3 hours ago, localczar said:

respect has to be earned...

did you walk to work or bring your lunch

3 hours ago, kovaltech said:

respectfully, i disagree with your opinion. A statement is never a command nor directive...

you said,

"Just leave Thailand... obviously you don't care for the real Thai culture that comes with a Thai wife...

Actually, that goes for anybody who don't respect the Thai culture... Just leave..."

6 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Unfortunately I do believe here some people do a fake cough to voice there displeasure but I just ignore it. I never smoke and drink simultaneously unless I'm outside away from all. I smoke on the side of the road where cars pump out fumes. I take away the social aspect and get my hit and return to restaurant. Wash my hands and a mint too. I have been in a car park 30 metres from nearest person and person faked that cough cough pointing at me speaking to her daughter maybe. I put it down to having nothing better to say or do but yes I have witnessed it. I try to be as considerate as possibble but like anything you cannot please everyone.

Just how do you know the cough is faked--I can smell tobacco smoke in an outhouse; smokers do not notice, but non-smokers do--get off yourself, you have a disgusting habit; quit it.

Ah yes, go to Detroit for a vacation. I wouldn't go to Detroit for an enema.

33 minutes ago, Diplomatico said:

  Just for the sake of the discussion, what does it matter what the actual law is?  Did you plan to call the police to enforce that law whenever you see it misapplied?  Serious questions, not trying to troll or bait anyone.    

 

  Many places have designated the indoor section as the non-smoking area and the outdoor section as the smoking area.  Seems to work out pretty well except for the non-smokers who insist on sitting in the designated smoking section and then complaining that people are smoking.  (Or, even better, doing that fake exaggerated "cough, cough" thing to express their displeasure.)  

 

  When in Rome.....

Do you really think tobacco smoke displeasure is faked?

33 minutes ago, recom273 said:

10K is pushing the boat out l a little

I don't think so. If he stays out of the main traps, there are many beaches in Thailand. I have a friend who spends his time in Songkhla in a large furnished hotel room over a bar at B6k/mo.

4 hours ago, kovaltech said:

didn't i read somewhere that there is some freedom of speech involved ? 

Your statement was not a spoken opinion, it was a stated directive. Ordering people about is not a freedom. 

1 hour ago, kovaltech said:

The first part was addressed to the writer, the second part to those who disrespect Thai culture, so ... whoever fits the shoe...

You seem to have forgotten your place; you have no right to tell anyone to leave Thailand.

10 hours ago, anotheruser said:

 

customs change when you are most likely marrying a hooker. lol 

Oh, so dowry changed when all the Westerners married hookers? I know of Thai marriages which did not require sin sot. And, those marriages were not to hookers.

52 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

 

Well, as I keep saying, if you meet and marry in your country or just marry there, then your customs should be observed - if here, then the other way. I think you and your lovely bride have a choice of what culture you would like to adopt. There is choice. I hope nobody has a gun to either of your heads... 

 

It is interesting that you and others make comparisons using bar girls. Maybe you are starting out with a lack of respect for someone who is not a bar girl. 

 

And yes, as you mentioned, guys buy expensive rocks for a Western lady and seem to hold pride in giving a big one [compensating for?]... and they do buy houses for their Western wives [and them] to live in and give them monthly money to let them run the household and many will tell you at the end that they got hosed in a divorce settlement - - but when it comes to taking care of their Thai wives, it seems that some of these people on the forum fall into a total cheapness that is truly unkind... 

 

I can't help but think that if people treated their Thai wives w/more kindness, they might have a better experience... 

 

I get pretty tired of these "accusations" - Thai ladies like money!!! - as if other people don't? Even Bill gates and Warren Buffett want more money than they have... not quite universal, but near everyone wants more money... and if a 60 yr old guy is lucky enough to have a wife half his age, of course there is going to be a financial security aspect. This is no secret... is it? 

 

But what does bother me, is the meanness. Some of the guys on this forum are filled with hatred for Thai ladies.. Do you think they don't notice? Do you think they don't respond accordingly? 

Not sure if you were addressing just my post or every other post on this thread; you ramble on so.  

You did say, "It is interesting that you and others make comparisons using bar girls." I use that comparison and see it as quite obvious. In sin sot, the parents are asking for money so you can have one of their daughters. In bar fine, the bar owners are asking for money so you can have one of their girls. I reiterate, the comparison is quite obvious to me.

Then you say, "Maybe you are starting out with a lack of respect for someone who is not a bar girl." How do you read that I have a lack of respect for someone NOT a bar girl? 

Furthermore, your correlation to buying a house in the Western world makes little sense; that purchase can be in your name; here it cannot. Even though the female is often favored in the West, it is nowhere near the favoritism the Thai receives in such altercations here.  I see nowhere I insinuated that one should not treat their wife with kindness or to support them well.  I made no mention of Thai ladies liking money or that there was or was not a financial relationship involved.

I simply explained why I would not pay sin sot for a bar girl or a hi-so girl. I also offered my opinion that sin sot was waning in Thai society. I know of two weddings in the last three years in which no sin sot was paid. Both ladies were young, attractive, no kids, never before married, college educated, from middle-class families and neither were nor ever had been bar girls.  One of the grooms was a Thai friend of mine; the other was my son. Consequently, I know both brides and grooms well. In fact, the father of my daughter-in-law and I are good friends. He and I discussed sin sot prior to the wedding. I am sure it helped because he liked my son, but more important to him; his daughter and my son were in love. He wanted her to be happy more than he wanted some money. 

Sounds like a good father to me.

9 hours ago, craigt3365 said:

What a change for Reince.  Zero respect for this guy.

 

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/12/11/reince-priebus-lies-about-russian-hacking-on-tv.html

 

 

What a change....

The Trumpeter's focus is on misinformation--don't let fact get in the way of what the plebes want to hear.

6 minutes ago, khunPer said:

In that case it will not be $10,000 – expect to give $30k to $40k or (much) more in cash, plus diamond ring and an agreed amount of gold – you better start to save, or better move on.

Photo of Sin Sot at a "not some Isaan farm girl" wedding I've been guest at...

The skin-tones of those pictured do not appear to be hi-so.

5 hours ago, steven100 said:

There's nothing wrong with paying an acceptable sin sod,  if you are happy with the family and love the girl then that what matters.

 

Or you could disagree with the request and culture, go back home

and find some ugly old hag with no sin sod.

It amazes me that some pot belly farangs have it in their minds that they can get a girl half their age to give to their every need without building a house, without contributing any money, without helping the parents, without doing anything because they think the girls will come running. 

lol ....  they are dreaming IMO.

 

There are other options than staying here in accordance with Thai culture. Many pot-bellied farangs, as you call them, give their half-their-age wives a better life than they would have had without the farang. Marrying a Thai shouldn't have to mean buying property you can never own or paying sin sot from which you may never benefit.  When two cultures marry, there are many ways to sort out cultural differences; love helps make it an easy compromise.

5 hours ago, killbill said:

I did share your view, and did not want to pay sin sod. So we never got married but stayed together....till she suddenly had a new bf. Then I did really understand that I was a fool not to pay. Some 200.000 bath is a small prize to not loose the girl you love and care about.

 

think again ....ot seems brave not to pay but you may end loosing this game.

So, you your girl didn't love you more than sin sot? I think you were lucky to find out.

6 hours ago, kovaltech said:

Just leave Thailand... obviously you don't care for the real Thai culture that comes with a Thai wife...

 

Actually, that goes for anybody who don't respect the Thai culture... Just leave...

I know Thais who dislike sin sot and do not pay it. Should they go to?

11 hours ago, cheapskatesam said:

My flight is on Wednesday and i planned to meet her and go for dinner.. 

i've bought her a handbag yesterday from the designer outlet near me and some other bits and bobs from the UK like chocolates and stuff.. 

 

now everything is screwed up in my mind after she went berserk on me about money.. after my half hearted "joke".. 

Half-hearted joke?  You are the one who dropped the "would you" line.  She took it seriously. Give her those things you have for her and tell her truthfully if you want to continue the relationship. Sin sot is always negotiable.

10 hours ago, kenk24 said:

Do you not know of the Thai custom of Sin Sod? This is not something made up for foreigners. But there are endless threads on this. I think in your case, she is barking up the wrong tree... 

 

And for all of those who will rail against it - - I always wonder if they would gladly accept if the custom were reversed... 

I rail against sin sot. In my culture the bride's parents fork-over the assets to the groom; it's called a dowry. So, why should I have to play Thai custom, why can’t the bride’s parents abide by my custom and pay me? Or better yet, why don’t we simply allow the two cultures to cancel each other out?

Cultural difference is not my real problem with sin sot. I see a logical problem. To me, sin sot is no different than a bar fine. You pay papasan or mamasan for the girl in a bar fine and you pay papa and mama for the girl in sin sot. Both actions allow you to take the girl home and have sex with her.

Of course, sin sot is intended to be permanent. If the bar fine customer wants to keep the girl longer; he needs to pay a permanent bar fine. The permanent bar fine costs more and increases if the girl is especially gifted in looks, body, age or capabilities--quite similar to education, social status, age and looks in sin sot pricing.

However, as you know the dowry has lost Western cultural acceptance due to modern societal changes. I think the Thais have begun to realize that societal change. It is quite common for the bride's parents to just give the sin sot back to the groom or to only make a statement that the groom paid sin-sot without any actual transfer of assets. Of course, it helps if the groom gives the bride some jewelry as a showpiece--sound familiar guys, like an engagement ring in Western society.

8 hours ago, newnative said:

All true.  Once upon a time Miss X set up some tables and chairs on the public sidewalk and nobody called her on it.   Mr. Y next door noticed there was no punishment so he set up his laundry drying racks on the sidewalk, too.  Mr. Z then decided he would go one step further and he put some chairs in the street to block anyone from parking.  Nobody said boo.  And, so on and so on and here we are today.  Same for driving motorcycles on the sidewalk and the wrong way, double parking, etc. etc.  Really, the only thing that works is money fines and stiff penalties for unpaid fines.  And, not small fines--it needs to sting.  And, the only other thing that works is permanent, everyday enforcement. No more of these one or two day crackdowns.  The regular police don't want to do the work so a separate, permanent crew is needed. Sort of the old meter maids but with expanded duties.  Sometimes dangerous work dealing with the irate people they will be ticketing so let them keep a nice percentage of what they collect.  None of this is brain surgery--and, unfortunately, none of this will happen because the will just isn't there yet.

Give the cops 20% of the taking from the fines

14 minutes ago, Jonmarleesco said:

This can't be a serious question. Not in Thailand, the land of non-enforcement.

No, it's more like the land of selective enforcement.

On 1/7/2017 at 2:47 PM, newnative said:

Funny you should post this as there was an article in the Bangkok Post about the new Bangkok governor trying to crack down on motorcycles on the sidewalks there.  Nice he is trying but likely the effort will fail, as they have in the past.  What is needed in both cities is a permanent crew of patrolling enforcers with the power to issue tickets to motorcycle violators, sidewalk vendors, and anyone else that encroaches on the walkways--with large fines.  They could also be tasked with ticketing double parkers and vehicles that park illegally.  Could be a fairly dangerous job so the patrol crew should be able to keep half of the fines they collect.

The concept of an uncluttered throughway is simply not here.  Look at the businesses which place tables, chairs, signs, food carts, and other obstructions on the walkways in front of their places. No wonder driving and parking motor scooters is so common on those walkways, they are not passable anyway. Look at the double-parking in the streets, their inability to park within three feet of the curb, the fact that they simply cannot stay on their side of the traffic lines and the complete disregard for oncoming traffic if they care to pass. Did you ever wonder what they are thinking when they block your exit from a door way or an elevator when they are trying to get in.

One of the reasons I have always preferred Asia is the care and treatment in the local tonsorial parlors. I frequent a very nice shop where I have my favorite female barber, an a/c private room, and a very comfortable chair in which to relax while I am being serviced. Tea, coffee or water and some sweet snacks are served free; other drinks and foods can easily be had.  My barber washes and cuts my hair, shaves my cheeks and neck, trims my beard, cleans my ears, trims my nose hair, braids my pony tail and gives me a foot, hand, neck and head massage.The bill is B180 for this service and I tip her B100 for the good service I receive. I often remain in the shop playing thirteen card and drinking Chinese wine. 

On 1/7/2017 at 8:41 PM, anotheruser said:

Sure she worked at Robinson's and learned English there. Anyway my suggestion stands.

She may have actually taken an interest in learning English in school--some kids do, you know. Instead of actually having a job, she may have been the caretaker of young or elderly relatives at home--some girls do, you know. Consequently, as I see it, the only thing that still stands is the ignorance of your suggestion.

Seems you should have been a bit more picky when selecting a wife.

2 hours ago, Ricardo said:

 

In the case of a student, it may be some years before they can obtain a card, how can they pay for airline-tickets until then ? 

 

It's a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem  ...

...  can't get a card until you have a regular job/income

...  can't get a job until you graduate

...  can't study without flying to the country where the university is

...  can't fly without charging the ticket to a credit-card

...  so Bank of Mum & Dad pay for airline tickets, but don't travel with the child

 

Believe me, I will be only too happy, when the day comes that my son doesn't need to use my card !

I had a credit card in college, so did my son.  It did not take a full-time job, all it took was good credit to get a card. Buy something on credit and pay it back--it may take you backing him until he establishes credit, but once he has established credit it is easy; too easy for most.

Just now, possum1931 said:

OK, maybe I'm reading this wrong, "100% of the expats living in Thailand do not return home", to me, that says that all expats do not return home, yet you said that two did.

Well, read the OP lead-in, it says, “What percentage of the Expats move to Thailand with the intent of living there indefinitely/forever move back home? I heard the number is extremely high (close to 100%), but that may depend on where a person is living.”

You said, “OK, maybe I'm reading this wrong, "100% of the expats living in Thailand do not return home", to me, that says that all expats do not return home, yet you said that two did.”

Two returning home makes it all,  100%?  Even when I specifically stated six who died here and eight who went somewhere other than their home countries?  When you say, 100% of expats living in Thailand do not return home, it means that all, everyone, does not return home. Two expats returning home is some percentage far less than 100.