Expats And Depression

[stevenjm]

I am amazed at amount of friends who are expats that suffer from depression. Am wondering who else suffers from this mongrel of a thing and how you cope with it.

I have tried antidepressants myself but they just don't do anything for me.

also wondering about the motivation for living an expat life and if your depression possibly plays a part in it (for those suffering with depression)

I find a lot of people with similar thinking and behaviour to me amongst expats but not amongst people at home country.

Don't be shy - its common these days.

[lazeeboy]

I am amazed at amount of friends who are expats that suffer from depression. Am wondering who else suffers from this mongrel of a thing and how you cope with it.

I have tried antidepressants myself but they just don't do anything for me.

also wondering about the motivation for living an expat life and if your depression possibly plays a part in it (for those suffering with depression)

I find a lot of people with similar thinking and behaviour to me amongst expats but not amongst people at home country.

Don't be shy - its common these days.

i get a little depressed sometimes ,mainly through being lonely ,then cheer up when freinds come out ,have many aquaintences but no best pals here in thailand

[JonnieB]

I am amazed at amount of friends who are expats that suffer from depression. Am wondering who else suffers from this mongrel of a thing and how you cope with it.

also wondering about the motivation for living an expat life and if your depression possibly plays a part in it (for those suffering with depression)

i think it is very prelevant among expats...especially long-term ones. combination of causes...homesickness, burning of bridges so some cannot go home, financial problems (major cause) and of course relationship problems. also, the realization that thailand is not the end of of the rainbow many thought it would be. it's nice but it's not home many find out. plain old boredom is also a cause and also being separated from ones own language and culture i think starts to play a big part after years of separation from it. i guess that's why maybe i estimate 75% of LT exparts are alcoholics. hit the bottle (either alcohol or prozac...chose your poison)

[stevenjm]

I am amazed at amount of friends who are expats that suffer from depression. Am wondering who else suffers from this mongrel of a thing and how you cope with it.

also wondering about the motivation for living an expat life and if your depression possibly plays a part in it (for those suffering with depression)

i think it is very prelevant among expats...especially long-term ones. combination of causes...homesickness, burning of bridges so some cannot go home, financial problems (major cause) and of course relationship problems. also, the realization that thailand is not the end of of the rainbow many thought it would be. it's nice but it's not home many find out. plain old boredom is also a cause and also being separated from ones own language and culture i think starts to play a big part after years of separation from it. i guess that's why maybe i estimate 75% of LT exparts are alcoholics. hit the bottle (either alcohol or prozac...chose your poison)

Yeh, I think you are very right. At the other end, personally, I am starting to question my motivation to choose expat life and am wondering if all this travelling is actually depression motivated. I go somewhere and get sick of it after about 3 or 4 years and then want to go somewhere else, applies to relationships also. I guess thus your end of the rainbow theory.

[garro]

I previously suffered from alcohol induced depression.

I gave up alcohol 15 months ago and no further episodes.

I would imagine that there are many other ex-pats with alcohol induced depression.

Luckily, unlike other forms of depression, it is easily cured by removing alcohol.

People with other forms of depression should also avoid alcohol as it is a depressent in itself.

[Jai Dee]

I am starting to question my motivation to choose expat life and am wondering if all this travelling is actually depression motivated. I go somewhere and get sick of it after about 3 or 4 years and then want to go somewhere else, applies to relationships also. I guess thus your end of the rainbow theory.

Getting an new job and moving to a new country with a different culture can be quite an exciting time... a real high of new stimulation for your senses.

It can (understandably) wear thin after a while.

[girlx]

learning to be happy wherever you are helps. getting into a regular exercise routine helps. i do yoga with emphasis on breathing and meditation, which helps me immensely. get a pet. smile at everyone you meet. force yourself to do at least one new thing a day. turn off your tv. i used to have serious depression and was put on every type of medication, none of which helped. the above were some of the things that helped me- now i rarely ever get depressed.

[stevenjm]

Getting an new job and moving to a new country with a different culture can be quite an exciting time... a real high of new stimulation for your senses.

It can (understandably) wear thin after a while.

Thats exactly my point. What is it with this needing new stimulation for the senses all the time as opposed to people who go nowhere and seem happy.

Girlx - thanks for the advice, that seems to be the general consensus too. BTW I got the dog but its a border collie and is causing me even more stress. Have been told by others also that meditation can really help heaps and have started reading a book on Vipassana.

Edited September 24, 2007 by stevenjm

[Sarge]

dunno 'bout depression but expats can suffer from "culture shock", having to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings and different way of life. That along with demands of high power jobs can lead (over a period of time) to serious stress. I've lived and travelled to several countries and never really experienced cultural shock, maybe because I have always done my homework on customs and traditions of the host country, so never got surprised. Until I went down under .... It's deeply ironic that the only country I've suffered massive cultural shock is the one that has no culture to speak of, kind of 3rd world country in terms of human and social development. Funny innit? At least you guys in Thailand live among human beings.

[Maigo6]

I think many long termers in Thailand will become bored and depressed, Thailand is not what they thought it would be after the initial honeymoon is over.

Just read many of the posts on this Forum, constant complaining, always comparing Thailand with the country they left, everything seems better according to many, in the country they left. Less visible corruption, no Visa regs, no double pricing, less pollution, less idiotic drivers, no language barrier, no decietful women, no racially motivated laws aimed at putting them down etc etc....

Alas, for many they have burnt their bridges back in their home countries and can no longer afford to go back, so they stick it out in Thailand, unhappy, bitter and twisted, demoralised and depressed, alcoholic and Valium popper...

So, how can you tell me you're lonely,

and to say for you the sun don't shine.

Let me take you by the hand, and lead you through the streets of Pattaya,

I'll show you something, to make you change your mind.

[stevenjm]

dunno 'bout depression but expats can suffer from "culture shock", having to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings and different way of life. That along with demands of high power jobs can lead (over a period of time) to serious stress. I've lived and travelled to several countries and never really experienced cultural shock, maybe because I have always done my homework on customs and traditions of the host country, so never got surprised. Until I went down under .... It's deeply ironic that the only country I've suffered massive cultural shock is the one that has no culture to speak of, kind of 3rd world country in terms of human and social development. Funny innit? At least you guys in Thailand live among human beings.

Funny you should mention that. have been in oz about six weeks now and have never been this depressed. I knew it - its the ###### Australians doing this too me. Am running out of other good asian countries though.

[londonthai]

socialising, taking up hobbies and sports, creating stronger relationships and family bonds, living in a shared accommodation rather than alone, helping the other people around (for example by volunteering) - would help to overcome loneliness and lack of power.

if the language barrier is a problem - putting more efford into learning thai. Learning new skills can be a good passtime

[Naam]

Just read many of the posts on this Forum, constant complaining, always comparing Thailand with the country they left, everything seems better according to many, in the country they left. Less visible corruption, no Visa regs, no double pricing, less pollution, less idiotic drivers, no language barrier, no decietful women, no racially motivated laws aimed at putting them down etc etc....

most of these whiners would have a similar number of complaints if they lived in their home country or any other country. OF COURSE...a lot of justified complaints do exist but when i read (quote) "many of the posts in this forum" -out of which a lot are nothing but nonsensical- i can't help thinking "GET A LIFE MAN!"

[stevenjm]

Just read many of the posts on this Forum, constant complaining, always comparing Thailand with the country they left, everything seems better according to many, in the country they left. Less visible corruption, no Visa regs, no double pricing, less pollution, less idiotic drivers, no language barrier, no decietful women, no racially motivated laws aimed at putting them down etc etc....

most of these whiners would have a similar number of complaints if they lived in their home country or any other country. OF COURSE...a lot of justified complaints do exist but when i read (quote) "many of the posts in this forum" -out of which a lot are nothing but nonsensical- i can't help thinking "GET A LIFE MAN!"

Its actually a pretty legitimate post as constant complaining can be a sign of depression and I have met plenty of expats that are doing just that.

BTW now your complaining

[Mobi]

Many legitimate and obvious causes of depression already posted here.

Add to this the heavy drinkers/alcoholics, many of whom are suffering from depression - some are manic depressives. I know a few. Depression is often caused by an excess of alcohol, or a desire to cut down and/or refrain completely.

Then there are the retirees. People who have spent a life time working hard, suddenly find themselves retired with nothing to do. This happens all over the world, but those who choose to move to LOS for their retirement may be particularly vulnerable to depression, due to the preponderance of alcohol available, and also the difficulty of 'making oneself useful', or having a little part time job or business, due to the prohibitive work permit situation, which even requires a permit to work freely for a registered charity. If retirees are not careful in planning their lives, sheer boredom will lead to depression.

[Sarge]

Funny you should mention that. have been in oz about six weeks now and have never been this depressed. I knew it - its the ###### Australians doing this too me. Am running out of other good asian countries though.

only 6 weeks and you already feel depressed about the place? Imagine how'd you feel after 2 and half years .... Thank's God I'm outta here soon, moving back to civilization. Seriously, I too feel restless after a while and yearn to see if things are better elsewhere, life is too short and one country feels like a straightjacket.

Edited September 24, 2007 by Sarge

[Naam]

Just read many of the posts on this Forum, constant complaining, always comparing Thailand with the country they left, everything seems better according to many, in the country they left. Less visible corruption, no Visa regs, no double pricing, less pollution, less idiotic drivers, no language barrier, no decietful women, no racially motivated laws aimed at putting them down etc etc....

most of these whiners would have a similar number of complaints if they lived in their home country or any other country. OF COURSE...a lot of justified complaints do exist but when i read (quote) "many of the posts in this forum" -out of which a lot are nothing but nonsensical- i can't help thinking "GET A LIFE MAN!"

Its actually a pretty legitimate post as constant complaining can be a sign of depression and I have met plenty of expats that are doing just that.

BTW now your complaining

most of the time i am amused when i read about the huge big problems some OPs have to deal with on a daily basis. but it goes without saying that my heart bleeds (sometimes i even start crying) when i read about harsh realities like racial discrimination and the huge financial losses incurred such as paying an extra 5 Baht to a nazi-style baht-bus driver

[stevenjm]

Many legitimate and obvious causes of depression already posted here.

Add to this the heavy drinkers/alcoholics, many of whom are suffering from depression - some are manic depressives. I know a few. Depression is often caused by an excess of alcohol, or a desire to cut down and/or refrain completely.

Then there are the retirees. People who have spent a life time working hard, suddenly find themselves retired with nothing to do. This happens all over the world, but those who choose to move to LOS for their retirement may be particularly vulnerable to depression, due to the preponderance of alcohol available, and also the difficulty of 'making oneself useful', or having a little part time job or business, due to the prohibitive work permit situation, which even requires a permit to work freely for a registered charity. If retirees are not careful in planning their lives, sheer boredom will lead to depression.

Yeh, I guess they are very good reasons.

heres what I have learned so far (a thousand dollars worth of phsycology for free)

people should try to change their way of thinking rather than just try to live with depression or it will often return.

There is thing called the drama triangle that depressed people are usually trapped in. It has 3 points:

1: agressor - knee jerk reactions, anger and at extreme end murder

2: victim - why always me and extreme end suicide

3: saviour - trying to save somebody else while ignoring your selk - extreme end martyr

Personally I am very familiar with this triangle but not real familiar with the folowing good one and its all about changing out of the drama triangle and into the good triangle.

People who are depressed are usually trapped in this triangle and can visit one or any points in it and it is through having a bad "script" within oneself (bad and incorrect way of thinking even though it seems normal to you)

The key is to change your way of thinking and aim for the good triangle which also has 3 points:

1: Assertive - me and you but me first

2: Vulnerable - legitimate victim, potential for courage, owns feelings

3: Carer - in service, willing, know why, looking after oneself at same time, setting boundaries

Heres what I have been advised so far - everytime a worrying thought enters your mind push it away until a certain time of day (ie say to yourself - not until 5 oclock or whatever time you set) then at the predetermined time worry hard about everything until 5 mins is up and then stop by counting things until your mind is clear again, repeat this excersize daily.

when you go to bed and go to remove your shoes stop and think and remove your other shoe instead. This one is to teach stop, think and then react rather than just reacting.

I'll give more after another thousand I guess

Not sure if this stuff works yet only time will tell but for a thousand dollars worth ofr visits I thought I may as well share it.

Dr Naam - Sarcasm is in the agression section of the triangle.

Edited September 24, 2007 by stevenjm

[garro]

I think TV is a great place to vent when you have any worries or irritations.

They don't suffer fools gladly here but most posters can spot a real problem and will go out of there way to help in these situations.

If somebody is just whinging they will quite rightly told to get a grip (although often in not such diplomatic wording).

Sometimes a dose of abuse on TV is just what the doctor ordered.

[stevenjm]

I think TV is a great place to vent when you have any worries or irritations.

They don't suffer fools gladly here but most posters can spot a real problem and will go out of there way to help in these situations.

If somebody is just whinging they will quite rightly told to get a grip (although often in not such diplomatic wording).

Sometimes a dose of abuse on TV is just what the doctor ordered.

Brings me to another point my phsycologist made. Personally I love an argument and abuse (I'll often argue against what I beleive just to have one)

but dr naams sarcasm is a typical example of game playing by somebody in the drama triangle. People in this triangle throw out sarcasm and other traits to invite people into the drama triangle to play. people with depression should change the rules of the game by responding in a different way or ignoring the game and finding somebody else out of the drama triangle.

Not having a go at you dr naam - I'm a sarcastic bastard too

[garro]

Sorry Steve, but I don't think you can reduce life to triangles.

[stevenjm]

Sorry Steve, but I don't think you can reduce life to triangles.

Its not my theory.

But its accepted practice and theory for phsycologists with a degree in phsycology and years of practical experience with CBT.

And to me, a person who suffers from depression, it makes total sense.

[stevenjm]

Funny you should mention that. have been in oz about six weeks now and have never been this depressed. I knew it - its the ###### Australians doing this too me. Am running out of other good asian countries though.

only 6 weeks and you already feel depressed about the place? Imagine how'd you feel after 2 and half years .... Thank's God I'm outta here soon, moving back to civilization. Seriously, I too feel restless after a while and yearn to see if things are better elsewhere, life is too short and one country feels like a straightjacket.

Sarge - I think we would get on well.

Youve actually cheered me up. I can't help laughing about the 2 1/2 years.

Edited September 24, 2007 by stevenjm

[garro]

If it works for you, great.

BTW; it has been my experience that psychology degrees tend to attract the 'walking wounded'. This is why so many people are studying this subject in the west. I suppose if it helps them.

[girlx]

this is a good article to read: 39 Ways to Live and Not Merely Exist

oh i forgot to add to the list of things to ward off depression- TRAVEL! plan your next trip!

Am running out of other good asian countries though.

go to south or central america!

Edited September 24, 2007 by girlx

[Sarge]

this is a good article to read: 39 Ways to Live and Not Merely Exist

oh i forgot to add to the list of things to ward off depression- TRAVEL! plan your next trip!

Am running out of other good asian countries though.

go to south or central america!

now that's talking, I still have fond memories of my time in Colombia & Venezuela. Unsafe countries, disorganised but it's a hel_l of fun filled, full on life experience, never a boring moment. and the girls are hot ...

[Orion76]

I think that it is quite possible that some/many came to Thailand because they were unhappy in their home country and thought they'd be happy in Thailand.

Depression simply followed them.

[stevenjm]

this is a good article to read: 39 Ways to Live and Not Merely Exist

oh i forgot to add to the list of things to ward off depression- TRAVEL! plan your next trip!

Am running out of other good asian countries though.

go to south or central america!

hey, that is quite a good list. Heres another that works for me - drive your car at 230kmph down the freeway

Was actually thinking about costa rica.

more on the drama triangle here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

Edited September 24, 2007 by stevenjm

[stevenjm]

I think that it is quite possible that some/many came to Thailand because they were unhappy in their home country and thought they'd be happy in Thailand.

Depression simply followed them.

I think you have hit the nail on the head.

[deejah]

reprogramming your patterns are essential but not easy as they are often deeply and subconsiously ingrained

a frined of mine got off a large amount of depression meds with a therapy that reprograms your mind using these vibrating things you hold in your hands to distract your conscious mind as you undergo talking therapy

i also saw a segment on fox news about a lady using meridians and spinal tapping (external and no not the movie) to release hidden painful subconsious memories stored in your body cells and muscles that are holding you back

both of these therapies i am not sure of their names, can anyone help?

i am fascinated with all these things

i find these essential changes in my life come too slow as life is so short and we are not getting any younger