Adjusting To Leaving Thailand

[kat]

I think I can relate to both SiamAmerican and AjarnJack. I lived in Bangkok for 4 years and returned to the states last October. So, it has now been 9 months, but I know that I am still in transition - not yet completely comfortable. It was an incredibly stressful transition. I am still more stressed than I'd like to be, but, when you leave this country and try to re-enter, you have to pay some kind of a re-entry fee or something for being away, or having the nerve to live in another country. It's as if all of your previous experience is suddenly lost or devalued, simply because you lived elsewhere for awhile. So, I have to start out further back than where I'd be if I stayed; I have to pay my dues, which I'm doing now. However, I'm sure that in another several months or so, I will be able to make a lot of progress. I view it as your first job out of school: it's not the first job that's important, but more of how you are positioned in the market for your next job.

To be honest, I have been too busy and too stressed out over the last few months to try and appreciate anything else, but I have definitely not had any overwhelming pangs about missing Thailand. I am ###### happy to be back. Actually, I think I stayed in Thailand too long, and am paying the price for it now in how my salary here lags behind my peers, and that I am underemployed. However, I think I can cover a lot of ground and make up for this in about 2-3 years. I am so glad I didn't wait any longer to come back. I definitely felt like I was wasting my life in Thailand.

I am so glad that I know Bangkok,and that I know the Country, but I think it's a great place to visit.

[Khun ?]

If you can take for granted what Ajarn-Jack mentions then living in thailand full time could be bearable even with

the 90+ temps most of the year.

I've been around it about 20 years of my working life and would like to get some honesty in life again. I need a break

from third world attitudes and unorthodox policies and disambiguation that is embbed in their culture.

Seems like everything is half-arsed specially workmanship and mai pen rai is the acceptable standards.

Lala land where everything is today and tomorrow don't matter. Great if your life is nothing but where is the

next party, but tiring if mediocrisy is the best it gets on most everything.

[Jockstar]

I lived in LOS for 5 years. I had a great time. But for the foreseeable future , i have no desire to live there again. Neither does my wife. Who knows in 20 years time. But for now we are content here in Oz. Though we will be moving to Gold Coast early next year. Cheaper living and want to have kids. I'd rather give my kids a western education.

[Khun ?]

One of the guys that works for me lives there full time and loves it, then of course on his pension would be hard

to live else where. The other guy that works for me never has been but married to a thai that works as accountant

in the northwest U.S. He don't want to go there and she never wants to live there again, specially since they have young children now.

[siamamerican]

I think I can relate to both SiamAmerican and AjarnJack. I lived in Bangkok for 4 years and returned to the states last October. So, it has now been 9 months, but I know that I am still in transition - not yet completely comfortable. It was an incredibly stressful transition. I am still more stressed than I'd like to be, but, when you leave this country and try to re-enter, you have to pay some kind of a re-entry fee or something for being away, or having the nerve to live in another country. It's as if all of your previous experience is suddenly lost or devalued, simply because you lived elsewhere for awhile. So, I have to start out further back than where I'd be if I stayed; I have to pay my dues, which I'm doing now. However, I'm sure that in another several months or so, I will be able to make a lot of progress. I view it as your first job out of school: it's not the first job that's important, but more of how you are positioned in the market for your next job.

To be honest, I have been too busy and too stressed out over the last few months to try and appreciate anything else, but I have definitely not had any overwhelming pangs about missing Thailand. I am ###### happy to be back. Actually, I think I stayed in Thailand too long, and am paying the price for it now in how my salary here lags behind my peers, and that I am underemployed. However, I think I can cover a lot of ground and make up for this in about 2-3 years. I am so glad I didn't wait any longer to come back. I definitely felt like I was wasting my life in Thailand.

I am so glad that I know Bangkok,and that I know the Country, but I think it's a great place to visit.

You are making the best of the situation. Keep at it - I'm sure it will end well. As we both know nothing gained is usually free. Now, you are paying for, I hope, for the wonderful times you had in LOS. The stress will probably decrease, once you are more established in your new carreer. Mine did at least. Never stopped missing LOS though.

[parallaxtech]

I have worked/lived in thirty countries, including the US for twenty years, and now live on Koh Samui. Having enough money to be just about anywhere, I chose Thailand because it matched my criteria of essentials: 1, Available Young Friendly Women 2. Lovely Ocean and Beaches 3. Low Cost of Living 4. Kind People. I challenge anyone to identify a place that is a better match for that list. What is important is to come up with your own requirements and make sure you are in the ideal location. Of course if you don't have the finances than your mobility will be liimited. I saved/invested for ten years to make sure I could escape from America. Most of my friends either have or wish they could. I put in my will that I don't even want my ashes returned to the US, so good luck in the country that gave me many things in the beginning, but only left me with misery and frustration in the end.

[Ijustwannateach]

It's a hard row to hoe here. I'm really only feeling that I have paid my dues and am finally having more of a real life here in the last year or two- took 3 years just to get my bearings. I would feel really, really depressed if I had to uproot and re-establish myself all over again. Granted, it's unlikely that I'll ever be able to play "catch up" in another country now- after all, we do get older if we just wait long enough- but I would hardly want to, and am aiming myself professionally at not needing to. It's not easy, though, and not everyone's cup of tea.

[chinthee]

Yes, my heartfelt feelings to all of you torn between or among 2 or more cultures, but still feeling that Thailand is where you belong.

Best of luck to you all!

[Fred Sanford]

look at my recent posts...I'm in Philadephia after 20 years as a permanent expat...I'm terrified of this place...

I just got off the phone with my thai wife and also talked to my step-daughter and nieces...the kids don't speak english but they understand 'I Love you'...I wanted to fall on the stupid carpeted 15th floor office floor here in Phila in supplication that I would see them again one day...

when I left the US I burned all bridges; never expected to see the place again...but, America is ubiquitous...it's not a place that you can avoid...

(shit...the keyboard is wet with tears again...)

you got some cope tutsi, and decent tall boys

[GuestHouse]

It's been five years since my wife and I left Thailand. We often discuss this issue of missing Thailand and agree that we are getting far much more out of life outside of Thailand than we did in Thailand.

An important issue here is the WE bit, not just me, but also my wife and our children. My wife enjoys life outside of Thailand tremendously, in no small part because of what for her is the adventure of living outside of Thailand. It is for me a great pleasure to watch her developing new tastes and new ways of looking at life from her experience of living in Europe.

The same can be said one hundred fold for our children.

We've just left Rome, we are now in Lincolnshire awaiting our next assignment (likely to be Saudi Arabia). I've had an offer to join a project in our Thai office that will run through to late 2010, we discussed that, and decided no, we'll stay out of Thailand and enjoy the opportunities we have.

We'll keep Thailand as an option for retirement and it will certainly be on our holiday list (but not for all our holidays).

Edited July 9, 2007 by GuestHouse

[tutsiwarrior]

Lincolnshire?...love the Fenlands...had a religeous experience when working there in 1997...

however... you have your lovely wife and children with you and when you sleep you have her lovely arms around you and maybe can hear your children breathe when they sleep...

there are those of us that have neither...think about being alone and sad in shithole East Coast America...think about listening to your children telling you on the telephone that they love you when they are halfway around the world and that the rent that's already in your heart creaks bigger...that's what the OP was talking about...I think...

not to get on you, GH...I know you and you are cool...but, I want to scream and moan; living on beef jerky, pretzels and hostess cupcakes inna beat flat in Phila...I need a big bootied, long legged black girl to help bring things together...

in this regard I need an excuse to sing my song (to the accomanyment of zydeco accordion, fiddle and washboard)

welllll theeeyyy

balled in the kitchen and balled in the bathroom

they balled in the bedroom where they knew they shouldn't go

they tore it up crazy...

down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico...

whew...a recipie for early death...glad to know that I am middle aged and diabetic and wouldn't ever attempt...

thanks GH...I needed that...best regards to the wife and kids...

(everyone please heed...this is absolutely no disrespect to GH...he was a moving vehicle and I just jumped on...coulda been anyone...)

Edited July 10, 2007 by tutsiwarrior

[kat]

I think I can relate to both SiamAmerican and AjarnJack. I lived in Bangkok for 4 years and returned to the states last October. So, it has now been 9 months, but I know that I am still in transition - not yet completely comfortable. It was an incredibly stressful transition. I am still more stressed than I'd like to be, but, when you leave this country and try to re-enter, you have to pay some kind of a re-entry fee or something for being away, or having the nerve to live in another country. It's as if all of your previous experience is suddenly lost or devalued, simply because you lived elsewhere for awhile. So, I have to start out further back than where I'd be if I stayed; I have to pay my dues, which I'm doing now. However, I'm sure that in another several months or so, I will be able to make a lot of progress. I view it as your first job out of school: it's not the first job that's important, but more of how you are positioned in the market for your next job.

To be honest, I have been too busy and too stressed out over the last few months to try and appreciate anything else, but I have definitely not had any overwhelming pangs about missing Thailand. I am ###### happy to be back. Actually, I think I stayed in Thailand too long, and am paying the price for it now in how my salary here lags behind my peers, and that I am underemployed. However, I think I can cover a lot of ground and make up for this in about 2-3 years. I am so glad I didn't wait any longer to come back. I definitely felt like I was wasting my life in Thailand.

I am so glad that I know Bangkok,and that I know the Country, but I think it's a great place to visit.

You are making the best of the situation. Keep at it - I'm sure it will end well. As we both know nothing gained is usually free. Now, you are paying for, I hope, for the wonderful times you had in LOS. The stress will probably decrease, once you are more established in your new carreer. Mine did at least. Never stopped missing LOS though.

Thanks SiamAmerican. I'm sure you're right about the stress decreasing. It already is to some extent, but I have a very stressful job as it is. But I am doing very well compared to how I could've been doing right now, and landed a very good job, although much of the substance is lacking for me right now. But I know that these are the things that take time to sort out and slowly improve, even if you have never left. My peers have never left, and so they had time to sort this out, but I am doing it belatedly now; just a matter of time. Thanks very much for your encouragement. I hope you continue to do well.

As for some of the other posters, I guess it is less difficult for me to leave Thailand because I didn't to there for looking for love or sex in the first place - I went to work on a professional project. When that ended, I should've turned and around and come back, but instead I ended up teaching for awhile.

Life in the states is far from perfect, but I am so glad to have my life almost back. I am so glad to know that I can work towards a professional progression, instead of being completely dependent on the decisions of management with no professional standards, such as in Thailand. It is not the place for a career unless you work for yourself or an outside entity. I also love the diversity here, and that I am back in the land of modern men and modern Western values. Women have progressed over here, and I now understand the value and magnitude of that progress.

I also love that I can walk down the street here either as a size 4 or size 8, and I feel divine. It's summer here, and I thought I needed to hit the gym again (which I do), but the wonderful thing is that men here appreciate my full woman's body as much as they appreciate it 2 sizes smaller - actually, I think more so. I feel more womanly here. I love that the standard of beauty here is diverse, and definitely "stacked" more in favor of a voluptous woman's body rather than that of a pre-pubescent girl's. And I guess I like the men who like women's bodies - and well - grown up women a whole lot better.

And tutsiwarrior, I'm sorry about your situation, and I really hope that you can be reunited with your family soon, but PLEASE leave black women out of it. They have nothing to do with it, and really don't deserve your belittling comments.

[siamamerican]

It's been five years since my wife and I left Thailand. We often discuss this issue of missing Thailand and agree that we are getting far much more out of life outside of Thailand than we did in Thailand.

An important issue here is the WE bit, not just me, but also my wife and our children. My wife enjoys life outside of Thailand tremendously, in no small part because of what for her is the adventure of living outside of Thailand. It is for me a great pleasure to watch her developing new tastes and new ways of looking at life from her experience of living in Europe.

The same can be said one hundred fold for our children.

We've just left Rome, we are now in Lincolnshire awaiting our next assignment (likely to be Saudi Arabia). I've had an offer to join a project in our Thai office that will run through to late 2010, we discussed that, and decided no, we'll stay out of Thailand and enjoy the opportunities we have.

We'll keep Thailand as an option for retirement and it will certainly be on our holiday list (but not for all our holidays).

It also has been 5 years since I moved from Thailand. My wife has completely enjoyed America. For her it has been an adventure. She has developed awful allergies and a few other issues caused by the dry air, but has never regretted the move.

We are moving back because she would like to spend more time with me and she knows I love Thailand. Not having kids makes the decision much easier. I would probably stay here another 20 years if I had children.

It seems from the replies to my original post, the people that lived in LOS on a tight to comfortable budget, are having the toughest time adjusting. I fell into this category. With 50k baht each month, LOS can be extremely satisfying. The problem is that eventually you come to the conclusion that you aren't always going to be young. With this realization, most return to their home country with a large gap of employment and few assets. Minus affluent connections, the job opportunities and compensation are depressing.

For me, even if I had loads of disposable income the adjustment would have been hard. Not having any extra cash made it especially unbearable. My self worth also took a beating. Friends left behind to grind it out while I was playing in Thailand were now living in nice houses and making 6 figure salaries.

My original post was just to see if others had the same feelings and I was curious how they adapted after the the initial shock. A mixed bag of replies, but having something to go back to has made it easier for most. For those of us that don't have children and had little money upon our repatriation, the move was a little more daunting.

[Insight]

After reading Kat's post, my heart goes out to the OP.

[Prakanong]

I enjoyed my time working in Thailand. After leaving it took me 9 months to go back - the longest period for over a decade.

Visiting on business trips a few times a year is no hardship either!

I still love to go on holiday there but its not the only place to go to now like it once was for me. I do like Asia in general and while it probably my fave holiday place in Asia I still go other places.

In the future who knows?

I could have had this position re-located to Thailand but anted to experience something else and take other opportunities in this location not available in Thailand.

[kat]

It's been five years since my wife and I left Thailand. We often discuss this issue of missing Thailand and agree that we are getting far much more out of life outside of Thailand than we did in Thailand.

An important issue here is the WE bit, not just me, but also my wife and our children. My wife enjoys life outside of Thailand tremendously, in no small part because of what for her is the adventure of living outside of Thailand. It is for me a great pleasure to watch her developing new tastes and new ways of looking at life from her experience of living in Europe.

The same can be said one hundred fold for our children.

We've just left Rome, we are now in Lincolnshire awaiting our next assignment (likely to be Saudi Arabia). I've had an offer to join a project in our Thai office that will run through to late 2010, we discussed that, and decided no, we'll stay out of Thailand and enjoy the opportunities we have.

We'll keep Thailand as an option for retirement and it will certainly be on our holiday list (but not for all our holidays).

It also has been 5 years since I moved from Thailand. My wife has completely enjoyed America. For her it has been an adventure. She has developed awful allergies and a few other issues caused by the dry air, but has never regretted the move.

We are moving back because she would like to spend more time with me and she knows I love Thailand. Not having kids makes the decision much easier. I would probably stay here another 20 years if I had children.

It seems from the replies to my original post, the people that lived in LOS on a tight to comfortable budget, are having the toughest time adjusting. I fell into this category. With 50k baht each month, LOS can be extremely satisfying. The problem is that eventually you come to the conclusion that you aren't always going to be young. With this realization, most return to their home country with a large gap of employment and few assets. Minus affluent connections, the job opportunities and compensation are depressing.

For me, even if I had loads of disposable income the adjustment would have been hard. Not having any extra cash made it especially unbearable. My self worth also took a beating. Friends left behind to grind it out while I was playing in Thailand were now living in nice houses and making 6 figure salaries.

My original post was just to see if others had the same feelings and I was curious how they adapted after the the initial shock. A mixed bag of replies, but having something to go back to has made it easier for most. For those of us that don't have children and had little money upon our repatriation, the move was a little more daunting.

Interesting that your wife developed allergies - I am now battling the same. My skin also had to readjust to indoor heating.

I also lived on a comfortable budget in LOS, but I am making a good salary here with plenty of disposable income, which I mostly save because I am still in famine mode. I know exactly what you mean about the gap in employment and and few assets, and the friends with six figure incomes. But they stayed, and never had the satisfaction of straying. When your self worth starts to take a beating, just think of all the experiences that money can't buy, and that cannot be sold or traded in at the end of your life; you'll feel better, when you realize that to make all of that money, most of them have spent the last 5-10 years doing pretty much the same things, day-in and day-out. I'm glad I've had a chance to stray, more than once. But it is time for me to buckle in and cover some ground. It's hard, but as you have demonstrated, you can get through the rocky landing. You just have to get through it, but you will. It's a bit like starting over again, but doesn't take as long.

[kat]

After reading Kat's post, my heart goes out to the OP.

Isn't that ironic - because after reading the things that I've read in my 3+ years on this site, I feel really sorry for the women of Thailand.

[siamamerican]

After reading Kat's post, my heart goes out to the OP.

Isn't that ironic - because after reading the things that I've read in my 3+ years on this site, I feel really sorry for the women of Thailand.

While I was in Thailand I never got to know women ex pats. It was a rarity when we crossed paths. I was always curious how they viewed us men. I have never been a saint regardless of the country I've lived in. I probably enjoy women in much the same way you enjoy men. Not trying to insult you, just an assumption.

In Thailand, ex pats can cross the morality line very easily and never look back. This has to be a little disturbing, especially for women ex pats. While in Thailand I made a concerted effort to treat women the same as I would in America. I failed a few times and I still regret those mistakes. In all fairness, I've also been burned by American and Thai women. What goes around comes around.

Women are one of the powerful attractions of Thailand, but that is just natural. A little shallow, but many single men are preoccupied with female companionship. As for feeling sorry for Thai women, in many situations I agree with you. When you witness an ex pat berate a Thai women because she doesn't desire his company, I'm disgusted.

Not all Thai women have suffered because of ex pats. My wife for 5 years has had the time of her life since we met. When it comes down to it, a real man does the his best to treat women of any nationality with respect. The ones that don't are just a miserable lot.

[Prakanong]

I came across very few women expats in Thaiand too - I mean the woman having the job.

Situation is a lot different in Singapore of course and they are quite numerous - the majority in my office but not western women expats but expats all the same.

The Ang Mo expats (women working and trailing spouses) do tend to post on some sites complaining about the men with Asian girls here as well.

A few expat women (the unattached ones) I have heard complaining about no dates etc but I think thats just when they first get here and do not know where to go etc

I stil say the SPG (Sarong Party Girl) is a myth and somebody is joking with me ;-)

[kat]

Thanks for your post SA. I've met some really fine men in Thailand, who would be great anywhere. In Southeast Asia, they were like a tall, cool glass of water.

[siamamerican]

No problem Kat. The wife and I would love to have a tall class of cold water with you. Maybe someday. Goodnight and currious do you work mornings? It is getting late. Stopped drinking recently and I find myself staying up later and later.

[tutsiwarrior]

I think I can relate to both SiamAmerican and AjarnJack. I lived in Bangkok for 4 years and returned to the states last October. So, it has now been 9 months, but I know that I am still in transition - not yet completely comfortable. It was an incredibly stressful transition. I am still more stressed than I'd like to be, but, when you leave this country and try to re-enter, you have to pay some kind of a re-entry fee or something for being away, or having the nerve to live in another country. It's as if all of your previous experience is suddenly lost or devalued, simply because you lived elsewhere for awhile. So, I have to start out further back than where I'd be if I stayed; I have to pay my dues, which I'm doing now. However, I'm sure that in another several months or so, I will be able to make a lot of progress. I view it as your first job out of school: it's not the first job that's important, but more of how you are positioned in the market for your next job.

To be honest, I have been too busy and too stressed out over the last few months to try and appreciate anything else, but I have definitely not had any overwhelming pangs about missing Thailand. I am ###### happy to be back. Actually, I think I stayed in Thailand too long, and am paying the price for it now in how my salary here lags behind my peers, and that I am underemployed. However, I think I can cover a lot of ground and make up for this in about 2-3 years. I am so glad I didn't wait any longer to come back. I definitely felt like I was wasting my life in Thailand.

I am so glad that I know Bangkok,and that I know the Country, but I think it's a great place to visit.

You are making the best of the situation. Keep at it - I'm sure it will end well. As we both know nothing gained is usually free. Now, you are paying for, I hope, for the wonderful times you had in LOS. The stress will probably decrease, once you are more established in your new carreer. Mine did at least. Never stopped missing LOS though.

Thanks SiamAmerican. I'm sure you're right about the stress decreasing. It already is to some extent, but I have a very stressful job as it is. But I am doing very well compared to how I could've been doing right now, and landed a very good job, although much of the substance is lacking for me right now. But I know that these are the things that take time to sort out and slowly improve, even if you have never left. My peers have never left, and so they had time to sort this out, but I am doing it belatedly now; just a matter of time. Thanks very much for your encouragement. I hope you continue to do well.

As for some of the other posters, I guess it is less difficult for me to leave Thailand because I didn't to there for looking for love or sex in the first place - I went to work on a professional project. When that ended, I should've turned and around and come back, but instead I ended up teaching for awhile.

Life in the states is far from perfect, but I am so glad to have my life almost back. I am so glad to know that I can work towards a professional progression, instead of being completely dependent on the decisions of management with no professional standards, such as in Thailand. It is not the place for a career unless you work for yourself or an outside entity. I also love the diversity here, and that I am back in the land of modern men and modern Western values. Women have progressed over here, and I now understand the value and magnitude of that progress.

I also love that I can walk down the street here either as a size 4 or size 8, and I feel divine. It's summer here, and I thought I needed to hit the gym again (which I do), but the wonderful thing is that men here appreciate my full woman's body as much as they appreciate it 2 sizes smaller - actually, I think more so. I feel more womanly here. I love that the standard of beauty here is diverse, and definitely "stacked" more in favor of a voluptous woman's body rather than that of a pre-pubescent girl's. And I guess I like the men who like women's bodies - and well - grown up women a whole lot better.

And tutsiwarrior, I'm sorry about your situation, and I really hope that you can be reunited with your family soon, but PLEASE leave black women out of it. They have nothing to do with it, and really don't deserve your belittling comments.

oh...kat, you know me...don't get all PC 'cause it makes you look stupid..the black girl refernce is because there are a lot of black girls with big booties here in Phila...thai girls with big hips...?...VN girls with long legs to die for?...they just happen to be around...the fact is that they anonymously serve a purpose when someone is alone and sad. I just want to go home to Songphinong and get under the covers with my wife...kiss the kids and etc...

sheeesh...

Edited July 11, 2007 by tutsiwarrior

[bingobongo]

How did you adjust to leaving Thailand. For me, it was the most difficult thing I've ever went through. Thailand was surreal and exciting and I found America bland after spending 4 years in Thailand.

I just turned 40 last month and have been back in the states for 5+ years and still haven't really adjusted. On the outside, I think my co-workers and friends think all is well. On the inside, I long to return to Thailand.

I have great Thai wife that lives with me in America and, after some tough times initially, landed a great job that pays more than I ever dreamed. What kept me going is knowing that someday I would return to Thailand permanently. My friends live in million dollar homes and drive $50,000 cars. I live in a small condo and drive a $5,000 car. 80% of my compensation goes into savings and financially ready to move back to Thailand in the near future.

I think many farangs have the same yearning to return the LOS and am curious how you made the transition.

sounds like a classic case of midlife crisis, good luck to you, you will need it

stop comparing yourself to others or you will always be discontented because there will always be someone else with more money, cars, houses, etc.

the grass is greener where you water it

Edited July 11, 2007 by bingobongo

[tutsiwarrior]

and...I wanted to add...kat is someone that I respect and admire on this forum...she is strong and a fighter for a better world...I just can't handle the PC thing...

[philliphn]

If you are young and need to build a carreer and make your money for most people Thailand is probably not the place to do that.

If you have children and truely want them to get the best education and carreer oppourtunities Thailand is certainly not the place to do that.

If you are a mature male, who has made his money, and perhaps now has a pension. Is single or divorced doesn't have children or grand children in Farang land. Then Thailand can be a great retirement option! Face it unless you are very good looking, most of us sadly are not, or have alot of money, most (ALL?) desirable Farang women will not be interested in you. In fact if you even dare to look at them, if they happen to cross you line of sight , in the aisle in the grocery store, they are often very hostile and insulting to you. You must turn you head away in shame. I will be 55 years old when I retire in 3 years. I still would like some positive female energy in my life. In the USA that will be very unlikely. I would be alone. Though I am not poor I am not rich either. To make this point clear, I own a $250.000 home free and clear. For the very rich this may not be much. I am by no means a bum. If I was rich in the USA then the equation would likely be different. In Thailand I am rich. As a result some women will still be interested in spending some time with me. I am not averse to spending in order to have some time with them. If I dated in the USA I would have to pay for a Farang womans time also. Don't decieve yourself on this point. In Thailand I will have adequate company when I want it. I will be able to live a very comfortable life.

Yes I know that I will never be Thai. I can assure you that most people who I have known in the USA think that they are better than people from any where else. They tend to think that most immigrants are never as good as the native born. In fact it is fashionable to be very hostile to new immigrants. This despite the fact that the USA is a country of immigrants and that most people's families have not been in the USA that long. This has also always been that way historically in the USA. Same same in Thailand. Yes some people will try and take advantage of you. In my experience this also happens in the USA. In the USA they might be more subtle about it. You can't negotiate for most things. The price is set high. Thailand is still a developing nation. It has growth pangs to go through. You cannot expect that its development will be like my beloved USA. Where we are better than any one (tongue in cheek).

[siamamerican]

How did you adjust to leaving Thailand. For me, it was the most difficult thing I've ever went through. Thailand was surreal and exciting and I found America bland after spending 4 years in Thailand.

I just turned 40 last month and have been back in the states for 5+ years and still haven't really adjusted. On the outside, I think my co-workers and friends think all is well. On the inside, I long to return to Thailand.

I have great Thai wife that lives with me in America and, after some tough times initially, landed a great job that pays more than I ever dreamed. What kept me going is knowing that someday I would return to Thailand permanently. My friends live in million dollar homes and drive $50,000 cars. I live in a small condo and drive a $5,000 car. 80% of my compensation goes into savings and financially ready to move back to Thailand in the near future.

I think many farangs have the same yearning to return the LOS and am curious how you made the transition.

sounds like a classic case of midlife crisis, good luck to you, you will need it

stop comparing yourself to others or you will always be discontented because there will always be someone else with more money, cars, houses, etc.

the grass is greener where you water it

Classic case of a mid life crisis. Didn't know it was classic to go through this crisis at 34. That was my age when I moved back to America.

Why do I need luck? It seems I've already had my fare share the last three years. Going from roughly $0 net worth to $400,000 wasn't completely without luck.

As for comparing myself to others, I think your input is inaccurate. I was comparing my lifestyle to friends. I never stated that my life was any less satisfying. They spend and I save was the point I was making.

Nothing wrong with comparing yourself to others if in the end you are happy with what you have accomplished. If you aren't happy, it might be wise to emulate some of what makes others happy.

I read your recent posts. Is the sky falling in Thailand? If you life there, it might be time to leave.

Sorry do be condescending, but I really don't need simplistic advice ( "the grass is always where you water it" ).

[INTJ]

SiamAmerican,

Get yourself back here ASAP mate, its where you're heart is. You've got to find a way to make it work, thats all.

All this talk of financial security, planning for the future............yawn. You only go round the track once.

Life in farangland is like being in a morgue.

When the curtain goes down at least you can sing "I did it my way".

Best Regards.

Edited July 11, 2007 by INTJ

[GuestHouse]

Go somewhere else and expand your horizons.

[JimmyTheMook]

When it comes down to it, a real man does the his best to treat women of any nationality with respect. The ones that don't are just a miserable lot.

Well put.

I see many expat women now in Pattaya and they seem quite content.

[kat]

If you are young and need to build a carreer and make your money for most people Thailand is probably not the place to do that.

If you have children and truely want them to get the best education and carreer oppourtunities Thailand is certainly not the place to do that.

If you are a mature male, who has made his money, and perhaps now has a pension. Is single or divorced doesn't have children or grand children in Farang land. Then Thailand can be a great retirement option! Face it unless you are very good looking, most of us sadly are not, or have alot of money, most (ALL?) desirable Farang women will not be interested in you. In fact if you even dare to look at them, if they happen to cross you line of sight , in the aisle in the grocery store, they are often very hostile and insulting to you. You must turn you head away in shame. I will be 55 years old when I retire in 3 years. I still would like some positive female energy in my life. In the USA that will be very unlikely. I would be alone. Though I am not poor I am not rich either. To make this point clear, I own a $250.000 home free and clear. For the very rich this may not be much. I am by no means a bum. If I was rich in the USA then the equation would likely be different. In Thailand I am rich. As a result some women will still be interested in spending some time with me. I am not averse to spending in order to have some time with them. If I dated in the USA I would have to pay for a Farang womans time also. Don't decieve yourself on this point. In Thailand I will have adequate company when I want it. I will be able to live a very comfortable life.

Yes I know that I will never be Thai. I can assure you that most people who I have known in the USA think that they are better than people from any where else. They tend to think that most immigrants are never as good as the native born. In fact it is fashionable to be very hostile to new immigrants. This despite the fact that the USA is a country of immigrants and that most people's families have not been in the USA that long. This has also always been that way historically in the USA. Same same in Thailand. Yes some people will try and take advantage of you. In my experience this also happens in the USA. In the USA they might be more subtle about it. You can't negotiate for most things. The price is set high. Thailand is still a developing nation. It has growth pangs to go through. You cannot expect that its development will be like my beloved USA. Where we are better than any one (tongue in cheek).

I'm really sorry to hear your comments in the first paragraph, and I appreciate your honesty. But, I see a lot of attractive older men in their fifties. I also see enough of these men who date. However, I do think it is much less common in the U.S. for them to date women who are 30 years younger. Most of the men who emigrate to LOS are not as candid as you. Many of them seem to think that they are entitled to the bodies of women more than half their age, and make degrading comments about women who are closer to their age.

I also question your comments in the second paragraph. I agree that their are people like this in the U.S. and everywhere, but I wouldn't call it a fashion. It's definitely NOT popular in my circles to be anti-immigrant and anti-working class or poor. Perhaps the company you keep would explain the kind of women you meet, or perhaps, looks and age are the most important qualities for you. If so, you hazard the absence of other qualities.