Life For Single Girls In Thailand

[canadiangirl]

Hey ladies,

I'm planning to come to live in Thailand for a few years after my graduation. I quite fell in love with the place last year. But I know that I wouldn't be the typical farang expat (I'm in twenties, female), and while men often feel like they hit the jackpot when they move to LOS, I know that life can be harder for us girls there.

Some of the things I'm thinking of:

- At home I'm considered a normal weight. Not model skinny, but suddenly in Thailand, I'm fat! I went into Boots to buy vitamins, and the salesgirl asked me if I was pregnant! I felt fat the whole time I was there, then when I got back home to my uni I was skinnier than everyone!

- How do you meet a good boyfriend?. Many farang men are there because they want to date Thai women. I'd be happy to date a Thai guy (so many cute ones!), but how do I meet a decent Thai guy? Are many Thai guys interested in dating farang girls, beyond the "exotic" factor?

- Fulfilling company, good friends. I realize lots of expats are male, and are there for different reasons than mine, how do you meet like-minded people?

- Some male expats seem to have quite a lot of hostility towards farang women. do you just ignore them?

I don't mean these as complaints, I fully know not everything is the same as back home. I'm just wondering if the more experienced female expats on TV might give me the benefit of your experience. Do you also experience the things I mention above? Do you have some coping strategies, suggestions, ideas, etc? What do you get out of living in Thailand? Thanks everyone!

[coldcrush]

Hey ladies,

I'm planning to come to live in Thailand for a few years after my graduation. I quite fell in love with the place last year. But I know that I wouldn't be the typical farang expat (I'm in twenties, female), and while men often feel like they hit the jackpot when they move to LOS, I know that life can be harder for us girls there.

Some of the things I'm thinking of:

- At home I'm considered a normal weight. Not model skinny, but suddenly in Thailand, I'm fat! I went into Boots to buy vitamins, and the salesgirl asked me if I was pregnant! I felt fat the whole time I was there, then when I got back home to my uni I was skinnier than everyone!

- How do you meet a good boyfriend?. Many farang men are there because they want to date Thai women. I'd be happy to date a Thai guy (so many cute ones!), but how do I meet a decent Thai guy? Are many Thai guys interested in dating farang girls, beyond the "exotic" factor?

- Fulfilling company, good friends. I realize lots of expats are male, and are there for different reasons than mine, how do you meet like-minded people?

- Some male expats seem to have quite a lot of hostility towards farang women. do you just ignore them?

I don't mean these as complaints, I fully know not everything is the same as back home. I'm just wondering if the more experienced female expats on TV might give me the benefit of your experience. Do you also experience the things I mention above? Do you have some coping strategies, suggestions, ideas, etc? What do you get out of living in Thailand? Thanks everyone!

Just do your own thing and dont worry about the rest. Be cool and enjoy your own life.

[Jet Gorgon]

Hi, Cgirl and welcome to TV! I saw you stopped by my page and I wanted to reply but got busy. Forgive my manners!

First, what do you plan to do here workwise? Get that sorted. It's different from visiting and if you have nothing to do, you will go insane.

I also felt fat when I first went to Asia many moons ago. Do not fret about it if you are happy with the way you are. Many Asian women look like we did in elementary school, ie, very small in stature.

I had a few long-term farang boyfriends I met in Thailand. For Thai boys, well, love just happens, doesn't it? Some TV ladies are very happily married to Thai men and can give you more info on that.

Thailand is a beautiful place to live and the people are also lovely, but it's very different from Canada. Perhaps try it for awhile before you put down roots. Relax, watch and follow what people do, and be kind but not a target for users whether foreign or local.

Then do as CC says in his post: be cool and enjoy your own life.

Let us know how you get on.

[leisurely]

Yes, agree wholeheartedly with Jet. I probably stand out more than anyone else. I am extremely tall, I have enourmous feet and a changover. As far as meeting men is concerned, most of my farang friends have met their man at work or in the pub. Depends on where you are planning to live, work (I really wouldn't come over without a job) and play.

Good luck and enjoy your time here.

Leisurely

[leisurely]

Should explain that my changover is a beer belly not a mispelling of changeover!

[Jet Gorgon]

Should explain that my changover is a beer belly not a mispelling of changeover!

I was just going to ask you that. Hungover from chang everyday or? <deleted>? Leisurely? You probably imagining it anyway. Hey. the peas and beans are coming up in the garden. Strawberries turning colour. It's gonna be a great summer. I'm gonna get a planterbox for different kinds of lettuce.

Sorry, CGirl, don't mean to meander on your thread. Not many girls on the forum and we do like to chat. And, Leisurely is always helpful and in the know with all kinds of stuff. She's also our tarragon queen.

Edited June 28, 2007 by Jet Gorgon

[DragonQuest]

youll have an "Edge" cause your female, many farang guys are here, so youll stick out and Im sure you can manage.

[PlainJane]

Goodluck girl.

Life for a single female in Thailand can be quiet fun and interesting, but you are right there are downsides to living here. Well, whatever happens..... just hold your head up high, stay confident and believe in yourself. There are more to a relationship than just the looks. Although, looks are important especially when initially meeting people. I'm sure loads of thai guys will fall for your foreign looks. Though it can be a challenge to find the good ones. (There's plenty of fish in the sea, so don't worry and don't be afraid to throw back the faulty ones!)

Life in Thailand (and anywhere else) is like an airport, people come and go, but you hold-on to and treasure those that you care about. This is another thing that you'll probably have to get used to because Thailand is a very busy airport.

Edited June 28, 2007 by PlainJane

[RueFang]

Hi CGirl! Don't give another thought to the whole fat issue. Unless you are an itty bitty thing, you will get comments from Thai women about being fat or pom pui (chubby)! People used to comment about my weight all the time when I first moved here, but now 2 years later they tell me I'm thin!! It's hilarious because my weight is pretty much the same as I've always been (~size 14)....go figure.

As for meeting a good guy, you'll just have to trust your intuition on that one. I'm sure you're already aware that having a farang gf is a huge status symbol. Occasionally people who meet my husband and I talk to him like he's a god! My husband gets SO embarrassed but has to endure 100 questions about me and our relationship. We'll have a good laugh about it though because it's just so funny how people react. I was lucky enough to meet him volunteering after the tsunami and not in a bar. You won't have any problem getting a boyfriend as most thai guys on the islands etc are interested in farang women, but as Plain Jane says, don't be afraid to throw back the faulty ones who are possibly only using you.

Good luck and keep us posted

[sbk]

And don't be too upset if you don't find one that suits at all

There are plenty of farang guys who are not here just for the girls, and some who aren't interested in Thai girls. And not all will be hostile either. I have to say I have never met a farang man who has been hostile to my face. Only in the safety of the anonymity of a forum

And, to be honest, its often easier to have new experiences and learn new things without having to worry about whether or not you have a guy to keep you company. I spent my first 6 or so months in Asia teaching in Taiwan in a town where it was me, the Mormon missionaries and 130,000 Chinese people. I did not date. But, I did learn to live with myself and learn that I was strong enough to handle Asia on my own. The husband came later, and was a happy and lucky addendum to my life but certainly not one I was expecting or even looking for.

[meme]

And don't be too upset if you don't find one that suits at all

There are plenty of farang guys who are not here just for the girls, and some who aren't interested in Thai girls. And not all will be hostile either. I have to say I have never met a farang man who has been hostile to my face. Only in the safety of the anonymity of a forum

And, to be honest, its often easier to have new experiences and learn new things without having to worry about whether or not you have a guy to keep you company. I spent my first 6 or so months in Asia teaching in Taiwan in a town where it was me, the Mormon missionaries and 130,000 Chinese people. I did not date. But, I did learn to live with myself and learn that I was strong enough to handle Asia on my own. The husband came later, and was a happy and lucky addendum to my life but certainly not one I was expecting or even looking for.

A lot of good posts already. When I first came to thailand I lived as a single Canadian girl for 6 months before I met any boys...As Sbk said I too learned how strong I was and how to be independent in another country.

As for the fat comments, really there is no way to avoid them. No reason to challenge them either, I really don't think they are being vicious. In fact the only ppl who I find to be rude with their fat comments are Thai women who are 'fat' in Thai standards. They really like to make a big deal about my body but I think that is b/c they finally see someone who is not smaller than them and they want that to be known to all within in ear shot.

As for Thai men, I have seen (or experienced ) the good the bad and the ugly. But I have definitely found a keeper as have other women on this forum. It is easy to say, "just use common sense" but sometimes that can be hard when you are not familiar with the culture or Thai 'style'. But anyway try to use common sense...like if you meet a guy who works on the beach chances are you would not be his first farang gf.

I think the fact that you have found this forum and are interested in what others have to say is a good first step. I think it is really important for women to have a community. I wish I knew about this forum when I first moved here!

Meme

[seville]

Hi CCGirl,

Depending on where you live and what kind of work you are going to do will have a lot to say about the type of people you are going to meet. There are a few things that I'd offer up to make your life a little easier.

Finding a good western girl friend is number one. A gal you can pal around with and talk about what's going on at any given moment. This is far more important to find then a bf when you first get there. Your going to go through a lot of adjustments and need to have someone to talk that is western.

Be respectful and blend. One of the best ways to earn the trust of the Thai people in your area and make Thai friends is how you conduct yourself and being mindful of how you dress.

Check your western standards at the door. When dealing with the land lord, the vendor on the street etc. try not be be upset and laugh off anything that doesn't seem right to you. If someone rips you off for a few baht, frown a bit and even say something nicely and just don't go back there. Try and be clear and have your dictionary handy when making important deals. Smile Smile Smile

Accept that you are a farang and are going to get charged more money then Thai people, this is a fact of life.

If your the type of girl that likes to have flings, do that away from home.

If you want a relationship that has meaning and might go somewhere. Go super super slow. Size him up. Watch him in action for a long time. Many Thai guys have some pretty wild ideas about western women. Talk a lot and ask a lot of questions.

Don't get swept up by him telling you that he loves you right off the bat. He might very well love you and he might be the most wonderful guy in the world and very sincere, but there are many pitfalls in this.

He is a player and says that to all his girlfriends.

He means it and you sleep with him, which to him means your ready to be his wife. You don't want to break someones heart.

He means it, but he was not raised monogamous and as my dear friend says, "I have many rooms in my heart."

Read up on Thai Culture and enjoy your life in Thailand it's my favorite place on earth so far!!!

[canadiangirl]

Hi, Cgirl and welcome to TV! I saw you stopped by my page and I wanted to reply but got busy. Forgive my manners!

First, what do you plan to do here workwise? Get that sorted. It's different from visiting and if you have nothing to do, you will go insane.

I also felt fat when I first went to Asia many moons ago. Do not fret about it if you are happy with the way you are. Many Asian women look like we did in elementary school, ie, very small in stature.

I had a few long-term farang boyfriends I met in Thailand. For Thai boys, well, love just happens, doesn't it? Some TV ladies are very happily married to Thai men and can give you more info on that.

Thailand is a beautiful place to live and the people are also lovely, but it's very different from Canada. Perhaps try it for awhile before you put down roots. Relax, watch and follow what people do, and be kind but not a target for users whether foreign or local.

Then do as CC says in his post: be cool and enjoy your own life.

Let us know how you get on.

Hi Jet Gordon,

thanks for your kind reply!

Workwise, I'm still getting that sorted out. I'm checking out my different options: doing computer programming, working for my government in Thailand (there are some projects that graduating students can apply to), teaching mathematics at a Thai school (that's what my degree is in). I've had a few interviews with different places, but so far nothing decided. Plan B is to start out teaching English, and then try to move my way up into something "better". I'm hoping I might have a bit of an edge with employers as a woman, not being a sexpat moving here for the bar scene. I would like to do some writing for magazines and newspapers while I'm in Bangkok, if that's possible, so I'm looking around about doing that as well. Right now I'm not planning for the rest of my life in Thailand, but for a year or two, and then I'll see.

What about yourself? May I ask how long have you been in Thailand? How did you decide to make it your home?

[canadiangirl]

Yes, agree wholeheartedly with Jet. I probably stand out more than anyone else. I am extremely tall, I have enourmous feet and a changover. As far as meeting men is concerned, most of my farang friends have met their man at work or in the pub. Depends on where you are planning to live, work (I really wouldn't come over without a job) and play.

Good luck and enjoy your time here.

Leisurely

Hi Leisurely,

nice to meet you.

At home, I am not particularly tall for a girl (5'5), but I felt so tall in Thailand! I remember watching fireworks in a crowd, then seeing someone shorter than me, so I told them that they can go in front of me so they can see, then I told another person, and another... then I realized that I was taller than almost everyone! Do you have problems finding shoes that fit? I am planning on bringing several pairs from home.

Workwise, I have a few plans (see above, I wrote about them to Jet), but still nothing final yet. I guess I am like many people who fall in love with Thailand and want to find a way to live there! But I am still fairly young, so I do not need to be very rich for the next year or two -- after that I can see. If can find work with an international company, I will take it for sure, but if I decide to teach, I have heard it is a lot better to visit schools in person before signing a contract.

I hope I have a chance to meet some of the women from this board once I am there!

What about yourself? What brings you to Thailand?

[leisurely]

I wish you luck trying to find a job with an International company. As far as teaching is concerned, may I suggest you take a TESOL course once you arrive. This will give you much better prospects for employment, the better providers guarantee you a job.

My lovely husband brought me to BKK, but now he is taking me away again, we leave very soon for pastures new so I won't be one of the lovely ladies you meet, sorry. Enjoy your time in Thailand, as you know it is a very laid back place but the beurocaracy is trying - another reason to get a decent job, work permit and no 90 day visa runs.

[sbk]

I hope you'll pop into the ladies forum from time to time, leisurely, we've certainly enjoyed your company

[kat]

Hi CC:

I'm very glad to hear that you finished up your degree in mathematics. I feel quite satisfied that I told you to march promptly back home and finish your degree before you did anything else. Now, you will have a lot of opportunities find you - a math degree is highly valuable.

For teaching, forget English in Thailand; anyone with a pulse can get an English job there - and you have a math degree, which should be used. Continue to look into Computer Programming, but remember, Thailand is always desperate for qualified teachers, and math and science is in demand at the elite schools.

You should try to get a teacher's certification, and look at applying to top schools, from outside of the Country to get the best package: Kaset, Stephens International (I think) - anyway, there is a list somewhere I'm sure.

Right now, you have the best advantage of trying to secure a top teaching job from OUTSIDE the Country, but do a little research and surveying about the school first.

Good on you for finishing your degree, and good luck.

Kat

[sbk]

insulting posts have been deleted.

Gentlemen, if you can't abide by the forum rules pinned at the top of the Ladies forum then please do not post here. Further such insulting posts will result in warnings or suspensions.

[BigSnake]

Come on over, no doubt there are many eligible Thai guys and Expats that would enjoy your company.

[AlexLah]

Hey ladies,

I'm planning to come to live in Thailand for a few years after my graduation. I quite fell in love with the place last year. But I know that I wouldn't be the typical farang expat (I'm in twenties, female), and while men often feel like they hit the jackpot when they move to LOS, I know that life can be harder for us girls there.

Some of the things I'm thinking of:

- At home I'm considered a normal weight. Not model skinny, but suddenly in Thailand, I'm fat! I went into Boots to buy vitamins, and the salesgirl asked me if I was pregnant! I felt fat the whole time I was there, then when I got back home to my uni I was skinnier than everyone!

- How do you meet a good boyfriend?. Many farang men are there because they want to date Thai women. I'd be happy to date a Thai guy (so many cute ones!), but how do I meet a decent Thai guy? Are many Thai guys interested in dating farang girls, beyond the "exotic" factor?

- Fulfilling company, good friends. I realize lots of expats are male, and are there for different reasons than mine, how do you meet like-minded people?

- Some male expats seem to have quite a lot of hostility towards farang women. do you just ignore them?

I don't mean these as complaints, I fully know not everything is the same as back home. I'm just wondering if the more experienced female expats on TV might give me the benefit of your experience. Do you also experience the things I mention above? Do you have some coping strategies, suggestions, ideas, etc? What do you get out of living in Thailand? Thanks everyone!

Hi Canadian girl,

Please do not think that all "farang" here are here because of easy sex ok?

I for instance would love to meet some openminded people that can talk about other things then what is your name and where I come from.

Yes just have a good time and have a good talk that is all.

Alex

[canadiangirl]

insulting posts have been deleted.

Gentlemen, if you can't abide by the forum rules pinned at the top of the Ladies forum then please do not post here. Further such insulting posts will result in warnings or suspensions.

Hi sbk -- thanks!

yeah, I was pretty surprised at how rude one of the posters was.

[canadiangirl]

Hi CC:

I'm very glad to hear that you finished up your degree in mathematics. I feel quite satisfied that I told you to march promptly back home and finish your degree before you did anything else. Now, you will have a lot of opportunities find you - a math degree is highly valuable.

For teaching, forget English in Thailand; anyone with a pulse can get an English job there - and you have a math degree, which should be used. Continue to look into Computer Programming, but remember, Thailand is always desperate for qualified teachers, and math and science is in demand at the elite schools.

You should try to get a teacher's certification, and look at applying to top schools, from outside of the Country to get the best package: Kaset, Stephens International (I think) - anyway, there is a list somewhere I'm sure.

Right now, you have the best advantage of trying to secure a top teaching job from OUTSIDE the Country, but do a little research and surveying about the school first.

Good on you for finishing your degree, and good luck.

Kat

Hey Kat,

it's good to hear from you!

Yeah, I'm glad I went back to finish my degree after all, especially with the new rules for teachers in place now. That was some good advice. I don't know about getting the teacher cert from Canada, though: I'm not planning on making my life career out of it, and here it's at least one year of full-time university to get it, one that I can't really afford. Do you know if all of the international schools (the "real" ones where you can apply from home ahead of time) require it? In my research online, they seemed to.

But yes, I'm definitely taking a good look at teaching mathematics, as I'd think I'd be a lot better at it than at teaching English. Did you yourself teach at an international school while you where here?

Apart from that, how has the U.S. been treating you?

Take good care, and good to hear from you!

[canadiangirl]

And don't be too upset if you don't find one that suits at all

There are plenty of farang guys who are not here just for the girls, and some who aren't interested in Thai girls. And not all will be hostile either. I have to say I have never met a farang man who has been hostile to my face. Only in the safety of the anonymity of a forum

And, to be honest, its often easier to have new experiences and learn new things without having to worry about whether or not you have a guy to keep you company. I spent my first 6 or so months in Asia teaching in Taiwan in a town where it was me, the Mormon missionaries and 130,000 Chinese people. I did not date. But, I did learn to live with myself and learn that I was strong enough to handle Asia on my own. The husband came later, and was a happy and lucky addendum to my life but certainly not one I was expecting or even looking for.

Hi sbk!

thanks for the good advice; I'm taking it on board! I agree with you about learning to feel strong by yourself in a new place before getting a boyfriend. I guess, it's not like I'm looking for a boyfriend two days off the plane, or that I'm coming to Thailand to get a boyfriend, but I'd like to know it's not completely out of the question to get one eventually, you know?

[canadiangirl]

Hi CCGirl,

Finding a good western girl friend is number one. A gal you can pal around with and talk about what's going on at any given moment. This is far more important to find then a bf when you first get there. Your going to go through a lot of adjustments and need to have someone to talk that is western.

Be respectful and blend. One of the best ways to earn the trust of the Thai people in your area and make Thai friends is how you conduct yourself and being mindful of how you dress.

Check your western standards at the door. When dealing with the land lord, the vendor on the street etc. try not be be upset and laugh off anything that doesn't seem right to you. If someone rips you off for a few baht, frown a bit and even say something nicely and just don't go back there. Try and be clear and have your dictionary handy when making important deals. Smile Smile Smile

(snipped for brevity)

Hi seville,

These are exactly the kind of insights I was hoping for when I posted this! I especially like what you said about finding a good female friend before finding a boyfriend, that sounds like a really good idea. Thank you very much!

May I ask how long you have been in Thailand yourself?

[Goinghomesoon]

I like that advice about getting a best girl friend first too. Having been here for months now and settled into work plus started dating someone recently. It would be so good to have a female friend of a similar mindset to bounce stuff off. Most of my friends have never travelled outside Oz so their understanding about functioning in another culture are zilch.

[seville]

I've been going back and fourth from Thailand to the states for going on 6 years now. I have a pretty full life in the states and I'm not ready to let it go completely. The work thing is another issue, as I can make so much more money in the states. I am thinking about opening a small business in Thailand, but that makes me very nervous.

I live on the same Island as SBK when in Thailand, so there are a lot of western women where I am. The other thing about where I live is that there are so many people that come every year that I have a few friends that are popping in and out of the area. It's nice and we e-mail each other a lot. It's just good to have someone to vent too, can't do a whole lot of venting with most of my Thai friends. Some stuff you can, but it's not the same.

I love the simple slow pace of where we are and nearly everything about it. I will be in Thailand full time one day absolutely.

[Doza]

There are plenty of young single farang guys and girls in professional jobs with active social lives in Bangkok. Join a sports club (no not a gym) and some Young Professionals chambers for networking and social events. Bangkook YOung Professionals, American Young Professionals, European Young Professinals are all good places to meet like minded people. Around the bar at Cheap Charlies in soi 11 on a Thurs or Fri night is always good too.

I met my girlfriend here who was a young single professional expat and I know of at least 5 other similar hookups just in my circle of friends. So there are plenty of normal guys looking for attractive expat women. Teachers do get a slightly hard time but thats because many onyl hang aorund each other or school colleagues and don't get out enough or live out of town.

[canadiangirl]

There are plenty of young single farang guys and girls in professional jobs with active social lives in Bangkok. Join a sports club (no not a gym) and some Young Professionals chambers for networking and social events. Bangkook YOung Professionals, American Young Professionals, European Young Professinals are all good places to meet like minded people. Around the bar at Cheap Charlies in soi 11 on a Thurs or Fri night is always good too.

I met my girlfriend here who was a young single professional expat and I know of at least 5 other similar hookups just in my circle of friends. So there are plenty of normal guys looking for attractive expat women. Teachers do get a slightly hard time but thats because many onyl hang aorund each other or school colleagues and don't get out enough or live out of town.

Hi Doza,

That's really good advice. Thank you! I'll definitely check out the places you mention. I was looking for similar things, but the only one I could find was the foreign correspondent's club.

I hope you don't mind if I ask --- what do young people who are not teachers do in BKK? Looking around at what people do, I mostly found mostly young people who are teaching for a few years, older expats with a lot of professional experience there on expat packages, and retired people.

thanks for all the good ideas!

[JimmyCA]

IMO it would be nice to meet some farang girls in Thailand.

I have not see many available in my travels.

[Doza]

I hope you don't mind if I ask --- what do young people who are not teachers do in BKK? Looking around at what people do, I mostly found mostly young people who are teaching for a few years, older expats with a lot of professional experience there on expat packages, and retired people.

Heaps of different things. In my circle with ages from 23 - 35 we have:

Girls: Marketing x 3, PR, Food Scientist, UN consultant, and others (all with major multi-nationals)

Guys: NGO consultant, Embassy worker, Investment Banker, Marketing, Teacher, Engineer, and others.

You will be surprised how many young professionals are here, male and female. Don't narrow yourself to teachers and avoid dodgy types and losers.

If you can teach, get in touch with the international education fairs which take place this summer around the world and try to get hired from abroad at an international school here. Good pay, perks and conditions.