Help Yourself.... Yeah, Right!

[udon]

"Stunning Girl" comes home with me, heads straight to the kitchen and helps herself to anything she finds without asking.

Opens draws, cupboards etc. throughout my house.

Only seems to occur with Issaan girls.

BKK girls are well mannered and have never touched a thing.... so far.

I quietly try to explain that it is bad behaviour to do these things and she gets the hump and takes off into the monsoon without an umbrella .

It happened again last night.

Don't they ever learn the basics of simple, good manners from their parents or peers?

[KevinN]

Don't worry, In some cultures that is a sign of respect.

When they come into your house they just automatically go thru all of your plunder.

That is to show you that they think you are a very cool DUDE and they show respect by forcing them selves to look at what ever you have and make admiring sounds and faces to show that they think that your choices are cool and that they think you are worthy of the time spent and to show that you are not insignificant in their eyes.

And they know that you will return the favor once you are into their knickers.

[wamberal]

Udon,

The question of what is good manners in any society is purely one for the members of that society to decide. There are common practices in most societies that are considered bad manners in some others. Presumably you are not a Thai -- do you accept the strictures on what is good manners in Thai society (eg not touching people on their head, not losing your temper, not pointing your foot at another etc etc?)

I would be willing to bet that most non-Thai, including you, accept those strictures.

But why, in Thailand, should Thai people accept your concept of good manners from your own, non-Thai society? I am not having a go at you, but I do think that it is helpful for us to ask ourselves these sort of questions. Good manners in one society can be bad manners in another. As you are living in Thailand, I wish you good luck in your efforts to convert the population to your construct of good manners, from your home society, wherever that is.

[Bluecat]

From Isaan?

Why?

Must have been a very "weathered" one, I think,...(is it English? ).

[RamdomChances]

wamberal

While I accept the point about trying to force ones own idea of polite behaviour in a forgien country/culture is wrong.

The behavior that udon talks about would generally be classed as pretty poor even in thailand.

[Mai Krap]

Trying to put all girls from ISSAN into one group is like saying all girls from California are the same.

[Begs]

I promised to be nice so I will say this politely, trying to put all girls from ISSAN into one group is like saying all girls from California are the same. If you are picking up hookers at patpong or anywhere in bangkok and the girl is from ISSAN she has already been rejected or passed over by many men before she became a hooker for any number of reasons.

Do not take hookers to your home. Get a hotel room.

So Now you all know.................................

Jesus h Christ, i read some <deleted> on this forum......lol..........unbelievable.

[elsie]

The behavior that udon talks about would generally be classed as pretty poor even in thailand.

I agree with you, Random. I can only speak for myself, as I was bred, born and raised in Bangkok. I don't touch people's stuff unless I'm told it's OK to do so.

I've been to my dear mate's place on countless occasions. And to this day, every time I go there, she still goes get a glass of water (read wine) for me - even though I know exactly where she keeps things.

Don't know about other regions.

[udon]

Don't worry, In some cultures that is a sign of respect.

When they come into your house they just automatically go thru all of your plunder.

That is to show you that they think you are a very cool DUDE and they show respect by forcing them selves to look at what ever you have and make admiring sounds and faces to show that they think that your choices are cool and that they think you are worthy of the time spent and to show that you are not insignificant in their eyes.

And they know that you will return the favor once you are into their knickers.

Bwahahahahaha

[udon]

I promised to be nice so I will say this politely, trying to put all girls from ISSAN into one group is like saying all girls from California are the same. If you are picking up hookers at patpong or anywhere in bangkok and the girl is from ISSAN she has already been rejected or passed over by many men before she became a hooker for any number of reasons.

Do not take hookers to your home. Get a hotel room.

Who said that she was a hooker?

Pls read my post again, you seem to be reading too much into it.

[Simbo]

Manners are manners, world wide, why make excuses for Thais. I've had issan girls going through my stuff. It's just plain nosey and I tell them so, but they still do it. The best thing I bought was a safe. Everything I don't want prying eyes to see goes in it.

[udon]

I did ask her what her family would think of me if I arrived at their home and headed straight for their food etc and helped myself and started opening drawers etc.

Stunned silence and then she took off into the monsoon

[Totster]

I promised to be nice so I will say this politely, trying to put all girls from ISSAN into one group is like saying all girls from California are the same. If you are picking up hookers at patpong or anywhere in bangkok and the girl is from ISSAN she has already been rejected or passed over by many men before she became a hooker for any number of reasons.

Do not take hookers to your home. Get a hotel room.

Mai Krap .... talks Krap !!

[john b good]

Udon,

The question of what is good manners in any society is purely one for the members of that society to decide. There are common practices in most societies that are considered bad manners in some others. Presumably you are not a Thai -- do you accept the strictures on what is good manners in Thai society (eg not touching people on their head, not losing your temper, not pointing your foot at another etc etc?)

I would be willing to bet that most non-Thai, including you, accept those strictures.

But why, in Thailand, should Thai people accept your concept of good manners from your own, non-Thai society? I am not having a go at you, but I do think that it is helpful for us to ask ourselves these sort of questions. Good manners in one society can be bad manners in another. As you are living in Thailand, I wish you good luck in your efforts to convert the population to your construct of good manners, from your home society, wherever that is.

"Manners are manners" where ever you might be.

Making excuses for people on the grounds that what might be 'manners here are not manners there' is just so much horsesh1t.

This is just one big cop out for all those absolutely ignorant people who push doors back in your face, try to get into lifts (and trains, busses etc) while people are trying to get out, park their motorcycles across the footpaths, place telephone boxes in the middle of footpaths etc (the list is endless)

Manners is not and never will be a significant part of the average asians makeup/disposition.

You can't go around making excuses for ignorant mannered buffooons where ever they might come from.

Facts are facts and manners are manners (and thats a fact)

[chonabot]

I promised to be nice so I will say this politely, trying to put all girls from ISSAN into one group is like saying all girls from California are the same. If you are picking up hookers at patpong or anywhere in bangkok and the girl is from ISSAN she has already been rejected or passed over by many men before she became a hooker for any number of reasons.

Do not take hookers to your home. Get a hotel room.

One the 12th day God created Mai Krap who spoke volumes of Krap

[KevinN]

john b good;; you are one of the few people that post on this forum with you eyes wide open.

You hear all about the Respectful,friendly,peaceful people here in Thailand on this forum.

And then every once in awhile someone starts a thread about a Thai losing face or just planing getting mad about something and that he will kill you if you do not watch out,Never get involved in a row with a Thai as they are dangerous and will always carry a grudge.That Thai men can not control their anger.

The govt goes out and kills a few rampaging terrorist or drug dealers and try to maintain law and order and everyone is saying what savages they are.

Folks just can't seem to make up their minds.

I find that Thailand and the people here are about the same as you will find anywhere else in the world.no better,,no worse really,I have never had anything stolen,so I consider them more honest than folks in some country's,,Mexico being the worst that I have visited in a long time.

But the people here are not taught to respect all people,only those above you in status,consideration of others,and they are no more peaceful than anyone else anywhere or more violent,,fuk with the bull,and you're gonna get the horn.

When ever anyone comes into my home,they are respectful to me,they set at my table and we drink coffee and they will not even take a cigarette with out asking or being offered. I do not speak much Thai ,but I do have some Thai friends that stop by from time to time and some male inlaws that come in. But I am the only farang that lives in our village full time,but there are some others as I have seen a couple from time to time.and my wife works and is gone all day.

I have no problems,but I imagine that if I wanted some trouble, I could find some if I looked.

[udon]

Manners are manners, world wide, why make excuses for Thais. I've had issan girls going through my stuff. It's just plain nosey and I tell them so, but they still do it. The best thing I bought was a safe. Everything I don't want prying eyes to see goes in it.

Hi Simbo, where did you buy your safe, how big is it and how much did you pay for it? key or digital?

A safe seems to be my only answer as I'll be handling a fair amt of cash soon on a daily basis.

thanks,

udon

[Mai Krap]

I edited my first post and will start over here.

The thing is all girls from Issan aint the same. Like any culture the ones that run around together probably are the same. I know some very nice familys from Issan who are very reserved and conservative. Its not correct to slam girls from Issan. There are some very ill manered women in Thailand and alot of those gravitate towards falang. Ive met plenty of falang and some of the wretched wenches that lead them around with a ring in thier nose, But to balance this there are also the good relationships out there. It is easy to hook up with girls here and everybodys doing it. It is hard to meet nice women for long term healthy relationships because of the repetation of falang guys drinking and whoring and no decent girl wants that kind of a guy. Not in Europe or anywhere else. We all make our choices about girls and ive made some bad ones in the past. You can bet that up.

[udon]

Mai Krap.

You still seem to have a comprehension problem.

The thing is all girls from Issan aint the same

I said

Only seems to occur with Issaan girls

It is a sad fact, that's all.

fin.

[alleypanda]

Are you talking about a bar girl?

I don't know if you can expect 'miss manners' from a bar girl.If they have a nice family teach them what should and what not ,she would never be a bar girl at the first place.

[Wash]

Maybe I am the crazy one but where I come from it is customary to show people around your home when they visit.

I can understand the concern about people wondering around without asking but think it is a good idea to show people around so they know where the bathroom is etc.

The thing I find interesting in our part of Isaan is the reluctance of my wife to do exactly that and suspect it is because she doesn't want to show off since she has so much more than most of the people that visit.

There is always another side to virtually any issue.

[udon]

Are you talking about a bar girl?

No.

[udon]

I can understand the concern about people wondering around without asking but think it is a good idea to show people around so they know where the bathroom is etc.

Pls read my post again, I said "opening drawers, cupboards and helping themsaelves to food etc. without asking"

A far cry from wandering around!

[Begs]

Are you talking about a bar girl?

I don't know if you can expect 'miss manners' from a bar girl.If they have a nice family teach them what should and what not ,she would never be a bar girl at the first place.

Another expert in the Forum....................

Even after nearly 14 years in Thailand, i can still learn something new from the experts here.

The mind boggles................

[udon]

Begs, can I buy you a beer or 3?

[Insight]

Can't say I've had the same experience, ever... Maybe a case of being too welcoming?

(There was absolutely no point in me posting this)

[Blake7]

Same, same in China - they (male and female friends) come into your house for the fits time and look through your personal letters, open windows, and generally make themselves at home.

It's just a cultural thing and nothing to be offended about.

[Ajarn]

I can understand the concern about people wondering around without asking but think it is a good idea to show people around so they know where the bathroom is etc.

Pls read my post again, I said "opening drawers, cupboards and helping themsaelves to food etc. without asking"

A far cry from wandering around!

I believe if she were to enter some other house of a Thai person they'd just met, she would never in a million years pull shit like that.... I just asked the 3 Thai people around at the moment, and they all agreed they couldn't imagine anyone except a 'khon baa' to do something like that in any house that wasn't her own, and they'd toss her ass out... Awk! Pai!

One Thai habit that pulls my chain is showing up unannounced at your home, and even opening the door and entering the house! I'm strickly in the 'House is MY Castle' frame of thinking...

And acting...I prefer the freedom of 'sans suit' when I'm alone at home On a couple of occasions, I was close to being caught out by a couple of my CMU students

Since then, If I feel I need to, I always mention this part of 'my culture'. They think it's a bit quirky of me to require prior notice, but everyone has complied with no problems-- except that they NEVER show at the time they said they'd be there...Ya' can't win them all, I suppose

[wolf5370]

I have never had them, Isaan or anyother, opening my draws etc (though I have locking cupboards and two safes for stuff that's worth anythig or personal). What I do get, and yes this does seem to be Isaan girls (the Northern and Bangkok visiters have never asked), is asked personal questions.

Had a party yesterday following the monks blessing my new house, and the first thing an Isaan friend asked is "Nice house. How much did you pay for it?" (in Thai). She tried several times before making a joke a giving up - I was in my Thai-answer-avoidance mode "Not that much". I got it in the Phi as well - on being introduced, "Hello. How much money do you earn?". I know nothing is meant by the questions, so do not take offence. I just avoid answering the questions I feel are personal and/or sacrosant. You could do the same by putting locks on you cupboards. Or Thai no-entry signs on your kitchen door/fridge perhaps

[udon]

You could do the same by putting locks on you cupboards. Or Thai no-entry signs on your kitchen door/fridge perhaps

I think I'll put a simple, house rules sign on the fridge door or nick a few of those intl signs from the new metro stations....