Anger Management

[skipvice]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

It out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

Someone you don't know......

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

Make.

I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn

Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear& nbsp;"Get the right stinkin

Number!"

And the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone

Could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call

Her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an idiot!" and

Hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'idiot' next to it, and

Put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was pay ing bills

Or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an idiot!" It

Always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'idiot' calling

Would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John

Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar

With our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back

And said, "That's because you're an idiot!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready&nbs p;to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

Patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting

For that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in

His back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first idiot (I had his

Number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW idiot,

Too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

He said, "Yes , it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He

Said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow

Rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"

He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an idiot!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now , when I

Had a problem, I had two idiots to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called idiot#1.

He said, "Hello."

I said, "You're an idiot!" (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah,"

He screamed, "Stop calling me,"

I said, "Make me,"

He asked, "Who are you?"

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "idiot, I live at 34 Oaktree

Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in

Front."

He said, "I'm coming&n bsp;over right now, Don. And you had better start

Saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared" and hung up.

Then I called idiot #2.

He said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello, idiot".

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

I said, "You'll what?"

He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass!,"

I answered, "Well, idiot, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

Now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to&NB sp;kill

My gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree

Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.

I got there just in time to watch two idiots beating the crap out of

each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and

surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.