5 Lessons For Corporate Life

[AltumAngel]

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a

meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They

rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says, 'Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are

three, I will allow one wish each'

So the eager senior manager shouted, 'I want the first wish. I want to

be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.' Pfufffff, and he

was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted 'I want to be

In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.'

Pfufffff,

and he

Was also gone.

The boss calmly said, 'I want these two idiots back in the office after

lunch at 12.35pm.'

*MORAL OF THE STORY IS: ' ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST'*

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

'Listen,' said the CEO, 'this is a very sensitive and important

document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?'

'Certainly,' said the young executive.

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start

button.

'Excellent, excellent!' said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside

the shredder machine. 'I just need one copy.'

*LESSON II - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING.*

LESSON 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA

When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, 'What kind of -ese

are you?'

The Japanese confused, replied, 'Sorry but I don't understand what you

mean.'

The American repeated, 'What kind of -ese are you?'

Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.

The American, now irritated, then yelled, 'What kind of -ese are you

... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???'

The Japanese then replied, 'Oh, I am a Japanese.'

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind

Of 'key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, 'What do you mean what kind of -kee'

am I ?!'

The Japanese said, 'Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?'

*LESSON III - NEVER INSULT ANYONE.*

LESSON 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French,

who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie

appeared.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle,

He said, 'Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you

A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want

the pool of

Water to become, then your wish will come true.'

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and

shouted'WINE'.

The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so

Happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, 'VODKA' and

Immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, 'BEER'. He was so

Contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly

He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,

'SHIT!!!!!!!.........'

*LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES

ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.*

LESSON 5 - BEST ONE !!

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was

In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.

Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the

brain.

Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.

Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it

Wants to go.

Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where

it's going.

######.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the ###### very mad.

To prove his point, the ###### immediately slammed tightly closed and

Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste

whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief

Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly

Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable

Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred

Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body

Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the ###### be in charge.

*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK

YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ###### THAT IS IN

CHARGE.