1 hour ago, csabo said:

There is a balcony nearby with your name on it.  The biggest cop-out of all is 

"every thing that happens in your life is meant to happen , sort of your destiny type of thing " 

Loosers who don't plan and take care of business often say this to console themselves. 

Women especially love that "we broke up but everything has a reason". Yeah the reason was you were a selfish <deleted> and you will die alone unless you change. 

You have all these regrets and the whole story started sitting in a bar with bunch of the same guys. All wallowing in your own misery but masking it as a night out with the boys. Then one of you will die but by the weekend it will be business as usual. Remember no matter where you go there you are. Drinking won't change that. 

Drinking is certainly a trap. It is my biggest regret, but not one that I had the tools to deal with so no point in demonising it or myself. It provided many short term laughs which really do not amount to much in the long term. I would not say that drinking only consists of wallowing in misery but all the same it is a fool's paradise. Sticking to the truth is what provides real rewards and drinking is very often a way of avoiding that.

I do not agree with many of the posts on here about this being a depressing topic, we should be able to handle our past mistakes without fear or over indulgence. It is a good topic.

Edited November 6, 20178 yr by Thomas33399
Adding info.

A very honest, retrospective appraisal of one's past life. Well done for revealing your regrets. I thank my lucky stars I'm not suicidal with a past similar to yours.

 

Forget past mistakes. Erase them from your life and use the remainder of your days on this planet enjoying yourself. Self pity is no way to go. 

20 hours ago, torrzent said:

I regret not having more regrets.  These types of dull conversations are why I avoid hanging out with the rank and file expats

 

Me too. The only thing I can think of regretting and can learn from is giving out my phone number too quickly. Now I say let's stay aquaintences. You will cry less when I don't return your calls with offers to go get drunk. 

8 minutes ago, Thomas33399 said:

Drinking is certainly a trap. It is my biggest regret, but not one that I had the tools to deal with so no point in demonising it or myself. It provided many short term laughs which really do not amount to much in the long term. I would not say that drinking only consists of wallowing in misery but all the same it is a fool's paradise. Sticking to the truth is what provides real rewards and drinking is very often a way of avoiding that.

I do not agree with many of the posts on here about this being a depressing topic, we should be able to handle our past mistakes without fear or over indulgence. It is a good topic.

Agreed. I drink. When appropriate and responsibly and not to excess. It's the guys drinking day in and day out that are masking something with booze. And surrounded by a bunch of "friends" who have the same issues so no one has the courage to say "Hey this is killing us, why don't we turn this into a volleyball club instead?" 

I never been able to understand this concept of regret really. 

Doesnt it actually means that you dont like the way things turned out for you?

Since if you had changed certain things everything now in your life could be very different.

 

Many consider themself lucky to retire early in a place like Thailand.

Dont have to struggle, mortgages, property settlement that crucify the man,

 not have to work like a dog and put up with D'heads and whiners and red tape rules in our own country.

 

I done some stupid things (ok maybe many) but i did a few good things also

 

One being a very lucky good investment

And the one time i showed a little kindness to a Thai person in my country when not many would have. Which led to a whole new life.

 

Just these 2 things been such a big life changer, and for the better ,

so no way would i swap all the bad things if if meant to loosing these 2 happenings.

 

No, regrets is nonsense and silly business.

If you dont like something about your life, then go change it or do something different.

 

I think we all have regrets, but for me the biggest regret I have is I quit smoking for about 8 months, some 30 years ago, but like a fool and at a party, I started up again. I found it pretty easy to quit then so I saw no problems doing that again.

 

But they day never came again and now I find it 10 times harder to quit, when I have tried. So my biggest regret in life was to start smoking cigarettes in the first place. Now it will be the death of me.

I am nearly 87. No regrets really except I wish I had not smoked when I was young. I stopped at 30 yrs but even smoking for 15 years is the cause of my present COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). Perhaps I would never have smoked if "Players" had not donated  free cigaretts when we went on a schoolboys holiday camping expedition. The average age was 17. Criminal !!

21 hours ago, torrzent said:

I regret not having more regrets.  These types of dull conversations are why I avoid hanging out with the rank and file expats

 

 

 

Hans Zimmer used this song in inception. Since the movie was about dreams and how time in dreams slows down the use of this song was quite clever.

 

 

 

Live in the moment !  Most people are unhappy because they dwell in the past or play " I wish " in the future...both of which you have little or no control... nostalgia is not what it used to be !

I am 70...& I think anyone born around my time ..or after were born in a golden age.

.

I have never had to pick up a gun to go to war.

I have Never starved---(I've been very hungry-- my own fault)

Never been in a compromising position so bad, I had to make personal sacrifices that have seen so many Guys/Girls/children  do as I travelled all over Asia/India/S America...etc

I have lived most of my years with a welfare safety net under me--didn't use it much, but the fact it was there took away most my life's worries.

Until I came here...never had to worry about medical treatment--its there--its free.

My Children's education was free---their welfare was free.

No one was going to let us starve in the street.

So I guess, I have never had to face the sort of adversity --that I have seen some people in other 3rd world countries face.

I have Lived/worked  in 5 different countries.......Yes "for me" Thailand is good.

.

With Regrets.......I remember a line from Peter Pan..

Don't look back Wendy...we're not going that way...

my only regret is not coming to Thailand sooner so I could have drunk more piss and banged more.

I regret wasting over 40 years of my life in long-term relationships with Western women.

Having said that, I've made up for lost time here.

Edited November 6, 20178 yr by bazza73

1 hour ago, bazza73 said:

I regret wasting over 40 years of my life in long-term relationships with Western women.

Having said that, I've made up for lost time here.

#Metoo

But luckily it was only 30 years.

5 hours ago, tingtongtourist said:

I never been able to understand this concept of regret really. 

Doesnt it actually means that you dont like the way things turned out for you?

Since if you had changed certain things everything now in your life could be very different.

As I see it, there have to be degrees of regret, much the same as if there are degrees of sadness.

 

As an example I do regret not going for a football trial with QPR, but it has never affected my life and throughout the 50 years since I would have probably only thought about it for about five minutes in total, so no real, big regret, more of wondering what might have happened.

 

And as another poster has mentioned, if my life had taken a different turn at that particular point I probably wouldn't have enjoyed all of the adventures, travel and successes that occurred on my chosen pathway, so no looking back in sadness, more what would the outcome have been?

 

Even my disastrous marriage taught me something – – never get married again, you are better off on your own. Even though it cost me a lot of money at the time and 2.5 years of heartache, I have rarely looked back on it with regret, mainly because it is in the past, it was a learning curve and nothing I can do about it other than to look forward and be positive, so I have.

I wish I had saved more money instead of buying lots of expensive useless stuff. 

I should be flush but I'm not and it's all my own fault. 

 

I regret never smoking, drinking, or getting married and having children else I would have about which most people on here seem to want to regret.

I regret spending about 7 years in a depression, playing World of Warcraft most of the time and neglecting friends. I should have visited a shrink earlier.

 

I regret spending 4 years studying, when I would have earned more money and gained more experienced if I just started working right away (software developers don't really need education to get a job and if you're self-motivated you can learn a lot in your own free time).

 

Apart from that I don't regret much.

I am happy that I am still relatively young and look forward to move to Thailand next year to stay with my girlfriend and baby. Happy to start building a relative cheap house (1.500.000 Baht) and I don't expect to have any regrets on this in the future, even if my GF and I would ever separate, as I feel my GF and baby need a proper house to live in. I will keep some savings separate as well and don't plan to marry (looking to get Thai Elite Visa), just in case I ever need to go back to Europe (which I don't plan to).

 

I seem to be different to most expats, in that I just like to live a quiet, peaceful life. I don't like to drink and party much and neither does my girlfriend. I just like to work on my projects from home and hopefully starting next year this will be possible while also working a bit on-line for clients. Looking forward for the easy life and no future regrets :)

You are a lot like most expats in that every one seems to think they are different.

1 hour ago, wolf81 said:

I regret spending about 7 years in a depression, playing World of Warcraft most of the time and neglecting friends. I should have visited a shrink earlier.

 

I regret spending 4 years studying, when I would have earned more money and gained more experienced if I just started working right away (software developers don't really need education to get a job and if you're self-motivated you can learn a lot in your own free time).

 

Apart from that I don't regret much.

I am happy that I am still relatively young and look forward to move to Thailand next year to stay with my girlfriend and baby. Happy to start building a relative cheap house (1.500.000 Baht) and I don't expect to have any regrets on this in the future, even if my GF and I would ever separate, as I feel my GF and baby need a proper house to live in. I will keep some savings separate as well and don't plan to marry (looking to get Thai Elite Visa), just in case I ever need to go back to Europe (which I don't plan to).

 

I seem to be different to most expats, in that I just like to live a quiet, peaceful life. I don't like to drink and party much and neither does my girlfriend. I just like to work on my projects from home and hopefully starting next year this will be possible while also working a bit on-line for clients. Looking forward for the easy life and no future regrets :)

You're investing a lot of hopes in this gf ...........  did you DNA test the baby?

Hope she's on the level.

 

The Thai gf I moved here to be with had an American husband, that she forgot to mention, and he was on a trawler in the North Sea earning money to send her. A bit later she tried to kill him, but he survived, if a bit mangled. I don't regret breaking up with her, I enjoyed my time with her, but I did feel a bit sorry for the American. Thai timeshares ..... you gotta love em.

Edited November 6, 20178 yr by MaeJoMTB

1 hour ago, JLCrab said:

You are a lot like most expats in that every one seems to think they are different.

Mostly the problem is they think their gf is different.

11 hours ago, csabo said:

There is a balcony nearby with your name on it.  The biggest cop-out of all is 

"every thing that happens in your life is meant to happen , sort of your destiny type of thing " 

Loosers who don't plan and take care of business often say this to console themselves. 

Women especially love that "we broke up but everything has a reason". Yeah the reason was you were a selfish <deleted> and you will die alone unless you change. 

You have all these regrets and the whole story started sitting in a bar with bunch of the same guys. All wallowing in your own misery but masking it as a night out with the boys. Then one of you will die but by the weekend it will be business as usual. Remember no matter where you go there you are. Drinking won't change that. 

Bro, PM me for a chill. 

2 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Mostly the problem is they think their gf is different.

I'm sure most Thai people are good people. But yeah, there are a lot of rotten apple's as well. Her family seems good people and they don't expect me to pay for anything, so that is nice at least. I think if people grow up in a good family with good parents, these children tend to become good people themselves, usually.

 

My girlfriend is also about the same age as me, so it's not the typically old farang with the young Thai lady situation. 

 

With that said, I will keep a back-up plan. Will keep money separate if things don't work out. Because of all the horror stories I've read. My GF will not know anything about this money. If we stay together for the rest of our lives, it will be useful for our pension. And otherwise I will be able to buy some other apartment for myself at a later point and just live alone (because if this relationship would fail, I have very little interest in trying another one).

 

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You're investing a lot of hopes in this gf ...........  did you DNA test the baby?

Hope she's on the level.

 

The Thai gf I moved here to be with had an American husband, that she forgot to mention, and he was on a trawler in the North Sea earning money to send her. A bit later she tried to kill him, but he survived, if a bit mangled. I don't regret breaking up with her, I enjoyed my time with her, but I did feel a bit sorry for the American. Thai timeshares ..... you gotta love em.

100% sure it's my baby. I know the horror stories. It's a risk here. It's hard to judge the characters of people of course.

Oh dear the usual suspects, regretting their Thai adventures, drag the thread into another Thai female bashing/beware/you are doomed thread.

9 hours ago, wolf81 said:

I should have visited a shrink earlier.

yes .... that's a real regret.

7 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Mostly the problem is they think their gf is different.

Yes -- and what makes at least some think they are different is that they think they have a Thai GF who is different. Mine (to use the words of the late Elizabeth Taylor) is an 'avaricious b*tch'. I don't know whether that makes her different or not.

Edited November 6, 20178 yr by JLCrab

3 hours ago, JLCrab said:

Yes -- and what makes at least some think they are different is that they think they have a Thai GF who is different. Mine (to use the words of the late Elizabeth Taylor) is an 'avaricious b*tch'. I don't know whether that makes her different or not.

I can't understand why someone would stay with a person they hold in such low regard.

10 hours ago, JLCrab said:

Yes -- and what makes at least some think they are different is that they think they have a Thai GF who is different. Mine (to use the words of the late Elizabeth Taylor) is an 'avaricious b*tch'. I don't know whether that makes her different or not.

I think it makes you a good judge of character, rather than a gullible fool.

6 hours ago, bazza73 said:

I can't understand why someone would stay with a person they hold in such low regard.

 

Edited November 7, 20178 yr by MaeJoMTB

6 hours ago, bazza73 said:

I can't understand why someone would stay with a person they hold in such low regard.

T*ts.

The best thing I ever did was live in the dark edges of society. I wasted my youth on drugs and alcohol and party party party. Best years of my life. Then some fool told me I should be married, have a kid, buy a house , have a respectable career. I have enjoyed both, but I sure do miss sitting down the pub talking about my regrets with my mates.