Wedding Gift/present

[noctiluca]

Hi,

I need some suggestions, please. A colleague of mine who is a farang/expat is getting married. It's going to be, I assume, a traditional western wedding (including a ceremony at a Christian church).

I am not closed to him, and I don't think he is expecting a big, expensive present. What should I give him and his wife, and is it required? How do you approach this subject? What is the etiquette?

Thanks.

[rgs2001uk]

noctiluca,

i would not worry about it too much, have you been invited to the wedding ceremony and/or the wedding reception. if not, i would not buy any present.

it sounds to me, and i apologise if i am wrong, that this is a work colleague, if so i would buy a simple card, best wishes for your wedding day, good luck on your future type of card, have the staff in the office sign it, and present it to the person involved a few days before the wedding.

i can only answer for myself, no doubt others will give you their opinion, but if you worked beside me, and i had not invited you to the wedding, because as you say you are not close, then i would not expext anything, and it would not be required, and i also would not be offended.

i do not know what country your colleague is from, some countries have different etiquette, maybe if you let us know, someone from the same country as your colleague will let us know the etiqutte of that country.

[Spee]

It's going to be, I assume, a traditional western wedding (including a ceremony at a Christian church).

I am not closed to him, and I don't think he is expecting a big, expensive present. What should I give him and his wife, and is it required?

IMHO, anyone invited to attend a traditional western wedding as you have described, should bring some sort of gift for the bride and groom. If you aren't close, then it doesn't have to be anything fancy. There are plenty of options:

- Cash and card always works. Shows thought and can be used anywhere for anything.

- American Express gift cheque along with a card. Shows thought and can be used anywhere for anything. These can be bought in many different denominations and used in many places.

- Gift certificate from a local store, most larger brand name appliance stores often offer gift certificates; haven't verified this in LoS but would expect it.

- Probably not, but if the couple has gone the whole nine yards with the western wedding, then they may have registered somewhere (i.e., selected a store to buy place settings, cutlery, applicances, other home furnishings, etc.). If so, then you could pick something from the register which ensures they get something they want.

Several of my friends and colleagues have paid for their own wedding (as opposed to the western/christian tradition of the bride's father paying for everything). A large wedding with band, open bar, etc. can get expensive in a hurry. If the bride and groom are footing the bill, then cash can be a welcome gift to help offset the cost. Of course, a bit of extra cash is always nice on the honeymoon, too.

From personal experience, I usually give cash in ranges from several hundred US dollars for a family member, a hundred or two for closer friends, maybe 50-100 for work colleagues and less close friends. Not trying to call your shots, but cash & card in the range of 1000-4000 baht may seem appropriate, depending on your relationship with the groom, how much you can afford, etc.

If in doubt, go to a reliable source for etiquette:

http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/tips/wedding_gifts.htm

Hope this helps!

[Sanpatong]

Thai wedding: BRING MONEY.

There was an enevelope with your name on it with the invitation right? Well, that's a clear sign some money should go into the envelope Suggested denomination: 1000 baht. Or 2000 if you feel like it.

[jimmym40]

A little more info would help. Is the wedding in Thailand? Were you officially invited? Did they send out invitations? Word of mouth?

You can never go wrong putting money in an envelope. If in the US, I prefer a gift certifate of some sort. They way they are forced to purchase something, and then the gift has more remembrance of where/who it came from. Money seems to make people forget.

[noctiluca]

Thanks so much for your wonderful advices.

Yes, I was invited to the wedding both the church ceremony and reception; however, I think I'll opt to go to church only. It would be nice to see a western (British) religious wedding ceremony in the backdrop of Thailand.

I know for traditional Thai wedding, cash is acceptable, just was not so sure about western wedding. They may have some sort of wedding registry, but they may inform those to their western friends and family.

After listening to you all, I'm inclined to think that cash may be appropriate in this case. Do I need some kind of special envelope to go with it? I'm not sure about store gift card or certificate in BKK, but will check it out. It's a good idea too.

Another thing, would the dress code for men require a tie, apart from a nice formal long sleeve shirt or suit? Thanks again.