to buy you a drink, ask him if he is an English teacher. If he is, forget giving him the respect we give to Thai ajarns and move on to the next customer. English teachers earn in a month what we earn in a week so there are no exceptions!


2. Give your phone number and email address to every customer (except English teachers because they will call and email you incessantly looking for free boom boom). Even the buffalo who smells bad, the buffalo with the hairy back and the buffalo who refused to shower should be given your contact details. Encourage him to contact you when he returns to his country. When he does, the internet cafe manager can write you an email explaining why he should send you some money - sick buffalo, ill parent or sibling, tsunami etc. And don't worry, you're not lying so this is not bad karma. All of these things happen, they just may not be happening right now. If he is Khun Jai Dee he will send 20,000 baht or more. Mr. Keeneow will send less and lie about the US dollar being weak. It's not. It's still green like before. We have seen it and it hasn't changed. Liars! Never give up. Email him every month. If after 6 months he has not sent you money, tell him it is your birthday in a few days. They all fall for that but it is usually something miserable like 5,000 baht. Cheap bastards.



3. Always tell the buffaloes that Thai men are no good. "Thai man no good" should be said to every customer. They hear it enough and they believe it. If the buffalo ever sees you with your pua (husband, coarse Thai) dropping you off to work on his motorbike or eating noodle soup after you have done a short time, just say it is your brother.



4. If you're aged under 25 then get you hair dyed blonde, orange or other bright colour and apply for a job at a bar popular with Japanese. Baccarra in Soi Cowboy and Rainbow 2 and Rainbow 4 in Nana Plaza are good choices. The Japanese customers are the best because of the rule of 4s (4 inches, 4 minutes, 4,000 baht). But remember that you have to make as much as you can from them now because they are different to the buffaloes and seldom send money when they go home. Anyway, their English sucks, yeah it is even worse than ours, so don't bother giving them any contact details.



5. There are many bad men who try to stop us making money from the buffalo. They have names like Vincent Calvino and they tell our buffalo where we go and what we do. Be careful of the man who asks many questions, buys lots of drinks but does not barfine us. He is the devil. Also, be careful of men who take your photo with digital cameras. They put it in the internet and now everyone can see us. If a buffalo is sending you money and he sees your photo on the internet then maybe he will stop!



6. The buffaloes roo mark (know too much) these days. Thai language schools are becoming as ubiquitous as 7 Eleven stores and even some guys who come for a holiday speak decent Thai. They are devious, these foreign buffaloes, and they listen to what we are saying and pretend they do not understand. How dare they?! When we talk together use Lao or Khmer dialects because the buffalo are always looking to trick us, the devils. But be careful, some of them even understand those dialects. The buffaloes get trickier all the time.



7. If you meet a rich, generous buffalo, invite him to your village. Make sure the whole village knows that there will be a welcome dinner when he arrives and everyone is invited. He will pay. Make sure you negotiate a 10% commission with the restaurant before you go. Don't let him stay in a hotel but in the family house. Let him see and feel what a traditional Thai home feels like. He will take pity on us and if we play it right, he will offer to build us a new house. Send your pua to a neighbour's house for a few days but if they will not take him, introduce him as your brother. If you already have a house built by one buffalo, go to an aunty or uncle's house and introduce them as your family. The same rules apply. If you are good, you might get two houses or more...!



8. Locate all of the offices for Western Union and Moneygram. Collect their free leaflets and give to the buffalo so they know how to send us money. Open different bank accounts and always have one bank account book with you at all times with a balance under 1,000 baht. Update it frequently so it looks like it is your main account. The book for the account that has most of your money must be hidden and the buffalo must never ever see it. We know the buffalo aren't aren't clever so we have to make it easy for them.



9. Join "the 3 AM Club". Every bar has a 3 AM club which comprises a bunch of the younger girls in the bar. Befriend them and make sure that you have their phone number stored in your phone. If they have gone with a customer, call them at 3 AM and tell them where you are. When the phone rings they will be with a buffalo and can make an excuse to leave. "My friend lost key for loom." "Mother come from province to visit me." "Baby is sick and must go to barn nok to take care." They will come and meet you and you can now go and play cards for the money you made tonight, or go as a group and a hire a nice hard-bodied Thai boy for the night, or if you have a boyfriend or husband, go to him. Don't worry about the buffalo you're with in the hotel loom. Whatever was agreed earlier with the buffalo doesn't matter. Tell him you must go and that you will collect money for long time service. If he protests, start screaming and yelling at him. Threaten to smash his laptop or camera. Tell him you will go to the police. If there is a balcony, threaten to jump off. Only a few minutes yelling and screaming is the difference between 1,500 and 3,000 baht.



10. Have two mobile phones and make sure one is an older, cheap model. Make sure the buffalo only sees the cheap one. If he forces you to go long time, give him the morning sessions of his life and then take him straight to MBK. After you have eaten (order as much as you can and take the bulk home to eat that evening), take him to level 4 where all of the mobile phone vendors are. Find the newest most expensive phone you can and stare at it. Make sure he sees some tears in your eyes and don't leave until he buys it for you. If he resists, start crying. The buffaloes do anything when we cry. If he buys mobile phone, stay with him and a few days later take him to a gold shop. Repeat the steps until he buys the gold. Take both to the pawn shop and sell them as soon as he leaves.

take photos of all the stuff individually and put them on an upload site like Flickr

then post an add on the many free websites in Thailand listing whats for sale.the price and your location then ask anyone whose interested to email u for the link to the pics

Thailand the land of little or no depreciation

the farangs here are as bad as the thais in thinking that a bike only devalues a couple of hundred quid a year

example recently a versy was advertised two years old the guy had done 30,000km so had had his use and enjoyment from it but wanted 250,000 baht for it

crazy money

theres a guy still selling a rack on B***sold for 300 baht......just google " Luggage rack for Yamaha Spark"...all u need then is a box

put a large paving flagstone in the bottom of the sidecar..that will hold the 3rd wheel down when going around right handers

how many of these cars are stolen in the west and find their way to Thailand and other countries in this region?.....somebody must be making big money while the poor sap in the west sees his insurance premiums rise

great video

seems it happens in the fruit processing factories too

http://www.aljazeera.com/news/asia-pacific/2012/06/201262310492706615.html

there is a thai dish that involves the cooking the poo filled intestines of a buffalo

its name is "pee aa"

never tasted it but apparently it has a bitter taste

I love his version of "here comes the sun"....RIP

hasnt it got something to do with the oil and gas rights in the ajoining sea

http://www.clc-asia.com/the-struggle-between-thailand-and-cambodia-over-oil-and-gas-resources/

I watched them all pass the opposite direction late last night - some nice bikes there - must have been a ride.

Used to do the odd Brighton run with people I passed by bike test with (years after - just an annual thing) - great laugh.

Biking in the west is a real community thing. The amount of times I have broken down in the UK on my bike and give it 5 or 10 minutes and some other biker will stop and lend a hand/offer a cigarette/for a chat/drink/offer their phone/etc - in a car, you wait for the RAC, no one else will stop. Ride past another biker and nods both ways - courtesy.

The fighting and violence you see on TV is all drama. A friend's pub used to be a stopping point for bikers - hundreds of bikes some weekends (more on Superbikes weekend - not far from Brands) - by far there biggest sale items is coke and orange juice!

by far there biggest sale items is coke and orange juice!..............that made me laugh...how can anyone admit to being in a bike gang that drank orange juice and coke ?

We all know, that a fair amount of those money, are going to end up in

the wrong pockets. Which most to us is not acceptable, simply due to the

big amounts we are talking about.

it is none of our (expats) business to judge what is acceptable/charming or not

in our "host" country. moreover, no bitching will change the situation.

comments like this make me laugh especially when the same poster and others who quote the same right on BS would probably be shouting at the top of his voice to defend the right of immigrants in their own country of origin to have their say.......hypocrisy at its finest

to keep cool in the hot weather place a chair with the back at right angles to the fan

soak a couple of towels in water and wring them out just enough to stop them dripping water onto the floor

place the towels folded on the back of the chair

you will get a nice cool moist breeze from the fan

resoak towels every couple of hours

cheaper than a/c and almost as effective

why arent the tv channels showing public safety info clips to educate the masses on all sorts of things from driving safety to food hygeine/hand washing.....oh sorry i forgot it would leave less time to advertise skin whitening products and all those unhealthy snack foods

this Yamaha 600 Fazer was for sale in classifieds a few months back.they are a great bike with similar power to the race look version but with all the comfort...dont know if it was an import but my local Yamaha shop has the 1000cc version in the window

Handwashing is one of the most important ways of controlling the spread of infections, especially those that cause diarrhoea and vomiting, and respiratory disease

I swim in the pool at my condo which is directly adjacent to the kitchen of the restaurant on one side and staff toilets on the other..I can see directly into the hand washing area that is provided for post toilet use and I swear that only 1 in 10 of the kitchen and waitress staff bother to wash their hands..the condo is 3/4 star rated so u would think they would know better...needless to say I dont eat at the restaurant..saying that though I doubt any of the street food vendors ever bother