Men N Women

[Paulbangkok]

NICKNAMES

> If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each

> other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.

> If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to

> each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

>

> EATING OUT

> When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in

> £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything

> smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the

> girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

>

> MONEY

> A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

> A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

>

> BATHROOMS

> A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,shaving

> cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man

> would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

>

> ARGUMENTS

> A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that

> is the beginning of a new argument.

>

> CATS

> Women love cats.

> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

>

> FUTURE

> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>

> SUCCESS

> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>

> MARRIAGE

> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

>

> DRESSING UP

> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,

> answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

>

> NATURAL

> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

>

> OFFSPRING

> A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments

> and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and

> dreams.

> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

>

> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

> Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people

> remembering the same thing.