Selfish Thais ?

[Jimjim]

Another ignorant OP seeing bad qualities in one Thai woman and stupidly generalizing this must be true of all Thai women. So, if my American girlfriend is selfish, then all Americans must be selfish? Silly and juvenile. I don't know why we lose our brains when we go overseas and suddenly think we're in a different world. People are much less different than we think.

[cooL_guY_corY]

op: maybe get a new gf or dont go to foreign countries in search a gf that will make you feel better about your self and kiss your ass, and then make bullshit threads like this on internet forums. Selfish Thais ? i can think of unlimited scenarios of people being selfish. The long amounts of time spent in thailand will result in a lot of instances of Thai people being selfish, as long with selfish euros, selfish japanese, selfish armenians and so on. basicially this thread really exemplifies

***flame removed***

Edited July 18, 2007 by sbk

[ozzydom]

Where did you find this little gem, duratanium (as if I didnt know the answer already . . . . ) ?

Yep, those social climbing lasses from the upper end of town can be selfish.

[jaiyenyen]

About the only gripe I have with mine are the presents she asks for are on the pricey side where as the things that she buys me are relatively cheap .

I guess I can live with that .

i hear you. mine is constantly hinting about diamonds and all she got me for my birthday was a pair of socks, which she paid for with my own money.

Hmmmmmm, this sounds familiar. After buying my G/F numerous reasonably lavish gifts, i was left to celebrate my 50th bithday with her gift to me........a box of melted chocolates ,which i, of course, had to share.

BTW I still love her to bit's

Regards

Jaiyenyen

[qualtrough]

My ex used to wonder why she never got the trio from Belgium when I lived there - chocolate, beer and diamonds. Meatloaf had it right, "Two out of three aint bad"

Chocolate, beer and a pearl necklace.

Nothing wrong with the best in refreshing jewelery.

You know I think I did buy her a pearl necklace last August in Samui from one of the tatty stalls at Big Buddha Wat

I could never convince here that diamonds did not come from Belgium though.

Asian women only wear them on special occasions according to that marketing case study I once had about De Beers by INSEAD so whats the point!

My Thai colleague is the same with her's she says - wedding band every day but diamond only on special occasions!

Steve, I think you should PM Prakanong and let him in on the joke.

[jackr]

Most of them would'nt , if they did not stay in Thailand . Here they seem to believe they are something , wanted .

Back home they are the most ugly whatever call it with no taste or flavour .

While perhaps true for some unfortunate guys here, I guess a high percentage just prefer the Asian gal... and a bit less of the

[canadiangirl]

Not sure if it is just me or not but I am beginning to wonder if Thai women are selfish.

I can see that Thais will often look after number 1 first.

Do you really think that the personality traits of one person extrapolate to an entire culture?

Her behavior being selfish or not depends on whether this is a habitual thing, or just something that happens every once in a while. Maybe she thought she was being considerate by not giving you coffee while you were driving so you wouldn't risk spilling it and burning yourself?

[kat]

I think there just may be a lot of disinterested Thai women/girls out there.

Edited July 18, 2007 by kat

[goldenmile]

this forum does have a womans section right?

well why dont you all stick to it?

[a2396]

i have no such problems, but then again she does get a good monthly salary from me so i expect the service to be first class.

Glad you speak the truth. There is one "expert" on this forum who states that "if you give her money, she is not a girlfriend". I'd like to know where he finds all these "freebe" women? It is pretty standard here that, if a Farang wants a relationship with a Thai lady, he will be laying down some cash, one way or another. Hopefully, he will be getting something in return. The OP's lady is a loser & a worst case. I wonder how much money he gives her?

[eek]

this forum does have a womans section right?

well why dont you all stick to it?

bwahaha. ladies, get back into your corsets and start knitting, the MAN has spoken.

<deleted> lol..

Im dying here!

UnbeLIeVablE.

[kat]

I don't know if you heard, but we are now allowed to speak before seeking permission.

[goldenmile]

i have no such problems, but then again she does get a good monthly salary from me so i expect the service to be first class.

Glad you speak the truth. There is one "expert" on this forum who states that "if you give her money, she is not a girlfriend". I'd like to know where he finds all these "freebe" women? It is pretty standard here that, if a Farang wants a relationship with a Thai lady, he will be laying down some cash, one way or another. Hopefully, he will be getting something in return.

well you know i could send my little lady out to work and reduce the amount i pay her every month, but I believe the standard of service would go down if I was not her only means of income.

[goldenmile]

I don't know if you heard, but we are now allowed to speak before seeking permission.

ah yes, you are quite right - i was thinking i was at home.

[canadiangirl]

I don't know if you heard, but we are now allowed to speak before seeking permission.

Next thing you know, we'll be allowed to vote!

[kat]

I don't know if you heard, but we are now allowed to speak before seeking permission.

ah yes, you are quite right - i was thinking i was at home.

Obviously.

[canadiangirl]

I think there just may be a lot of disinterested Thai women/girls out there.

Can you blame them?

Edited July 18, 2007 by canadiangirl

[Wolfie]

this forum does have a womans section right?

well why dont you all stick to it?

Theres also a section for banned members, would you like to see it?

Carry on like that and you will get your invite soon enough.

[kat]

Thanks Wolfie. I think someone called the cops on us CG, but he turned out to be our Wolfie

*Any way, back to the scheduled program of selfish Thai women.

Edited July 18, 2007 by kat

[tijnebijn]

I think there just may be a lot of disinterested Thai women/girls out there.

Can you blame them?

No you can't ! Would you be attracted to most farang walking on the streets in LOS ?

I mean for attractiveness most fall out rapidly , but money does have a voice here , I can't see any other reason .

And folks no personal thing to anyone , its just my observation . Although I must say that the thai ladys walking with them

are not lets say very attractive as well , so I can change my thought a bit an can say they match !

[Thumchok]

Well i know i am not Brad Pitt ( I hear he is attractive )

And I do spend a bit on my Partner .

But do you honestly believe that money can change ones character ??

It may help them to stick by you , but the girl has to have the correct upbringing , and genuinely be into you to reciprocate genuine affection .

I have seen women from all nationalities show examples of selfishness towards their partners .

I have had to pull mine up every now and then . I am probably worse than her in that she doesn't like motorbikes , but allows me to own one .

I think the OP is looking to compare his relationship with that of others .

Take the girl that started the other thread about her partner not listening .

The last time I read it most replies were to move on . Could that not be a sign of being selfish ? Who knows other than her what is on his mind , what work pressures or peer/family pressures he has to consider ? Is he in financial trouble ? Yes move on and kick him on the way , sound advice from people without some compassion .

[Torv]

You just happened to find a selfish woman who are Thai OP.

There are many like that around the world.

There are also selfish guys...have you heard?

Remember why you're attracted to Thai girls in the first place.

I honestly don't know what to say.

[canadiangirl]

Thanks Wolfie. I think someone called the cops on us CG, but he turned out to be our Wolfie

*Any way, back to the scheduled program of selfish Thai women.

Thanks Wolfie!

"Thai women are so selfish! None of them will date me for free!"

[duratanium]

i have no such problems, but then again she does get a good monthly salary from me so i expect the service to be first class.

Glad you speak the truth. There is one "expert" on this forum who states that "if you give her money, she is not a girlfriend". I'd like to know where he finds all these "freebe" women? It is pretty standard here that, if a Farang wants a relationship with a Thai lady, he will be laying down some cash, one way or another. Hopefully, he will be getting something in return. The OP's lady is a loser & a worst case. I wonder how much money he gives her?

I pay the bills for the land and for the car. Pay the electric, water etc. But that is no big deal as it is her house and she had the car before I met her. The actual amount in Baht is irrelevent as I believe in paying my way.

This is more about attitude than anything else and different people from different cultures tend to have different traits and it occured to me that selfishness might have been one of them here - and I do not base that on one experience.

I have said, in another post, how helpful the family are and that is reciprocated, so I am not trying to portray all Thais as being selfish per say.

Some of the more reasonable comments about attitudes have set me thinking and have been a lot more constructive than the others and have given me food for consideration.

Leave her because she has a selfish streak? That would seem a bit extreme. Leaving because of a breakdown in relations .... more reasonable.

As for comments about the remote control for thev t.v. and those soap operas, I have to laugh along with that and would love to build an extension to the house so she could watch them 24/7 or so I could retreat to not hear those inane screams that tend to fill the air.

Some people automatically think that 'the lady in question' in these scenarios has to be from a certain place. Wrong.

As for women getting the vote?? I can think of umpteen reaons why they should have left the Suffragettes tied to the railings.

[markwhite]

I can see that Thais will often look after number 1 first.

Who are you primarily concerned about in this post? Someone else, or 'number 1'?

she got the coffee flask and cups out and gave her sister and herself a drink and totally ignored the driver - me.

This just reads like you're sulking.

Within minutes I was told - so LOUD!! We cannot talk here (in the back seat). The end result was I turning off the cd player to get some peace. No thought that I was getting tired in the driving conditions and listening to the contant banter between the girls in the back seat and that the music was helping - something I had tried to get across.

So you wanted something and didn't get it. She wanted something else and got it. And she's selfish as a result, but you're not?

If the g/f goes for fried rice or whatever in the car to bring back to the house, she will always make sure she sits and eats hers there and has a good chin wag before - abt 30 minutes or so later - bringing mine back and leaving me to eat alone. (the reason for eating at the house is lack of fans etc where they cook the food, making it uncomfortable when hot).

So she does what she wants (eats with her friends and talks) and you do what you want (eat in the cooler house). This is a problem how?

It sounds like you have expectations of how she should behave, and when she doesn't, you're not happy. Do you want her to be herself, or do you want her to be something that you need to pander to your ego?

Just a few instances listed. But is you g/f / b/f the same or is it mine?

When we first got together, my wife admitted she was selfish. There were times when she'd do things that I would rather she didn't, but I could either insist she did what I wanted her to do and be some sort of godawful control-freak (like my mum!), or I could realise that it's none of my business what she does with her life. She was working 6 days a week almost straight out of university and earning decent money. I'd just spent the previous 18 months wallowing in selfishness, smoking and drinking myself stupid, laying in hammocks on beaches and generally being a bum. And I had a reason to stop her from doing what she wanted when I'd been doing exactly what I wanted to do? No...

Now, the things she does that are selfish are either lessened, or they don't bother me like they used to. I don't notice them to any great degree, and I think it's a bit of each: I gave her the space to be selfish and let her get it out of her system and she has, and some of the parts of 'how she is' are how she is, and I either accept that or spend my life wanting her to be something she's not.

I'm quite content with my relationship with my wife. It's sad that you're not, but the very things you accuse her are things you could be accused of too.

Edited July 18, 2007 by markwhite

[markwhite]

i have no such problems, but then again she does get a good monthly salary from me so i expect the service to be first class.

You treat your girlfriend like an employee then?

[markwhite]

In the Farang world we have a good idea of what to expect from a relationship

If you're expecting something, you stand a good chance of being disappointed.

[markwhite]

It is human nature to be selfish. It is also human nature to be judgmental

Is that an attempt at justifying being selfish and judgmental?

I know I was taught to be selfish and judgmental. At the start of my 40th year on this planet, I've done fairly well in forgetting to be judgmental, but am still terribly selfish sometimes.

[markwhite]

Leave her because she has a selfish streak? That would seem a bit extreme. Leaving because of a breakdown in relations .... more reasonable.

A balanced and reasonable comment. It's just when you think it's gone far enough - is it a short phase or is it something more long term and you don't feel able to give while you feel all she's doing is taking.

Have you discussed this with her? Have you shown her this thread? She might laugh at you, or might understand where you're coming from. Either way it might help you to make up your mind about where the relationship is going.

[Spee]

It is human nature to be selfish. It is also human nature to be judgmental

Is that an attempt at justifying being selfish and judgmental?

I don't think one needs to justify being selfish. Much of individual and family progress (and general progress in the world) is due to being selfish. There is nothing wrong with saying "I want" and then trying to get it. After all, when a baby is born, all that the baby knows is what it wants. The baby has little concept of anything else around it. The baby cries until it gets what it wants because that is all that it knows. We have much of we have in the world today because we or someone else has been selfish and wants something.

While I said being judgmental was also human nature, I wasn't trying to also say that being judgmental was a good thing or bad thing across the board. We exist as humans therefore we are judgmental, to one degree or another. It is just a fact of human nature, just as being selfish is a fact of human nature. (I agree with you about trying to resist urges to be judgmental of others.)

The point with respect to this thread is that in order to understand Thai, one has to understand the Thai nature of being selfish and judgmental. Of course this is deeply rooted in family upbrining and societal mores. I'm just a big 'ol dumb honkey with a midwestern middle class US upbringing. It isn't right for me to go to Thailand and exert my behaviour and traits upon everyone I meet. I have to modulate my behaviour appropriately. Thailand ain't the midwest and vice versa. In other words, it's not realistic for people to bring western opinions and mentalities to Thailand and expect them to apply in any or all situations.