Understanding Thai Ladies

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I think when you post a question like this, you already know the answer. You are in fact posting a question to vent, which is pretty understandable.

 

Just don't make the same mistake again.

Edited August 6, 2018 by theguyfromanotherforum

[Skypirate]

Not at all, presumably you may be the one venting.   Cheer up lad.

[Kadilo]

Yes. Good lesson. Farang get angry and burn house. Farang go to jail longtime. 
When I realized that my relationship wasn't working, I left. House, car and motorbike. No hard feelings. I did love her and was happy to provide her with everything.
Now I'm looking for a new lady that lives at the beach. Don't want to build another house upcountry. I like to be by the sea.
Just a Canadian guy building houses in SEA one lady at a time.

Ignore all these billy big bollo*posters. They love to talk the talk like some kind of hard nut. Who in their right. I don’t would deliberately burn down someone’s home in Thailand knowing the consequences?

Everyone knows the score when you shack up and build a home. It’s a massive gamble we take. No one forces us. If it don’t work just hold your head up and walk away. Start again and move on. That’s what a person “manning up” does.


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[theguyfromanotherforum]

1 hour ago, whaleboneman said:

Yes. Good lesson. Farang get angry and burn house. Farang go to jail longtime. 

When I realized that my relationship wasn't working, I left. House, car and motorbike. No hard feelings. I did love her and was happy to provide her with everything.

Now I'm looking for a new lady that lives at the beach. Don't want to build another house upcountry. I like to be by the sea.

Just a Canadian guy building houses in SEA one lady at a time.

 

Can you build me a house? I'm in Canada now and will take care of it while you experiment in SE Asia. After all, you do need a place to come back to.

[cyberfarang]

On 8/5/2018 at 10:26 AM, Igetby said:

Thank you for your reply, it was very re-assuring.  For the record although I have used the term 'partner' we are not married although it has been discussed.   I did not use the term g/f because of our respective ages.

You`ll find, that if you tell your partner you intend going away for a while, she probably won`t care. Odds are she`ll respond by saying; up to you, whatever makes you happy.

 

If you do decide to leave, you`re never get the house back, you can write that off.

 

For those over 55 going into relationships with younger Thai women, it will be the same, mostly about material possessions and money. Once the woman has achieved from the guy what she wants, very soon she`ll become bored with the relationship.

 

Sorry to say; guys only get the women they deserve, and you fell right into it. You either stay and I can assure you the situation will not improve or move on and count your losses.  Good luck.

[JLCrab]

8 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

guys only get the women they deserve,

Gee I sure hope so.

[fanjita]

3 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Gee I sure hope so.

The naughty ones.

[JLCrab]

2 minutes ago, fanjita said:

6 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Gee I sure hope so.

The naughty ones.

Yeah but 2 is enough at any given time.

[fanjita]

1 minute ago, JLCrab said:

Yeah but 2 is enough at any given time.

On rotation with another two pairs.  You're getting old, I can tell.

[JLCrab]

No -- you may be talking hypothetical. I'm not.

[whaleboneman]

23 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Can you build me a house? I'm in Canada now and will take care of it while you experiment in SE Asia. After all, you do need a place to come back to.

You're not my type and I already have a nice house on a small island in Canada.

[cyberfarang]

14 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Gee I sure hope so.

There are 2 types of bad girls. Bad girls that are really good, meaning when they`re good, they`re good and when they`re bad, they`re even better, and bad girls that are simply just bad, meaning the gold diggings that treat their men like crap. Either way, it`s gonna cost you.

[JLCrab]

1 minute ago, cyberfarang said:

There are 2 types of bad girls. Bad girls that are really good, meaning when they`re good, they`re good and when they`re bad, they`re even better, and bad girls that are simply just bad, meaning the gold diggings that treat their men like crap. Either way, it`s gonna cost you.

Huh?

It's a simple formula really:

She wants money.

I want sex.

And the rest we work out as necessary.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

9 minutes ago, whaleboneman said:

You're not my type and I already have a nice house on a small island in Canada.

 

Cheap Charlie.

 

Farang kee nok

[neeray]

1 hour ago, See Will said:

same old story since years..

Mine id different, mine works in a Restaurant and as soon out of sight she will be found hot dressed in hip waving in Insomnia walking street.

 

I guess its about 60% the story Love, new mobile phone, scooter for father, buffalo surgery and Grandma's bad sh*t... 

and when all has been paid the test drill in the wallet is over...

...and the serious love story starts, a car or even a house? 

then she turns over into a sexual dead zombie just to get rid of you...

 

14 years ago I bumped into a girl in Isaan working on a rice field, didn't speak English and as we came together:

No I do NOT want a house, No just put the money on YOUR Bank account and put the household money incl rent on mine.

 

5 years ago I heard a wimping from the bedroom and as I asked whats wrong, she replied with her open bank book on her chest.

You have learned me so much, also what 1Mil baht is in Numbers on the calculator.

But, How does it look like, is it a table or a room full?

I replied "why you ask me?"

"because I have been by the bank since a long time to print my Bank Book with the household money, and the bank gave me so much extra that it is now over one Million.."

 

She might be one of the 40% but she was not found in walking street or even in a restaurant in Jomtien..  

She is my little Farmer's girl, loves singing in her garden, is stunned what you can teach a dog if you care, almost never goes out

and shopping ends up in looking for a Magazine, checking for a dress not more than 300 baht and working one week sewing on it until the style of the one in the Magazine is copied.

When I am asking for what occasion she will wear it the answer is mostly .. when my sister comes I will show her I can.. 

 

If I would be you I would have said good bye already and taking the next 40% chance finding the right one.. there are lots out there, not all Thai Girls are bad.. 

 

This is a lovely story, very refreshing read on TVF. Thank you for posting it.

(isn't it great when you hook up with one of the 40% !)

[cyberfarang]

13 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Huh?

It's a simple formula really:

She wants money.

I want sex.

And the rest we work out as necessary.

But in the OP`s case, she`s getting the money and he isn`t getting any nooky.

 

Old Chinese proverb: Only fools rush in / But I can't help falling in love with you / Shall I stay?

 

 

[fanjita]

13 minutes ago, neeray said:

This is a lovely story, very refreshing read on TVF. Thank you for posting it.

(isn't it great when you hook up with one of the 40% !)

I'm welling up. 

[JLCrab]

4 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

But in the OP`s case, she`s getting the money and he isn`t getting any nooky.

 

Old Chinese proverb: Only fools rush in / But I can't help falling in love with you / Shall I stay?

Huh?

[fanjita]

1 minute ago, JLCrab said:

Huh?

Top twenty hits.  

[JLCrab]

13 minutes ago, fanjita said:

Top twenty hits.  

No -- Alexander Pope.

 

But to the notion that one or more female Thai wild child is gonna cost me, I look at this quote from Citizen Kane on his money losing newspaper enterprise:

 

Charles Foster Kane: You're right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars *next* year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I'll have to close this place in... 60 years.
 

Edited August 6, 2018 by JLCrab

[TumblinDice]

11 minutes ago, fanjita said:

I'm welling up. 

 

[fanjita]

9 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

No -- Alexander Pope.

So dramatic ?

[MyFriend You]

2 hours ago, neeray said:

I have a friend in Canada who had (had = past tense) a friend who married a Pinay. She talked him into selling his house in Canada and building in Ph. They built the house in her name, shared his cash and then suddenly friends and family back home would message and call and receive no communications back. Go figure!

That was 5 years ago. But I imagine the flower gardens are growing well.

Its easier to die in PI than in Thailand I can tell you a few stories.............

[bermannor]

OP, there are different aspects to consider 

1. Do you belief in rebirth, so stay on and tell yourself, I'll do better in my next life. If not, better leave as long as you can (financially and health wise). The rest of your life might be hell on earth. She has no respect now for you and she will not have in the future, she has her family, relatives and village community. There is no mutual understanding.

2. You have no kids, so what keeps you staying. See the house you built as a good deed for somebody, as a present and good karma for you.

3. You may ask yourself, what should I do when I leave her? You don't like staying in a village, you will always be unhappy with your situation and become bitter.

4. I am not sure if it is good to stay on in Thailand. Move to another country if your finances allow, motivate yourself for a new start, may be do some social work, keep yourself busy, not hang around with expats, killing time in pubs.

5. Don't slide into another financial commitment.

Good luck!

 

Edited August 6, 2018 by bermannor
Spelling

[bermannor]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 5:42 AM, Peterw42 said:

OP, considering the GF sees it as a normal relationship, that probably includes the normal practice of you having a mia noi (second wife). For a lot of Thais thats the way the relationship goes, and is considered pretty normal, almost expected.  I have met some friends and family of my wife and seen Thai relationships were the mia noi is openly accepted and discussed, almost like having a cleaning lady.

"why you want to cause trouble", let me translate, it would probably be considered normal and almost expected that, at this stage of the relationship, you get intimacy and sex elsewhere. If your GF stopped cooking, you would probably think nothing of getting take-away, its the same with sex for many Thai relationships.

Sorry, but he is not Thai, he has no kids, he is too old for a mia noi and may not afford one or more mia nois. Don't forget, he lives in a village.

I am also not sure if expats who have mia nois, are really accepted in Thai society, specially in rural areas.

And most imported: Does he have the character to have a mia noi?

In my opinion a totally stupid recommendation.

[bermannor]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 7:03 AM, BritManToo said:

Agreed, a Thai guy would either give her a good hiding or leave if she badmouthed him in public (maybe both).

It's a sad fact that women don't love or respect nice guys AWALT. 

No sex for you = no money for her.

 

Carrot and stick

Women all over the world are basically shagging men for a house.

Once you buy them the house outright, the sex will stop. (a big mortgage will usually keep the sex coming)

The equation sex = money or house or medicine for sick waterbuffalo is 100% correct for expats living in Bangkok and Pattaya. But how does it come that so many of these sales ladies have Thai boyfriends and finance their lazy life ??

[bermannor]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 7:22 AM, jenny2017 said:

Once he's gone, without telling her where to, she'll soon realize what she had

That is typical western thinking. She might give a damn if he is around or not.

[bermannor]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 4:46 PM, swissie said:

OP is not married. That's the crucial point.
If OP can prove that HE paid for the house, legally the house belongs to the OP, 100%.
If necessary, the house can be sold by court-order. The court proceedings are not overly complicated, but it will still take 2 to 3 years.
Ahhhhh......if only those houses were on wheels!
Cheers.

2 -3 years hell on earth! Good luck!

[bermannor]

4 hours ago, whaleboneman said:

I had a wonderful relationship for four years with this lady. And I really enjoyed building the house and furnishing it. I even painted it myself. It was an incredible adventure and we also traveled all over SEA together. But in the end I realized that our relationship wasn't going anywhere and left.

Now I've met a Pinay lady so I guess I'm going to learn about house building in the Philippines next. Life can always be an adventure if you want.

I hope, it's your pocket money!

[KhaoYai]

No matter what you say or try, nothing will change - all that will happen is you'll have wasted a few more weeks/months before the inevitable happens. Leave now and save yourself that hassle.  Even if a miracle happened and you sorted things out - you're not going to accept Thai village life, its a rare western man who can. As you say, you do absolutely nothing. They do nothing - sit around on those bloody wooden platforms all day - there's more to life.

 

Think back, there will have been signs but I bet you missed them - I did.  When I was just dating my Ex, I bought a house in Khao Yai that I'd previously told the owner I would be interested in if it ever came up for sale.  She was really pissed off and said her village was in Buriram.  I didn't realise the significance of that as I'd only known her 3 months and marriage had never been talked about. She worked on the Eastern Seaboard at the time but clearly (as it seems now) had our future mapped out - which involved me building a house in a shithole Isaan village, moving there and dying of boredom - I didn't, I'm now divorced and still alive.

 

As an aside, I did find probably the only advantage of the Thai land laws - foreigners not being able to own land. On divorce I had absolutley no assets because of course, I don't own the house at Khao Yai do I?  I can't ?. (I'm perfectly happy with the way I do control that house though)

Edited August 6, 2018 by KhaoYai