TommyGun Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 After having a bad experience with e Thai lady i came to the conclusion that all the women here are the same and are after only one thing. In my case it was true and i lost quite a lot of money, but the emotional crap was worse. Anyway I'll not go on about that. After i broke up with me ex, a few weeks later a met a lady in a coffee shop. I asked if the seat was taken next to her, she eventually introduced herself in perfect English that puts me to shame. After a short conversation i explained i was travelling back to the UK, we casually exchanged emails and said we would say hi from time to time. Staight away i assumed she was after one thing because of my previous experience When i returned to the UK i took a chance and emailed her, this was beginning of August just gone and my opinions of her were very wrong. She is very well edjucated and has travelled around the world with her work and runs her own marketing company in Bangkok. We have since met and things couldn't be any better but i always have this doubt in my head that makes me feel i can't relax because of my past experience, but i really do like her. Our relationship is starting to develop, and as with any new relationship we want to spend every minute of the day together, but there's a problem. She is 30 years old, and I'm 34. I have met her parents who have made me feel very welcome, i have had more a conversation with her parents in the 2 visits, than my ex's in the 12 months i new them. However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite. After that my question is. Do i tell her about my past, as this is makeing me un-easy sometimes. And is it normal to be a Daddies Girl at 30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarnmark Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 After having a bad experience with e Thai lady i came to the conclusion that all the women here are the same and are after only one thing. In my case it was true and i lost quite a lot of money, but the emotional crap was worse. Anyway I'll not go on about that.After i broke up with me ex, a few weeks later a met a lady in a coffee shop. I asked if the seat was taken next to her, she eventually introduced herself in perfect English that puts me to shame. After a short conversation i explained i was travelling back to the UK, we casually exchanged emails and said we would say hi from time to time. Staight away i assumed she was after one thing because of my previous experience When i returned to the UK i took a chance and emailed her, this was beginning of August just gone and my opinions of her were very wrong. She is very well edjucated and has travelled around the world with her work and runs her own marketing company in Bangkok. We have since met and things couldn't be any better but i always have this doubt in my head that makes me feel i can't relax because of my past experience, but i really do like her. Our relationship is starting to develop, and as with any new relationship we want to spend every minute of the day together, but there's a problem. She is 30 years old, and I'm 34. I have met her parents who have made me feel very welcome, i have had more a conversation with her parents in the 2 visits, than my ex's in the 12 months i new them. However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite. After that my question is. Do i tell her about my past, as this is makeing me un-easy sometimes. And is it normal to be a Daddies Girl at 30. Mine is 20 and she is supposed to go back home before 6pm. Do you think you are alone? Your past experience might have been with BGs or other similar types. Well, this is Bangkok and this usually happens here. Welcome to the club of Farang with Good Girls. I was shocked to read the first line of your post. How come you can say all are same? Taking a look at your spelling can I say that all English guys are same in making spelling mistakes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyGun Posted October 9, 2007 Author Share Posted October 9, 2007 After having a bad experience with e Thai lady i came to the conclusion that all the women here are the same and are after only one thing. In my case it was true and i lost quite a lot of money, but the emotional crap was worse. Anyway I'll not go on about that.After i broke up with me ex, a few weeks later a met a lady in a coffee shop. I asked if the seat was taken next to her, she eventually introduced herself in perfect English that puts me to shame. After a short conversation i explained i was travelling back to the UK, we casually exchanged emails and said we would say hi from time to time. Staight away i assumed she was after one thing because of my previous experience When i returned to the UK i took a chance and emailed her, this was beginning of August just gone and my opinions of her were very wrong. She is very well edjucated and has travelled around the world with her work and runs her own marketing company in Bangkok. We have since met and things couldn't be any better but i always have this doubt in my head that makes me feel i can't relax because of my past experience, but i really do like her. Our relationship is starting to develop, and as with any new relationship we want to spend every minute of the day together, but there's a problem. She is 30 years old, and I'm 34. I have met her parents who have made me feel very welcome, i have had more a conversation with her parents in the 2 visits, than my ex's in the 12 months i new them. However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite. After that my question is. Do i tell her about my past, as this is makeing me un-easy sometimes. And is it normal to be a Daddies Girl at 30. Mine is 20 and she is supposed to go back home before 6pm. Do you think you are alone? Your past experience might have been with BGs or other similar types. Well, this is Bangkok and this usually happens here. Welcome to the club of Farang with Good Girls. I was shocked to read the first line of your post. How come you can say all are same? Taking a look at your spelling can I say that all English guys are same in making spelling mistakes? I met my ex in the UK actually. It was when we got to Thailand her family was expecting me to buy everything. I bought a car and paid for a house. I wasn't even married to her. Before you say what a fool, we did live together in the UK for a year so i though things were genuine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BambinA Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite. Is this normal Thai culture? Maybe yes or no. I come from a Thai-Chinese modern family style. My parents grade me and my 1 year younger sister from maturity. I am a vet ,34 years old and my sister is a chemist who works in an American company. I have finished my work at 8 pm . By the way she has to work bit later than me. Funnily, I can not go out in late night whereas, my younger sister can. Because she is more mature than me. I can not even go to 7-11. My parents want to protect me coz I always act as a lil girl. Anyway, I love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Did they go to America on holiday with you too, Bambi?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianMavis Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Lived with a girl in the UK and then bought her a house and car? Sorry but that IS actually something that falls into the fool category. Don't mean to be harsh but uh, what do guys like you think when you are doing stuff like this? To me it's the same as suddenly deciding to walk across a busy Bangkok street with my eyes closed... I just wouldn't do it PERIOD. I guess some people just have too much money.... To answer your question, ya it happens, age doesn't seem to matter to some families here when it comes to protecting their daughters. Doesn't matter if she's 30, they will treat her like she's 14... be happy she is even allowed to see you, probably because SHE IS 30 and running out of time to find a husband. But make no mistake, it still doesn't mean anything, she could be a great person or she could be a hunter looking for a well to do husband to suck dry or at the least take care of her and her family for ever (whic still is horrible because at no time does LOVE actually come into the equation of your relationship). If you aren't smart enough to tell on your own we can't help you... so far you made some bad mistakes with the last one, try not to make the same mistakes. My advice is don't let money come into the picture AT ALL. Back when I was dating Thai women, the very FIRST TIME they asked for money for something I said goodbye. But I'm not old and fat so...... I can do that. No offence to you old and fat dudes. This is kinda a "tough love" response, I'm not trying to be a jerk, just trying to help ya out buddy. Damian Mavis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacup Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 (edited) I'm a BKK girl - thai chinese family. The rule of thumb in general for me was “must be home before dinner time” and, no go out after dark, period (except if w/them or other family members). You can do whatever you want after you’re married and not living at home. And then again they have another set of rules for my 2 brothers. Same same rule applied for my aunt(46) and female cousin (34) - does anybody want to date them? They're still available - nice, own land, have job, but just a little bossy. Edited October 9, 2007 by teacup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyCA Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Not typical for sure, maybe not normal, I would pass - not interested in involvment with the family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BambinA Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Did they go to America on holiday with you too, Bambi?? hehehe ..nope.. I got billion calls from my dad and mom when i was in LA lol. Bambi..you ok? Bambi eats yet? Bambi does not fight with people OK?, we know you are a tantrum queen. Bambi stays still in the hotel. Bambi blah blah..hehe PS. being a baby bambi, i love to cover my body with blanket and sleep well while my dad and sister drive... Oh well.. they do not want me hit other cars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo siam Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Probably has to be home to the Husband by that time. Just kidding, however this girls family/background in no way make it a sure thing that you won't get ripped off again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Probably has to be home to the Husband by that time. Just kidding, however this girls family/background in no way make it a sure thing that you won't get ripped off again. ....or a sponsor calling her at night time from abroad, also she may have a young child to look after, who knows. I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. As somebody else said earlier, do not repeat the same mistake, learn from it. Do no let money enter into the equation, at least not before marriage, if she's a gold digger, she'll soon reveal her hand, if not then maybe you get lucky this time around. Play safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZukiSuzuki Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 She is very well edjucated I wish i was very well edjucated, are you very well edjucated also? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Some of the Chinese girls in Singapore are a little bit the same - daddy's girls but i think more so in Thailand. In Thailand there were always more of the 30 something's in the office with cartoons and fluffy toys together with other shit all around their PC's and desk - it used to make me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onnut Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Some of the Chinese girls in Singapore are a little bit the same - daddy's girls but i think more so in Thailand.In Thailand there were always more of the 30 something's in the office with cartoons and fluffy toys together with other shit all around their PC's and desk - it used to make me laugh. Yeah, Some girls are very immature over here, the guys can be worse. my misses had to be home early, she was 28 at that time, now we are married so no problem. and to the OP, mate, everyone has a bad relationship at some point in there lives, get over it and try again. bit dumb buying house and car for her though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nidge Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Before i got married i lived with my wife in Bahrain for nearly 2 years. We moved to Thailand and were married 10 days later. At first we were living in my inlaws house in a tiny farming village in Issan. The night after i got married i went with my wife, her sister and a farang friend of mine into the city for a few drinks and to listen to a live band. At 11pm my wife's phone rang and it her father asking if we were on our way home because it was late. He then continued to ring every 30 minutes to make sure we were all ok. I think this is fine. It shows the family cares. In the west everyone is in such a hurry to grow up and leave home. Why? I like having people care about us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Funnily, I can not go out in late night whereas, my younger sister can.Because she is more mature than me. I can not even go to 7-11. My parents want to protect me coz I always act as a lil girl. Bambi does not fight with people OK?, we know you are a tantrum queen. Parents can be quite discerning hey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryHacker Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I would pass - not interested in involvment with the family Works for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. There is a third reason. The OP mentioned being well educated and nearly every female graduate student I know at CM university speaks English very well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qualtrough Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 When I met my wife she was 21 and she had to be home before dark, no exceptions. She lived about 100 m from Bangkok but was forbidden to go into the evil city. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. There is a third reason. The OP mentioned being well educated and nearly every female graduate student I know at CM university speaks English very well. 3 obvious reasons to be weary of a Thai girl. Sarge and I are going to stick non English speaking, never travelled farm girls from now on. Much easier to control and if they whinge you don't understand them What more could a guy want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 3 obvious reasons to be weary of a Thai girl. Sarge and I are going to stick non English speaking, never travelled farm girls from now on. Much easier to control and if they whinge you don't understand them What more could a guy want. orphan??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 (edited) As for the op - sounds not typical. However I suppose there are exceptions to every instance. Edited October 10, 2007 by britmaveric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. There is a third reason. The OP mentioned being well educated and nearly every female graduate student I know at CM university speaks English very well. 3 obvious reasons to be weary of a Thai girl. Sarge and I are going to stick non English speaking, never travelled farm girls from now on. Much easier to control and if they whinge you don't understand them What more could a guy want. .... and when one is in the mood for a menu change or she can't be bothered anymore then you can always get a live-in mia noi or two or three. The possibilities are endless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazeeboy Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 As for the op - sounds not typical. However I suppose there are exemptions to every instance. having a thai relationship is like the lottery ,very few winners . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchsmile Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 (edited) After having a bad experience with e Thai lady i came to the conclusion that all the women here are the same and are after only one thing. In my case it was true and i lost quite a lot of money, but the emotional crap was worse. Anyway I'll not go on about that.No they're not all the same and there are a few good apples. That said, avoid the stereotypes there are some "bad apples" among the supposedly "good girls", just as there are in any segment of society, though the proportions may vary. I have a lovely wife who I would I trust and believe she will not rip me off - tho I guess we'll only ever prove this to the sceptics once we're both dead and nothing went wrong. In fact if I hadn't spent so much time in Thailand, I would never have considered she would do anything wrong in the first place. After i broke up with me ex, a few weeks later a met a lady in a coffee shop. I asked if the seat was taken next to her, she eventually introduced herself in perfect English that puts me to shame. After a short conversation i explained i was travelling back to the UK, we casually exchanged emails and said we would say hi from time to time. Staight away i assumed she was after one thing because of my previous experience When i returned to the UK i took a chance and emailed her, this was beginning of August just gone and my opinions of her were very wrong. She is very well edjucated and has travelled around the world with her work and runs her own marketing company in Bangkok. We have since met and things couldn't be any better but i always have this doubt in my head that makes me feel i can't relax because of my past experience, but i really do like her. Healthy to be sceptical, but would be wrong to assume they are all "after one thing". (Same way women say guys are always after sex - often true but not always). Some are definitely worth "taking a chance" as you put it Our relationship is starting to develop, and as with any new relationship we want to spend every minute of the day together, but there's a problem. She is 30 years old, and I'm 34. I have met her parents who have made me feel very welcome, i have had more a conversation with her parents in the 2 visits, than my ex's in the 12 months i new them. However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Is this normal in Thai culture with a 30 year old. I'm totally understanding with this as she is the only daughter and they still want to protect her. It is frustrating when she can't come out to play though. Her parents are quite conservative, but my G/F is the complete opposite. A lot of girls (and guys) from "good" families still live with their parents into their 20s and 30s, particularly if their parents are in BKK. Obviously if their parents are upcountry and they are in BKK, that isn't possible. I dated girls that had to be home early, with good jobs, cars, family etc and they had to be home at certain times. In addition some keep bringing their friends as they believe they shouldn't be seen with guys out by themselves - personally I can accept this for the first couple of dates, but after that it's annoying. This is very similar to them living at home and it being frustrating. The easier option is simply switch to someone whose parents live up country. You've got to weigh up whether the wait is worth it. Some are some aren't. I've discontinued relationships in the past where these reasons have been a factor. Sometimes the upcountry girl living away from parents and getting by on her own can be a better prospect. Depends on the person and depends what you are looking for. In addition even girls from the office (large global MNCs, as well as smaller companies) who I was not dating would also live with parents. If we went out as a group from work, they had to be home at certain times. If you took your staff out you see this regularly. I remember one girl in particular from a previous employer who was quite international in her views, spoke good English, open-minded, but her mother would always ring at 9.45 to check. She always left shortly after. I'd often joke, oh it's nearly 9.45 your mum will be ringing soon. BTW I also found similar in Indonesia, tho' perhaps less so, hence it is not only Thailand. After that my question is. Do i tell her about my past, as this is makeing me un-easy sometimes. And is it normal to be a Daddies Girl at 30 As for your past - we all have them, it's part of who you are. Personally I wouldn't volunteer info unless you become very close or asked about it. I wouldn't exactly decsribe them as "daddy's girl", more a "family girl" who strongly respects her parents wishes. Let's face it you are some guy she has known a few weeks/months, it would be a massive risk from the sounds of her background, to cross them over you at this stage in your relationship. Her behaviour is not uncommon. It could well be a good sign. You must have got some impression from her parents, eg are they working, gob jobs, reliable etc. It's very difficult for anyone to really comment on them without knowing. It's also up to you whether you want a lovely farmer's daughter, rural type girl, city girl, independent-minded, conservative etc. That's what makes people who the are. You also need to leave that chip at home about failed relationships in the past. Don't carry it round on your shoulder, and lose the chance with this girl because of what one previous one did. If we all did this, very few of us would ever settle. Many people get hurt at least once, the world over, not just Thailand (tho' seems more common here sometimes from what I see and hear ). Just don't take it out on the next one To sum up, it sounds like there is a chance that you have a great lady there, who is open-minded. But you're right to retain a little healthy scepticism. You're probably also going to have to go a little slower than you are used to, and may have to compromise on the pace of things in view of her conservative parents. It can get annoying, but this will give you time to build up your trust of each other at the same time. Sounds like she is in her parents' shadow a little, but waiting to shine if the right guy comes along, who is equally open-minded about cultures; and proceeding a little differently than usual! Good luck . Edited October 10, 2007 by fletchthai68 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarnmark Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Probably has to be home to the Husband by that time. Just kidding, however this girls family/background in no way make it a sure thing that you won't get ripped off again. ....or a sponsor calling her at night time from abroad, also she may have a young child to look after, who knows. I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. As somebody else said earlier, do not repeat the same mistake, learn from it. Do no let money enter into the equation, at least not before marriage, if she's a gold digger, she'll soon reveal her hand, if not then maybe you get lucky this time around. Play safe. On the contrary, if a farang speaks good Thai, that means 2 things: either he studied/lived in Thailand for long or he has been with hookers for long time. Such an ignorant comment. I know a lot of girls who neither studied/lived abroad or with farangs (foreigners) but they can speak very good English and intelligent as well. Do not say that everyone is like this, but you should use the word majority of them. I had few gf from different parts of Thailand, and before meeting them I could speak, understand, read and write Thai very well. Girls I met could speak very good English. Maybe this is so because I dont hang around in bars but good circles. To OP, dont listen to negative comments, but be on alert. Not all human beings are same. If she lives with family, as you mentioned earlier, then there is very thin chances of having husband, children or any other man in her life. Most of the people who replied to this post, didnt read the whole post probably, and they just keep guessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyGun Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 (edited) However she has to be home by 10.30pm-11pm the latest. Probably has to be home to the Husband by that time. Just kidding, however this girls family/background in no way make it a sure thing that you won't get ripped off again. ....or a sponsor calling her at night time from abroad, also she may have a young child to look after, who knows. I tend to be weary with Thai lasses who speak perfect / good English, it may mean 2 things: either she lived abroad or she has been exposed to farangs for long time. As somebody else said earlier, do not repeat the same mistake, learn from it. Do no let money enter into the equation, at least not before marriage, if she's a gold digger, she'll soon reveal her hand, if not then maybe you get lucky this time around. Play safe. Her English comes from her edjucation. A Masters in International Business and e-commerce, and her past employement while working for the UN. She is not pulling the wool over my eyes as i went to her last speech were she stood infront of a 1000 guests. The problem is with me not her.. As for her parents i have met them twice and they are very nice, and we got on really well. Her father is now retired. We have both agreed to take things slow, and there is no talk of getting married which i wouldn't even consider just yet anyway. It's just strange having a relationship where she has to be home so early. I do respect her parents and i wouldn't even consider trying to adjust the way she is. Thanks for the advice anyway. PS, i dont know why there is such big gaps between lines. Edited October 10, 2007 by TommyGun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wileycoyote Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Just give it a go ! Wiley Coyote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetjock Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Nothing wrong with a girl being a 'Daddie's Girl'. Just depends on her answer when you ask her "Who's your Daddy?". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fletchsmile Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 PS, i dont know why there is such big gaps between lines. They're for you to read between Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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