I Don't Have Kids....

[sbk]

Having just attended two funerals back to back (neighbor's grandfather and another neighbor's wife) and will be attending a second cousin's son 100 days (after death tambun) and two more weddings in the next few days, it got me thinking if anyone else married to a Thai has or does these familial obligations?

My husband is local. Both of his parents and all 4 of his grandparents came from the island. He had something like a grand total of 24 aunts and uncles (8 have died) and had 41 first cousins (3 have died). Parent's first cousins are considered close relatives and called Aunt or Uncle as well. So, of course, their kids count too. and their kids.

His extremely large extended family is important to him and, from all appearances, is important to most of the local people. Funerals and weddings are well attended affairs and it is considered poor form to not show up for one of someone in your family. The relatives will always show up to help and there is never a shortage of volunteers for these events.

Is this huge family influence just where I live or do others experience it as well? If we had kids it would be tough to take them out of this, I think, because they get so much care and support from such a large family.

Do you attend family weddings, funerals, ordinations and house openings? Do you take your kids?

[chanchao]

Yes of course. Fortunately my wife's family isn't THAT big, and not everyone likes each other.

If I would take my kids would highly depend on the event and on the timing. Some of these events can get rowdy, especially also including the funerals. But I would take the kid for some functions, especially daytime events.

Heck we even had my sister in law do her wedding at our house. That worked rather well actually as it prevented the village riff-raff from joining.

[dereklev]

In the past 2 months I have attended at least 4 funerals, 3 100 day tamboons, 4 weddings and 3 for young men going into the temple.

These are the ones I personally went to, my wife went to at least as many again.......

Over Songkran there were a couple of parties for other reasons that I am not sure about.

Some are family members and some just people from the village or locality.

My wife has 8 brothers (1 dead) and 1 sister. Also her family have lived in the village for more than 70 years so she knows everyone in the area!!!

Village life is one big party!!!

[Nomad97]

Yes, we do go to some of the closer family events with our daughter. It is quite a large family too. My wife's grandfather had three wives (at the same time) and each of his wives had 6 or 7 children. That makes something like 18 to 20 aunties and uncles, plus a further 18 to 20 aunties and uncles (spouses of the original children). Each aunty or uncle produced an average of three children so that is something like 60 cousins. Not to mention that many of the cousins are now married and have several children each of their own. That brings the extended family unit to well over one hundred surviving members of various ages.

Quite honestly it is a nightmare for me to keep track of who is who!

[meme]

I cant tell you how many weddings, funerals and house warmings we have been to and I have only been with my bf for 3 years. His village is basically his mother's family, she is one of ten and then there are now four generations all living in the same village. Plus his father's side of the family who is not from the same village but there seems to be hundreds of them. So no matter where we are we always run into one of his "cousins" (not to mention the possibility of 1000 people coming to our up coming wedding!....gulp!). All the funerals, weddings, and house warmings are the same. Cow curry, tents set up on the street, karaoke and people give money to the family. The only difference is there is either a new house, bride and groom or sometimes the party is in the temple for the funeral. As you said SBK they are never short for volunteers and the women and men have their parts. It is kind of a huge relief seeing as I am planning our wedding in Canada, that I can just sit back and let his family take care of our Thai wedding.

I have to say that part of my attachment to Thailand is how families interact with eachother (or at least how my bfs family does) and their traditions. When one of the elders of the village past away from old age, they basically made her as comfortable as possible and the family gathered everyday and night at her house. They ate and drank and said their good byes and eventully she passed with a house full of people who loved her and who were there to make her last days good as possible.

When my bf came to Canada he was totally shocked how we all lived in our individual houses and how detached it seemed. When we talk about the future children we hope to have, we have agreeded that they will be brought up around his family and their tradtitions while they are young so they will have that as there foundation. As we also plan for both of our families and cultures to play signifigant rolls in their lives, it will be very contrasting experiences for them.