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ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 I've joined a new web dating site for arsonists. They send out new matches every week. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 As I get older I seem to have a change of taste sense, I mean Southern comfort tastes lovely but standard comfort tastes like fabric conditioner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 I was terrible at spelling when I was at school. Brilliant at jografy though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 I couldn't afford my renewal fees for our local bondage club, but they were good to me and organised a whip round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 For her birthday, my wife told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. So I bought her a treadmill. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 To the woman in Tesco’s with the screaming kids, if you're wondering how the condoms got in your trolley... You're welcome. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2022 I was present when my wife was giving birth. The midwife and doctor were at the bed but a strange fellow was by the door with his head in a sand bucket. I asked what he was doing, and the midwife said not to worry, he was the ostritrician. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 "Hello, and welcome to assumption club. I think we all know why we're here!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 Just found out a neighbour has been caught hoarding stolen items from people's gardens. Police found 100 lengths of feathered edge timber and 20 litres of creosote; all reported missing. He's the local fence. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 I met a transvestite in Manchester He had a Wigan address. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 Unfortunately my wife found a dead mouse in the kitchen cupboard this morning. She was horrified. She’s spent the whole day deep cleaning. All cupboards emptied and everything washed: pots, pans, cups, glasses, everything! Then she’s cleaned out the cupboards, the surfaces, the floor. It looks likes a brand new kitchen. Tomorrow I’m going to put the dead mouse in the bathroom. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 Nothing but bad luck today. Not only will the toilet not flush, I’m now banned from HomePro. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fasteddie Posted May 3, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2022 785064606_TopSoccerShootoutEverWithScottSterling-Original-_Trim.mp4 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Zyxel Posted May 4, 2022 Share Posted May 4, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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