therealmrbrightside

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyonce.

<-----------------------------New avatar ;-)

Something a bit worrying about facebook also, is that even though you delete your profile, the information is never deleted. You can type in your password and your account is re-activated with everything still visible at any time. That's xxxxxx scary.

I agree with Soutpeel, It is a great way of keeping in touch with friends. That is my only regret of deleting my profile, but looking back it isn't worth having the missus questioning every photo or comment that includes you or something you did...That and the cringe-worthy photos of what I just cooked her for tea!

I also shop there regularly, taking advantage of the great cheeses, the pickled onion crisps etc....but still waiting for IRN BRU to arrive tho!

Awwww what a nice thing to do.....after getting drenched by super-soakers, grandma gets a free ride home.

For me, having sex is a lot like spreading butter on toast.

It's possible with a credit card, but so much easier with a knife.

What's the best time of the day to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 across "where they nailed Jesus"?

A female police officer is claiming compensation after tripping over a kerb in an unlit area.

Someone should have told her that the long black thing with batteries in, which she was given when she joined the force, is actually a torch

What's got 100 balls and f_ucks rabbits?

A Shotgun cartridge.

A black horse walks into a bar and asks for a whiskey. The barman asks "Which whiskey would you like sir? We have Grouse, Bells and we even have one named after you!"

To which the horse replies "What..Eric?"

What if you're just 'stout' of stature by nature???

If they're going to start picking on people who make travel unpleasant then they should start with the garlic breathed, then the snorers, then them with unruly brats, then fidgiters and then people with glasses who need to clean the bloody things every 20 minutes - elbows everywhere...

I don't think this is about people who make travel unpleasant, but about those who are massively overweight paying the same fare as a 10 year old child. IMHO, this is not a bad way to set fares. Plus, might help that 200Kg traveler shed a bit???? Which would be a great thing.

As the article stated, Samoa has some of the largest people on the planet. This policy makes sense. Again, IMHO.

You are absolutely wrong in stating that this policy makes sense.

It is just a move from the airline guys to let you pay more.

Mind, next step the average weight will become a standard weight of 75 kilo, and the standard height 175 cm

Anybody heavier or taller will pay more.

Quite simple, this is another move of those money grabbers to steal more from travellers.

And no, this is not a good move.

Do remember, if this succeeds, the chairs will become even smaller.

Oh don't be daft...there is a difference in making more money from travelers..and making money from fattie travelers. I personally wouldn't even let them on the plane if they were obese, rather put them in with the luggage. Same applies for small children and Indians smelly people.

@warfie: Stop trolling.

THAT is the funniest thing you've said so far!

What do you call a bear without a paw?

Rupert the bastard.

What do you do if you see a trumpet growing in your garden?

Root-it-oot.

@warfie: Stop trolling.

Wee scumbag...He shoulda got buggered for that stunt.

I stayed at a place called 'Villa Phra Chan Resort' which is near Chao Lao beach, at the Chantaburi side of the bridge. Nice little beach bungalows, quiet beach area with good roads for a bicycle. Cost around 1200THB per night, and was very nice.

Changing to the WRONG side of the road...Oh dear Oh dear.

It turns out that the horses were molested before they were turned into Tesco burgers...The police are asking anyone who knew Jimmy Saddle to come forward.

A guy walks into a UK Tesco cafe...

"Can I have the Lasagne please"

Waitress says "Would you like anything on that sir?"

guy replies "A fiver each way"

What's the difference between a woman and an oven?

An oven doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it.

What's got 9 arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

I work in the Arab States, and believe me, you go into a nightclub at weekends and you will see nothing but rich Arabs drinking the most expensive Liquor with the most expensive hookers on their arms... It's actually quite refreshing to see that they are human after all.