fasteddie

The sensible ones.

Phew! Skin up chaps

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls". I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” As time went by, the hours flew and the margaritas disappeared far too quickly. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos= MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”…. he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh <deleted>” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

And what would be wrong with beef soup?

Halal is gross animal abuse and should be outlawed.

Europe is a continent and the UK is in it.

And it still is.

Phishing?

Yeah they do, not sure about the sausage with cheese and jalapeño though.

My condolences to your taste buds sir.

At last a great injustice is apparently being righted, not that I trust the evil empire to keep their word, they're not well known for it.

At least I don't need a TV licence.

Don't judge others by your obviously low standards.

Nope, neither Lol

''Personally if I knew a girl had previous had black boyfriends I would look at this as a negative.''.....Is that because you're afraid your little dinky won't fit or just plain racism?