Farang Deadbeats

[Ijustwannateach]

The topic: Deadbeat farangs.

Let's stick to it.

Warnings addressed by members to other posters warning them not to flame will be considered inflammatory themselves, even if phrased nicely. Hope I've made things clear...

Apparently not. It has been pointed out to me that those who have not seen the preceding removed information might misinterpret the above. Very well- in that case-

Please do not pre-emptively warn other posters not to flame (even nicely), when they have not in fact flamed. This is a kind of personal attack and is itself inflammatory. I do hope no one will continue to be confused by this.

[cdnvic]

###Just saw above post and will modify this post accordingly ###

Edited June 3, 2007 by cdnvic

[Ijustwannateach]

Thanks.

[larvidchr]

I think it all depends on the cirkumstances, I would not hesitate to help a real good friend, but that would then also be somone I have known for years, and if I thought that some guy/lady was in genuine trouble, I would help with whatever I found reasonable in the circumstance , having worked with all sorts of scammers for 20 years, I am hard to cheat, but if someone really should get the better of me, and it happens even to the best, I would shrug it of and put it down the bag with all the rest, I would rather give a bit, one time to many, than turn away someone in genuine trouble by mistake.

My Girlfriend and I also give to disabled beggars, and put a bit in collection boxes when we come across one, we always do it and dont think twice about it.

I couldent care less what others think about that, it is my way, and what I am comfortable with. What others do is up to them, I try not to jugde people to much, life is to short.

Farangs or Thais scamming others rutinely to make up for continius bad lifestyle choices wouldent however get my time of day, they are sad people impervius to the damage they cause.

Luckyly I have only come across one or two, we dont seem to move in the same circles.

Kind regards

Edited June 3, 2007 by larvidchr

[qwertz]

Most people with no intention of paying you back will disappear and avoid you thereafter.

Point made, friends like that you don't need.

Most people who can't pay you back will find further contact with you embarrassing

So now you've lost a potential friend.

Explain it that way and either don't lend or make clear they don't have to pay you back.

Sign in a Pattaya bar:

Don't ask for credit.

If you ask and don't get, you get angry.

If we give you credit and you don't pay it back, we get angry.

[britmaveric]

Make a policy of not loaning dosh to anyone, not personal but if one does this - my experience you end up putting your relationship at jeopardy and dosh simply isnt worth it.

I'd say you'd be far more likely to put the relationship with a good friend at jeopardy if you was not to lend them a few quid to get them out of a very sticky situation.

Not my mates then, so I'd be happy to be rid of them.

[solent01]

I'm lucky that I can SEE people, if one of my friends is in trouble regarding money, sure I will do what I can to help, but at the same time I am no fool. Do what you can for those you know well. Anybody else can kiss my ass.

[GuestHouse]

My cunning plan is to give anyone who wants to borrow money as hard a time getting a loan out of me as I have had in the past earning the money they want to borrow - I'm heading for the Western Desert next - Like you want to extend your life on the beach/bar stool out of money I earned in a desert camp! - YCGFYS.

And I’m not buying that ‘you can have friends or money nonsense’ – This is Thailand – No Money No Honey.

But I don't see it as just the loan bit. People who want to finance their life in Thailand out of other people's money will in general have a whole host of other <deleted> going on.

And I absolutely disagree with 'Ijustwannateach' in his comments about back packers. The vast majority of who are pretty well sorted for cash and not suffering the kind of life traumas that are common in the sexpat community.

Sticking a sign post outside your door that reads 'The Nearest Bank is 2.5 Kms from here' might help.

You could even get one of those leaflet stands they have in banks, fill it will loan application forms from various banks and place it on a table near your front door.

[Boo]

Your last 2 paragraphs are very funny guesthouse but actually not that bad an idea. I think girlx should print some cards with a map to the nearest bank on them & keep a few in her purse. When someone comes knocking for a hand out, open up your purse, they wil get all excited & then hand them the card with the map on it. Do it with a big grin on your face, they should get the messgae then

[jackmuu]

I don't associate with bums in my own country, I see no reason to just because you live in a foreign country. Don't lower your standards and if they ask for money just laugh it off. am always amazed why we feel embarrased to say no to someone who is thick faced enough to ask for a handout.

Edited June 4, 2007 by jackmuu

[Jet Gorgon]

Big no. I paid the bills for a rich farang couple when they were away from Thailand. The guy dies and the wife sticks me with the bills. 5555 GirlX, quit advertising your wealth and kindness. Is it your BF's friends asking for help? Foot down and door closed now.

[t.s]

i have a unique(?) problem... i am in a relatively good position in thailand as i make western money here. thus i live pretty comfortably. since i have been living here my social life as it involves foreigners has been one after another of them trying to mooch off of me! not just for the occasional drink or whatever- but they expect me to save them! in other words, they fall in love with thailand, stay longer than they can afford, to the point where they can't afford to do visa runs or even buy a plane ticket home, and then they come to me pretending to be my best friend, hoping i will give them a place to live/food/plane tickets, whatever. i helped the first person, an english girl, find a legitimate job (after supporting her for a couple of months) and got her back on her feet, but she lost the job after a month as she was out getting pissed every night, and then she came crying back to me. that taught me a lesson and i have been very reluctant to help anyone else since. some of these people are also trying to work illegally in local bars or restaurants, making 180 baht a day and taking jobs from thai people (which also pisses me off as i know a few thai people who would love to have their jobs). i suppose that is better than just expecting a free handout, but when it comes down to that, i think it should be a wake up call that it is time to find a real job back in farang land.

i remember not wanting to leave thailand as well, but i did, many times, and went home to make money, then came back. hey, that's life. if you can't afford to be here, it's time to go home, and it is not my problem!

my friend also has this problem when he stays in bangkok and his sexpat "friends" all hit him up. i wonder how many others have noticed this? if so what are your policies? i thought it was the thai people i had to worry about scamming me out of everything i am worth, but i sure have a lot of fake farang friends trying to do the same here.

get off of koh phan ngan and hang with people who are gainfully employed. As for your friend in Bangkok, a more discerning attitude when i comes to the selection of friends mught be in order. I dont have anyone mooching off me but my daughter who is 7 months old and doesn't know any better

[blizzard]

hey, at least now i knmow where mag6 get s his attitude towards farungs from.

not all farungs are moochers maigo. they not all same same.....lol.

[Aujuba]

Where do all the deadbeats hangout? I've seen some lost souls sleeping on benches in Siam Square. Down and out in Bangkok.

[mr_hippo]

I have known teachers who are paid weekly for one simple reason - they blow it in one week! "You want to borrow X000 Baht, you were paid last week and spent it on bargirls and beer? Sorry, can't help you."

A lot of Western teachers who I have worked with fall into the category of 'not very nice people'. I do not subscribe to the 'You're a farang, I am a farang, let's be friends' school of thought. I was out cycling a week ago and spoke to a lovely South African lady; previous to that, the last time that I spoke to a farang was possibly around Christmas. Call be anti-social, call me tight-fisted but I am happy!

[stiggy]

Quote from the OP

''i remember not wanting to leave thailand as well, but i did, many times, and went home to make money, then came back. hey, that's life. if you can't afford to be here, it's time to go home, and it is not my problem! ''

Totally agree,It really sucked to do but that is what independance etc is about,get off ya arse work like a bstd (I hated some of my in-between jobs ) as a qualified nurse and a dive instructor I worked in a factory stapleing boxes,however 5 mths later cash in bank and a spot on a Thai beach.

for the last 8 yrs I have secured work in Thailand ,love my job all legal and now only have to go home to see the folks

For those that will state "what if I/They cannot afford to go home" they cannot afford to be overseas either..

For the record I still help people out who get stuck or encounter a problem,the criteria is simple.

They must be a friend ( not just some pi##head i have met down the pub)

They must have a history of working or looking seriously at securing work.

I will always lend only what I can afford to lose and not expect it paid back.However a real true geniune person always will pay back.

The odd one that dosent ,well in 99% of cases they are just sponging A holes and the little i lose is worth every bht as they spend there remaining days avoiding you over 500-1000bht.

Finally I have lent my Thai staff money on many occasions they ALWAYS pay back and its a privalige to help them.

All the best.

[qwertz]

I have known teachers who are paid weekly for one simple reason - they blow it in one week! "You want to borrow X000 Baht, you were paid last week and spent it on bargirls and beer? Sorry, can't help you."

A lot of Western teachers who I have worked with fall into the category of 'not very nice people'. I do not subscribe to the 'You're a farang, I am a farang, let's be friends' school of thought. I was out cycling a week ago and spoke to a lovely South African lady; previous to that, the last time that I spoke to a farang was possibly around Christmas. Call be anti-social, call me tight-fisted but I am happy!

There are teachers and "teachers", Mr. Hippo.

The teachers I know (including myself) would definitely not fit your description.

The good thing about the company you keep is that you can choose to take it or leave it.

If we're talking spongers you don't have to go as far as Thailand.

Just be gullible and they'll find you wherever you are, sure as moths to a flame.

I suspect the people who do tolerate such types get a feeling of superiority out of it.

[mr_hippo]

qwertz, I am only referring to those that I have worked with and am not tarring everyone with the same brush. Apologies for any confusion.

[qwertz]

Point taken, Mr. Hippo, and no need for apologies.

I've met (very briefly) some of the "teachers" you describe.

They wouldn't hold a job for a week over here.

[girlx]

Sticking a sign post outside your door that reads 'The Nearest Bank is 2.5 Kms from here' might help.

You could even get one of those leaflet stands they have in banks, fill it will loan application forms from various banks and place it on a table near your front door.

i really am going to try that!!!

get off of koh phan ngan

there are lots of people who are NOT like this on koh phangan, don't be silly...

Is it your BF's friends asking for help?

heh?? my boyfriend is Thai... i would expect him and his friends to be the ones to hit me up, but surprisingly not, it's farangs. i also have a Thai friend who is well off who gets the same treatment. he is really generous and has even more problems than i do getting people off his doorstep.

[blizzard]

hey miss x

what do you girls say when a boy want to have intimate relations and you dont want to?

ok..........lol.

[girlx]

what is that supposed to mean?

[Maigo6]

what is that supposed to mean?

Only Blizzard knows what Blizzard means.

[blizzard]

i m just wondering why you just cant say no if you dont want to give or lend money.

lets practice.miss x can i bed you tonight? pm me.....lol.

[girlx]

i do say no, i was just bitching about it

[yosushi]

well so far they mostly manage to scrape enough cash from somewhere or another to get tourist visas so they can keep on bothering me

Yes well put.

Personally i see no differance between thai deadbeats and farang ones. In Thailand one is pestered all the time by people asking for handouts and one says yes or no depending on mood and other considerations. The fact that they are farang would not influence me one way or another. I don't understand why it bothers so many foreigners in Thailand if other foreigners , less well off than they , decide to populate the kingdom. You always have the option to ignore tham.

I think the Thai government is wrong to try to restrict who comes to the country. As long as those that are here have money they should be left in peace. Any way you look at it they are puttin some money , even if it is a little , into the Thai economy and that should be ALL that should concern the government. For some reason the scum of the earth are attracted to Thailand , but as long as they can pay their way i don't see its a problem from the goverments point of view.

[weary]

get off of koh phan ngan

there are lots of people who are NOT like this on koh phangan, don't be silly...

Very true, but even though there are lots of great people on Koh Phangan, it's also one of the stops on the deadbeat track, unlike for example Hua Hin. Then again, Hua Hin is pretty boring. But still.

But yeah. But no.

[MTW]

Hi girlx,

I think the situation you are in in difficult to manage when you want to do the right thing, want to be a nice, helpful person, don't know how to say no without sounding rude, don't want to offend people that you think might get pissed off if you say no, it isn't really that much money in case you lose it, etc. But in Thailand, the requests are too many to deal with, and since we do usually lose the money, it adds up to be not acceptable, as well as what you said about people you do help, but are not there to help you with something you need.

I think just making a rule that you will not be helping people financially at all, is the best thing when we have troubles in this area. If you want to be honest you could just tell people who ask, that you have invested in too many other people's problems since you have lived here, and just cannot afford to take the risk anymore. Say that if you ever got the money paid back by all the others, you could afford to help them and would be happy to, but since that hasn't happened yet, you cannot.

And if you are paying for food/drinks for the same people time and time again, just stop going out with those people, because either they cannot afford to pay for themselves and will turn into people who seek more help from you later, or they just don't care enough about you to feel that they should contribute, and they never will.

For me, I feel one of the problems is that I always feel the duty to be honest, and don't readily make up lies, to avoid paying, when I don't want to or shouldn't have to. And people who scam people out of money on a regular basis are pretty good at manipulating situations that are hard to say no to. For example, I always used to take out 20,000 baht when I went to the atm for money because I got charged $3 no matter how much I took out. So, to save money, I took out the max allowed. One friend is with me when I stop along a sidewalk and take out money. She says, as I have the money in my hand, "can I borrow 2000 baht until tommorrow?"

Well, that doesn't automatically make me think she wants to rip me off, or that she has financial troubles, because she says she will pay me the next day. Same kind of thing when you are at the mall shopping and some friend says they don't have enough cash "on them" to buy the jeans they want, but will pay you when you get back to the house. Then the day goes, on, maybe they forget about it but will remember next time you see them, and for me, it is embarrassing to ask for it.

My American cousin was on a world tour for 6 months or so, and after staying with me for about 4 weeks, owed me some money for his share of some tours I had booked for him, and paid for upfront. Well, the last day of his trip, he tells me he is running out of money, can he pay me when he gets back to the US. Okay. 2 years later, no money. My stepsister did virtually the same thing when she visited. Maybe they think it is no big deal, a couple hundred here or there, but when it has happened to you to various degrees, 25 times in one year, it adds up to a lot of money. And when I find I am living outside my intended budget here, and what is the reason, I get pissed off. Especially when I treated all of these people to many or all free dinners, drinking, they stayed for free with me, I paid for all of the hotel when we visited some other part of Thailand, etc.

I don't know how to ask family members, to pay me upfront, or give me a security deposit before they come to visit, in case they run out of money. I have also had many bad situations with Thai people. And not just Thai friends. I have paid for deposits for work to be done on my house, one was for safety glass to be installed in my doors so my dog, in case he ever bashed through the glass again, wouldn't get cut up and almost die, at the same time for a metal gate to be installed around my door, and on some windows. After waiting 6 weeks for people to come do the work, calling all the time, and listening to their excuses, I had a giant flood to my house. Six feet of water for three days. My new car was totally submerged, my motorbike, and everything on the first floor of my house. I moved out, called these workers, and asked for SOME of my money back, seeing that this work would not need to be done now.

NO refund of any kind. What was the excuse? They had spent the money on materials. Well, I expected that but I gave a bigger deposit than for just material and wanted some back. NO. Well, can I have the materials delivered to my new house because maybe I can use them in the future. NO. Why, because they don't have the materials and never are they going to have them.

Then I was in a rush to get a new house because I had dogs waiting in LA to move here, and had time limits as far as the airline would only take them during the few cooler months here. I rented a new house, telling them I was expecting to live there with up to 6 dogs. I asked if the moo baan had any dog restrictions, was told no, asked about 15 more times, gave 2 months deposit and one month for rent. Then they were not giving me the keys for some reason I still don't know. After a couple of weeks of delays, I went out and rented a different house and asked for my deposit back. Well, they would give me 2 months back, but not one month because that had been paid already to my Thai friends as commission. (My good Thai friends who I had just loaned 120,000 baht for their new guesthouse business.) And, when I checked later with the moo baan office, I found that they do not allow ANY dogs there.

Okay, the next house was supposed to be fully furnished including dishes, kitchen things, etc, since I had just lost most of my things in the flood. I could not be here to get the keys, when the house was ready, because I had to be in LA. My friend picked up the keys for me. When I got back to CM, I found my house was completely emptied of all furniture except some things like a non-working microwave. Even the landlord had taken the waterpump out, and told me I didn't have hot water, or any water basically to most of the house because of some temp. city problem. We don't use water pumps anywhere I have lived, and it took me 6 weeks to find out what the reason was that I had no hot water, and not water except from the house outside. And I was paying 30,000 a month for this wonderful house.

Well, the electric in my house now has just gone out, so I better finish before my UPS cuts out too.

I have learned to only worry about myself, and <deleted> everyone else basically. You might have to learn this too. Good luck and be strong.

[marginline]

Great, balanced writing MTW with no bashing and so eloquently told. Thanks for sharing and Good Luck to you too!

[MTW]

Hi marginline,

I feel like I have won the Miss Universe contest or something when someone responds positvely to something I have posted. I am getting so used to getting bashed for one thing or another, and it is difficult to tell a story and be short about it, so that I have mostly avoided trying to explain in depth.

Anyway, I appreciate a lot any responses that don't basically call me an idiot, and tell me that I must deserve what I get. It can be a very lonely life here in Thailand, especially as a woman, and any positive post like yours makes me feel very good. Thank you.