Timothy Again - More Specific Question Now And Thanks

[Timothy]

Dear all

I just wanted to first of all express my appreciatation on your comments, advice and suggestions. I am graetful. I have also received a number of emails from many of the people and got to speak to one of them. Just to be more specific this time, I feel more free now and really want to try new things and experience a different way of life. Moving closer on the personal side, I have always been fond of my colleagues, bosses and clients (not all of course but a few) and one thing that they share in common is that they are just boys next door type who i go to pubs to have beers with and to play footie or tennins with. We talk about things like politics, arts, sports, G8 summit, philosophy, kosovo, films, litterature, global warming and cuisines. The only problem is that they are straight or we both acted that we were totally straight and so nothing went further. Is it possible to find a guy like that or am I asking too much given BKK is not a big hub for professional westerners (as opposed to HK or Singapore)?

A few of you have suggested that I should be trying some websites and I will give it a try again. I was quite terrified by its meat market nature once so never went back. I do feel now that it does not help much I admit to myself that I am gay because the kind of men who I would love to be with would never know me and due to my straight acting and I will never know them due to the same reason anyway. I hanged out with a few blokes in the UK and many of them were great and I am sure not all of them were straight. At the end of the day we never develop our relationship because both were acting so professionally.

Thanks

[Scott]

Timothy, that's a good post and I mentioned in your other thread that what you need is a support system. You can try websites or visit a few "gayish" or gay-friendly areas and meet some people you feel comfortable with as friends.

Make sure that people know your not looking for a relationship (right now), just someone to hang out with, meet people, have drinks, coffee, whatever. This way you make your way around and you have friends you can talk to. Sometimes even the saunas or the gym can be a place to meet people--although they tend to meat markets, you can still let folks know your not there for any "action."

Years ago I used to go to Babylon and I met a few long lasting friends (never had sex with them). They were very clear that they weren't there for sex--they were in the dining room area. We had drinks, exchanged phone numbers and that was it. Saunas may be a bit much of if your not comfortable, but try a few places around town--maybe Soi 4. Meet some folks.

Best to you.

[bibendum]

Scott gives good advice - try a few places in Soi 4. Start off at Tapas at the Silom Road end of the Soi where there is a mixed crowd of young guys and girls but many of them are gay. It's the 'top end' of the Soi 4 bars but from your previous posts I think you can afford it. From the terrace outside you can see most of what's going on in the rest of the Soi. Cafe 4 or Bar Bar might be good second places to try.

[noctiluca]

This may or may not be your cup of tea, but how about checking out info from GYENT web site (you could google it). It seems to cater to those in your social circle/status. Whatever you decide, have fun and good luck!

[thaicurious]

all my gay male friends are regular guys, not a flake among them. you meet them like you meet anyone. my partner of 10 years (lost to accident), a way hot construction worker, and i met because our parents introduced us and our parents had no idea at the time what they were getting us all into. i met another gay guy on line and in time he would become my best friend. he was such a regular guy that years ago he was a "straight" heart-throb on american television.

there is no mystery to meeting regular people who happen to be gay. just be yourself and you will find them or they will find you. probably the most difficult thing about finding love is the obstacles we lay out for ourselves. when we are looking for mr. potato head. i like that guy's face but not his personality. i like his smile but not his laugh. i love the way he handles himself in a social setting but he's such a dork at work. i could fall in love with him if only he had a college degree. if only i could take a piece from him and one from him and one from that guy over there, but that isn't life.

if you think it is tough now at 29 when you turn heads, just wait until you are 50 and turn invisible to the gay world. he's got a great body and he's really good looking and he's even financially independent, but he has grey hair. why can't i just find a well-hung lawyer who loves to laugh and knows how to cook?