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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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May be an image of text that says "An Irish joke ...Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy, "I'm gonna' get the day off. I'm gonna' pretend I've gone mad!" So Paddy climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts "I'm a light bulb, I'm a light bulb!" while Murphy watches in amazement. The foreman shouts, "Paddy, go home. You've gone mad." As Paddy leaves the site, Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. "Where do you think you're going?" asks the foreman. "Well, can't be working in the dark, can I?" said Murphy."

May be an image of text that says "I SENT MY HUSBAND TO BUY ALLSPICE IRIETURNS"

May be an image of drink and text that says "live in a small town. Someone called my mom and told her they saw me trying to buy alcohol at the grocery store. I'm 41."

May be an image of text that says "A 60 yearr old Billionaire came to the Bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife! Friend: How did she marry you? Billionaire: "I lied about my age!" Friend: "You said 45?" Billionaire: "No! said 90!""

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The self-deprecation society is taking applications for new members.
I've already put myself down.

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An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.
When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.
"I had to slap his face three times!"
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!"

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