Marriage Advive

[tsocr]

I have a question that I know has been asked many times in this forum but just want to make sure. My tgf wants us to have a Buddhist marriage as soon as I return to Thailand. I am in the mid east now. We have been together for over 2 years and have a home together and live together for most of the year in Thailand. The only time we do not is when I am on travel. She is now pregnant. Baby is due in April.

I have not yet received my final divorce from my wife in the states and do not want to go through the ceremony until it is finalized. I know many people have told me that the ceremony is not binding and do not worry. To me that is not what it is all about. It is and should be a time that both of us commit to our love without any worries of legal consequences.

She comes from a proud family and I know that is part of her urgency. She knows of my situation and the family I have left and so does her family. The family and village respect me very much and I do not want to jeopardize that relationship. My advice to myself is to go back to the states, get the dame thing over with and we go from there. It may not be as soon as she would like but I do not want to go through the ceremony just to have it done. As those of us that have gone through a divorce in the states or else where know, the court system is on their own schedule and the ex wife can drag things out until I give her my soul, it could take for ever. TGF still does not want to wait.

Bottom line is should I go through the ceremony even though I am still legally married to make her and family happy? Or should I wait till everything is final? As I said before I do not want to jeopardize any legal issues. I want to marry her through the complete legal Thai system when I have my final divorce and I feel that if I went through the ceremony I am not respecting the Thai culture and Buddhist religion which I do.

Tsocr

[Boo]

The village wedding is in no way legally binding so if you did do it for the sake of your gf & her families face then you wont be committing any kind of bigamy. As long as no paperwork is signed then it isn't legal.

As to whether you want to do it, well thats your choice but if you fully intend to legally marry her at a later date & she is carrying your child, then why not?? You could have the legal side finalised once your situation in the US is resolved & use the ceremony date as your actual wedding anniversay.

[londonthai]

yes, you should not hesitate to marry as soon as you come back to thailand - she is not going to exlain individually to everybody in the village about your problems in the usa. Marrying her now would safe not only hers but yours reputation as well in the eyes of the family

[fisherd3]

The Buddist ceremony is not the same as a legal wedding in USA, it therefore cannot conflict with it, you should regard it as a statement of commitment, in my Buddist wedding I didn't say a thing or sign a thing so how can one have put myself in a position of conflict?

Your lady's family you say are upstanding and know the facts you can rest assured they would know if anything was amiss, and would not approve.

You seem to be in Thailand now so better to go by the Thai way in these matters.

[VitalGirl]

The Buddist ceremony is not the same as a legal wedding in USA, it therefore cannot conflict with it, you should regard it as a statement of commitment, in my Buddist wedding I didn't say a thing or sign a thing so how can one have put myself in a position of conflict?

Your lady's family you say are upstanding and know the facts you can rest assured they would know if anything was amiss, and would not approve.

You seem to be in Thailand now so better to go by the Thai way in these matters.

The old Thai customs would already consider you married if you "co-habiting", let alone pregnant! - the Buddhist ceremony is just a formal way of seeking blessing and honoring the family. I was four months pregnant when we married in a very traditional (and very large - like the whole village came) Buddhist ceremony in Sukothai - if anything it was a bonus for me as the bride - everyone congratulated us and I got at least 371 belly rubs for good luck - the Thais love and honor fertility. Go with it... enjoy... but advise your partner to not get the trational garb made quite as tightly as usual - kneeling for 3 hours and unable to breathe not so great for the baby. Best of luck.

[pumpuiman]

Just do it.

Don't let the ex rule your life.

Take care of the one you love.

Congrats and good luck.

[torrenova]

I say go for it.

Don't forget you'll have to sort out who pays for what etc.